@Crisphead I come in peace! To remind you, this thread was started when we were going through exactly the process you appear to be in now. We are simply about a year ahead of you.
It was started for precisely the reason you seem to have been reading it: trying to make sense of a school we initially thought was wonderful and, more importantly, a great fit for DS. The thread was never intended to go off at tangents, it began because we were experiencing exactly the same angst you describe.
Now, I assume your DS is a British boy who has been through the UK prep system. If not, some of the issues discussed here may be less relevant to you. But for us, and for many others in a similar position, we became increasingly concerned about something that is a genuine issue at Harrow, more so than at any other full boarding school of its typen, and, frankly, largely of its own making.
I can completely empathise with where you are. My suspicion is that the reason this thread is causing you some angst is because, deep down, you sense there may be truth in some of the points raised, but that sits uncomfortably alongside your enthusiasm for a school you want to work for your DS. That was exactly how we felt.
One would hope that hearing the thoughts and research of parents who went through the same process a year earlier would be of use, which is really the whole point of the MN boarding pages.
What you seem to do, however, is repeatedly dismiss the evidence people present and simply say “that’s not my experience.” That is of course your prerogative, but at times it borders on simply ignoring the issue.
If you genuinely have no concern about your son being at a full-boarding boys’ school with a significantly higher proportion of international pupils, particularly East Asian pupils, than any comparable school, then that is absolutely fine. In that case the sensible thing would simply be to ignore this thread, unwatch it, and continue your process.
But if you have even an ounce of concern and it is perfectly reasonable to have concerns when you are contemplating an eye-watering investment in your son’s education during his formative years, then it probably isn’t wise to ignore the issue entirely. The environment created by an imbalance in the boarding population is a real consideration.
For what it’s worth, we have no axe to grind with Harrow. We loved much about it. As has been noted a number of times in the thread, we do have history with the school.
We spoke to multiple current parents in person, were introduced to several more, specifically to discuss this issue, attended Speech Day, and DS spent time in a boarding house. In the end, however, we simply couldn’t square everything up.
Harrow is still a wonderful school. If the issues discussed here genuinely don’t concern you, then please don’t let this thread put you off. But if you proceed, it’s sensible to do so with your eyes open rather than assuming the reality will somehow be different.
Earlier in the thread you suggested sending a DM. Over the past year quite a few people have done so. If you would like to DM I’m very happy to share further insight if it helps.
But having an open mind does mean not dismissing things simply because one wishes they weren’t true.