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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I want to do something positive... Who's with me?

118 replies

poppydog10 · 21/09/2010 20:21

Following on from Funny's recent thread and others, it is obvious that so many of us are passionate about breastfeeding and frustrated that it is not seen as 'the norm' in this country.

I really, really want to help change things, but just don't know where to start. Collectively, we might be able to make a difference. Any ideas?

OP posts:
BuongiornoPrincipessa · 21/09/2010 22:16

I agree Thefirstmrsdevere, I hate that bf is always made into an issue on tv, and is almost always seen as controversial in some way. This can really put people off as most would rather do what their friends do and not rock the boat.

Hazeyjane · 21/09/2010 22:18

I think a really important thing (although this is more in the long term) is the whole issue of alienating women who have tried to breastfeed, had an awful experience and moved onto formula.

By this I don't mean not talking about the positives of b'feeding/negatives of f'feeding, but I do think there has to be a dialogue that doesn't poke at the painful scars that 'failing' to b'feed can leave.

I have tried and failed to b'feed each of my 3 dcs. It has been heartbreaking each time. BUT each time I have learnt more and more about b'feeding, and formula too. I don't want any guilt I feel to lead me to bury my head in the sand over formula, and I don't want to be negative about b'feeding in order to make myself feel better about my own experiences. If my dds ever have children and wish to b'feed I hope that my experiences will help them to succeed.

I think pointing new mums in the direction of mumsnet for advice and help if things go wrong, would be a huge help in enabling more women to b'feed.

SirBoobAlot · 21/09/2010 22:22

I also think there needs to be desexualisation of breasts - but conquering the porn industry is a huge mountain. The more it is rammed down your throat that breasts are to be oggled at and drooled over, the less accepting people will be of their natural purpose.

BoobyMcLeaky · 21/09/2010 22:30

SirBoob my DH no longer finds breasts sexy, after having his wife wonder around with them on show for the last eight months Wink.

Mumsnet is great, but, I think a lot of mums would like good face-to-face peer support. I know my DSis really appreciated the Little Angels service when she had her DS. Although she didn't manage to breastfeed she wasn't put off by her experience.

I love going to the local breastfeeding group but there aren't enough of them around Sad

FrozenNorth · 21/09/2010 22:32

This is an inspiring thread. I've been feeling a lot like this for a few months. I came over all middle-aged and made a list of stuff. So far I've done the following:

  • read Politics of Breastfeeding (POB) and got angry
  • made husband (GP) read POB, and then recommend it to all his GP friends. DH is now trying to get himself on a breastfeeding support training course
  • posted copies of POB to potentially interested friends
  • boycotted lots more things I belatedly realised were actually made by Nestle (e.g. Bakers' dog food). Oh, and Danone as well.
  • fed in public with as much nonchalance as one can muster with 32FF breasts
  • persuaded my PhD supervisor to let me teach this year's lecture on infant feeding (see my recent thread) to try and engage the interest of women and men in their pre-parenthood days
  • used my facebook profile to admit announce to everyone that I'm STILL breastfeeding and loving it. Yes, even the 2 year old. That took some guts.

I don't know whether any of those ideas are of any use to anyone else, but I'm adding some of yours to my list.

passionberry · 21/09/2010 22:42

Agree re. porn industry SirBoobAlot.

Have never understood why breasts can't be sexy and be for feeding babies - all sexual organs (male and female) have more than one function and men don't get confused about their own penises . . .

MoonFaceMama · 22/09/2010 08:27

mrsdevere i'm also pretty working class (brought up wc, still live in v wc area, but went to uni and work in mc sector, so see both iyswim) and i agree about lots of people not seeing bf as for them. My sil tried to bf and was unable. I think alot of this is at least in part due to a lack of knowledge about bf general (her ds said he would support if she wanted to try with another dc, aslong as they just accepted if it wasn't working, so clearly a lack of understanding around the mechanics of establishing bf Sad )Since then i have had my first and love bf and have been hoovering up all the info about it i can. I hope that next time i'll be in a better position to support her (and others i know). While pg a distant (wc) in law "confessed" to me that she had bfed her dd till 3 and this gave me a lot more confidance.

I'm sorry to take this down class lines. I wish it were not relivant but fear it is.

I think that i see an issue with two parts here. Those that want to bf but don't recieve the support and info they need. And those for whom it doesn't even seem like a possibility.

So this post is probably more problem than solution. I guess feeding in public and sticker schemes would help normalise (i hope so, rather than reinforce a divide) and personally i'd really like to get some training so i can better support other women who want to bf. Sadly this training seems hard come by. I wonder why non is provided by the nhs (to my knowledge) only by overstreached charities. Surely the nhs could commission them to deliver it? Now there are to be no more Pct's i wouldn't even know who i could contact re this.

MoonFaceMama · 22/09/2010 08:30

sorry ment to also say that i think hazeyjane makes a really good point. How do we not alienate ffs? Argh.

StealthPolarBear · 22/09/2010 08:45

I've been feeling like this for a while, have finished a peer support course want to do something else but bfc training not right for me. Not sure what the next step is really.

StealthPolarBear · 22/09/2010 08:46

MFM our training was delivered through our Sure Start Centres, which are part of the council

EauRouge · 22/09/2010 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crikeybadger · 22/09/2010 20:03

MFM- I think you're right about there being two parts to the issue.

