Has the tide finally turned and its fine to bf in public now?

[darcymum]

I saw I woman today at a county village fete sitting down outside the tea tent bf her baby. She was wearing a boob tube so the whole of one side was on display apart from the nipple thanks to baby's mouth, and talking to her dad!!!!!

Good for her!

I use a muslin if bf in front of my dad. I'm sure he was just as embarrassed as me to begin with (especially as DS is such a noisy eater), but he didn't say anything. DS is hungry, so I feed him.

Then again, dad was my sister's birthing partner, so an accidental flash of nipple won't be the worst thing he's seen!

browneyesblue how do you arrange the muslin when feeding? Do you drape over your shoulder?

I'm only asking as dc2 is due in Nov. and I will be feeding in public, with dd I hid away in toilets etc but determined not to do that this time. I do feel the need to be discreet though so am any grabbing onto any advice I get re. the logistics of it

I was at one of the county shows last year and sat on a stool at the front of one of the stalls so that the stall holder (a friend) could pop off to the loo. DD needed a feed (she was over 12 months old) so I popped her on. As I was sitting there dreamily I noticed that foot traffic had picked up considerably, and a woman came over and said "how nice" (the goods? the boob? the baby?) then I realised it was Camilla Parker-Bowles! I smiled and said hello... hope she understood my not jumping up to curtsey as breasts would have gone flying. Apart from that several people commented on how refreshing it was to see someone breast-feeding. DD is over 2 now and I dont think I have ever had a negative comment (except from a nurse who told me when DD was 15mo that she can stop 'all that' now) - it is possible though that I have just developed rhino hide as I am very discreet but still dont really care what people think!

Surely it's detrimental for coffee shop staff to back the complainant anyway - likely as not they would walk out in a huff saying "Well I won't go there again!" but annoy the mum and she is likely to tell all her friends "Don't go there - they kicked me out for breastfeeding, not baby friendly at all!" I mean what is the other person going to tell their friends - people get their boobs out in that cafe? I know I spent more time in coffee shops as a new mum than I have before or since (except maybe when a student!)

Was Camilla's visit on the telly with you feeding in the background?

Oh yes, bytheMoonlight, I go with layers - a strappy stretch vest underneath my more voluminous top, that way the boob pops over the top of the vest so tummy covered and the tshirt or top comes over the boob and over dd a bit too (though not always as she is not keen on being covered up! No flesh on display at all IYSWIM.

Entirely possible, there were definitely video cameras filming at the time.

The best public bf display I saw was the other week in Primark! The lady in question her her baby on the boob, walking around as she shopped (a friend was pushing the pram). The mum had on a spaghetti-strap top so not much cover. Way to go!

bytheMoonlight I tuck one corner under my bra strap (although I have seen people tie it). If I feel that I need a little extra coverage while latching him on (he's a wriggly little blighter), I tuck the other side under too until he's feeding properly. I practised a few times at home before trying it in front of my dad - try doing it in front of a mirror if you're worried.

I don't always use a muslin in public though. I bought myself a few cheap strappy tops (1 size too large) to wear under t-shirts, etc. I lift the t-shirt up and pull strappy top down under boob so that I can feed with minimum exposure. It keeps my tummy covered too. I find that far easier than the muslin, and less obvious. Nobody has give me a second glance.

It is a bit nerve-wracking the first few times in public, but it really does get easier - promise

The work colleague thing made me remember when DS was tiny my male, older and quite, er, traditional (!) boss brought a present to the house, and came to the open back door. As I was feeding DS I shouted him to come on through. At first he was fine but as soon as he realised what was going on he just about threw the present at me and ran out mumbling about being busy. Apparently he'd gone back to work in shock and told my colleagues of the terrible event, gasping that I'd been breastfeeding. They're all female and found his embarrassment hilarious!

I fed mine everywhere. I never had any negative comments, it is very discreet.
I am very surprised when people won't even feed at home in front of ILs etc-I would have been a hermit if I had gone off on my own!
The only time a felt a bit nervous was on a train and the lovely lady opposite said not to worry she bf on a commuter train in 1947, one with the old fashioned compartments, it was full of men going into the city and they just hid behand their newpapers! I never worried after that.

