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Did That Just Happen?

131 replies

AMemeByAnyOtherName · 19/09/2020 11:01

I figured I'd create the thread that @Dastardlythefriendlymutt quite rightly suggested a section for, I think it has traction!

I'm thinking it's a good place to vent, even if it's 'just the small stuff', as is the nature of microaggressions.

I'll start

I've been going for long walks with DTs for the past couple of weeks. I often take them into shops to pick up refreshments to keep things interesting. Last week, not once but twice, I was followed around both a co-op and a Sainsbury's local by a security guard. Literally from the door in to the checkouts to the door out. On the one hand, I could say that it was simply because I had a double buggy and perhaps people with buggies thieving is rife. But you know when you just feel that the intentions aren't right? I absolutely felt as though if I'd been white, it wouldn't have happened.

Another one was walking in to a private medical facility with DH. DTs were in the car with a friend, I just needed the loo. We were in Tunbridge Wells so it was a fair drive. The women at the front desk both looked horrified when I walked in with DH. He noticed it too. They told me I had to disinfect my hands, not him. They asked if I had a mask, and I didn't (which was my own silly fault) so they got a disposable one and put it on for me Hmm I felt really uncomfortable because she had to tie it round the back of my head and I felt like she'd be judging my hair. I used the loo as quickly as I could and got the hell out of there.

Feels good to write it down Grin please share any of your experiences and thanks again to Dastardly for the brilliant suggestion.

OP posts:

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 06/12/2020 21:09


You didnt see the deleted posts so you're just making assumptions. She started off with the doe eyed innocent questioning with "I just dont understand". The main points she asked about were explained to her. She then came back, totally ignore what had been explained and continued with "but I just sont understand whhyyyyy" and she was told to go and do some research because this topic is not hear for her to demand explanations when people simply want to share their experiences without having to educate (because the people here already spend every day of their lives doing that). When she was told that she then followed the well known trope of "you're all just aggressive. I'm just trying to learn".

She wasnt trying to learn because she ignored the explanations given; he just wanted to deny that the problem existed, tell the people here they were being oversenaitiive and then call them aggressive. That is the same pattern followed by every single person who denies racism exists, no matter how many times it is explained.


WhereverIGoddamnLike · 06/12/2020 21:10



Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 06/12/2020 23:35

HmmSureJan I don't worry about people who claim they will just grow tired and no longer support the cause because they hate being called out continually and "it gets old" so pretty son you DGAF as you so eloquently put it because they are committed to remaining ignorant and upholding racist structures because it benefits them- theirs is ever genuine support to begin with.

Feel free to take you "genuine innocent questions" to the main board and learn there as this is a safe space for black posters to share their experiences not continually be questioned, bullied for explanations and called names like aggressive.


Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 06/12/2020 23:37

son - soon
ever -never

Forgive the typos


C130 · 07/12/2020 09:48

You are 100% right Dastardlythefriendlymutt. Well said.


Carolyn59 · 05/01/2021 14:04

The same thing happened to me when I was studying in Japan. I'm a white girl with long thick curly blonde hair. I was also groped a lot on public transport and people talked about my appearance, thinking that I couldn't understand. At first, I was surprised but not too bothered by the comments, but after a year I was relieved to come back home. Although, I wonder how must it feel for black girls in the UK who are already at home. My experience was limited to a year not my whole life.

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