Becoming bulgy! June-oh what I mean? (June part 2)

[madamefreckle]

Hello everyone! Welcome to the second thread! Hope you are happy enough that I've gone ahead with this title! If not, I won't be mortally offended if you ditch it and start again!

Here is the list - hope it is more or less up-to-date. Apologies if you're missing, please add yourself on. Pogue - we don't have you on here. Scared - are you still around? Perhaps you've moved to the May thread. Let us know how you're doing.

27th-3rd - ScaredofEverything, 33, #2
30/05 GoodName, 31, #1
1st - Washersaurus , 33, #3
1st - ELM, 29, #2
1st - bambino02, 23, #2
1st - mampam, 29 #3
1st - whenwillisleepagain, 42 #2
2nd - scrappydappydoo, #3
2nd - MrsGravy, 33, #3
3rd - nickytwotimes, 35, #2
3rd - RnB, 31, #3
3rd - Tafftaff, 36, #2
4th - minimoonumbertwo, 33, #2
4th - madamefreckle, 33, #2
4th - sunshiney, 34, #2
5th - greensnail, 27, #2
5th - Dizzymac, 35 No.3
6th - AlwaysHopefull, 35, #2
6th - zumm, 37, #1
7th - LittleRobbo, 34, #3
7th - MrsC09, #1
7th - mumandlovingit, 28 #4
8th - Tobermory, #2
8th- Saucepanman, 31, #4
9th - Woofie, 33, #2
10th - charlottew 32, #1
10th - fillybuster 35, #3
10th - upsydaisysexstylist #3
11th - PorridgeBrain, 34, no. 2
12th - UnrequitedSkink, 33, no. 2
12th - Rangemaster 29, #3
11th - Fabi76, #1
13th - ChairmumMiaow, 29, #2
13th - sobloodystupid, 34, #3
14th - Cadmum, 38, #5
14th ? MrsAlwaysRight, 31 #2
15th - MummyWantsANewBag, #2
15th - Ponymum, 41, # 2
17th - Bluesnowfalcon 28 #1
17th - theperfectbaguette 34 #1
17th - muchchocolate #2
18th - Horton 40 #2
19th - Ladyemmalou83, 26 #1
19th - Georgee 37 No 1
21st - Gizmo, 39, #3
22nd - GinaFB, #1
23rd - Sunshineday 39 #5
23rd - GibberingGinger 33 #2
23rd? - Spudthescarecrow #3
24th - imkeepingmum, #1
25th - Ilovemyterrier, 38 no1
25th - readysetgo, #1
26th - Celery, 34 #4
28th - CantSleepWontSleep (HappyAccident),
36, no3
29th - MrsDmamee #3
30th - Monthlymayhem, 34, no. 2

Hey LaT - will read your catch up on the postnatal later but in answer to your question:

1. Same as Cantsleep - ds slept at gps for the first few nights to give us time to settle in with Tamara. When he came home, dh and I were downstairs to make a big fuss of him, dd was upstairs in crib...we all went up together to look at the new baby sister, made a huge fuss of him for being a big brother, and then she gave him his amazing garage (clever girl! ) and he gave her the lovely cuddly snow leopard we had chosen and wrapped together a week earlier. He had been keeping it wrapped up in his bedroom to give to the baby and was very proud it was the first thing to keep it company in the cot!

1. We got everyone to make a big fuss of ds and, anyway, 2.5 yr olds are more interesting than sleeping babies, so actually it happened anyway. Lots of people bought him presents too

1. We made it ds' job to show the baby to visitors and to tell them how to behave (ie to be quiet etc!) and this reinforced his sense of importance.

1. Over time, we made a point of things like "oh, you're the only one she always smiles for" etc, and "isn't she lucky to have you as a big brother" (note: NOT "aren't you lucky to have a little sister"!!)

1. Beforehand (nearer the time) we did lots of talking about what little babies are like in a fairly realistic way: they cry & sleep a lot, they can't play for a long time, they need lots of milk and I explained about bfing, which he thought was fascinating . I also had a small chat just before my due date when I explained that sometimes he might not be very happy about the baby being there, and that was ok too, and he could always tell me...although in retrospect I think that was unecessary

1. The India Knight story book (The New Baby) was great, although we applied some judicious editing.

1. A lot of dh's paternity leave was spent focussed on ds as well as our new dd. As well, I worked hard to make sure that ds' life didn't change for the worse in any way after dd's arrival, so he still got to go to all the same playgroups etc as before. He started nursery when dd was 3 months old, by which point he was ready for something new but didn't feel 'pushed out' by the baby. It did help that I worked ft until dd was born and my nanny stayed on the first few months, so I could focus on dd without feeling guilty, but maybe you've got friends/family who can help provide cover for Sabela?

