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Black kids at private school

126 replies

QuickQuestionQueen · 07/03/2022 20:59

I'm considering sending my 2 DCs to a private school in Sept, but I have some doubts whether or not I'm making the right decision. I would be interested to hear of other black parents' experiences.

The area we live in is mainly white, so local state and private schools have a small percentage of children belonging to an ethnic minority.
Both DCs attend good state schools at the moment. Although they've both done well so far there have been several issues over the years - unnecessary storms in teacups (not of my children’s making). I'd say usually their race appeared to be the underlying issue (sometimes by insinuation, once or twice quite blatantly).

The private school seems to offer more academic support, and many, many valuable opportunities in sports and the arts. One of my DCs has been offered 2 scholarships if they attend. Apparently, I've been told by a member of staff, this is an incredibly rare offer for this private school to make. For information - my DC has not been acknowledged for their ability in these subject areas at the current state school.

So my question is, what can I expect if we go private? More chance of racism? Would I be naive to think it would be any other way? But why should my kids miss out on opportunities because of their colour? Also, I'm mindful that we would be at the lower end of the income bracket. I have so many ifs and buts running round my head and am driving myself crazy 🤯
Please - I could really do with hearing the perspectives of others.
TIA 🙏🏾

OP posts:
mayberelevant · 28/03/2022 12:09

@TottersBlankly I understand your point completely.
I can only speak for the school my dcs attend but the school is so very hot on inclusiveness a lot of care taken to ensure no minority group is discriminated against, and that doesn't refer only to race. I think looking at policies helps, even if it is not a definitive guide. You can also get a feel for a school on open days, and through speaking to other parents. I wish you luck OP and I hope you find the school a kind inclusive place.

My one caution about private senior schools, is the very academic pushy ones can be awful for bullying. Whereas race as a protected characteristic is a priority for schools, bullying is not. There is a certain level of denial that nice middle class academic kids bully. The reality is they do and they can be poisonous. Targets are usually very shy clever dcs, or shy pretty ones. The shyness is key, bullies target those they see as weak.

Jamdown123 · 28/03/2022 14:06

Yes, I might be wrong.

I don't see it though. Lots of Black people my age are really pushing through now making partner at law, firms, banks, consultancies (if that's where you want your children to go) and certainly universities (if oxbridge and Russell group are where you want your children to go) .

I did attend oxbridge myself, and then worked in financial markets, the young black people I knew who went to private school where they were in the small minority generally had a lot of identity and self-issues, and still do and they haven't gone any further or done any better than us, same house, same car, same holidays, I haven't seen their bank accounts so yeah, maybe it towers over mine :p I will say most if not all married and had children with white partners and race has been an issue in the dissolution of those relationships. I think there was a lot of learning about white being the better catch at a time when that was very impacting (school years) and they have now unlearned that. But of course when the hot girl and boy were white because the whole school was....

I do think private school can work very well for white people because they can pass for a true type of middle class very easily. Our blackness will always demarcate us and racism will potentially limit us the way class can be shaken off by white people.

Where privately educated black people have 'dominated' I'd like to consider the other factors at play, and those would be parents and money for the large part.

To my other point. I had a fantastic time from say age 15-30, certainly 15-23, and 15-19 was supreme. I really didnt see many black private school girls with their white private school friends where we were having our great time together, in garage raves, at carnival, at ayia napa. I have met them at uni and since and it's been sad to hear about their childhood experiences. So I do stand by what I've said. They are exceptions like virgo fidelis for example (but that had lots of black girls there and is not the type of private school we are talking about here). Linked to this, my frievds son was offered St Paul's and City last year but they took Dulwich particularly due to the ethnic question. Dulwich is by no means a top boys private school. If you were talking about Dulwich, I'd say, yeah, go for it.

Private school in general is not that ticket for black people, but by all means, do what's best for yours as you think about the life you can offer them in the round. If you send them to a private school where they are one of a handful black boys, if that, but you send them to the Gambia every school holiday abd/or you live in Streatham and send them to extra curricular activities there, it's a very different question.

