Becoming bulgy! June-oh what I mean? (June part 2)

[madamefreckle]

Hello everyone! Welcome to the second thread! Hope you are happy enough that I've gone ahead with this title! If not, I won't be mortally offended if you ditch it and start again!

Here is the list - hope it is more or less up-to-date. Apologies if you're missing, please add yourself on. Pogue - we don't have you on here. Scared - are you still around? Perhaps you've moved to the May thread. Let us know how you're doing.

27th-3rd - ScaredofEverything, 33, #2
30/05 GoodName, 31, #1
1st - Washersaurus , 33, #3
1st - ELM, 29, #2
1st - bambino02, 23, #2
1st - mampam, 29 #3
1st - whenwillisleepagain, 42 #2
2nd - scrappydappydoo, #3
2nd - MrsGravy, 33, #3
3rd - nickytwotimes, 35, #2
3rd - RnB, 31, #3
3rd - Tafftaff, 36, #2
4th - minimoonumbertwo, 33, #2
4th - madamefreckle, 33, #2
4th - sunshiney, 34, #2
5th - greensnail, 27, #2
5th - Dizzymac, 35 No.3
6th - AlwaysHopefull, 35, #2
6th - zumm, 37, #1
7th - LittleRobbo, 34, #3
7th - MrsC09, #1
7th - mumandlovingit, 28 #4
8th - Tobermory, #2
8th- Saucepanman, 31, #4
9th - Woofie, 33, #2
10th - charlottew 32, #1
10th - fillybuster 35, #3
10th - upsydaisysexstylist #3
11th - PorridgeBrain, 34, no. 2
12th - UnrequitedSkink, 33, no. 2
12th - Rangemaster 29, #3
11th - Fabi76, #1
13th - ChairmumMiaow, 29, #2
13th - sobloodystupid, 34, #3
14th - Cadmum, 38, #5
14th ? MrsAlwaysRight, 31 #2
15th - MummyWantsANewBag, #2
15th - Ponymum, 41, # 2
17th - Bluesnowfalcon 28 #1
17th - theperfectbaguette 34 #1
17th - muchchocolate #2
18th - Horton 40 #2
19th - Ladyemmalou83, 26 #1
19th - Georgee 37 No 1
21st - Gizmo, 39, #3
22nd - GinaFB, #1
23rd - Sunshineday 39 #5
23rd - GibberingGinger 33 #2
23rd? - Spudthescarecrow #3
24th - imkeepingmum, #1
25th - Ilovemyterrier, 38 no1
25th - readysetgo, #1
26th - Celery, 34 #4
28th - CantSleepWontSleep (HappyAccident),
36, no3
29th - MrsDmamee #3
30th - Monthlymayhem, 34, no. 2

Welcome Sunworshipper

Feeling for you GaelicSheep - worrying's exhausting isn't it? I hope the placenta explanation from everyone has made you feel better ... Anyway, hoping for a lot of movement for you in the next few days to put your mind completely at rest.

I rarely stop worrying - I'm quite an anxious/over-thinking sort anyway and I think the hormones make it worse - plus the fact I'm a bit older (38) and think this might be my only chance (I know, it's silly, sorry). The latest worry is all the lugging around of (sometimes quite heavy) bags I have to do (I travel a lot between Scotland and London) - lifting's OK though isn't it? Isn't the idea that you'd do more harm to yourself than the baby? This worry is top of mind just because I'm in a train heading North and have just lifted my case onto the luggage rack which wasn't easy. Tomorrow it'll be something else!

I've got my next scan on Monday. We are going to find out the gender - mostly cos of Dad who's knocking on a bit and had a stroke before Christmas. He's pretty much recovered but I just want him to know, so if the worst happens we can say to the LO 'your Granddad knew you were a boy/girl'. See, I told you I was a worrier!

