Due May 2010: Where we get a 'bloom' just in time for the christmas mayhem???

[AnAngelWithin]

Morning ladies. Hope you don't mind me starting a new thread! The other one was too big for my computer to manage! lol

01 May - Brightredballoon, 32. #3
02 May - kaystar, 33, #1
03 May - lizzie9442, 23, #4
04 May - ForcesSweetheart, 36, #2
04 May - memorylapse, #5
05 May - Lotus Palm, 31, #1
05 May - Bettymamma #3
06 May - DorotheaPlenticlew, #2
06 May - LuckyC, 35, #1
07 May - Woody31 #1
07 May - hobnobfanatic, 37. #2
08 May - sweetkitty, 34, #4
08 May - Sassles, 30, #1
08 May - TheShopaholic, 33, #2
09 May - Alexw, 37, #2
10 May - Sophie2008, 28, #2 & #3 (Non id twins!)
10 May - Gils, 28, #2
11 May - Itshappenedagain, 25, #2
11 May - sheepgomeep, 32,#4
12 May - pamelat, 31, #2
12 May - Tamuna, 28, #1
12 May - slipperthief, 33, #2
12 May - napa, 31, #2
12 May - Katnkittens 29, #4
12 May - Haribolicious, 36, #2
13 May - Cith, 30, #1
13 May - Wibblela, 36, #1
14 May - Charmbutterfly, 28, #1
14 May - Carikube, 36, #2
14 May - JamesAndTheGiantBanana, 28, #2
14 May - CornishSAMum, 32, #1
14 May - Tinylion #2
15 May - TwentiethCenturyHeffa, 25, #2
16 May - MoggMum, 38, #1
16 May - MinnieMummy, 36, #3
16 May - schipo, 40, #1, [boy]
17 May - newmomma, 31 #2
17 May - LittleOneMum, 36, #2
17 May - First1, 21, #1
17 May - Morph2, 36 #1
18 May - TomlinTowers, 31, #2
18 May - 30ish, 31, #2
19 May - cupcakefairy, 25, #1
19 May - Pigleychez, 28, #2
20 May - LolaAnn, 22, #1
20 May - mmmmmchocolate, 27, #2
20 May - BuongiornoPrincipessa, 29, #1
21 May - Suey2, 39, #2
21 May - Sweetpeasmum, 38, #2
23 May - Swangirl,36 #3
23 May - Mollybob, 37 #3
23 May - RacquelWelsh, 38 #1
24 May - Yorky (started on here as HeadInAWhirl), 31 #3
24 May - Cafuffle 36 #2
24 May - AnAngelWithin #5
25 May - Den26, 26 #1
26 May - Booboomonster 35 #2
26 May - Washersaurus, 33, #3
28 May - Glastochick #1
30 May - tiggsy98 29, #2
31 May - April80 29,#2
31 May - Hollyoaks, 27, #2

I've got a birth plan that another mn'er was kind enough to share with me last week, it covers lots of eventualities from spontaneous labour to a c-section birth, pain management, after the birth and so on. Happy to email it to anyone else who thinks it'd be useful as an example. I'm planning to tailor it to my own preferences before the big day. Email me at lisabpearson at virginmedia dot com if you'd like a copy.

LuckyC The physios have given me a big stretchy velcro contraption that's supposed to support my back and pelvis for the SPD but it's completely useless with my apron in the way. I imagine it would give some real relief if I didn't have that, as something tight around that area would hold everything in place.

I haven't done a birth plan yet - I never quite got round to doing one with DS1 as he arrived two weeks early and I was completely unprepared as I fully expected to go two weeks overdue.

I think I might do one this time round tho - have emailed forcessweetheart to get a copy of hers. When I was admitted last time the midwife just said to me to outline my requirements before my labour got too intense - so I said, breastfeed asap, skin to skin contact before cleaning, episiotomy as a last resort, as natural a birth as poss, water birth if available, epidural was a last resort (before c/s obv) and my husband was to come with me in the event of a c/s. Oh, and if there was problems afterward and I was separated from the baby then I wanted my husband to go with the baby and then be with me after. If that makes sense. Not sure what else you'd cover in a birth plan though having never done proper one. It'll be interesting to see.