But does private school give us that edge. I'm afraid for the most part I don't think so. Saying that, as gangs have been mentioned above (should it have been?) I'd definitely risk self-esteem issues over being knifed or shot. So really depends on your/dcs circumstances.

cheekyduck · 28/03/2022 14:53

@Jamdown123

Yes, I might be wrong.

I don't see it though. Lots of Black people my age are really pushing through now making partner at law, firms, banks, consultancies (if that's where you want your children to go) and certainly universities (if oxbridge and Russell group are where you want your children to go) .

I did attend oxbridge myself, and then worked in financial markets, the young black people I knew who went to private school where they were in the small minority generally had a lot of identity and self-issues, and still do and they haven't gone any further or done any better than us, same house, same car, same holidays, I haven't seen their bank accounts so yeah, maybe it towers over mine :p I will say most if not all married and had children with white partners and race has been an issue in the dissolution of those relationships. I think there was a lot of learning about white being the better catch at a time when that was very impacting (school years) and they have now unlearned that. But of course when the hot girl and boy were white because the whole school was....

I do think private school can work very well for white people because they can pass for a true type of middle class very easily. Our blackness will always demarcate us and racism will potentially limit us the way class can be shaken off by white people.

Where privately educated black people have 'dominated' I'd like to consider the other factors at play, and those would be parents and money for the large part.

To my other point. I had a fantastic time from say age 15-30, certainly 15-23, and 15-19 was supreme. I really didnt see many black private school girls with their white private school friends where we were having our great time together, in garage raves, at carnival, at ayia napa. I have met them at uni and since and it's been sad to hear about their childhood experiences. So I do stand by what I've said. They are exceptions like virgo fidelis for example (but that had lots of black girls there and is not the type of private school we are talking about here). Linked to this, my frievds son was offered St Paul's and City last year but they took Dulwich particularly due to the ethnic question. Dulwich is by no means a top boys private school. If you were talking about Dulwich, I'd say, yeah, go for it.

Private school in general is not that ticket for black people, but by all means, do what's best for yours as you think about the life you can offer them in the round. If you send them to a private school where they are one of a handful black boys, if that, but you send them to the Gambia every school holiday abd/or you live in Streatham and send them to extra curricular activities there, it's a very different question.

But does private school give us that edge. I'm afraid for the most part I don't think so. Saying that, as gangs have been mentioned above (should it have been?) I'd definitely risk self-esteem issues over being knifed or shot. So really depends on your/dcs circumstances.

I find it odd you think race trumps class, yet you yourself attended a elite university ( I presume from a state school?) You got to the top without the help of a private school, that leg up.

The Sutton Trust says pupils from eight schools filled 1,310 Oxbridge places over three years, compared with 1,220 from 2,900 other schools. Of those 8 schools, 6 are private.

Where you say - I do think private school can work very well for white people because they can pass for a true type of middle class very easily. Our blackness will always demarcate us and racism will potentially limit us the way class can be shaken off by white people.

That says more about your own personal belief reference than it does about reality. The black Etonian whose parents are university educated will easily pass between the elites who run this country , with much more ease than a state educated white person whose parents are council estate, class dominates , because it is the bedrock of what this country is built on, just as America was built on race.

You said you were at Oxbridge, so you must have seen this first hand, class cuts across race every time. My brother was a Oxford and coming from a working class family was far more a burden than his skin. I appreciate within your own experience you've seen black privately educated people confused , value white over black, etc, but I've seen plenty of black people that hate themselves who attend black majority state schools.

You can't make sweeping statements like 'Private school in general is not that ticket for black people' because there is no sweeping generalization of black people. There are African students at boarding schools in England whose Grandfathers attended the same school, who have a very solid idea of their blackness and culture. Just the same, marrying white doesn't denote you have a low opinion of your culture, that's just bullshit.