I don't have any ideas for girl's names (apart from Isla - but it's quite popular these days, no?). I love Ellen but that doesn't go well with our surname. While I'm pondering girls, here's my shortlist for boys:

James
George
Michael (tho we'll have to avoid 'George Michael' as a first/second name combo ...)
Archie

DH is quite keen on 'Malcolm' ... I think it's the Scottish connection ... I'm trying to steer him away!

Actually, another one for a girl is Maggie - it's my sister's name. She's originally Margaret but I think Maggie is nice. Ooh, and Fay's another one.

Hope you all have a fab weekend

Jeez i was only on here yesterday!!!

Welcome sunworshipper and many many congratulations

Madamefreckle you have my name on your list (Ellen) but please dont let that put you off I've always been more than happy with it!

gaelicsheep try not to worry,my midwife says my placenta is also at the front which is why its been difficult to find heartbeat the past couple of times.

Welcome meggymegmegs and congratulations

nizzynoodles having 2 boys so far i get 'told' all the time i want a girl,and i say yes i want a baby girl,but not a teenage one!! Especially if she would be as bad as i was growing up (bloody good fun though

Still sore from CantSleep's slap

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I phoned the community midwife today and explained and she's quite happy to check me again - in fact she booked me in for tomorrow. I'm not too worried, but it's awful to have it at the back of the mind. What's the betting she won't find it either, but I guess if they're concerned then they can do more checks. Ironically, though, I thought I felt the baby move while I was on the phone with her!

Chestnut100 - interestingly, when I spoke to the midwife she said that it was their policy (as opposed to the GP's obviously) not to listen to the heartbeat at this check. Simply to avoid people going through this kind of worry. So maybe they did you a favour?

Welcome meggymegmegs and Sunworshipper! To answer meggymeg's question. I'm still in normal clothes, sort of. What's happened is that I'm fitting into clothes that I shrunk out of over a period of 2 years after having DS (went from a 12 down to an 8 - the last time I was an 8 was when I got married 10 years go). Two skirts that I used to have to pinch in with a safety pin are now fitting perfectly again, and my bust has improved as well so everything looks better on me! It's a good thing too because I can't fit into my jeans or work trousers any more and all the maternity trousers I've tried on are huge! I don't think I was that big even at 9 months with DS.

Welcome Meggymeg and Sunworshipper Meggymeg, I'm 20 weeks (with #2) and have got a proper biggish bump. - Much sooner than last time although before 1st pregancy i was a size 8 fitness-freak and i'm now a size 12 and only not unfit due to hectic small boy. None of my normal trousers, except tracky-bums, fit me and although i look gross in my maternity clothes, i'm finding them a lot more comfortable.

Whenwillisleepagain Congrats with news of lovely little nose-picking girl. 18th May - Sounds like you may well be the first of the lot of us to pop then!

Gaelicsheep - Good luck tomorrow - at least midwife is being helpful. I know it's v. frequent not to be able to hear at 16 weeks but it definitely puts your mind at rest.

LittleRobbo - Ellen is actually top of our list! Sounds possibly a bit too sim to son's name but maybe that's ok and maybe that's one of the reasons i like it.

welcome Clet i also feel i wasted some time being unhappy after ds1,mainly due to being quite young and in an unstable relationship,but i think i have more than made up for it now,and ds1 is growing up fabulously
Re; exercise, i havent done any at all either,however next week i am going to start aquanatal classes,mainly to try and counteract the chocolate intake [hmmm]

Welcome to all newbies

I too feel sad for the time I lost/wasted when DS was a baby. To be honest I can't really remember DS's first year at all. All I remember is the birth because it was so painful/traumatic. I remember being taken to theatre to be stitched up and didn't get to hold/see DS for the first 3 hours of his life. He was sleepy by the time I came back and didn't feed properly until the following evening when he more than made up for it!! I remember sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed feeding him whilst watching the sun set on Torbay. I was still sat in the chair feeding when the sun rose too. He was a hunry little munchkin and still is to this day.

I feel so guilty for not remembering anything else when he was a baby. I don't remember his 1st birthday. I remember DD's like it was yesterday and that was 10 years ago.

