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Original poster

Headscarves for toddlers?

73 replies

MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:12

In case this comes up on Trending or Active, this is the Black MNetters board and I’m actively looking for opinions from Black women only!

Hey all,

This is currently my 2 year olds hairstyle which I did only yesterday. I’m keen to know what headscarves you guys use on your children as mine won’t keep one on? I’ve tried a normal headscarf and a wig gap and she always pulls it off.

I haven’t tried a bonnet because I don’t want her to pull it down her face in an attempt to get it off in the middle of the night. My daughters hair will literally last roughly 3/4 days before it starts getting messy again. She hates getting her hair done anyway so that just makes my life 10x harder.

Anyone have any great suggestions? I’d even be grateful if there was some sort of head wrap out there with an animated character on it (preferably Peppa Pig😅). Thank you:)

Headscarves for toddlers?
OP posts:
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Original poster
MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:23

@IslaWinds thank you for your comment! Can I ask how old your child is? Do they never pull the bonnet down their face because I know mine would

OP posts:
JamSandle · 25/09/2023 21:28

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ImperialLeather00 · 25/09/2023 21:31

As a black woman who has been wearing head ties at night (for my whole life it seems) I share your frustration!! With our little girl we didn’t use any head scarf or head tie at that age for reasons you mentioned above.
I gave her the freedom until she was older as once she starts wearing them she will as we all know wear for life.
I did and still do her hair every Sunday and agree after 4 days it did look messy but I knew the weekend was soon here where we would wash and redo.
We waited until she was about 6 and now she uses a bonnet, if she misplaces that it’s tights or one of my head scarves!
She is now 8 and no problems with it.
I hope someone else has better advise but that what’s worked for us.

Original poster
MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:32

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Because I have a daughter who has 4C hair. What is a non Black woman going to tell me about protecting thick, 4C style hair? I obviously want to hear experiences from other BLACK women who use a hair covering for their child that works? Do you even know what 4C hair is without going on Google? I doubt it.

We always get these comments on this board and it’s extremely unnecessary. Just use your common sense, it’s not hard to figure out

OP posts:
IslaWinds · 25/09/2023 21:34

MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:23

@IslaWinds thank you for your comment! Can I ask how old your child is? Do they never pull the bonnet down their face because I know mine would

I have a 9yr old and 18yr old. I’ve always used this style though since they were toddlers because the wide band is more comfortable and feels like a hair wrap.

They also can use it when their hair is taking a break from braids or corn rows and they have their hair natural as the bonnet style is roomy enough and stops static and tangling. As you know, you have to take a week or so off between braid styles to prevent TA (traction alopecia) and let them be free curly girls.

Original poster
MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:36

ImperialLeather00 · 25/09/2023 21:31

As a black woman who has been wearing head ties at night (for my whole life it seems) I share your frustration!! With our little girl we didn’t use any head scarf or head tie at that age for reasons you mentioned above.
I gave her the freedom until she was older as once she starts wearing them she will as we all know wear for life.
I did and still do her hair every Sunday and agree after 4 days it did look messy but I knew the weekend was soon here where we would wash and redo.
We waited until she was about 6 and now she uses a bonnet, if she misplaces that it’s tights or one of my head scarves!
She is now 8 and no problems with it.
I hope someone else has better advise but that what’s worked for us.

Oh no so basically I’m doomed until she’s in primary school?!!! Yes, you’re absolutely right😂 I remember being a child and wearing tights on my head until I was allowed to upgrade to a proper headscarf.

Tbf I don’t mind her hair getting messy but she continuously rolls around the floor in the house so she always has fluff in her hair. I can only wash her hair every two weeks because she screams the house down. It seems like I may just have to let it be. I’m glad to hear your daughter just goes with the flow now, I think you’ve gone about it the right way.

I really wouldn’t want DD to have negative thoughts about her hair because she was forced to wear a headscarf when younger

OP posts:
Original poster
MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:39

IslaWinds · 25/09/2023 21:34

I have a 9yr old and 18yr old. I’ve always used this style though since they were toddlers because the wide band is more comfortable and feels like a hair wrap.

They also can use it when their hair is taking a break from braids or corn rows and they have their hair natural as the bonnet style is roomy enough and stops static and tangling. As you know, you have to take a week or so off between braid styles to prevent TA (traction alopecia) and let them be free curly girls.

Show quote history

Thank you!