The 'edge' of private schools is simply better exam results, and expanded learning, more cultural trips, debating, sport, than a state school can offer. Plenty of white pupils who leave the best private schools in England and amount to nothing , black pupils have this advantage but take two steps back from institutional racism both within the school and outside it, but note how many of the black privately educated within your social circle who are on benefits, dealing, working in dead end jobs? Not many I suspect.

While you can make a success of your life without private school, it's foolish to think a black person has no benefit from attending the top performing schools in the country ( that are all private schools).

Gonnagetgoing · 28/03/2022 15:20

@Jamdown123

Yes, I might be wrong.

I don't see it though. Lots of Black people my age are really pushing through now making partner at law, firms, banks, consultancies (if that's where you want your children to go) and certainly universities (if oxbridge and Russell group are where you want your children to go) .

I did attend oxbridge myself, and then worked in financial markets, the young black people I knew who went to private school where they were in the small minority generally had a lot of identity and self-issues, and still do and they haven't gone any further or done any better than us, same house, same car, same holidays, I haven't seen their bank accounts so yeah, maybe it towers over mine :p I will say most if not all married and had children with white partners and race has been an issue in the dissolution of those relationships. I think there was a lot of learning about white being the better catch at a time when that was very impacting (school years) and they have now unlearned that. But of course when the hot girl and boy were white because the whole school was....

I do think private school can work very well for white people because they can pass for a true type of middle class very easily. Our blackness will always demarcate us and racism will potentially limit us the way class can be shaken off by white people.

Where privately educated black people have 'dominated' I'd like to consider the other factors at play, and those would be parents and money for the large part.

To my other point. I had a fantastic time from say age 15-30, certainly 15-23, and 15-19 was supreme. I really didnt see many black private school girls with their white private school friends where we were having our great time together, in garage raves, at carnival, at ayia napa. I have met them at uni and since and it's been sad to hear about their childhood experiences. So I do stand by what I've said. They are exceptions like virgo fidelis for example (but that had lots of black girls there and is not the type of private school we are talking about here). Linked to this, my frievds son was offered St Paul's and City last year but they took Dulwich particularly due to the ethnic question. Dulwich is by no means a top boys private school. If you were talking about Dulwich, I'd say, yeah, go for it.

Private school in general is not that ticket for black people, but by all means, do what's best for yours as you think about the life you can offer them in the round. If you send them to a private school where they are one of a handful black boys, if that, but you send them to the Gambia every school holiday abd/or you live in Streatham and send them to extra curricular activities there, it's a very different question.

But does private school give us that edge. I'm afraid for the most part I don't think so. Saying that, as gangs have been mentioned above (should it have been?) I'd definitely risk self-esteem issues over being knifed or shot. So really depends on your/dcs circumstances.

@Jamdown123 - interesting what you say about Virgo Fidelis.

I went there as a teenager. A few years back mind you. What 'type' of school is it or was it to you? It was a normal private convent which accepted girls who were black, brown, lots of religions and races as well as white girls, like me - it may have been on the cheaper side of fees but certainly the same fees as e.g. Sydenham Girls or Streatham and Clapham Girls. The black and white girls mixed outside of school and inside school and went clubbing together etc.

I have a friend who went to St Paul's Girls at a similar time - she's half Barbadian (Bajan) and mixed with black and white girls and boys outside school. Another friend a few years later (now 30) went to Streatham and Clapham High School and is half Jamaican and she told me she mixed with black and white girls and boys outside of school.

I, myself, have been to carnival and other events like Ibiza, clubbing etc several times with black friends who were privately educated (boarding school) here.

I agree with you to an extent about Dulwich College which is considered to be a reasonable boys private school in the area. Yes, you can go to similar boys schools like Tonbridge which is rated very highly or e.g. Oundle etc but on the whole they're boarding. Not sure if Dulwich is boarding.

nottodaybatman · 28/03/2022 16:59

In my industry and black professional networks all the millennial aged black people went to private school / grammar + Russell group universities. I have not seen this influx of confident black state school educated cohort. The private school confidence really is a thing and you see it when interviewing graduates.