It was during this time that my anxiety problems started. I was diagnosed with PND which basically presented itself in the form of severe anxiety and panic attacks. It was awful and I'm sure that was a major factor in the beginning of the end of my first marriage. Not my fault this was happening to me but exH couldn't handle it I don't think. He was an insensitive b**tard and me feeling like that meant he wasn't getting full attention/sex that he wanted. It took him 3 days to ask how my first counselling session went and that was only because I was so annoyed with him.

DD was a dream child, slept through the night from 7 weeks old and was very placid. DS was still waking up 3 times a night at a year old and was a very demanding child. ExH couldn't handle it. I needed help with DS and he couldn't handle it. It interfered with his life of football and his mates too much.

Thank god I've met and married a man who is the complete opposite to Ex. He/we have had our problems but we are in this together and are so looking forward to having this baby and being the parents that my poor DS should have had when he was a baby.

I think I'm going to find out sex this time round (scan is a long 4 weeks away!). We didn't find out last time, and when DS was born we only had one boy's name we agreed on (Lewis). Boy's names I also liked but DS vetoed were Luca and Gabriel (although sneaked it in as DS middle name). This time round if it's a boy, I like Hayden, but struggling for any others. Girls-wise we like Freya, Amelie, Rebecca, Kayla and Sophie.

Can't remember who was asking about Scottish sounding names, but here are some more:

Girls - Isla, Iona, Flora, Ailsa, Alexis, Bonnie, Enya
Boys - Cameron, Harris, Rory, Ruaraidh (pronounced 'Roory'), Euan, Douglas, Macintosh, Hamish.
There's lots more in this site : www.ourbabynames.co.uk/scotlandgirl.php?pg=3

For those of you worried about not feeling movements etc, the best thing I bought last time round was a doppler called Angel Sounds ($20 on Ebay). It's very easy to use, and you can use it from 12 weeks. Last time round it just gave me a bit of comfort before I started feeling movements, and also later on if baby hadn't been moving much.

I had a fairly horrible first six months with DS, when he just constantly seemed to scream, didn't sleep, and breast feeding was a complete and utter battle (although we stuck with it for 7 months). My main worry was that he was such an unhappy little baby and he always would be. We tried everything - from colic remedies to a cranial osteopath and nothing worked. It got better at 6 months, and gradually better as DS started to get mobile. He is now the happiest, cheekiest boy you could possibly imagine and although he has his moments, it seems hard to believe how he started out. I just think he was frustrated being a baby, and is still quite a headstrong little boy.

The mistake I made first time round was reading too many baby books, and expecting that I would be able to 'manage' a baby, in the same way I would manage a work project. This time round I want to try and be much more relaxed and go with the flow. And if it is another screamer, at least I know there is light at the end of the tunnel

Crikey, that was a long post - sorry!

Just a quick update. Went to see community midwife today at the labour ward. She found the heartbeat first time. 114 beats per minute, clear as day.

Welcome to Clet!

GaelicSheep (interesting name - bet there's a story behind that!) that's great news. Of course now you've heard the heartbeat you're going to get nothing but wriggling for the next 5 months!

DH came home from skiing this evening and not a moment too soon as we had had a rather fraught day stuck at home, with me snappy and the boys pushing things rather. At the moment it seems that I have to be continually on the verge of screaming at them for them to behave themselves: all other techniques of reward and penalty just get bulldozed by their energy and exuberance. Even more annoying, DH gets 100% better behaviour with 50% of the volume: I swore that I would never fall into the pattern of 'Dad as discipline' but at the moment that's just where we're heading. Too tiring.

On the bright side, he instantly picked up the reins and I am now just waiting for him to finish reading a story to DS1 before eating the dinner he's sorted out. So recovery is just around the corner.

Welcome to Clet and Sunworshipper - I thought I was going to have the summer solstice all to myself, but I tell you what: I'll budge up, you've blummin' well earned your place.

Hi all, can I join?