Ummm, I think that's it, although there's probably some more stuff I;ve missed. Sorry for another long post today....

Ah, daren't turn my back on this thread for an instant...things move on with speed.

LaT - we did many of the things Filly and Cantsleep did..making sure DS1 got as much of our attention (and visitors attention) as DS2, being scrupulous about really listening to him and making sure his needs were met. Also, because he was a bit older (4.5) it wa in some respects easier because he could be trusted to do things for DS2, like rock him gently or do up the poppers on his nappy.

DS2 was born at home so was 15 minutes old when DS1 met him. Still in the pool, so no possibility of me giving DS1 priority cuddles. But as soon as we were all out and dried, and DS2 was swaddled up nice and cosy, I sat DS1 on my lap and gave him DS2 to 'hold' (actually I was gently holding his hands as he did so). Remembering the gentle care and concentration he put into this still brings a lump to my throat. Three years later he's concentrating mainly on pinning his brother to the floor and and licking his ears - it doesn't last, I tell you.

Thanks for comments on behaviour, filly, madamef. Yes, I'm sure part of it is that I'm a more regular presence in their lives right now. By that yardstick my poor sainted nanny must be having a hell of a time! madamef, they're 8 and 3 and the 3 year old, in particular, is going through a full on testerone surge which means he can literally spend 45 minutes at a time running up and down the length of the house at full speed, bouncing off the doors at either end. At the same time he's pulling everything off every flat surface in between. While shouting 'that's hilarious'.

It seems I'm going to have to bring on the bribery heavy guns for the next couple of weeks, mind. I learn today that DH's projected work trip to Japan (slated for next week) actually starts on Thursday and means he won't be back until late on Saturday 30th. Along with the fact that he spent all of two hours at home yesterday and didn't get back from work until 10pm this will mean the kids have not seen him for nearly all 4 weekends this january. Including the saturday of DS1's birthday. I'm a tolerant woman, but this is too fucking much. The only reason DH still has his testicles is that he feels the same way - we just need to figure out how to get him out of this groove. Preferably well before June

gizmo really feel for you,hope your DH gets it sorted soon.

Yesterday-shittest day ever,hormones raging,huge row with DH,sick DS2,9 hour shift,no sleep til after 1a.m due to being unable to switch off from shittest day

Today-brilliant,shopping in small market town with lovely sister,full breakfast,beautiful vintage maternity dress purchased(think, a pg Margot from The Good Life!) and DH on the phone from work being lovely(gizmo he too would quite like to keep his testicles) and DS2 much better,aaaaand relax

S'true, LittleR, isn't it? We're only ever 24 hours away from happiness.

I shall channel Scarlett O Hara for a while: that, and bribery on an industrial scale, shall be the two central planks of my 'survive January' plan.

Evening everyone - I sort of joined at the beginning but my mobile broadband couldn't cope very well with MN so have only just been able to get back on properly I don't think I'll catch up on 900+ posts so I will quietly lurk until I get the jist of it all Have put my revised details on the last list I could see