Regarding dating, if it is single sex, it really is less of an issue because only a minority of the girls actually dated anyone and again it was someone known only to their grouping. And having been the one that didn't get asked on dates at school, I did once at an equally white University, I was fine and otherwise socially popular and I would say far more resilient than some of those peaked in secondary school girls, once out in the world.

I am not sure I would trade my confidence grades, network for a boyfriend when I was 15. When I was at my single sex school, boys were absolutely discussed etc but dating and having a boyfriend did not determine popularity on the day to day.

nottodaybatman · 28/03/2022 17:26

Also massively entertained by all these privately educated black people with failed relationships, identity issues etc marauding around banks and law firms etc. There are miserable people in these industries because its hardcore, stressful and unrelenting. And as one of the black people in these industries I am hugely supportive of anyone black who is working in these industries, getting it done. It would not occur to me that a stressed out peer who confided in me they had a failing relationship and general problems was evidence of evils of private education.

We will always be in our skin and our parents' children no matter where we study and who we marry. But I would always aim to give my child the best possible education and for me and mine that would be a private academic education. I do not buy that private education with all its benefits is not for black people and serves no purpose and actively harms them. I would caveat - where you live and where the school is matters. I think private schools in very rural white areas are not the same as London or some other city for a black child.

Jamdown123 · 28/03/2022 22:00

I didn't make sweeping generalisations about black people, I made them about private schools, privilege and class as it intersects with race/ethnicity.

I also didn't say black children at private school did badly in the employed job market. I did say black people from state schools were doing well. I stand by that. I did also talk about the outcomes of Black children at schools where they are in the tiny minority in teens if emotional wellbeing, and by necessity private schools are places where people who have a 'better than' type of outlook are drawn to, so I do believe that mix can be toxic and I've observed it with great sadness.

Anyway, like I say, do send your children to private schools where they are the only or one of the very few black children if you so wish because it's right for your family. May many blessings be bestowed upon you all and your families, I'm all for the success of black children who are raised to have positive regard for black people and their cultures.

Jamdown123 · 28/03/2022 22:10

Oh, just seen the comment about swapping grades for boyfriends. That would be heartbreaking, though many females truncate their life's potential for partnership with males. That being acknowledged I never talked about having a boyfriend as a meaningful thing. I'm not sure I talked about having a boyfriend at all, or did I? It's not a topic I think about much, so it seems unlikely. I did talk about how continually being overlooked for white girls or simply being invisible in teenage years could have very negative consequences for self-esteem (for straight girls).

OK thanks, I'll let you all crack on.

Maggiethecat · 28/03/2022 22:51

I’m guessing there may be little differential in achievement between private/state school black kids who go on to Oxbridge, RG unis.

However if these institutions are the gateway to lucrative jobs we must consider the chances of getting into them and statistically they’re more likely to do so if PS educated.

Kudos to the state school kids who do get in especially without the benefit of the academic preparation and support that PS can offer.

But we should be under no delusions about what PS can offer black kids.

nottodaybatman · 29/03/2022 00:37

Take the scholarship, if it isn't the right fit for your DC you can take them back to the state sector. And to some extent because you are so alert to potential issues with racism you can intervene immediately. Your DC will know that you will believe them and protect them

Puberty is brutal and kids can struggle in any setting. While anecdotes are helpful, each PS and child is different. But a 90% scholarship is brilliant (well done your DC) and worth seizing with both hands.

Soma · 29/03/2022 17:02

OP, hope you were able to make a decision that works for you all. As @nottodaybatman said, if you or your children hate the school (give it at least two terms) you can always try for another independent or state school.

If anyone is any doubt about the state system and Black children take a look at this documentary - Subnormal : A British Scandal - www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000w81h
Black children may not be sent to these types of schools anymore, but they appear to be over represented in pupil referral units.