Barbeasty, 17th June, 30, #1

I've been lurking for months but, now I've told my boss and direct reports (who kindly told me it was obvious...), the faintest risk of someone finding out doesn't matter!

I've got my 20 week scan on the 28th, and had the (late!) mid-wife appointemnt last week- not my usual midwife as she couldn't make it through the snow, but one of her colleagues had no problems listening to the heartbeat.

I enjoyed reading all the name suggestions. Florence for a girl is lovely, but we were there for a few days in September so it might hold embarrassing connotations if we used it

fillybuster yes, they go up to your size. Link here - underwired nursing bras

welcome barbeasty and anyone else I haven't said hi to yet.

Too tired after 3 night shifts to say anything intelligent so off to discuss baby names instead!

Hi Clet and Barbeasty! - See what you mean about Florence - you would get some knowing looks, Barbeasty!

Really glad you heard the heartbeat Gaelicsheep.

DS really kneed me in the bump with some force yesterday and since then i've had masses of movement - which i'll take as a good sign! It felt like she (ooh, feels weird using a gender specific pronoun!) had hiccoughs for the first time.

Gizmo - How old are your ds's? Your sentence: All other techniques of reward and penalty just get bulldozed by their energy and exuberance. is so brilliant - it perfectly describes my attempts at controlling my 3 year old at the moment. Glad to hear that your DH is back and doing his job!

Why oh why is it monday again tomorrow? I had so many good intentions for this weekend: Writing / making with ds all of his birthday and Christmas thank you cards (long overdue); sorting out all non-preg clothes and putting into loft (i'm drowning in a chaotic ocean of clothes); doing lots of planning for next week (that'll be another late night tonight then)... the list goes on....

madamefreckle - i couldn't agree more about the disapearing weekend! Why doesn't Monday and Tuesday pass so quickly?!

Just wanted to get some reassurance from you ladies; i notice most of you seem to be feeling baby moving. I'm 18+3 and haven't felt a thing, and trust me, I am trying my best to notice! I know it's my first, so it could take longer, but am starting to feel a little anxious about it. Anyone the same, or have words of advice?!

chestnut - I looked in my diary from when I was pg with DS (my first) and it looks like it was 22 weeks before I reliably felt anything. Am only really feeling this one move consistently in the last few days (at 20 weeks. now 20.5).

monthlymayhem - wanted to agree totally with your view on having read too many baby books last time around. When I see pregnant women stocking up on them in the bookshop, I really have to restrain myself from snatching the whole lot and putting them back on the shelf. There is one book that DH and I put in the recycling during our last purge as we didn't even want to take it round to to the oxfam shop to make someone else feel inadequate and bewildered.

Evening all. Am dead on my feet tonight, so just a quick one.

Hello and welcome to all the newcomers .

Chestnut - I think I was about 21 weeks before I felt my dd, and prob around 19 weeks for my ds, and am not entirely sure if I've felt anything this time, but if I have then it's only been very occasional, so I really don't think that you have anything to worry about at this point with your first. And how early/late you feel can also depend on the position of your placenta - if it's at the front then it can soften the blows so that you don't feel them so early (my 2 were both at the back).

From your name list, can I just check that you would spell Daisy the normal way, and that your additional e was a typo? If not, then I would personally not choose that name. I like Frankie as a nn for a girl - would she be Francesca in full?
The thing to consider is whether you would feel comfortable shouting your child's name across the shop floor in Tesco/Twatrose. I would struggle a little with Stanley, but do know 2 little ones with this name, and their parents are obviously fine with that. Would you be?

thanks for the last two reassuring posts!
Cantsleepwontsleep - Daisy would be the normal way;the e was defintely a typo!

Stanley was originally our fave; we would probably shorten to Stan, but it has dropped down the list a bit. I think our plan may well be to have 5 or 6 names we like, and then just to wait until we see the baby and decide what seems to suite him or her the most!

Chestnut - I only just started feeling flutters a few weeks ago (at 18 1/2 weeks) but movement seems to have really got going in the past few days. This is my second and I really don't think i felt anything definite before 22 weeks or so with ds. You have no need to worry.