My DD has such tight curls that I never leave it out. I did that a few months ago and I swear her hair was starting to lock. It was so dry and so matted, it was also tangled. I don’t know what I was doing wrong but her hairstyle (just like mine) won’t allow me to do that

OP posts:
FallingAutumnLeaf · 25/09/2023 21:49

I'm one of the people you've asked not to comment, but if covering the hair is currently problematic, does she sleep on a pillow most of the time, and would a silk/satin pillow case provide a small amount of protection?

IslaWinds · 25/09/2023 21:51

MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 21:39

Thank you!

My DD has such tight curls that I never leave it out. I did that a few months ago and I swear her hair was starting to lock. It was so dry and so matted, it was also tangled. I don’t know what I was doing wrong but her hairstyle (just like mine) won’t allow me to do that

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Have you tried hair oil when you leave your hair natural? Favourite oils here are Jamaican black castor oil, almond oil, argan oil or Shea butter oil. They do make hair products for African hair with these oils that have add ins like vanilla, coconut or lavender to make your hair smell lovely as well as strengthen and moisturise it.

Marblessolveeverything · 25/09/2023 21:55

Full disclosure, I am not black but in our family is a little one who had similar issue, hair is also 4C.

We bought every wrap, bonnet etc we could find. In desperation we bought silk pillows as the little one wouldn't tolerate any wrap. Would that be helpful at all?

Original poster
MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 22:03

IslaWinds · 25/09/2023 21:51

Have you tried hair oil when you leave your hair natural? Favourite oils here are Jamaican black castor oil, almond oil, argan oil or Shea butter oil. They do make hair products for African hair with these oils that have add ins like vanilla, coconut or lavender to make your hair smell lovely as well as strengthen and moisturise it.

Show quote history

Oh yeah for me it’s no problem. I only use shea butter and my hair is natural 90% of the time! I wear braids sometimes but I’m too lazy to go to the hairdressers to get it done! I’ve included a pic of my hair to show how much shea butter has helped my growth.

When it comes to DD now, I literally cannot put her hair in bunches for the life of me. She’ll constantly pull out her hairbands and leaving it in an afro is a complete no no. I know your kids are a bit bigger now but if there’s any styles that you can suggest I do when giving her hair a break from cainrows, PLS let me know

Headscarves for toddlers?
OP posts:
debbrianna · 25/09/2023 22:28

This is for anyone. Cut up your old tights and use it. Tie the ends together. They make better headcaps. It's even better if you have braids.

DM29 · 25/09/2023 22:40

Hi, I’m a black mum of 2, my daughter is 6 years old and I also would recommend the bonnet posted earlier. My DD has used a bonnet from 3 years and she has never pulled it over her face in the night.
Her hair is cane row during the week and the bonnet helps to keep the moisture in. She’s never had a negative view of it. There are so many stories with little black girls and hair. Also, JoJo and Gran Gran on tv had a couple of episodes of jojo with a bonnet!
I try to take good care of my DDs hair now and get her used to the process. They will thank us later!!!

I have a 2 year old boy who still has a full head of curly hair as we are yet to cut it and for him I just use a silk pillow case.

Nodeepdiving · 25/09/2023 22:46

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I'm not black, but really? It's so obvious why OP has said this that it begs the question whether you're being deliberately obtuse or an outright goady **er.

IslaWinds · 26/09/2023 08:34

MinnieTruck · 25/09/2023 22:03

Oh yeah for me it’s no problem. I only use shea butter and my hair is natural 90% of the time! I wear braids sometimes but I’m too lazy to go to the hairdressers to get it done! I’ve included a pic of my hair to show how much shea butter has helped my growth.

When it comes to DD now, I literally cannot put her hair in bunches for the life of me. She’ll constantly pull out her hairbands and leaving it in an afro is a complete no no. I know your kids are a bit bigger now but if there’s any styles that you can suggest I do when giving her hair a break from cainrows, PLS let me know

Show quote history

You have beautiful hair. Similarly, I don’t have the time to go to the hairdressers so my hair is almost always natural. I tend to chop it off so it’s super short, let it grow out and repeat.

Has your DD said why she doesn’t like her hair natural?
I have had issues with teachers and bullies at school that affected my DDs and made them anxious about wearing hair any way other than in braids or tight slicked back buns- could that be a reason?
Does she have sensory issues where it feels uncomfortable?
Is she worried it will get messy/dirty when she plays and then she will need to have it washed more often?

You could experiment with different hair bands for day time wear see what she thinks?

Headscarves for toddlers?
IslaWinds · 26/09/2023 08:35

Oh sorry, it’s morning and I momentarily forgot your DD is only 2! Skip the school question.