A friend of mine was told by her son's teacher that she hated him for asking too many questions. Her Black son was at a state primary school, the teacher realised her mistake and tried to backtrack. At the dozens of independent schools I know, curiosity would have been encouraged and celebrated. Her son went onto a well regarded boys state school and was constantly told to stay in his lane. I want my DC to kick the lane out of their way and be whatever they want to be.

NoHayDosSinTres · 29/03/2022 17:10

Sorry if I am intruding on this forum, but I wanted to add my tuppence worth.

Both my DC go to a private school. They are now both teens and their group of friends are really diverse. I'm not sure if being in a city centre helps. My eldest's friends are a mixture of religions and races, including many children whose parents are expats here from overseas from such places as the Middle East and Africa. It is the same with my youngest.

As far as I can see the DC really don't care where someone is from, their religion or race. This is just an adult thing.

Go for it.

kinshasa · 29/03/2022 19:43

I know people to whom that programme relates Soma .

These days it's marvellous to be able to look in on here and listen to other black women's thoughts on education for their own children. You are incredible women. I hope that you all realise what amazing and inspiring mothers you are. X

BusyBeatle · 30/03/2022 21:44

I really don’t think not being the girl that all the guys fancy in school is that big a deal and really don’t think it has such a massive impact on your self esteem. It’s certainly not an issue that is specific to private schools. I am black, grew up in NW London. Went to a very white state school, that had a total of about 50 ethnic minorities between year 7 - year 11. You had the pretty girls (yes they were mostly white), you had the ‘hard girls’, popular girls and then you had everyone else. I certainly got my share of attention. I am very aware of the fact that not everyone will find me attractive and I am fine with that. All black men certainly don’t find me attractive. My self worth was never been tied to whether or not others found me attractive, I think that’s quite a dangerous place to be and would hope my husband and I will have instilled enough self confidence for that to not be an issue with our daughter.

Hopefully you make up your mind OP. We can slate private schools as much as we want but let’s face it, they do yield better results. My son starts private school in September. I find myself dreading saying what school he’ll be attending because I am so over negative comments, coming mostly from people who would put their kids in a private school if they could.

Jamdown123 · 31/03/2022 10:35

It's really quite human to be concerned about what others think of us, it's key to being a social species. In the adolescent years it's very often tied to what one looks like.

My comments have been misrepresented here time and again. I haven't said half the things people have responded to. I can live with it. But I have been surprised at the anti-state sentiment on here such as referencing a documentary about state schools in the 60s and 70s without reference to black experiences at private school at that time.

But look, I'm not a great believer in institutionalised education partly because there's institutional racism in every institution. However, I don't think I ever said state schools had no racism (unlike the comments by some posters on here about private schools which strikes me as very unlikely, to be gentle).

I stand by my comments. Sending a black child to a UK school where there are very very few black children can harm their emotional wellbeing. If it is a school where there is a large class bias towards elitism, I would personally be concerned. Many private schools tick the box here, but not all, as I have clearly written upthread.

I believe the presumed positive impact of private school on life outcomes is attenuated by race / ethnicity and that colour continues to matter in a private school context (or any UK context). I was sad to hear about the man who considered his ethnicity and class to be burdens. I was interested to hear that going to Oxbridge gave me a leg up (it definitely gave me a headache). And the admittedly above average salary corporate life (which I achieved after inadvertently attending a milk round another university) was almost completely soul-destroying, so I don't hold those things in high regard, instead I think very critically about them. Maybe if I'd attended a private school where white privileged men also went I would have fared better in those environments in later life? Maybe. But would that have been because I was used to it? Raised with it? Learned to live with hostility from a young age? I'm pretty glad I wasn't! I believe Anthony Joshua went to my Saturday school (my sister mentioned this, I was older than them) and a boy in my high school is now a very big Hollywood actor.

I can name many black state educated people doing well in sports, media, politics, business, academia. It feels sad that they've been overlooked.