And ditto with the perineal massage. I was amazed to discover what it involved - especially people who got their DH's involved! I was planning on getting round to it - had bought oil from mothercare esp - but then he arrived early and it never happened. I didn't suffer though for having not done it and am not going to bother this time...

As for sharing birth stories... I went to a funeral 12 days before my DS1 was due - in Poole (I live in Reading). I had no signs that anything was kicking off - until one massive contraction in the crematorium car park. I assumed it must be the start of bh as hadn't had any yet.

Then in the 20 mins journey to the wake I had 4 more huge contractions - my waters broke and on the 2nd. I (I have no idea why!) didn't mention any of this going on to my husband in the car until we got to the wake. When I got out the car I asked him if my trousers looked wet - I was soaked, and finally had to admit that things had started.

We whizzed over to Poole Hospital where after a 20 min wait I was seen by a midwife who started out by saying 'don't worry - I'm sure you'll have time to go home' and then after having examined me, raised her eyebrows and said 'yes you're 4cm - you'll be having this baby here'.

I was very shocked as I didn't have my hospital bag (well I hadn't actually packed one yet!) or my notes.

Anyway - darling baby boy came after just about 12 hours - I had pethidine about 5 hours before he arrived - it was useless. They said it might help me get some sleep (!) but it didn't touch the sides. They broke a small amount of my hind waters at the same time so my labour kicked up a gear and then using G&A, and a lot of fantastic massage from wonderful DH he popped out. A few minor grazes outside and a couple of internal stitches (which they nearly didn't bother doing) which I never even noticed as they were quite high up, iyswim.

A midwife (the most senior one who was there) did my stitches... Didn't take longer than a minute and I don't remember any of it as they let me loose on the G&A again whilst they did it!

Sorry for the long post...

Blimey we do talk dont we!

Rachel- Glad you mananged to get the snawers you wanted.

SK- The cheap double buggy is something we have mentioned. I think we will see how DD goes with the board first and maybe get the cheapy for the odd days out.

re nesting- I have along list of the odd jobs I want to do but cant really find the enthusiasm to do them!!

Gils- Hope your mum recovers soon.

Jen- Welcome

ML- Hope the hospital mangage to sort your sugars out soon. Rest up too!

wibblela- Make a birth plan but just be aware thats things dont always go to plan so dont be too upset if your birth wasnt your ideal.
My whole plan basically went out the window. Go in with an open mind.

Had my MW appointment today. Surgery was heaving and very hot! Waiting my turn and realised that people coming in after me where going in before me. I questioned this at reception and said to grab her when she comes out. Next tome she came out with her bag and started saying how she was going for lunch! I stopped her and it seems its Id somehow been forgot off her list! Id been waiting in the waiting room for an hour with a 17mth old, who was getting hungry and tired!
Anyway she did my appointent. Mentioned about the consultant and shes given me a number to call to get someone to go through my last labour with me.
My BP is high again so she has booked me an appointment with a consultant and thinks I may have to have medication for it. Also my sugar levels were really high again. Ive been so good the past week, not eating anything sugary but its made no difference!
Have to have the GTT at 28 weeks. Looking more like that might come back positive now.
MW says baby is a good size, so not quite sure if she means the right size for its age or a big size .
Just feel like im falling apart! Worried too about what it means for my labour this time. I really didnt like the high intervention and monitoring last time so was hoping to avoid it again but with everything going wrong feels like its slipping away from me

Hi girls, back at work and enjoying the rest!!!! Mum is in a lot of pain but should hear on Tuesday when she is going for op, fingers crossed it can be asap. Must be so painful to be sitting with broken bones waiting. It'll be bad enough after the op.

DH has the kids today and was sounding bit stressed on phone. My niece can be good but never lasts long, has never had much discipline and just takes the p*ss. DH said he is looking forward to getting her told!

I'm still feeling very dizzy and occassionally faint, felt like I haven't stopped eating today.

Glad ML and bump are being looked after, thanks for keeping us updated forces.

I had a brilliant birth by all account. 2 weeks before due date started taking bad braxton hicks, midwife said I could go at anytime and thought there was no way I would be back to see her at due date. I was and was booked in for sweep and induction. Went for sweep and she said I was so many cm dilated (can't remember) and could have broke my waters there and then and to be prepared for next 24 hrs. I went another week after that was 11 days late.

