Effect on mental health on being only POC at work

[Latenightdrive]

have had many conversations with my friends about this ever since I have been in my corp role many of my friends are struggling in the same way. We are a directorate of 140 and I am the only POC I have really struggled to fit in. I have tried to not let it bother me but I have hit the end of the road and plan to hand my notice in this week. When I do go into the office no one really speaks to me and I do feel ignored.

Do you think I would be unreasonable to highlight this in my resignation letter as this is one of the reasons?

I think it's unlikely that people don't speak to you because you're a POC.
What happens if you engage your colleagues in conversation?

I don’t think that is the reason why they don’t talk to me. I work with a very uncultured team they are all friends on the outside and don’t seem to have friends that are POC. I’m not sure whether they are just not use to being around black people? I can say bye on the way out and no one will respond. It is little things.

Are you suggesting they don't speak to you because you aren't white?

How long have you worked there? What effort have you made with your colleagues?

Have an honest think before you resign.

I work in a very white dominated office. Lots of people have worked for the firm for 20 years plus. The "old guard" are very clicky and don't welcome "newer" staff members. We are seen as an inconvenience.

How sure are you it isn't just people not Welcoming newer people?

I have thought long and hard about it all week. There was 3 of us that joined together over a year ago. The other two ladies seem to have fitted in well but they fit the (aesthetic) and fitted in well to the click.

I wish certain MNers would read the board info before adding their two pence. If you have no experience of being a POC in the white workplace, just don’t comment.

OP, you should absolutely highlight it. Likelihood is they won’t pay a bit of attention, but at least you’ll have said your piece.

I thought it was a valid question

That must be really hard @Latenightdrive. I guess it's difficult to prove that it is because you're a POC, but it would suggest that at least in part there is some traction.

Are you planning to cite the behaviour as part of your reason for resigning?

Which poster wasn’t a POC?

And how on earth would you be able to tell anyway if they didn't disclose it?

If you are referring to me, the point I was trying to make is that it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with colour and often is down to people not liking change and being shitty with anyone new.

OP maybe ask MN to remove from active because you'll get a lot of white folk denying your very valid experience.

I would highlight it, what's your industry/role?

HR

That's even more concerning, definitely raise it, have you concerned the public sector?
also give this podcast a listen, they're Black hr professionals (shared Spotify and YT link but think they're on all platforms)
https://open.spotify.com/show/3esmFOiprb0BRQI7UtDjts?si=1SUsOqnLTVi1FELEe1n8Mg

https://youtube.com/@everybodyhateshr2507?si=Lw2d8bSpWUnxVbFL

Oh fgs it's not about this as a Black woman it's hard being the only poc in your team when racial things happen in the news and you go into work and everyone is laughing about it, it's hard. It's about relatability

thanks! I do follow them on tik tok I assume they are Londoners so probably don’t have the same struggles I do! I am currently in a public sector role.

Don’t be so silly

They are but a lot of their content is universal tbh I'm a northerner living in London and my work experiences of being the only Black womans are pretty similar. Don't discount them, listeners write in from all over!

I want to say that HR should make it significantly less likely to be a racial reason behind their lack of engagement with you. However, my experience or some HR people means I am not surprised.

@Latenightdrive a couple of us have asked what you have done to try and engage with your colleagues but you haven't answered.

I am not for a second trying to suggest your gut instinct isn't the right one, but is it possible that you have inadvertently been a bit standoffish because you are the only POC in the office? Is is at all possible subconsciously up have pushed people away because you have expected to be sidelined?

Yes I’d mention it probably. I had the same in my very toxic all white office when I was younger, I’d worked in all
white teams before and it was fine actually but this team was clearly all-racist 😆

thankfully the team we worked with downstairs had POC in it . I used to literally plonk myself downstairs and have a chat with them then two POC joined my team upstairs and we all became friends too.

I’m still friends with a few of them to this day. They were absolute gems.

I know what you’re talking about with the people ignoring you when you enter etc. my team were basically quite blatant , excluding me from work drinks etc. there was an incident where a woman sat next to me
used a racial slur while telling a story when she didn’t have to say the slur out in full.

I told my white manager how I felt when I was leaving, and she became super defensive, trying to victim blame and asking why I didn’t say anything earlier - thus confirming why I never raised it earlier.

So I decided to double down and raised a grievance - took it to the top! 😄And later ACAS negotiated the settlement. Most importantly for me was the admission of racism the workplace gave when they upheld my grievance though. If they’d done that from the start I wouldn’t even have claimed compensation. I just done that to make them pay for the additional stress they gave me. Literally pay.

I'm white FYI but this post really raises my hackles. The OP is inadvertently standoffish as the only POC? Seriously? Wow.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Awful.

I'd certainly be chatting to you if I worked there.

I was married to an African and have a now grown-up son. I have many black, Arab etc. friends. I see them as people.

Oh do give it a rest. You are deliberately twisting what inhave written.

I asked if it was possible as HR should be better than this, although I am aware there are a lot who are not.

But a HR team will double down if an accusation is made regardless of whether it is justified, so yes o am asking if it is possible that without meaning to the OP has been standoffish with people.

Im with you op. As the only brown person in my wider team I really noticed the difference when i was in a more diverse office.
I too noticed white people being accepted and integrated faster than I was.
i would raise it.

I thought I’d missed something in one of the posts.