I think a lot of Black privately educated young people would do just as well at state schools because the factors that matter are also parenting, family culture, affluence, access to tutoring etc. Some kids will need a small (mostly white) private school to flourish, others like me would have imploded there and people like me do exist, I'm by no means the only one, your child might be one (!!!!!) I have lots of friends who went to private school in deep Kent etc and they were miserable. Miserable in childhood. That's so heartbreaking.

I honestly didn't think much of what I wrote was controversial. But I love avd learn.

Soma · 31/03/2022 13:50

@Jamdown123 apologies, I didn't intend to make you feel under attack. This should be a safe space.
I agree, there are lots of good state schools with good and inspirational teachers. Many of my friends and family were the product of these schools in London during the 80s, 90s & early 2000s. What I find sad is that when some areas become gentrified and people are priced out of independents and they select state schools instead, problems can arise. I'm looking at Graveney School in Tooting here. Once very inclusive, with pupils who went on to do some fantastic things. Now they effectively have a grammar stream which appears to be disproportionately populated by white pupils and the bottom stream disproportionately populated by Black pupils.

I linked to the BBC documentary because it was only aired a few months ago and I attended a fantastic Zoom event about it hosted by WomenVue, and unfortunately the many educationalists on the platform said time again, that things have not change much. Instead of sending Black children to theses schools they are now sent to PRUs. It sounds like you attended a Black Supplementary school on Saturdays, did I get that wrong? I didn't myself, but I know they were and still remain fantastic.

nottodaybatman · 31/03/2022 14:33

@Jamdown123

Your starting premise is that white majority PS is hostile to black children moreso than state school and that the diversity in a state school is so much more beneficial to black children that it makes up for any other benefits of private school.

Firstly all PS are different so I think that is a pretty extreme place to start from that in general PS is suboptimal for emotionally supporting black children.
From a SS perspective, where catchment areas come into play you can still end up with a disproportionately white school, so then what.
Finally even if you find a SS that fits the bill with surface diversity there is no guarantee that your DC will fit in or thrive.

It's not a binary choice of success or failure but to argue that PS exact a particular cost from black children is just an opinion, I don't happen to agree and I lived it myself and with my wider family. And from a philosophical perspective it is an interesting discussion.

But the OP has real children and a real, valuable scholarship.
If she turns that scholarship down, she cannot come back a year or two later and ask for it back. If she takes the scholarship and she and her family are not happy they can leave at any time. I just think it is unusual to turn down a potentially super positive opportunity because it might not work out. It's a scholarship not a life sentence.

I am sorry you feel you are being jumped on. A lot of your points are often brought up and I think it's helpful to discussion for people to weigh in and give their perspective as either having attended PS or with DC in PS as black people. I actually tend to agree with some of your points in the context of living somewhere very monocultural white combined with a white only school. I think you are wrong when the school is white in a very mixed city - it's the isolation and being different and everyone else being the same. Those 3 factors combined are destructive. So a boarding school in Devon with a super diverse but largely international and mostly white pupil base can work better than a white grammar in a 99% white town.

nottodaybatman · 31/03/2022 14:47

*where the white town and school are all English

So technically you can find this negative trio in both the state and private sector. It's the reason so many of us think long and hard about moving to live/work somewhere monoculturally white, we instinctively know this.

Fretfulmum · 31/03/2022 15:57

We can talk endlessly about the pros and cons of black kids in SS and PS. But it’s too much a generalisation without knowing the schools in question as not every SS and PS are equal.
As I’ve said previously, the quality of education trumps racial factors for me and my DC. I will deal with any racial factors as they arise but receiving a quality education is key regardless of anything else. I went to a girls PS with very very few ethnic minority kids, one that is often discussed on the Education board. Yes there were disadvantages to being one of the very few ethnic kids and all that brought along with it, but I still wouldn’t have traded the education I received. That I can carry through life and has been the number one factor to the success in my career and life. I also agree that class does trump race, and having familial wealth similar to familial wealth of white kids definitely helps with friendships, confidence and not feeling left out.
OP- if your kids have scholarships, it’s a fab opportunity for them and I wouldn’t let that go. It’s like a once in a lifetime prize to a better future life providing your kids put in the hard work. I wouldn’t let race and your fears of them not fitting in, put you off sending them there. Help them navigate a white world and with the right parental support, they will be just fine.