CantSleepWontSleep - the shouting name across supermarket/playground test is a good one. We were really pro Hugo for our first for AGES but everytime I practised calling out 'Hugo!' - (it has to be done) - my voice just sounded too insanely plummy and it totally put me off. Still think it's a nice name but not the way my voice makes it sound!

Thank you for making space on the midsummer date Gizmo. It's always been a dream to have a June baby - all those wonderful outdoor birthday parties to look forward to(as long as they don't suffer from hayfever).

Chestnut100 I am 18 weeks tomorrow but haven't felt anything yet but like you it's my first so I'm not sure what to look or 'feel' out for.

Is anyone else finding their boobs agonising in the cold weather at the moment? Even if I'm all wrapped up, the moment they sense the cold it feels like someone is sticking a red hot poker into them and it lasts for quite a while.

Thanks for the warm welcome.

Hope you all had lovely weekends...agree it all went far too quickly, although I think I managed to get some stuff done (not too sure what it was now though...pg brain has kicked in with full force !)

Welcome sunworshipper and clet (and anyone else...sorry...see above comment on brain!). chestnut and sunworshipper I also didn't feel any movement with ds1 until waay later - it was around 22/23 weeks and it took the enormous brass bands parading in the streets of Seville for Semana Santa at midnight underneath our balcony to elicit a response from ds!! I felt dd from about 19/20 weeks and this one from about 16/17 so I think its something you just get more sensitive to over time, maybe.

Gizmo - I know what you mean about patience and manageability. But I wonder if some of that is because you are there so can be ignored, whilst your dh has been away so gets more a response now he is back? When all else fails, I find bribery is a great last resort

LittleRobbo - lol@ the teenage girl comment...from what I can tell, girls are 'harder' from 0-7, boys from 7-14, and teenagers are generally a nightmare whichever way you cut it! Having been (according to my mum) a 'perfect child up to the age of 12' followed by a bloody nightmare teen, at least I feel equipped to deal with whatever comes. Or as my mother used to say to me..."I've been there, I've got the t-shirt, in fact, I wrote the book..."

Gaelicsheep - so glad you got that sorted

Monthlymayhem - interesting assessment, and I think you're right. Because I'm both a control freak and a last-minute-dot-com type of person, I didn't have time to read loads of books before ds was born (anyway, was working on a huge project until 39.5 weeks ) so only had time to flick through Gina Ford (but decided it was too bossy) and buy (but not read) the Baby Whisperer, which friends had recommended. After 3 out-of-control days at home with a new baby and no clue what we were doing, dh sat down and 'mastered' the Baby Whisperer (in true legal-eagle style with lots of colour coded post its for easy reference ) and we just rolled with that. I have to say, it worked brilliantly (a good combination of sensible advice and not too rigid structure which worked for me) and both my dcs responded really well, which gave me a semblance of control. Having said that, a good friend from NCT went through about 25 books (literally) in the first 15 weeks and was increasingly frustrated as none of them could give her the sense of control and order she was looking for....so she felt even more out of control than if she had just trusted her instincts and relaxed a bit more. Most of these books play on our massive insecurities as first/second/third/whatever time parents, especially in a more fragmented society where we don't spend lots of time around babies until we have our own. So, even though I found (and still find) the BW fantastically helpful, I still think that all baby-care related books should have a great big "HANDLE WITH CARE" label attached

Sorry, unexpected rant now over!

Whenwillisleep - hurrah for the good scan and at the nose picking!

Ages to go until my next scan as UCH prefer to run them at 22 weeks rather than 20...so although I'm 19 weeks today I need to wait until Feb 12 to see fillyflump again. But its happily doing somersaults in my middle, so I assume everything is ok

...oops, forgot to say, greensnail I think I might love you forever for that link....I don't think I went above a G cup either time previously so hurrah!! will add it to my bookmarks now

And sunsworshipper - super sensitive norkage going on here too...especially noticable in the cold and when the water hits in the shower!!