Pains started at 1030pm night before I was due to be induced, didn't think anything of it. Pain got very intense about 2am but when I phoned hospital they said I had plenty of time because pain was all in my back so ran a bath and had paracetemol. Must have phoned 4 times but kept telling us to stay at home. Best place I found to sit was toilet. At 530 I literally left baby drop and told DH we had to go now. Made it to hospital in 15 mins (speeds I can not imagine) and I was pushing all the way. Delievered within 30 mins of arriving at hospital. G&A taken of me because it made me ill and couldn't focus so did it all on 1 paracetemol. Had more pain relief for the stitches and delivering placenta!!!!

I do worry about this time. Worry DH won't have time to get to me if I do go faster, had that been rush hour with DD I probably would have delivered in car. Worried I will give into the pain easier this time. The midwifes were all telling me I wasn't in established labour because all my pain was concentrated in back so think I just had to tell myself its going to get a lot worse and put up with it. This time I'll know.

In laws have just suggested we go with them on holiday to Cyprus in September. They can be difficult to get along with and thought of going on holiday with a 4 month old baby isn't overly appealing but with everything thats been going on, and the weather we have just had, it is sounding more and more appealing.

don't think the there would be room for me to write all my birth stories!! hahaha

new momma - my email is chloepeacock at yahoo dot co dot uk

Hi folks glad you're all ok. Sorry to hear ML is in hospital, hope she's out soon!

Are we doing birth stories? - well, last time I had a straightforward vaginal birth, gas and air, took 11 hours, very short pushing stage, 2nd degree tear and a beautiful 7lb 2oz baby boy. I didn't enjoy labour as I was flat on my back and it was painful, but it was simple enough and I healed very well from the tear.

This time around I would like an epidural, so I'm going to be going in earlyish and asking for one straight away. I'm also looking into getting a doula to support me in getting the epidural and to ensure a more positive experience. I don't have many more preferences apart from that, really.

LuckyC don't worry too much about labour, by the time it happens you're so massive and fed up you're begging for it to happen, and you face it head on. The best thing you can do is keep an open mind with regards to pain relief, there's no shame in asking for drugs if you need them! I wish I had.

Oh we can talk, was looking at the Asda baby event today but they hadn't any vests or babygros left in newborn size, still cannot get my head around buying blue, the Asda vests and babygros are great though can definitely recommend them.

pigley - sounds like you had a horrid day, I think I would have walked out after half and hour, why are surgeries always boiling and your DC start playing up the minute you go in there. Hope you get someone to go through your last labour soon.

Good to hear memorylapse is doing OK as well

Gils - your poor Mum, hopefully her op will be asap

newmomma - good birth story

LuckyC - I have had 2 support belts but TBH they are rubbish, they are really tight and uncomfortable for me anyway. I'm in agony as well, driving is bad as you have to keep your right foot flexed which hurts and braking hurts as well, still better than walking.

Some good info and advice here PGP

Hobnob - I was like you had a detailed birth plan and it all went out the window, I remember taking CDs to listen to and Rescue Remedy my labours are so not like that.

As I still don't know where I am having this baby birth plab a bit up in the air but something like this, give me gas and air, I will curl up in a ball, do not touch me or fuss over me as I will completely out of it, I will sort myself out when to push. Do not cut cord until it has stopped pulsing, skin to skin and BF asap, I want time to recover and have a look at the baby before delivering placenta, being cleaned up etc, physiological 3rd stage, baby can have Vit K injection. Basically give me the gas and air and leave me alone, as long as I know the MWs are there though.

jen - hello and welcome

Better go WW3 has erupted upstairs

Newmomma - What a great birth story!
I didn't like pethidine either. G&A was great to start off with, but not much help later on. The Pethidine made me feel out of control and 'odd' - people thought I was asleep, but I was just quiet and trying to concentrate on battling the pain. For me, the spinal block was just lovely! But I hear that mws are often reluctant to give people epidurals when it comes to it. Why?

Gils - I'm not sure I could do all that on one paracetemol! Wow!

Thanks, Forces for the birthplan. So much to think about! Are tears better than episiotomies? The 'apply heat and pressure to support the perinium' bit - who would do that? The mw?