QuickQuestionQueen · 02/04/2022 12:23

Thanks so much for all of your carefully considered responses. Thank you for your eloquence and thoughtfulness. It's been useful to view things from so many different social and academic perspectives.

I appreciate that everyone's experience or knowledge is different and that no two PSs or SSs are the same. Although it is impossible to incorporate my two DCs situation into a fail-safe generic guide as to what to do all input has been of great value.

Unfortunately, I feel I was naive moving into the area I currently live in. My DH and I moved here after experiencing increasing racism from an growing number of young white working class men when we lived in a very multicultural city. At first when we got here, the mostly white middle class area we live in appeared much friendlier. As it was the 21st century I felt it was unlikely that racism would be a major factor in our day to day lives here (although I did expect to live with the occasional ill thought comment). However, as time has gone by this has proved not to be the case. The levels of racism are just the same as the area we lived in before, just more covert (I won't go into detail). I do feel a bit trapped sometimes and want to get away but it's not that easy as we've made our lives here now. It's been horrifying seeing and hearing some of the racial profiling my DCs have been subjected to from such a young age at their SSs. I honestly don't think the people in question realise what they are inferring half the time. I feel they mean to be 'nice', but don't notice their biases leaking out - unintentionally. These have mostly been the school run mummies, sometimes it is the children in my DCs classes, and occasionally it has been the teaching staff. I have tried my best to support my children through the madness as we've gone along. But now, I feel that I MUST do something more proactive so that DCs' educational experiences are more positive. For example, my younger DC is on top set across the board, and yet feels less than able.

This is why I'm at these crossroads. My gut instinct tells me that if my DCs' talents have already been recognised at the PS to the extent of giving them both such generous scholarships to study there, at least we're starting on an excellent footing.

I have felt a great sense of empowerment seeing the PPs from other black mums in particular offering views both for and against PS, so thank you all once again.

OP posts:
Maggiethecat · 02/04/2022 13:41

Wishing you the very best whatever you do!!

Isonthecase · 02/04/2022 14:18

I've just stumbled across this on the active board and hopefully am not intruding but just wanted to say that I mentored a black year seven (and a couple of her friends) whilst a prefect in sixth form at a private school and its quite a standard arrangement. It meant that if there was anything they struggled with they had a route to raise it that wasn't just telling a teacher so felt comfortable raising smaller issues earlier. Possibly something to think about if they do go?

Either way, your kids have done a phenomenal job being offered that level of support to attend the school and that's indicative they really want them. They must be exceptional.

navigationmummy · 20/01/2023 06:29

Hi

Semita12 · 10/10/2023 20:20

Sigh, it is tough! Really tough to see your child struggle
DD attends private school and she is the only one visible black child. If the choice is between truly diverse state school(i.e black children) which is very good Vs The best PS… I whole heartedly advise you to go to state school.
FYI- I am born & raised in Africa… So all of this alien to me.

We have not a single good state school near us, and since all parents want the best education for kids and I failed to find PS with black children… So she will stay there.

I don't believe the school to be racist, but the othering will be felt by your child and has detrimental effect. However, I seem to notice that it is tough on black girls than it is on boys. My advise would be If you do decide to go to PS… choose the ones that are either CoEd and/or those that actively celebrate diversity through cultural days etc…
Also recommend keeping out of school sporting activities with other black children/teachers.

Good Luck.

Pineapple23 · 01/11/2023 00:35

@Semita12 "Also recommend keeping out of school sporting activities with other black children/teachers. " ???