Thanks for the lovely welcome everyone. Hi Sunworshipper and Barbeasty

Going through the big pram debate at the moment with dh. NizzyNoodles i notice you have a Bugaboo - are they worth all the hype or what? What's the Jane like? It's so hard to know where to even start. Have any of you 2nd/3rd time mums got any good advice?

gaelicsheep delighted for you, that must have been such an amazing moment when you heard the heartbeat this time.

Sunworshipper I know exactly what you mean on the boob front, I have to restrain myself from holding them sometimes at my desk at work. Plus they have gone up 2 cup sizes already so now I'm an F cup .

Hello all!

Finally back at work after 2 weeks off with the Swine Flu! Still feel rubbish but though I should come back in!!

Monthlymayhem I have bought a couple of books inc Gina Ford, What to Expect and am waiting for the Baby Whisperer and still feel totally lost! I am hoping that instincts will kick in when the time comes!

Chestnut100 I am 18 wks on wed and haven't felt anything either, I did worry at the weekend but have come to terms with the fact that its probably too early!

Hello to everyone new! I can't believe how many people there are on the list now!

Very excited about the 20 week scan now! MIL is on and on about making sure we call her ASAP once we know what it is so she can buy things.... does she think there is an alien in there or something....!

I have an appointment with a Consultant in February as I am still on AD's and the MW wanted me to have consultant led care. I have no idea what this means.... has anyone had experience of this?

Oh my sainted aunt. I've just managed my post-natal thread and there's housework to be done I can't catch up right now but wanted to say hello to you all.

GinaFB - I have consultant led care due to difficult last delivery. So far it has meant precious little, and I get the impression it varies. The consultant is supposed to look at all my notes (do they? dunno) and meet me at the 20 week scan. ALso, I get at least one extra scan at 36 weeks, which seems to be standard for those with consultant led care. Hope that helps a little.

We didn't read anything before Sabela was born. I just wanted to find my own way without anybody else's voices in my head. I think it was the right thing for me, although we did make what ~I now consider to be mistakes that made our life harder than necessary, mainly to do with being too watchful over her and perhaps waking her up wioth cuddles when she cried when she wasn;t really properly awake and might have settled.

I didn't want to read books as I remember sometime in the middle of my last pregnancy I googled a parenting 'issue' and the article I found started, 'There are two main arguments about (such and such)..' and I just thought, I want to enjoy this, I don't want to get involved in someone else's argument!

I do know more than one person who has burnt their baby books in the back garden out of pure hate after a month or two.

The only thing I would really like more information on this time is how to introduce the new baby and the older sibling (DD will be exactly 2 and a half). She is an affectionate and caring child, nuts about babies (there was one at her birthday party yesterday and she spent about 5 minutes just staring before asking if she could stroke him). She says she wants a baby to come and live with us, but obviously she has no idea what's going to hit!

We've thought about giving her a toy 'from' the baby and vice versa, and a couple more things I can't think of now. We also are a bit worried about how to handle the actual birth as we have NO family here - or who can come to look after her.

Any tips?

Just a quickie to reply to LaTrucha. My dd was 2.8 when ds arrived, so very similar to yours. Unfortunately I spent 6 days in hospital before coming home with ds (unsuccessful induction), so we did have grandparents to help then, so that dh could still come and drum his fingers with me, but for the final day a friend took dd out with her dd, and when they got home I was at home with ds. Be sure not to be holding the baby when they first meet, so that you can give your dd a cuddle. Ds bought dd a big dolls house when he was born (clever boy that he was ). I greeted dd outside, then brought her into the living room still holding her, and showed her her new baby brother in his moses basket. I then pointed out the present that he had bought her, and she wriggled out of my arms in excitement, and went to play with that!!! I also asked people who we knew would visit in the early days to make a fuss of dd before asking to see the baby, which I think helped, as she didn't feel like she was being overlooked in favour of him.