I feel really sad right now

Mums just rang to see how I got with the midwife today. Chatting away about baby and I said how we think its another girl. Mum said "oh I want a boy" I joked at said will think its tough. I Said that we dont mind what it is. " well I do" was her reply. " I wanted a boy in the family. Well as long as its got 2 arms and 2 legs I suppose it will do".

I dont think my mum meant it nastily. She has a habbit of saying things without thinking about what shes saying But its made me feel really sad for this poor bubba.

Theres an on going thing with my mum and how she is with DD so I prob shouldnt be suprised! I just want DH to come home so I can disappear upstairs away from the world!

Great stories from everyone!

James, please tell me to shut up if you'd prefer, as I think this is all very private really, but why are you going for an epidural this time around? Do you think it will improve your experience?

Also, anyone who had pain relief (for non-surgical reasons!) first time around, was it a case of you knew straight away when it started that you were going to want pain relief, or you got to a point when you thought 'Sod this'? Anyone asked for pain relief and been denied it?

Gosh, wouldn't be great to have some idea of what was coming so that you could start to plan even a little bit? I know everyone is in same boat though.

Ooh, going to NCT thing tonight, and writing drivers theory test (don't ask!) tomorrow.

Hang in there Pigley, this might just be a bad week and BP and sugar might look better next week, will be crossing fingers.

Wow, this thread moves really fast!

Pigley - sorry you're having a rough time. I know what you mean about falling apart, that's how I felt after 20 week appointment but everything seems to be going OK now. Just make sure the HCP are looking after you and taking your concerns seriously. If you don't mind me asking, how high is your BP? about your Mum, that must be really upsetting. Hope you're OK and your DH gets home soon to look after you.

LuckyC - about pain relief, I wanted to use G&A and Tens machine first time round. I was induced at 39 weeks and after about 8 hours in labour the pain was stupidly intense so that I was blacking out. I've normally got a very high pain threshold so was a bit and I was only about 2cms dilated at that point so they knew it was going to take a while. I knew then that I was going to need something more and I didn't want pethidine (can't remember why now). I was strapped to the bed for monitoring anyway (DD's heartrate was erratic) so the epidural didn't prevent me having a mobile labour. As it happens, I needed a spinal block to repair the tear anyway so it saved time then because they just topped up the epidural. Labour was actually a pretty good experience though

Forces - thanks for the update re ML, I hope she's OK and out soon.

LuckyC, don't worry ask away. I want an epidural because I have a crap pain threshold so last time I coped well up to a point and then I got overwhelmed and frightened, which didn't help anyone as I couldn't focus on what the midwives were telling me.

Being flat on my back didn't help though, it made things more painful so (unless you're having an epidural) try to keep upright/mobile and go with your instincts position wise, and don't let the mw bully you into lying down flat with feet in stirrups just for her own convenience!

I didn't know what pain relief I'd need before the birth, no, I just thought I'd see how I got on. I don't think you can ever tell how you'll cope beforehand, which is why it's important to keep an open mind with regard to pain relief. Someone in my family decided to just "see how she got on" pushed her baby out on just 2 paracetamol and said she'd do it again the next day if she could!

big hug pigley

has anyone used a tens machine before? I was wondering if they were helpful, or a bit like putting a plaster on an amputated arm?
hobnob tears vs episiotomies is debatable, the idea with cutting is that you can control the amount and direction, avoiding the perineal body (directly between holes) and in theory less risk of lasting damage to your pelvic floor. But some people disagree;
"Like any surgical procedure, episiotomy carries a number of risks: excessive blood loss, haematoma formation, and infection. . . . There is no evidence . . . that routine episiotomy reduces the risk of severe perineal trauma, improves perineal healing, prevents fetal trauma or reduces the risk of urinary stress incontinence." Sleep, Roberts, and Chalmers 1989
It is possible to tear even if you do have an episiotomy, and the 4% of women who have severe (grade3/4) tears have often had episiotomies that have torn further.
The rate of episiotomy use varies widely, in some countries in south america it is a high as 95%, and this may be beause it is easier for the obstetrician/midwife, and just gets the delivery done quicker.
Not many conclusive studies about healing time for tears vs episiotomies.
A review of many diff studies in 2006 found that perineal massage gave a signficant reduction in tears and the need for an episiotomy, but only in first deliveries. As you mentioned, hot compresses have been reccommended, and controlled delivery by the MW.
That being said, if you need one for a procedure eg forceps, or LO just isnt coming out fast enough, then its worth it.
Hope thats interesting!