27th-3rd - ScaredofEverything, 33, #2
30/05 GoodName, 31, #1
31/05 RnB, 31, #3
31/05 dinosaurinmybelly (DIMB), 37, #3 GIRL
31/05 - mampam, 30 #3
1st - Washersaurus , 33, #3
1st - ELM, 29, #2
1st - bambino02, 23, #2
1st - whenwillisleepagain, 42 #2
1st - PogueMahone, 35, #3
2nd - scrappydappydoo, #3
2nd - MrsGravy, 33, #3
2nd - meggymegmegs, 31, #1
2nd - Justbeme , 41 #3
3rd - nickytwotimes, 35, #2
3rd - Tafftaff, 36, #2
3rd - Jenba, ?, #3
4th - minimoonumbertwo, 33, #2
4th - madamefreckle, 34,#2
4th - sunshiney, 34, #2
5th - Dizzymac, 35 No.3
6th - AlwaysHopefull, 35, #2
6th - zumm, 37, #1
7th - LittleRobbo, 34, #3
7th - MrsC09, #1
7th - mumandlovingit, 28 #3
7th/11th - PorridgeBrain, 34, no. 2
8th - Tobermory, #2
8th- Saucepanman, 31, #4
8th - MrsAlwaysRight 31, #2
9th - greensnail, 27, #2
10th - charlottew 32, #1
10th - upsydaisysexstylist #3
11th - woofie, 33, # 2
12th - UnrequitedSkink, 33, no. 2
12th - Rangemaster 29, #3
12th - Georgee, 38, #1
12th - Fabi76, 33 #1
13th - ChairmumMiaow, 29, #2
13th - sobloodystupid, 34, #3
14th - Cadmum, 38, #5
14th - Fillybuster, 35, #3
15th - MummyWantsANewBag, #2
15th - Ponymum, 41, # 2
15th Millymollymoo, ?, #4
16th - NizzyNoodles, 35, #3
17th - Bluesnowfalcon 28 #1
17th - Summerhols, 31, #1
17th - chestnut100, #1
18th - theperfectbaguette 34 #1
19th - Ladyemmalou83, 26 #1
20th - addictedtofrazzles, 33, #2
21st - Gizmo, 39, #3
22nd - gaelicsheep, 33, #2
23rd - GinaFB, #1 - scanned
23rd - Sunshineday 39 #5
23rd? - Spudthescarecrow #3
23rd - Earlyonemorning, 35, #4,
23rd - SecretLemonadeDrinker, 23, #3
24th - GibberingGinger #2+3
25th - Ilovemyterrier, 38 #1
25th - readysetgo, #1
26th - Celery, 34 #4
26th - herewegrow 31 #2
26th - imkeepingmum, #1,
27th - Stac14, 30 #2 -
27th - muchchocolate, #2
27th - nikkisbump #1
28th - diznom 32 #1
29th - CantSleepWontSleep, 36, no3
29th - MrsDmamee #3
29th - MumfieMagic, 37 #1,
29th - playftseforme, no 2 + 3
29th - JBroRo, 30 #1.
30th - Monthlymayhem, 34, no. 2
30th - MonkeyMargot, 35, #2+3
30th - LaTrucha, 36, #2

Wow - so many posts!!! Welcome to all the newbies!

I can't remember everything that everyone's said but the general advice about older sibling and baby seems to follow what we did. I had DD2 at home so DD1 had stayed the night with Grandparents and came round to see her new baby after breakfast. They'd obviously been talking about the baby as she barged right past us and went straight over to her new sister and patted her on the head, then went off with her new Doodles the dog that her baby sister had bought her.

meggymegmegs I like my bugaboo chameleon - especially as I'll be using it for my 3rd so I've got value for money! It's so easy to steer - either around the shops or through the sleet and snow last week. The only thing I'm not so keen on is the fact it that it folds down into 2 pieces and can take up quite a lot of space in the boot. The Jane twin is much heavier than the bugaboo but it's nice to be able to use a twin buggy that can get through doors etc. If you think of any other questions then let me know.

First day back in work for ages and I've forgotten how tiring it is!! Oh well - 15 weeks and counting until I finish....

Hello everyone!
Gosh there's been a lot of posting going on.
Finally told my boss today my news of being PG. He was very sweet about it. At least I can stop hiding my tummy now!

LaTrucha we also have no family nearby. A good friend whom we share our nanny with has offered to have DD1 when I'm in hospital, but I'm concerned that I may have to have a CS since it's twins, so may have to get my mum down to stay for a few days.
I love all the stories of the elder siblings reaction to the new baby. Not sure what DD1 will think - at 19 months old we won't really be able to explain it to her. But she does love all babies, and pats and kisses them so hoping she will be happy by her new siblings.
Meggymegs agree with nizzynoodles that the Bugaboo Chameleon is brill. Expensive, but brill. Also holds it value well if you wish to resell it later (and buy double buggie if you have 2 DC's close together).

gizmo that is so tough with your DH being away so much. His job sounds very demanding (though probably not as demanding as being home alone with 2 DC's!) I am very lucky that DH is self-employed and around a lot.

Yay nizzy well done on starting the maternity leave countdown If you have 15 wks left that means i am 14 wks away woohoo!!

Hi all!
I'm just so fed up of being itchy now, I'm constantly scratching. Have an appointment at the hospital on thursday so will see what my bloods are doing then in the meantime I'll just have to keep on covering myself in aqueous cream and try not to go bonkers!

