Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where my toenails is - Due June 2010

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Ok, here it is ladies. Nice new thread for us all to enjoy

Wow ladies, I only logged on yesterday lunchtime and have come back to so many new threads, it's taken nearly my full lunch break to read through

mampam When you list everything out like that that's happened to you, it's overwhelming to read, never mind live through. The only part of your post I feel in anyway equipped to give advice on is your cat which quite frankly is probably bottom of your list of worries, so all I'll say is that you have my total sympathy and I really hope you have some good luck soon.

LittleRobbo What a bitch your MIL sounds! What's wrong with lovely little girls? Laughing my head off at your visual description, she sounds delightful!

Justbeme I'm trying perineal massage too, I just think that it's worth a shot and I can't see that it would do any harm so why not?

gizmo Thanks so much for the link about flipping the baby. Agree there's lots of bllcks on there, but some good tips too, cheers.

Had a really great conversation with my MW sister last night. Up until now we were planning that she wouldn't deliver the baby herself but would be my 2nd birthing partner with DH. It seems she's been doing some thinking and asked if I'd like her to deliver me last night. I am so pleased, there's no one I trust more or would feel more comfortable with and what a fab story to tell the baby that he/she was delivered by his/her lovely aunty

oh meggy that's lovely!

just a quickie but mampam I'm glad you have got some good practical advice from this thread. And whatever you do DON'T apologise!!!!

gizmo rofl at taut twangy lurve trampoline! oh how you have cheered my day!

mampam - what are the school asking for money for? Although they can ask parents to make contributions for eg school trips, they can't insist that you do pay, and your dc shouldn't haven't to miss out if you don't. Do have a word with them if it's causing you stress.

minimoo - dd is 4, but ds, who is the one doing the screaming is 17.5 months. I took him to the GP this morning and it turns out that he's got an ear infection, so at least that explains it. He's now got some antibiotics, so should hopefully be back to more or less his normal self within a couple of days.

CSWS - poor little mite. They can be really painful.

Meggy - that's just lovely!

saucepanman - if you do get constipated you're fine to take Fybogel when pregnant.

Justbeme - I just don't find that perineal massage gets on my list of things to do! I don't have aconfirmed opinion on it either way, but I tend to think it's a bit like stretch marks: if you are prone to them, it's going to happen. I understand it's also to do with how well you listen to the midwife but as I didn't labour last ime, I have no real idea.

Mampam - It does sound like you are getting swamped. Might a chat with GP be soemthing to consider? It's not that everything you have to cope with right now isn't enough to get you down, but you do sound down.

WhenwillI - you were absolutely right to be cautious. I'm glad it's all ok.

RE: bumps slipping down / engagement - Good to know about all the other slipping bumps. I'm only 27 weeks and the baby is still spinning like a top. I honestly feel him all the time: much more than with DD. Anyone else? As for engagement, after last time I don't put any store in it. DD engaged last time really well, only to take herself out and turn transverse at 38 weeks. It killed when she was doing it! I doubt she would have turned back anyway, but in the end, we had to get her out of there before she had a chance to anyway.

meggy please help re our cat. She's driving us all nuts. I think half of my sleep problems are due to her. Here is a link to a thread I've just started about it.

I'm sorry to have had this total whinge/moan/meltdown and feel very guilty meggy after what happened to your friend.

CSWS I've read lots of threads on MN about schools who ask for too much money and people always say that school trips are voluntary contributions etc. Well DC's school has certainly never made trips etc out to be voluntary. I've always understood that if we don't pay then DC's don't go.
They had a themed week just before the end of last half term with people coming in to do activites with the children etc and there was a voluntary contribution wanted of £2 per child. On the Monday I didn't give them the money because I had no change. DD came home asking for the money as she had been reminded to get it from me. The next day I totally forgot about it and the same thing happened, DD had been reminded to get the voluntary contribution from me.
Christmas was a nightmare, they wanted brick-a-brack to sell at the bizaar - fine, prizes for the raffle, each class was also putting together a hamper for the raffle so DD needed toiletries and DS a bottle of alcohol. Sent DS with a bottle of sherry from the cupboard, he complained it "wasn't fair" as all the other kids in his class took a lot more than him. I had to explain we couldn't afford the same as the other parents.
For the school play DS needed a plain black T-shirt, it had to be bought. DD needed a long black skirt and a long sleeved plain black top - again it had to be bought.
DD's class is off on a residential trip in June, luckily I can pay in installments but there will be a 'kit list to follow'. They are camping so god knows what this will entail. No doubt they will give it to us a week before they are due to go as always leaving no time to save for or gradually pick up the bits needed over time.

Basically DC's school is a rural one. To live in these parts you need to be pretty wealthy. 95% of the children at the school come from wealthy families. All activites are geared up for/ organised by people who are wealthy and don't take into much consideration for those of us who aren't.