First time around I was sure I would have an epidural, even though I have had 2 homebirths I'm not a kind of incense and chanting type of girl, I wanted maximum pain relief. As it happened, MWs got the length of my labour wrong and I was actually pushing before anyone knew about it (including myself) I remember begging for an epidural and being told it was too late . I don't think the gas and air does much really but it gives you something to do and focus on IYSWIM?

I would say to anyone go into it with an open mind there are so many variables it's impossible to tell how you will react, some women cope well fine, others don't but it's not an indication of you, the baby could be lying awkwardly, could be in the wrong position and no amount of effort on your part will get them out, big baby/small pelvis. I have had 3 normal labours but even this time you just don't know what is going to happen - makes it fun though

Try not to focus on the labour other Mums will tell you it's such a small part of it all, it's a few hours or one day, being a Mum is much more than the labour part.

Peaky - I liked my TENS machine last time round until I had the epidural. It seemed to help and fiddling with it kept me busy and distracted A friend of mine swears by them, someone else reckons they're useless. Mine didn't cost much to hire from Boots so worth a try if you've got the money. I used to use it before the birth for backache as well and it was pretty good for that (not sure if that's actually recommended or not ).

OMG. I turn my back for a week and look how big the thread got! I suppose when RL calls...

I haven't got time to read it all properly, just wanted to send a quick cuddle toPigley. Sorry you're having a tough time. I hope it picks up soon.

And I'm marking my place. Will come back and read when DH is at hairdressers later and I can have the pooter to myself.

x

Thanks peaky for the useful info on episiotomies. This is all a massive learning curve for me.

LuckyC I'm with you re feeling a bit overwelmed by all the birth stories. Yikes!

I don't have a birth plan yet but quite like the idea of a birth pool. This will limit the pain relief available to just gas & air though. My sis-in-law delivered her two boys in a birth pool with NO pain relief what so ever! My Dsis had a birth plan for her first baby but that all went out the window and she ended up having an emergency cesarean (I was her birthing partner) so am trying to keep an open mind.

I'm trying not to worry too much about the birth as it's going to happen one way or another whether I like it or not!

Peaky- That makes interesting reading. I must be in the 4% that still tore after a episotomy.

Heffa-dont mind you asking at all.. Todays reading was 150 over 97. I know it could be much much worse but its creeping up each appointment. Where you on tablets for it the first time? Ive been reading and the whole idea of beta blocks slowing my heart rate scares the life out of me. Maybe I shouldnt google!!

Just had a large bowl of ice cream covered in strawberry sauce and it was Yummy!!!

pigley beta blockers aren't as scarey as you think! I've been on them for about 2 years to prevent migraines. They have been a total godsend! Hope you are feeling better after you mums comments. Bless ya.

I am NOT doing the perineal massage thing and thats that!!! I've managed 4 kids so far, I don't think it needs any more stretching! I had an episiotomy with my first but that was because he was a ventouse delivery. Other than that, all fine with the other 3, barely a graze!

I have just ordered a load of travel size shampoo and shower gel and toothpaste etc to pop into a hospital bag. No point lugging all the full sized bottles!!! Hopefull will have a homebirth anyway, but if I happen to need to go into hospital for whatever reason(fingers crossed i dont!) I will be prepared and DH won't have to worry about getting anything together for me with having 4 kids to worry about too!!

I had a TENS machine but found it annoying more than anything. I also decided that I didn't really want any pain relief apart from G&A (though I then found that didn't do much for me). I did ask for pethidine at one point but got told that I'd left it too late; then I didn't have anything until I got the spinal block and I nearly kissed the anaesthetist as I was not doing too well by that point...

As I want to go back to the MLU this time I know that I won't be able to have anything stronger than G&A or pethidine so I will probably try without for as long as possible and see how I get on.

I had a birth plan for dd but it was very short and in the end, not much use, as things didn't go as I wanted anyway. I was petrified of having an episiotomy/tearing but by the time they gave me an ep I'd had the spinal block and really didn't care about anything...

Can't believe how quickly this thread has moved! Have had a busy week at work, late meetings and parents evenings etc.. so have just flaked out when I've got home.