I've also been wondering how best to introduce DD to the new baby. She'll be 17 months when the baby is born so although we've been telling her all about the baby I don't think she'll really understand. She's not really interested in small babies at all at the moment, doesn't seem to notice them at all, even if you point them out to her. She's far too interested in watching what the big children are doing!

Hey everyone!

I'm making a note of all the tips on introducing dd to new babies, one thing I'm doing now is getting dd's new "big girl" room ready (we'll need her current room for the two on the way), so she doesn't feel evicted nearer the time.

Gizmo - if you want to gripe about your dh, I'm your perfect audience. My dh has been away more often than not since August (miracle I ever got pregnant ), has currently been away since start of Jan, only due back for 4.5 days at end of month, and actually intends to be away until beg. of May. Can't work out if he's just naive or stupid. I've lost count of the times I've asked him to prioritise us over work just this once - there's no getting through . So hey ho....

Brilliant suggestions on how to introduce baby to older sibling: Fillybuster you are a total legend. Thank you. I've been taking notes.

GinaFB - I read quite a few books before ds as felt totally out of control and they did help me gain a sense of control at the same time as contradicting eachother on occasions. However, after a few months I barely ever picked them up as I'd got more used to the unpredictability of having a baby and was able to wing it with the help of a few die hard pieces of advice i'd discovered. My fave one is to try not to let a child under 4 months stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a stretch - they get overtired and can then be a nightmare to settle. That worked for me brilliantly.

Playftseforme / Gizmo: Must be really tough at times for you - I really rely on dp taking ds off my hands for a bit at the end of the day and for a few hours on a saturday morning. Having said that, I do very often wish he wasn't here so much! . I like having the place to myself in the evenings but it very rarely happens. I think there must be an ideal where you have a few days / nights apart a month. (Or just have a house big enough to really escape from eachother!!)

P.S. Why can I NEVER go to bed before midnight????? What time does everyone else hit the sack?

LittleRobbo I've got to use up all my annual leave before my actual maternity leave starts so it's 15 weeks until I finish work but 20 weeks until my maternity leave "officially" starts 2 weeks before my due date.

playftsforme We moved DD1 into her big girl bed before DD2 arrived so that she didn't feel like the baby was taking her cot. It seemed to go ok as she had no problems with the baby taking "her" bed or anything. Not sure what we'll do this time as DD2 will be 21 months so not quite as old as DD1 was.

I have a huge bump now and it's annoying me because I can see people expect me to be a lot further on than I actually am so when I say 19 weeks they look at my bump and seem very surprised!!! (Sorry to anyone who's not got a bump yet and really wants one!) I don't think I'm quite ready to look this pregnant - how big will I be in a few more months??????

MadameF I was in bed at 8.30 on saturday . More normally it's 10.30/11 but a particularly exciting Georgette Heyer means I'm often reading until 11.30 at the moment. Check out my racy lifestyle .

LittleR/Nizzy You've really shocked me with the maternity leave countdowns at less than 20 weeks: I hadn't even thought about it, and if I do I'm gonna seriously panic - this year was looking b**dy busy before I fell pregnant. I shall just have to stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalala.

Thanks for support re DH stuff: PlayFTSE I suspect I have it easier than you because a) I work with DH: I can see that's it really necessary and unavoidable and b) I know he doesn't like it any more than I do and I trust that he'll do all he can to end this situation. He cancelled a thing he had on last night to spend some time with us, and although in the end we spent a happy family hour taking the washing machine apart to extract a sock from the pump, it was a bonding thing .

I definitely second madamefreckle's advice about not letting a small baby stay awake for more than 2 hours during the day. This is the only bit of routine we had in the early days and worked brilliantly for us too.

My bedtimes these days can be anything from 8.30 to 11.30 (when i'm not working).

NizzyNoodles We've also been considering the move to a big bed for DD. She's only 12 months at the moment so seems too young really to be out of a cot, but there's 17 months between me and my brother too and apparently he vacated the cot at about 15 months to make way for me! My mum said it was the best thing they could have done as he slept much better in his bed than the cot, and consequently I was moved to a big bed at 12 months (and also slept well in it apparently). I'm still a bit unsure about moving DD though, as she loves her cot and sleeps so well in it, but really don't want to be buying a second cot unless I really need to.

Filly i am definately going to follow your lead re introducing new baby to DS2

Greensnail i've been considering buying big bed for DS2 before baby arrives,he is 19 months now,i wasnt sure if it was too early but i think we will give it a shot.