Sorry that turned into another rant didn't it?

meggy forgot to say that at my antenatal classes the MW said that the best thing for trying to turn a breech baby is to get down on your hands and knees and scrub the skirting boards! She said it's the position you're in. No good for anyone with SPD though and probably not good when you're alone as you might not be able to get up again

mampam - you need to speak to the school and explain your situation. The fact that it's a wealthy area is all the more reason why other parents can afford to subsidise a little for those who are less well off. Tell them now that you will not be able to buy stuff from the kit list, and it gives them a chance to include a request to borrow items in the letter that goes out with the list (it doesn't have to specify who needs to borrow, but just to recognise that not everyone has everything, so putting forward spares would be appreciated).

LaT and gizmo thank you, I will bear in mind talking to GP. I think it is why I found having 2 MW appointments cancelled so awful. Both times I had syked myself up and was ready to talk to MW about feeling low and discuss my anxieties/fears about having a C-section. Definitely cannot talk to my new MW about it.

I'm scared too about getting PND again and this is why I'm petrified about DH's parents coming into our lives again at my most vulnerable time. They don't like me and make me feel so awful about myself, like I'm not worthy of DH or anything I've got. Like me and DC's are beneath them.

I'm sat here crying to myself now because I feel so guilty for writing this rubbish on here all the time. I may not even post this message.

Maybe I'll go and book a GP appointment when I've pulled myself together but I don't know what I'll say when I see her. It all seems so silly.

I want to be happy when I come on here to post a message not bore everyone with tales of woe. It'll probably be best if I sort myself out first before I post again then I won't feel so guilty/bad about it.

Good idea CSWS thank you.

If posting helps mampam then carry on. How about writing out the stuff that bothers you before you go to the GP, so that you can show her that if it's all too hard to put into words in person.

Mampam - don't you dare go away! That's what boards like this are for. If you feel liek making an appointment, then you may feel better just for doing that. Worry abou twhat you'll say when you get there.

But I feel like I'm being a drama queen. Is there really anything a GP can do? She can't magic away my troubles.

If I didn't have all this stuff going on then I would probably be fine, I wouldn't have anything to be down about.

Mampam that is a huge amount on your plate. You don't sound like a drama queen to me. Please do let steam off on the board.

I don't know what a GP could do, but they might be helpful. Let GP decide if they can help?

You could think about making an appointment with your GP, going back to the CAB and also seeing if there are any support services locally that might be able to give you a hand?

Mampam you're not being a drama queen...your subconscious knows there is something wrong here and that talking about it is a step towards feeling better. So writing it down is a valuable coping strategy.

The only thing to beware of is where talking about becomes a substitute for action. Because sometimes actually doing stuff to help is very hard in the short term, even though it will make life easier in the long term. As long as you're both talking and doing you will get through this. And then you should take a bloody good long holiday, from the sound of things.

mampam Please keep posting and don't feel guilty about anything going on for anyone else. I think that most people can cope with one problem, no matter how terrible it seems (like the loss of a friend) but when problems are layered and you feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, it must be so much harder. I wholeheartedly agree that speaking to someone (GP or whoever) about how hard things are at the moment is a really good idea. Good luck mampam and please know you can talk to us and you don't need to feel in anyway bad about it. x

Oh and I'm off now to look at the cat thread

mampam you MUST stay on this thread,you are integral to it,and when things look up for you,which they will,we will all wantto hear about it I had PND in the form of panic attacks & anxiety after DS1,i was only 21 and didnt realise until 2 years later what was happening to me,an awful time in my life when i should have been enjoying my baby. Had it on & off for years after,and i found the only thing that helped,long after the meds,was yoga,i did a home DVD every day,its great for helping your brain switch off from your woes. Could be worth a try.

Well i am officially on Mat leave Had my last day today and had lots of gorgeous gifts,a huge pink box full of clothes nappies creams etc,2 bouquets,one of which from DH sent to my work with love from baby Summer A really lovely last day

Mampam, I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I don't have much advice I'm afraid, but speaking about how you feel is definitely good, bottling things up is never good, I speak from experience.

Had midwife appt and scan this afternoon and everything seems fine. Both babies are traverse - like they are lying in bunkbeds at the moment. They are happy with my blood pressure, and the twins growth so next appt is in 4 weeks at 32 weeks. Then 36 weeks. Not sure after that.

Sometimes I think its ages until June, and then other days I think, wow its only 10-12 weeks!

whenwillisleepagain Brilliant news about the breast clinic, that must be such a weight off your mind.

justbeme I'm getting my bloods checked weekly, but that's not specifically for my anaemia. Have had my iron tablets increased today as Hb is still dropping. I wouldn't worry though, loads of pg women get anaemia and very, very few would need a drip for it. I very much doubt it will affect your home birth at all. I never did perineal massage last time and did have a fairly significant tear, so maybe I should have done. Can't say I'm planning on having a go this time around either though.

