Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Black Mumsnetters

This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling unsafe in the UK

96 replies

harietti · 09/09/2025 08:25

10 years ago I had experienced very little racism in the UK, and when I did, it was so rarely that I could put it down to one bigot being a bit of a knob. It was much easier to ignore. Today, I feel scared. I experience a racist remark from strangers at least once a month if not more, my street is littered with England flags, there is a house on my mum's street that has pictures of Tommy Robinson in the window, I've come off most social media because I can't stand the posts, my son has had racism at school (thankfully the school is incredible and has a no tolerance policy so the child was excluded immediately). I just don't know what to do anymore. It's affecting my mental health and I wish there was something I could proactively do, but there isn't. Not that will make a significant change. All I am doing at the moment is being unapologetically myself, but I still feel like shit. I was born here, and even if I weren't (like my parents), I have contributed so much to society. Worked on domestic abuse hotlines as a volunteer. Been in the charity sector earning a pittance my whole adult life because I want to help people. I feel really helpless and unwanted. Deep down I know a lot of people don't give a shit where my family are from, but equally I know a lot of people do. I'm finding myself becoming paranoid and avoiding conversation with burly white men, not because I don't want to speak to them, but because I just don't know who they are and what they believe. Often I find they are just normal people and are kind, compassionate, and I feel like an utter twat after for ever being worried. Though on two occasions recently my gut has been right, and I have been met with a racist remark, and on the other occasion, I was stonewalled. It was like I didn't exist. I am just so tired.

OP posts:
LittleDeeAndME · 09/09/2025 08:33

I really feel for you OP, this country has changed under the current government, and the opinions of Tommy, and Farage.
I am white, and am embarrassed on how so many previously non-racists are jumping on the bandwagon of painting and flying England flags.
The truth needs to be spoken about more in respect of how much immigration has helped this country become the wonderfully diverse place it is.
Things must change - but I am fearful they won't.

harietti · 09/09/2025 08:35

LittleDeeAndME · 09/09/2025 08:33

I really feel for you OP, this country has changed under the current government, and the opinions of Tommy, and Farage.
I am white, and am embarrassed on how so many previously non-racists are jumping on the bandwagon of painting and flying England flags.
The truth needs to be spoken about more in respect of how much immigration has helped this country become the wonderfully diverse place it is.
Things must change - but I am fearful they won't.

They probably weren't previously 'non-racist', they just feel comfortable to share their racist views now.

OP posts:
ThatWildMintSloth · 09/09/2025 08:51

LittleDeeAndME · 09/09/2025 08:33

I really feel for you OP, this country has changed under the current government, and the opinions of Tommy, and Farage.
I am white, and am embarrassed on how so many previously non-racists are jumping on the bandwagon of painting and flying England flags.
The truth needs to be spoken about more in respect of how much immigration has helped this country become the wonderfully diverse place it is.
Things must change - but I am fearful they won't.

They were not non racist. Its just that Firage, Tommy and his boys have allowed them to feel they can now be blatent racists rather than closet ones.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/09/2025 08:55

harietti · 09/09/2025 08:35

They probably weren't previously 'non-racist', they just feel comfortable to share their racist views now.

I think you’re right. I’m white and hear people expressing racist views probably weekly now. They must feel they are safe saying these things to white people now in a way they didn’t before and it sickens me.

ThatWildMintSloth · 09/09/2025 08:59

I have to agree, I do feel uneasy about it and I do unfortunately feel that Firage will win the next election and it worries me about how things will change.

I've not experienced anything (yet!) but I do find myself with a sense of I'm sure it will happen at some point. My husband has an accent and he has already noticed the increase of customers being rude and changing their manner once they hear him speak.

I'm glad that your son's school dealt with it swiftly and I'm sorry your son bad to deal with it in the first place.

Its very concerning.

skippy67 · 09/09/2025 09:07

BitOutOfPractice · 09/09/2025 08:55

I think you’re right. I’m white and hear people expressing racist views probably weekly now. They must feel they are safe saying these things to white people now in a way they didn’t before and it sickens me.

And do you challenge them? Or just stay silent and "sickened"?

StuntNun · 09/09/2025 09:08

I don’t think it’s simply that racist people are now more comfortable expressing racist opinions. I think there has been a deliberate information campaign to convince white people who don’t regard themselves as racist that immigration, in all forms, is bad for the UK.

I’m mixed race Indian and white and a lot of people mistakenly assume that I’m white. As a result, I’ve spent my whole life hearing racism from people who wouldn’t say such things in front of someone they knew was from an ethnic minority. I’ve never heard the kind of language that’s common now. In my experience, Muslims were previously regarded as a little foreign and strange but now everyone seems to “know” that they all think sexual assault is fine and they all want the UK to have Sharia law and halal meat. My mum is a Muslim immigrant and, let me tell you, she feels exactly the same way about those issues as a white English person born and bred would feel. But somehow the narrative has been changed to throw suspicion on all Muslims.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/09/2025 09:57

skippy67 · 09/09/2025 09:07

And do you challenge them? Or just stay silent and "sickened"?

Of course I challenge them. And tell them that I’m sickened! It’s always white men. Middle aged white men.

Tricorn · 09/09/2025 09:59

I feel unsafe outside London and even in London there are some areas that I won’t go.

onlymethen · 09/09/2025 10:14

I’m white and I hear the vitriol coming out of some people’s mouth and always challenge them. Most are uneducated and have found someone to blame for their lack of opportunities rather than they take ownership of their situation.
Ive came off all social media because its so upsetting the way some people feel they can abuse others.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 09/09/2025 10:26

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you @harietti. This country has lost the plot since Brexit and it’s getting worse. Please know that the majority of us don’t think that Tommy Robinson is king and are embarrassed by what’s happened to this place. You have as much right to be here walk down the road as anyone else; hold your head high.

jennygeddes · 09/09/2025 10:35

I'm white and so worried about what's happening. I have an asian husband and mixed race kids. I really want to do something , but just don't know what that is.

