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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Has the tide finally turned and its fine to bf in public now?

77 replies

darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:06

I saw I woman today at a county village fete sitting down outside the tea tent bf her baby. She was wearing a boob tube so the whole of one side was on display apart from the nipple thanks to baby's mouth, and talking to her dad!!!!!

Good for her!

OP posts:
CoupleofKooks · 10/07/2010 19:10

i don't know, i think there are people who feel confident about it, which is great, but i have heard the usual amount of negative stories this year from people who have had bad experiences

a woman who was asked to leave Costa because another customer was offended by her trying to feed her twins

a woman who is stopping going to her village mother and toddler group because people make comments about how weird it is that she is still feeding her baby at 9 months old

a woman who had the police called when she was bfing her child outside her other child's school! the police thank god told the people to stop harrassing her!

but in short no, i don't think it is 'fine' for a lot of people and they seem to feel no shame about letting everyone know that

louii · 10/07/2010 19:17

Can't get away with any of that nonsense in Scotland, people being asked to leave places etc as breadfeeding mothers protected by law.
I have breastfed in many countries and have never ever had a complaint or anything negative happen.

Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:18

'a woman who was asked to leave Costa because another customer was offended by her trying to feed her twins'

Is this true because if it was I believe it is illegal now if the baby is young (six months I think).

OP posts:
Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:18

Also can you imagine the bad publicity for Costa.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 10/07/2010 19:20

Really, CoK, in Costa? I am surprised by that, because I am sure they have a breastfeeding policy. I am sure if your friend complained to the manager he/she would have a word with the staff.

BertieBotts · 10/07/2010 19:23

It's not illegal, darcymum, not in England and Wales. breastfeeding mums can legally be asked to leave a cafe/restaurant/etc

Most of the big coffee chains, costa, starbucks etc have breastfeeding policies and in theory their staff are trained to take the side of a breastfeeding mum rather than a complainant. But perhaps not all staff are aware of the policy.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 10/07/2010 19:23

I have never had a negative comment whilst bf in public. I have also recently bf my 18 month old at toddler group without any issues(although maybe I'm just oblivious of any dirty looks?)

My favourite positive comment was when a granny came up to me in M&S cafe when my first was 3 months old and said he was a 'lucky baby' to be breastfed

BertieBotts · 10/07/2010 19:23

It's not illegal, darcymum, not in England and Wales. breastfeeding mums can legally be asked to leave a cafe/restaurant/etc

Most of the big coffee chains, costa, starbucks etc have breastfeeding policies and in theory their staff are trained to take the side of a breastfeeding mum rather than a complainant. But perhaps not all staff are aware of the policy.

FakePlasticTrees · 10/07/2010 19:27

It might just depend on where you live. Round here, it's more unusual to see a baby being bottle fed.

SoBloodyTired · 10/07/2010 19:31

It makes me mad that England's so backward about this. It's a basic human right. Of COURSE it should be illegal to ask a breastfeeding mum to move, nobody asks formula feeders to go into the toilets. Grrr.

seeker · 10/07/2010 19:40

I bf dd anywhere I wanted to 14 years ago and never had so much as a negative glance. To my annoyance, actually, because I was an older mother, very confident about bf and desperate to do battle on behalf of my shyer sisters!

I was feeding her in Waterstones cafe when an older man approached me and I thought that my time to stand up for my rights had come. He said "I see you're a bit busy - would you like me to get you another cup of tea?"

Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:41

According to [http://www.babiesnappies.co.uk/2008/07/20/breastfeeding-in-public-the-laws-made-clear/ this] it is illegal to stop a woman bfing in England and Wales as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:42

See now why didn't that work try again

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 10/07/2010 19:48

You're right darcymum - there is protection under the sexual discrimination act, but not as strong as the protection in scotland which applies specifically to breastfeeding mums.

Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 19:54

I do admire the woman at the fete though. I was a bit like seeker bf here, there and everywhere without so much as a frown but I couldn't do it in front of my dad!

OP posts:
ZuzuandZara · 10/07/2010 21:12

Good for her Darcymum.

I breast fed my twins in costa a couple of days ago, got lots of lovely comments about how gorgeous they are etc, no negative looks or comments, like you seeker, I'm ready for battle if it happens!

whomovedmychocolate · 10/07/2010 21:16

The same people who tut are the ones that don't like either mums or kids I find.

I had one bad experience in the GPs but told the old baggage off for it.

Having said I don't feed DS out on public now, he's too big to lie down on my lap and also likes to hold my top up to show my other boob to all and sundry

Debs75 · 10/07/2010 21:20

I bf my DD's almost anywhere.
Mcdonalds, with my back to the rest of the cafe, whilst sitting in front of a huge mirror.
At a music festival very discreetly before standing up to get a bag and sitting down before realising boob was still out

My friend feeds her dd whilst walking down the street. she has a light shawl to cover them and dd is happier on the move then sat down.

It is disgraceful that shops and cafes think they can turf a mum out for bfing. It is more important that baby has its milk then someone has a skinny latte.

On the whole tho it is getting more 'acceptable' to feed in public, as it should be

itwascertainlyasurprise · 10/07/2010 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
darcymum · 10/07/2010 21:31

Where would you draw the line?

I don't think I could feed twins at the same time in public. Plus, would feel a lot more comfortable with a room full of strangers than with a relative or male friend.

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 10/07/2010 21:36

I'm not sure I have the balance to feed twins at the same time...

nikkidale · 10/07/2010 21:43

I am very confident about bf in public, and would be ready to tell people off who have a problem. I was, however, slightly embarassed when a male work colleague, known to be a bit of a sleaze, came into Costa just as I was swapping sides... That will be the talk of the office when I get back! All power to bf mums, don't be shy!

bluecardi · 10/07/2010 21:46

I bf when out & about. Don't think people notice & it's none of their business in any case.

ZuzuandZara · 10/07/2010 21:47

Could never feed the DTs at the same time in public, more than happy to feed while out but subtly, tandem feeding requires too much boob on show for me to feel comfortable!

browneyesblue · 10/07/2010 21:55

I use a muslin if bf in front of my dad. I'm sure he was just as embarrassed as me to begin with (especially as DS is such a noisy eater), but he didn't say anything. DS is hungry, so I feed him.

Then again, dad was my sister's birthing partner, so an accidental flash of nipple won't be the worst thing he's seen!