Madamefreckle I am in bed for 9ish generally,because by 8.30 i am whacked,i wish i could stay up later,but i am obsessed with getting as much sleep as possible,dull i know!

Gizmo the thought of working AND living with my DH fills me with horror,i would kill him by the end of the first week for sure!

Hi everyone, I'm loving all the suggestions of how to introduce a new baby to their siblings. Fortunately I don't have that problem as my DC's (10 and 6) are old enough to completely understand what is going on and are there every step of the way with me. They even know all the gory details!!

I'm sat here having a bit of a pathetic hormonal cry at the moment. The reason being that when I last saw midwife (16/12/09) she was supposed to refer me for physio for my SPD. I have since heard nothing about it, meanwhile I'm in agony, can't walk anywhere hardly and am finding it really difficult to sleep as it's so painful when I'm in bed and turning over is agony. I phoned the community MW switchboard just now to get hold of her but she isn't on duty until Monday. I told the woman on the phone that I hadn't heard about my physio so she took my NHS number to check and said that no referral for physio has been made!!

Obviously I've been forgotten about and left in limbo to deal with this pain on my own. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I dread going to bed as it's so uncomfortable. I think I'm going to have to start sleeping on the sofa. Bl**dy hell why do these things always happen to me?!!

Oh Mampam can you go to your gp? Your gp should be able to refer you shouldn't they?

mampam you poor thing thats dreadful. Would a GP referral for physio be as good?

mampam what did the midwife on the phone suggest you do? I would have been asking her to make me an urgent referral there and then. I would phone up your GP surgery now and ask to speak to a doctor to get them to refer you ASAP. Try and push to speak to a doctor on the phone if they allow this as you really shouldn't have to drag yourself into the surgery for a referral that should have been made weeks ago. I know my GP surgery have a duty doctor who can take phone calls and sort out this kind of thing for you, but the receptionists don't always tell you this unless you ask to speak to a doctor specifically or tell them there's no way you can wait for an appointment.
It might be worth phoning the physio department directly to see if you can get some advice from them while you're waiting for your referral to come through. Good luck!

mampam no advice I'm afraid, but lots of sympathy from me, hope you get your referral sorted.

NizzyNoodles and MonkeyMargot thanks for the Bugaboo advice - may have to see if I can twist dh's arm that it's worth spending that bit extra or else ask posh friends if they know of anyone flogging one 2nd hand .

Hey Meggymegs - where RU based? I've got a lovely 2nd hand bugaboo chameleon crying out for a new owner. Kept it in fab condition (cos I'm funny like that), hoping one day to use again... Black base and fabric

Oh Mampam, what a nightmare. I agree with the others, the GP does sound like the best option. When I had it really bad last time, I was given some decent (but safe) painkillers to take which really helped me to get over the worst. Have you tried using a band round your hips for support - might help in bed (apologies if you've already tried this and it's not working ).

Gizmo - without wishing to get into a 'who's got it worst' battle , i agree with LittleRobbo - I definitely couldn't work with my dh (or not so "d"h as he's now known in these parts)

Thanks everyone for the fab advice on introducing the baby, might have to print these out so i don't forget!!

Back to skin products - have just discovered Keihls (10 years after everyone else I know!) and there is a cleanser & day cream which has totally sorted my skin out. If anyone is in SW London the shop on Northcote Road has a kind of child room at the back with lots of toys so ds was kept amused while i had a little skin consultation! filly i also use the waitrose bottom butter when things get desperate but find it's a bit oily for everyday - smells divine though.

Next scan is on Friday - woop woop i am so excited - my latest idea is to get the sonographer to write the sex down for us and we'll open it on dh's birthday at romantic restaurant on Monday night - is that really sad??

Gizmo I do work with my DP and my Dad!! I am my DP's boss though so its fine!!

Oh Mampam, you poor thing, that's just unbelievable. Surely your GP can make an emergency referral? You've got far too much on your plate without being able to move as well.

Ha at playftse and LittleR it has its moments, definitely! Fortunately we don't do much together, and I think we both respect each other's contribution, so we just about pull it off. And it really cuts out a lot of hassle in co-ordinating diaries. I'm not sure being the boss of him would work so well, Gina, you must have a very solid relationship .

Exciting all these scans: my next one is 2nd February. After that it's next stop: giving birth. Eeek.