ML -Really hope evrything is stabilising and that you are starting to feel better. Look after yourself.

Gils - Hope you are less faint and that your mum is improving.

Pigley - Sorry you're having a bad week Hope things improve soon.

Angel - hope you manage to get some sleep soon. Take care

Welcome to the newbies

Birth stories - My 3 have all been very different, but none of them bad. Had backache and a quick birth with G&A for DD1, was induced for DD2, but still managed with G&A. Had a long, but very normal labour with DS1 - don't know what happened this time as it wasn't any worse than the other 2, but decided I needed pethidine. Big mistake as it made me really sick, although it sort of took away the pain! Apparently I was talking nonsense and felt like I was standing in the corner of the room watching myself - it was a bit 'out of body'. But it did mean I couldn't enjoy my post birth toast (the most amazing toast in the world - already looking forward to it ) It will be interesting to see what happens this time
I have torn each time (not badly), but was always given the choice of stitches or healing naturally. Have always chosen the latter and had no problems. I swear by lavendar oil afterwards.
Looking forward to G&A, it makes me feel like I've had 10 pints of stella

Still itching, it's driving me mad. Antihistimines aren't doing anything - does anyone know of any creams or anything (have tried bathing in aquas(sp) cream) that might help - haven't had blood results yet, but think it must be just hormonal. Think I will have gone insane by May!

Sorry if I have missed anybody out. Take care everyone.

Hi all

been mostly lurking as feel I'll just bring you all down as still sick and not feeling any excitement at all just yet (quite shocked by this and feeling very conflicted - know I can't help how I feel but should be delighted to be having a wanted, healthy baby) - started an AIBU thread about this and people v supportive but not the way I want it to be.

glad ML is being looked after

Kateyjane - try cetraben cream or aqueous with menthol from your GP but keep them in the fridge as more soothing when chilled

birth stories - induced as over dates with DS and epidural pretty useless - was strapped to heart monitor and had to be on my back but then had pethidine and that zoned me out and when I came round I was ready to push and that was fine - had no clue about the ring of fire bit so was unable to relax and push through and ended up being cut - healed fine though (8lbs 9)

DD - went into labour late morning but didn't become intense enough to be sure until late afternoon - we went for a walk on the beach, I had a decent dinner and a bath before deciding I should accept this really was labour - dropped DS at a friend's house at 7.30, who wouldn't believe I was really in labour as I was calm and not in agony - arrived at hospital and was confirmed - pottered about with G&A and TENS which helped because it distracted me mainly and kept mobile - watched MOTD with DH about 11pm. Started to get pretty constant contractions then and remember very little but kept on with G&A (great stuff!!!), remember being told they could see her head and being amazed as I wasn't even pushing - she just flew out - no tear, no perineal massage in advance - no problem (8lbs 5)

Hoping for a repeat of DD but it was 9 years ago so might be a bit trickier...

Pigley - I wasn't on medication for BP at all last time, not sure why tbh since my diastolic was regularly over 100. It's been over 100 this time as well which is why they've put me on drugs (methyldopa) and it's gone down to around 80 so I'm 120/80 atm. I have to say, I feel a lot better on it and I'm feeling much more relaxed know that they're doing something about it. The MW was saying that they may not need to monitor me as much now that they know the medication is keeping the BP low so that's a bonus too. I was quite resistant to medication but it's not really been a problem at all.

Really tired today - been to London for a meeting and decided to walk back to Kings Cross from Great Russell Street - was only 1 inch on the map but much further in real life!! Bump aching a bit now, won't be doing that again.

I hired a TENS machine from Boots - it isn't so much but never got chance to use it as had to be induced. Some people swear by them, others not. I will be getting one again I think.

My birth plan first time round was to have as natural birth as possible but first priority was to ensure health of baby and me, pain relief if I asked, skin to skin contact, DH to cut the cord if poss, BF straight away, baby to have the Vit K injection and they could do what they liked about the placenta. MS just looked at it and then said "well, we'll see how far they get with that" and never looked at it again! This time, birth plan is just going to say "EPIDURAL" in big letters...

Angel/Pigley - take care of yourselves. The dreams can be a bit strange. Kateyjane - the itching sounds awful hope it stops soon.

Hi to everyone else.