Original poster
MinnieTruck · 26/09/2023 09:05

DM29 · 25/09/2023 22:40

Hi, I’m a black mum of 2, my daughter is 6 years old and I also would recommend the bonnet posted earlier. My DD has used a bonnet from 3 years and she has never pulled it over her face in the night.
Her hair is cane row during the week and the bonnet helps to keep the moisture in. She’s never had a negative view of it. There are so many stories with little black girls and hair. Also, JoJo and Gran Gran on tv had a couple of episodes of jojo with a bonnet!
I try to take good care of my DDs hair now and get her used to the process. They will thank us later!!!

I have a 2 year old boy who still has a full head of curly hair as we are yet to cut it and for him I just use a silk pillow case.

Thank you! DD would defo pull the bonnet off so I won’t even give that a try. I may wait until she’s a little bit older. You say her hair is in cainrows during the week, how is her hair during the weekends?

OP posts:
Original poster
MinnieTruck · 26/09/2023 09:09

IslaWinds · 26/09/2023 08:34

You have beautiful hair. Similarly, I don’t have the time to go to the hairdressers so my hair is almost always natural. I tend to chop it off so it’s super short, let it grow out and repeat.

Has your DD said why she doesn’t like her hair natural?
I have had issues with teachers and bullies at school that affected my DDs and made them anxious about wearing hair any way other than in braids or tight slicked back buns- could that be a reason?
Does she have sensory issues where it feels uncomfortable?
Is she worried it will get messy/dirty when she plays and then she will need to have it washed more often?

You could experiment with different hair bands for day time wear see what she thinks?

Show quote history

Thanks so much🥰 I’ve been wanting to do a big chop but I’m too scared haha.

DD is non verbal so no chance of her communicating verbally. When you mention the word natural, I feel as if I’m misunderstanding you. In the OP, that’s all of DD’s hair, no added Expressions or anything like that. Her hair is always plaited or in cainrows because I find it easier to manage and maintain.

If by natural, you mean having her hair in hairbands and bunches or potentially even an afro, I don’t do those styles as they really don’t last with DD! It’d probably last half a day as she always pulls hairbands out and rolls around.

It’s definitely a sensory issue as I have to fight her to even wear a sunhat lol. I may try headbands but again, she’s so funny with things. I sound so negative but thank you for the help! I’ll play around with some of the things mentioned

OP posts:
Starseeking · 26/09/2023 20:48

My DC although older than yours, absolutely loves Gracie's Corner. If you've not seen it before they have great affirmations for Black DC, they even have one song called "I love my hair", which my non-verbal 6 year old happily sings all day lol

Starseeking · 26/09/2023 21:09

I tend to do the style at the bottom left of my first picture a lot for my DC who has 4C hair, the style is a lot quicker and easier than it looks. Following washing and conditioning, I section the hair into about 8-10 separate areas, then put a leave-in conditioner.

I usually do this after my weekly wash of DC's hair, and use a hairbrush dryer on the lowest setting to help maintain its softness. I recommend this OP, as her hair shouldn't be painful as you describe.

This is my DC hair before washing, so you can see it really is quite thick and strong, but going through the above process weekly means it doesn't get locked and is soft to touch.

I haven't tried the bonnet yet, as DC has sensory issues, however going to buy the one above to see if I get results as DC's hair does start to look messy after 4-5 days of the new style.

Headscarves for toddlers?
Headscarves for toddlers?
Headscarves for toddlers?
tempusernamexyz · 26/09/2023 21:11

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Starseeking · 26/09/2023 21:14

IslaWinds · 25/09/2023 21:18

This link didn't work for me, do you have another, please?

Original poster
MinnieTruck · 26/09/2023 21:16

@Starseeking JoJo & GranGran is amazing but my child always gives me the remote to change it back to Peppa Pig🫣

Thanks so much for your comments. See, now this is another thing. She’s 2 and I’ve never used a blow dryer with her hair! It dawned on me last week that I probably should use one even if it’s on a low heat. I’m going to buy one but I know she’ll hate it as she doesn’t even like the shower head or anything hoovering around her head.

Just so I’ve got it right, you wash and condition her hair and then you put it into the style at the bottom left. How long do you leave the leave in conditioner for, does it need to be washed out again? I’m actually quite clueless when it comes to hair, it’s so bad and I don’t want to damage her hair. Thanks so much for your help

OP posts:
MrsRetriever · 26/09/2023 21:21

Ooh, I’ve found the goady fucker