GiantYorkshirePud · 09/09/2025 10:46

This country has lost the plot. I have an east asian husband, when we lived in london he often received racist slurs from young black teens, it was awful.

Now we have a mixed race daughter, and live in the countryside, I’m worried about the potential racism she will receive once starting school as we live in a very white village. Husband hasn’t received any abuse but i feel like i’m always on high alert for any potential abuse.

UmmH · 09/09/2025 10:53

It's rife on mumsnet too. Sometimes I stay away from certain threads, but there are people who manage to bring racism and Islamophobia into every topic, so it's very hard to protect oneself online.

MsMarch · 09/09/2025 12:16

I'm so sorry. I wish there was an obvious solution.

I was very upset to see flags going up outside one of our schools last week... I don't htink it's a coincidence that it's a school with a more diverse student population than the other two high schools in our area. Thank god it was taken down quite quickly. But I felt terrible for the children who had to walk past it for a day or two until it was dealt with.

I also 100% agree with other posters that this isn't new. Brexit started making people feel they could voice these opinions and now the likes of Farage and the gang are giving them a "voice" and a sense of righteousness.

Tillow4ever · 09/09/2025 12:28

I’m so sorry you are being made to feel scared here, this is your home - you deserve to feel safe. I’m white but I will always challenge racism when I come across it. I just hope that more and more people who might previously have stayed quiet to keep the peace and ignore an odd bigot will realise that they now need to find their voice and challenge - because I am sure there are less racists than people who aren’t.

Sadly, it seems straight, white men are a bunch of arseholes - they are a threat to people of colour, to women, to gay people, etc. I know if I saw a black man and a white man walking towards me on a dark street, I would feel afraid of the white man only.

The only answer is we all have to keep standing up for an inclusive world. I just hope it starts to happen soon. I’m glad your son was ok and the school excluded his bully.

Loadsapandas · 09/09/2025 12:37

I hear you OP.

The racism, inhumane discourse re immigration, talk of remigration.

I’m 3rd generation, black live in Greater London surrounded by the bloody flags and worried and scared for the future of my family.

I’ve not had any comments or anything yet, but I can see it coming.

And having to explain the explosion of flags to my primary school child has been heartbreaking. I’ve reinforced that it’s a celebration, it’s ‘our’ flag (even though I suspect many flag shaggers don’t appreciate that), but it feels so off having my child asking ‘why are there flags everywhere mummy’, knowing full well people are questioning my 4th generation baby’s Britishness and would see us deported to god knows where in a heartbeat. 😢

TheJoyOfWriting · 09/09/2025 18:05

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 09/09/2025 10:26

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you @harietti. This country has lost the plot since Brexit and it’s getting worse. Please know that the majority of us don’t think that Tommy Robinson is king and are embarrassed by what’s happened to this place. You have as much right to be here walk down the road as anyone else; hold your head high.

Exactly, I'm also white and really angry people are feeling threatened like this. We have to challenge this wherever possible

TheJoyOfWriting · 09/09/2025 18:06

onlymethen · 09/09/2025 10:14

I’m white and I hear the vitriol coming out of some people’s mouth and always challenge them. Most are uneducated and have found someone to blame for their lack of opportunities rather than they take ownership of their situation.
Ive came off all social media because its so upsetting the way some people feel they can abuse others.

The government is also to blame for lack of opportunities, itxs not just people's own fault.

But scapegoating innocent people IS.

Reallynotsure25 · 09/09/2025 18:56

Feel the same, I’m black and like you I was born in this country and haven’t feel as unsafe as I do at the moment. I see the looks people give but thankfully nobody has been openly racist so far. I fear more for my young adult children having to navigate life with racist, emboldened Farage and Tommy Robinson flagshaggers about.

TruckDiver · 09/09/2025 19:02

Sadly, it seems straight, white men are a bunch of arseholes - they are a threat to people of colour, to women, to gay people, etc. I know if I saw a black man and a white man walking towards me on a dark street, I would feel afraid of the white man only.

That's really fucking offensive. And what on Earth has being straight got to do with the subject of the thread? You think gay people can't be racist?

Gladysknightjustwalkinmyshoes · 09/09/2025 19:10

LittleDeeAndME · 09/09/2025 08:33

I really feel for you OP, this country has changed under the current government, and the opinions of Tommy, and Farage.
I am white, and am embarrassed on how so many previously non-racists are jumping on the bandwagon of painting and flying England flags.
The truth needs to be spoken about more in respect of how much immigration has helped this country become the wonderfully diverse place it is.
Things must change - but I am fearful they won't.

We cannot lose hope that these flag flying fools are the minority not the majority.
Nothing says patriot more than tying a nylon flag made in China round the neck.
Patriot..more like.. idiot.

JHound · 13/09/2025 13:55

As many of my family members as possible are seriously working on their escape plan out of the UK. I am currently trying to acquire my third passport.

I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say being in Europe now I have a sense of what it felt like in the 1930s. And what’s worrying ia seeing more and more young people embrace racism and xenohobia. So it’s not like you can wait for a racist generation to die off.

JHound · 13/09/2025 14:03

I did find coming off social media helped immensely.

Gladysknightjustwalkinmyshoes · 13/09/2025 14:10

JHound · 13/09/2025 14:03

I did find coming off social media helped immensely.

I'm only on this,I hate to think how many thread's I've hidden.

Swipe left for the next trending thread