Richard Okorogheye’s poor mother

[Kimchidreams]

My heart goes out to Richard’s mother Evidence Joel. The way she was treated when she reported him missing was awful and you can just see the pain on her face. I’m however not sure that Sky News should be interviewing her the day after police confirmed his death. Whether or not it was her decision to speak to them, you would have thought that someone at Sky might have realised that interviewing a grieving mother on TV, the day after her son’s death was confirmed, shows a complete lack of empathy. You didn’t see Sarah Everard’s grieving mother paraded on TV, but it seems like black women are fair game. I just felt so uncomfortable watching it and had to turn over. It just didn’t sit right with me. Anyone else feel the same?

I completely agree. Her face has been on my mind all day. Heartbreaking. Disgracefully treated.

Saying a prayer for her, what a horrendous experience.

I hope his family get some answers as to what happend to Richard. It is dreadful what the end result has been.

Thanks to everyone else who responded though.

Maybe Sarah’s mother refused to be interviewed.
Presumably Richard’s mother could have refused.
How does this make her ‘fair game’ because she is black?

It broke my heart from the moment I read about her lack of support from the police. Something along the lines of "if you can't find your son, how do you expect us to?" Erm because you're the police?! You have significantly more resource than a lone woman could possibly have.

It is a really sad story. That poor woman.

Because when tragic events like this occur, usually either the police, lawyer or family spokesman releases a statement on behalf of the family. At least AFAIK.

She chose to be interviewed.

@Kimchidreams

Because when tragic events like this occur, usually either the police, lawyer or family spokesman releases a statement on behalf of the family. At least AFAIK.

So, then, she chose to speak? I’m not sure what point you are making here.

@HumunaHey

It broke my heart from the moment I read about her lack of support from the police. Something along the lines of "if you can't find your son, how do you expect us to?" Erm because you're the police?! You have significantly more resource than a lone woman could possibly have.

Yeah, that’s just disgusting. I read that she said she thought it was because of her accent. It’s so sad. I have a DS of similar age, so think it just hit hard.

Bless that poor, poor woman. I imagine, in some way, perhaps talking about it (even with the media) gives her some sort of place to put her acute grief. I don't know. For me, listening to her speak shines a really vital light on her beautiful son. I followed his story intently from the beginning. My own boy is 19 and really hit a rock bottom low about 3 weeks ago (he's on a gap year) where the entire Pandemic Universe conspired against him. It was the first time I felt really, really scared for my own son's mental health. We're in West London and my son's best friends live in Kensal Rise/Ladbroke Grove, so they were actively discussing Richard's situation. It hit a nerve and when he went missing, it really worried my son and his mates, even though they didn't know him personally.
Given the way Evidence Joel's 'mother's instinct' and concerns were initially fobbed off by police, I think seeing her and listening to her is really important. Her son lived in relative isolation courtesy of this pandemic (combined with his chronic illness). He was a young man who should have been enjoying uni and all of the socialising that comes with it. It should have been an exciting time. But it's all so shit right now. It really is. It's just too much for most people and for a boy who's entered his adulthood in Covid times, it's particularly lousy. He had a lot to deal with and I am certain his poor, beloved mother couldn't have known to what extent his troubles had gotten on top of him. We think our children are coping. Sometimes we don't know the extent of their pain. And sometimes, our mother's love is not enough to help heal our children. And that's what's so terribly heartbreaking.

Maybe in a way, her active voice gives life, reason, and vitality to her son's lost one. I'd like to think that's the case. She can be a real voice for her son and for other sons who are struggling with similar issues.

Heart-felt post, @TheVanguardSix Very touching. I agree with it all.

🙄 My "sis"

Never mind, sis.

What is roid?

I thought it was 'road' at first...does it mean something I don't know or am I supposed to know what it means as a black woman?

TheVanguardSix

I agree with your post. All of it. What a sad situation.

It's really sad. RIP Richard.

I was hoping against hope it wasn't him but then again it would just be somebody else's child which is just as sad.

I decided not to watch the Sky TV clip. I hope his Mother finds some comfort.

Just reiterates how shit it is out there for young people now, too. & with Sickle Cell during lockdown he'd have been in pain, as well as isolated at home.

He's at peace now at least but the lead up is so awful.

@Kimchidreams Wanted to educate myself. Have just googled roid and I still don't understand the context or why it was your first thought. Is it something you're familiar with or is it a lame attempt at accusing a black person of using drugs and being aggressive?? Now I'm fuuuming! For a sis to say this and not a big bad white person, whatever shall I do? This scenario isn't in my racism book of offence and microaggression!

I'm afraid I don't do roid, not even on my radar. Sorry I'm not the sort of person you clearly know.

TheVanguardSix There must be so many young people struggling. Social life, studies, careers put on hold. I hope your son is feeling better now

His poor mother. There is a conversation that needs to take place within the black community in regards to when young black males go missing. Its all too quickly dismissed as the boy has gone to "country" to sell drugs. I fear this is the same take the police took at the beginning. It took the pressure of social media to propel the investigation.
The pain his mother must be in, she knows her son..There are questions to be answered as to why the police didn't look for a vulnerable young man straight away