My DS is now 3 months and I have only just started feeling confident enough to breast feed in public. I do find it very hard to be discreet my DS likes to wave his arms all over the place pulling at my top, at my muslin cloth, you name it. I prefer to use a mother and baby room where possible and applaud anyone who has one, I was rather disappointed to discover my local Tesco didn't have one; I ended up sitting opposite the tills right by the window because I couldn't find anywhere else to do it, it hadn't occurred to me I could walk around feeding him lol!

I just had DD's school assembly and I fed DS2 (12m) whilst watching it with the other nursery parents around me and of course teachers and 200 or so primary school children. No one even noticed. After the assembly the only comments I received was on how well he behaved.

When he was a newborn I fed everywhere, park benches, buses, various coffee shops/restaurants, shopping centre benches and so on. Not once did I feel awkward or receive any negative comments. I think this image that BF in public is not accepted is a shame as it isn't always the case.

I fed DS everywhere and in front of everyone. In restaurants, walking round shops, at a concert in a church (verger was lovely and found me a chair with arms right in the middle so I was comfy and could see, didn't try and hide me in a corner).

Never had any negative comments except a couple of 'sis put them away' from my brothers, which were met with short shrift! One future SIL v.supportive and asked lots of questions, used to come and stroke DS' head while he was feeding. The other thinks BF is 'weird' and isn't planning to try it when they have kids, which is very sad for my brother and his potential future children I think.

I used to use a muslin when DS was tiny, but once he hit about 4 months he hated having his head covered and would yank the muslin down. I found it better to be without the muslin and therefore well covered by my clothes than suddenly exposed!

I feed my 13 week DD everywhere I go. I don't think that there is one place where I would not feed her. In the 13 weeks that I have bneen feeding, I have only ever seen one other mum breastfeeding in public, and this was only the other day in a Starbucks. I do occasionally use a feeding room in shopping centres if I am looking for a quiet place.

I absolutley refuse to go into toilets to feed - I wouldnt consider eating my lunch sitting in the toilet so wouldn't expect any baby too either!

I live in Scotland so I am protected by the law. It is unlawful for anyone to deliberatly prevent a breastfeeding mother to feed there baby (up to the age of 2) from feeding in a public place.

My experience of breastfeeding in public has been very positive - I have had people, including men, asking if I need help to open my juice etc.

Dont think I could feed standing up though! Will need to give it a go...do those of you who do it standing up use a sling?

I've never had anything other than positive comments and I've been bf-ing dd in public for nearly 9 months.

It's a bit disappointing really.

lovely thread. i saw a woman feeding her baby in the middle of h&m the other day. just sat down and did it when baby wanted it. i nearly wanted to go over and compliment her, but didn't want to freak her out!

i never had the balls to do so when i was feeding dd (6) . i would hide in bathrooms etc. its a terrible thing to make a woman feel ashamed of something so basic and natural.

I only had one negative in 8 months; at clinic of obstetrician postnatally in waiting room full of women waiting for 20 Wk scan. Was odd.

Who was it that said something Tricky?

I think my favourite bfing in public experience was in Dunelm Mill when ds2 was quite little
I went to the beanbag section and sat down, got settled etc, started feeding

a woman walked past and said "mmm they look quite comfy"
she sat down to try one

when dp wandered past looking for me 5 mins later he found us reclining on the beanbags having a lovely chat

I bf as and when whereever i am, and i have to say i don't take the "helpful" comments well, no I dont want to feed him in the toilet, i wouldn't be more comfortable elsewhere, and i no i dont think that i should be at home like in your day (OAP on bus i kid you not) the complainers are normaly the type to but newspapers with page three girls anyway!!!

I luuurve the 'helpful' comments. I find a cheery 'no thanks we're fine' throws the buggers nicely

Whenever we go to John Lewis I always nab the nursing glider chair in the display of the nursery section. I see myself as additional marketing for them I do get a few cats bum mouths from a few prospective Grandmas though....

cyclops, I was about to say that the woman in Primark could havebeen me

but then I realised I'd have been pushing my own pram...

bratnav I was in a shop last week and was using a display nursing chair to feed my DD and my DD was so sick...it was the most sick I have ever seen and it went all over the chair ! I was too concerned about my DD to really care, but I made a sharp exit!