CSWS Yes, I would think stress could cause the problems with your vision. I would think its unlikely to be anything to do with your diabetes as that seems to be well controlled doesn't it? Definitely get checked out if it happens again as if you're BP is high enough to cause visual disturbance this isn't good. Poor DS and poor you. Glad you now know what's wrong with him and hope he feels better soon.

minimoon yes, I have the heavy fanny feeling too, feels as though I have the baby's head between my legs when I'm walking, however when I was examined today the baby was not engaged at all and they thought possibly breech. It was head down at scan a week ago, so I hope they're wrong and it hasn't flipped around.

notgrownupenough I was anaemic when DD was born and have a history of depression but managed to avoid postnatal depression. I think knowing that I was at risk of it really helped me to notice the signs when I was getting low after DD was born so I could make a real effort to get the support I needed to avoid full blown depression and I will be keeping a very close eye on my mood again this time.

mampam Definitely do not stop posting here. We will all worry about you if we don't hear how you're getting on. Book yourself a GP appointment first thing in the morning if you haven't already. I think I remember you saying you have a good GP so I'm sure they'll be helpful. I know you think your problems sound silly, but I promise you they definitely do not sound at all silly to me. You are coping with so many problems at the moment, and its ok to admit that you can't cope with it all on your own and you need some help. Your GP can be an impartial person to listen to your problems, they can help you to access support and if nothing else they can definitely help you to address your worries about the caesarian.

LittleRobbo congratulations on starting maternity leave!

Well, I definitely spoke too soon about only having one appointment this week and so wouldn't have to spend all morning at the hospital. Turned up for my 9am appointment this morning. Had all my other checks, then strapped to the monitor. An hour later, baby not cooperating at all and criteria for the CTG still not met. Usually its all done in about 20 minutes, but baby just wasn't moving enough for them to get the variations in heartrate that they need to see. So I waited to see the doctor, who looked at all of my results, adjusted my medication a bit and said I should go away and get a cup of tea, then come back in 30 mins to try the monitor again. Second monitoring eventually met the criteria and I was able to leave at 2pm, so I was there for 5 hours, having thought I'd be in and out in an hour. I had DD with me as I didn't think I'd be too long, and she really was as good as gold the whole time, I'm so proud of her!

mampam hang on in there, lets face it things can only get better and we want to share the ups and the downs.

Well having watched one born every minute and spending most of the hour shouting at the TV how they'd better not do that to me, I'm going to find a birth plan and get that finalised.
For some reason I felt the urge to start packing, not so much a hospital bag as a birth bag so all the bit's I'll need straight away are in one place even if we do manage a homebirth, I think that will be useful.

Have just stuffed my face with toast and milk before my 11pm deadline for the GTT tomorrow.I'm totally sulking about it! Hope my 4 appts go swiftly as DH is belly aching about coming along, I am ignoring him so far

Re anaemia, what is classed as a low HB count, does anyone know?

mampam hang in there and do keep posting x

Nearly midnight, feeling peckish and dp went and got me a bowl of...wait for it...cucumber and tomato!! WTF! Should he still deserve a brownie point for effort or just a saucepan over the head?

Anyway, takes me so long to catch up on reading everyone's posts that I never get round to replying properly. Just wanted to say that I do read them all though!

Mampam - Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Just please keep us updated.

Saucepanman - I believe that low HB count is anything below 11. Mine was 10.1 at last testing and I'm on iron tablets - was feeling pretty wiped out. I think below 7 is seriously serious (i.e. needing blood transfusion).

madamefreckle my letter seems to say 100! That can't be right,can it?! Oh I would kill for your bowl of salad right now, despite having had toast at 11pm, think that knowing I can't eat is making me worse!

Am about to kill H, he has known for 2 weeks that I wanted him to come with me to hosp tomorrow, that I didnt want to to take the kids. My mum has had day off work to look after them. 12.15 and he is still saying "I don't know what you want me to do, what if we are ages and I can't get my work done?!" (it's his month end tomorrow and he has one job left which imo he could do in the afternoon.) I may kill him, and no court in the land would convict! and
He cannot understand why I want him to come, why I cannot go alone, or with mum and kids in tow- don't know how further to explain it without losing it!

saucepanman Hope you managed to convince DH that he needed to come with you. Mine is the same and rarely comes to appointments although he managed to come along for my first 2 appointments last week as I was having a scan. He sat doing work in the waiting room though and saying "I don't know how you put up with this every week" so at least I have his sympathy. There were another couple in the waiting room at the time who had obviously had a similar argument as she was saying "now do you see why I didn't want to bring DD" while he was struggling to keep lively toddler amused! Hope your appointments go well anyway.

madamefreckle I would be seriously unimpressed with a bowl of tomato and cucumber.

Normal Hb is 12-15, I think they would generally think about starting iron tablets if it goes below 11. Mine seems to be hovering between 9 and 10 at the moment.