-Those women who start bfing and then stop. (maybe there is some work to do here about expectations of bfing). Bf ing initiation rates are quite high in most areas of the UK so that surely shows that the follow on care and support is just not there.

-Those who don't even consider it for various reasons.

It's sad the way people talk about failing to bf (and that even puts some people off trying second time around) as if bfing is some sort of test of motherhood.

I guess changing the culture to make bf the norm can only be a gradual thing that will involve all of us doing little things to help it on its way. (great list btw FrozenNorth) Smile

Anyway, I am looking in to doing a peer supporter course if I can find one. Am also looking in to the bfc diploma but am a little confused as to the differences between the courses offered by nct/abm/bfn etc. SPB- care to share your reasons for not doing the bfc course?

I also think we need to challenge the lack of bf knowledge shown by many hcps. There have been so many posts recently about terrible advice from GPs, midwives and HVs. I know many of them don't give a stuff about bfing - but they should not be giving out up to date and accurate advice.

crikeybadger · 22/09/2010 20:04

inaccurate obviously

crikeybadger · 22/09/2010 20:05

bollocks

they should be giving out up to date and accurate advice Blush

BoobBuffet · 22/09/2010 20:28

Completely agree with the impact of celebrity/popular culture. No soap/series just has someone bfeeding with no issues or fuss and bother. Each time a different character has a baby, it's a massive opportunity missed. C'mon TV execs, one of you at least must get how important this is?

On a slightly more proactive front, bf picnic in front of the House of Commons? :o

MoonFaceMama · 22/09/2010 20:56

boobbuffet i kind of hope that the archers might see an opportunity for this as they have a pg charactu at the moment. But i guess it's hard to do someone just happening to bf on the radio, everything sort of has be announced! And is there such a thing as preaching to the converted?

harverina · 22/09/2010 20:56

I would love to be part of somthing that promotes breastfeeding, so count me in.

Think that BuongiornoPrincipessa's idea is brilliant - more features on tv would certainly be a start. They don't have to be hard hitting features all the time - fashion features, for example, would be a great start.

HCP's need more training on BF'ing. I think that ALL midwives and health visitors should HAVE to attend a peer support course as part of their training.

I would have found a simple leaflet explaining things like growth spurts etc to be invaluable. I hadn't even heard of these things despite me saying to every HCP that I was planning on breastfeeding. Maybe mumsnet could pull together and campaign for somthing like this to be printed, or included in ready steady baby?

I have put my name down to do a peer supprt course with the breast feeding network. Just waiting for dates. My group are also attending a uni lecture soon to talk to medical students about bf'ing. GP's and other HCP's need to be better educated re: breastfeeding. Yes they have degrees but they seem to be so poorly informed about infant feeding issues that women are not supprted to BF longterm.

I'm not the most inventive person so sorry if these ideas are not very good!

harverina · 22/09/2010 20:59

Also, more decent breastfeeding underwear in shops...why do hotmilkand anita etc not have stock in mainstream stores? Its always the very unsexy underwear that is available in debenhams, bravissmo etc.

mrsissue · 22/09/2010 21:02

I think BF picnic in front of h of c is an excellent idea, although you have to fill out forms to do anything there just in case we are bfing terrorists Grin.
I think more bfing on TV/in the media would be good but I think it is a double edge sword because you don?t want a soap to make a fuss about bf but you also need it to show the realities. I think part of the reason I failed the first time was because I expect bf to be easy and trusted hcp you know everything. I think if I had known more about demand feeding and not let the midwife give dd formula I might have stood a better chance.

crikeybadger · 22/09/2010 21:54

I've just found this article in The Guardian. It's from 2005 admittedly but lots of the issues that are in it are ones that we are talking about.

Most of it is spot on apart from one contributor who seems a bit muddled about the basics of breastfeeding. Any ideas? here it is anyway

StealthPolarBear · 22/09/2010 22:02

crikeybadger I know that counselling would not be a strength of mine - i am much more keen on the practical side of things (Not that counselling's not, hpoefully yswim). Plus I am back at work, hoping to pick up the peer support thing, even if I wanted to I woulnd't be able to commit I don't think. I might change my mind I suppose - surely it's a skill that can be learned like any other.

StealthPolarBear · 22/09/2010 22:04

can't imagine which one you mean Hmm :o
was she obsessed with doughnuts?

crikeybadger · 22/09/2010 22:05

Thanks for that stealth. I too want to be quite 'hands on' so to speak. I'll have to do a bit more thinking about it all I reckon.

harverina · 22/09/2010 22:11

A picnic at the house of commons is a fantastic idea! Surely that would make the news?!

theboobmeister · 22/09/2010 22:11

We could all agitate for better training for healthcare professionals, especially midwives and health visitors. Just look at the terrible advice that women are routinely given about BF - it's shocking that there is no mandatory training, and that even when they do get training it's often just a couple of days. I don't think this is going to change unless we make a loud and sustained fuss.

Having said that - there is lots of sensitivity about criticising health professionals, as you can imagine midwives and health visitors don't exactly have the highest professional morale and with the current staffing crisis, I can't see the govt doing anything to upset them ...

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