Becoming bulgy! June-oh what I mean? (June part 2)

[madamefreckle]

Hello everyone! Welcome to the second thread! Hope you are happy enough that I've gone ahead with this title! If not, I won't be mortally offended if you ditch it and start again!

Here is the list - hope it is more or less up-to-date. Apologies if you're missing, please add yourself on. Pogue - we don't have you on here. Scared - are you still around? Perhaps you've moved to the May thread. Let us know how you're doing.

27th-3rd - ScaredofEverything, 33, #2
30/05 GoodName, 31, #1
1st - Washersaurus , 33, #3
1st - ELM, 29, #2
1st - bambino02, 23, #2
1st - mampam, 29 #3
1st - whenwillisleepagain, 42 #2
2nd - scrappydappydoo, #3
2nd - MrsGravy, 33, #3
3rd - nickytwotimes, 35, #2
3rd - RnB, 31, #3
3rd - Tafftaff, 36, #2
4th - minimoonumbertwo, 33, #2
4th - madamefreckle, 33, #2
4th - sunshiney, 34, #2
5th - greensnail, 27, #2
5th - Dizzymac, 35 No.3
6th - AlwaysHopefull, 35, #2
6th - zumm, 37, #1
7th - LittleRobbo, 34, #3
7th - MrsC09, #1
7th - mumandlovingit, 28 #4
8th - Tobermory, #2
8th- Saucepanman, 31, #4
9th - Woofie, 33, #2
10th - charlottew 32, #1
10th - fillybuster 35, #3
10th - upsydaisysexstylist #3
11th - PorridgeBrain, 34, no. 2
12th - UnrequitedSkink, 33, no. 2
12th - Rangemaster 29, #3
11th - Fabi76, #1
13th - ChairmumMiaow, 29, #2
13th - sobloodystupid, 34, #3
14th - Cadmum, 38, #5
14th ? MrsAlwaysRight, 31 #2
15th - MummyWantsANewBag, #2
15th - Ponymum, 41, # 2
17th - Bluesnowfalcon 28 #1
17th - theperfectbaguette 34 #1
17th - muchchocolate #2
18th - Horton 40 #2
19th - Ladyemmalou83, 26 #1
19th - Georgee 37 No 1
21st - Gizmo, 39, #3
22nd - GinaFB, #1
23rd - Sunshineday 39 #5
23rd - GibberingGinger 33 #2
23rd? - Spudthescarecrow #3
24th - imkeepingmum, #1
25th - Ilovemyterrier, 38 no1
25th - readysetgo, #1
26th - Celery, 34 #4
28th - CantSleepWontSleep (HappyAccident),
36, no3
29th - MrsDmamee #3
30th - Monthlymayhem, 34, no. 2

Happy New Year everyone!

Happy New Year!!!

We already know that this year is going to be exciting!

Happy New Year everyone heres hoping its fabulous for all of us. Congratulations imkeepingmum what a lovely xmas prezzie for you

All good here,18 wks on Tuesday and just waiting 'patiently' to feel littlest Robbo wriggling around,i'm sure it wont be long now. I am buzzing off all the happy hormones at the moment,hope it lasts

HELP! I really don't know what to think/do. DH is on one. We had an argument this morning, well not really even an argument just a bit of a bicker really and now he is, well I can't really describe it. All my fears have come true, I've been walking on egg shells/ on tender hooks because I knew if we had a disagreement it would be like this after his breakdown.

He's written a note of his thoughts and it basically is blaming me and my dc's for everything. He feels lonely, his head is in a muddle and he wants to die all because of us. Why us? It doesn't seem to matter what his parents have done to him or other members of his family or the fact that he was abused as a child, it's us that have done this to him, not them.

I don't think I can deal with this, not right now whilst I am pregnant. The kids and I have put up with so much from him and he blames everyone else but himself. Oh god I'm sorry, I know I should have posted this elsewhere but I don't want to go through the whole tale again and I have no one in RL that I can talk to about it.

I thought 2010 was gonna be a better year than the shitty crap we had last year,it's already started off on the wrong foot. I'm not strong enough for all this.

hey - just found this link
i am due 9th june 2010!!!!!!!!

God mampam I'm sorry your going through such a nightmare. My mum had a nervous breakdown and for her drugs absolutly worked, but until they got the right combination she was suicidal for months. She's been on a reduced dose of them now for 10 years and I can honestly say that she is her happy normal self, BECAUSE of them.

Dont try and rationalise his argument - there's no point - he's depressed and so his logic is shot. Even though he may have real reasons for his depression - his abuse - dont assume that is the cause of this episode, though for god sake dont blame yourself.

I would call your/his doctor or even the Samaratin's, they can advise you of what to do in the immediate term. Maybe he needs hospitalising? It seems harsh and he'll probabably not want to do it - but if he's having suicidal thoughts then they have to be taken seriously.

The most important thing for him and the rest of the family is that he gets professional help asap. He probably isn't capable of doing it - so you're going to have to I'm afriad.

Good luck, I'm sorry your having to go through this.

mampam you poor thing - what a horrendous start to the year. Sorry I can't offer any advice as have no experience of this, but Baguette's advice of phoning your GP sounds wise.
Hello fluffybuttercup - congrats! Is this your first? I only found this thread a week ago but it's pretty fast-moving to say the least!

Mampam you can cope and you will. He needs help to sort this out, hope you have contacted GP/ hospital/ someone and are getting help right now. He's blaming you and the kids because you are the ones closest to him and so are the easiest target for his messed up mind. Please, please try not to take this to heart. Things will improve but he needs treatment and someone else needs to access this for him as he is not capable of seeing what the problem is. Are the friends who helped you before around? Sounds like they were a great support and maybe it would be better for another man to take him to the doctors or wherever he needs to go. He may be more accepting of this if he is seeing you as the problem at the moment. Please keep us updated on this thread, as i'm sure we're all thinking of you. Are the kids ok?

fluffybuttercup welcome! We have the same due date

mampam my thoughts are so with you right now,please dont apologise for talking to us about this,we are all here for each other ok? perfectbaguettes advice sounds absolutely bang on to me. I once phoned the samaritans,i was in a very dark place,it was soon after i had dh1,and honestly,it was the best thing i could have done,they are an amazing source of help,so when the kids are in bed and you have a moment to yourself why not give them a ring,it can only help. You are strong enough to cope with this,and things WILL get better for you and your family.

welcome fluffybuttercup you are due a day after me

mampam - can't offer any advice but hope it all improves for you
fluffybuttercup - hello and congratulations!

Happy New Year everyone. Ours started with the flu and a major decision. We are officially moving to Cambodia for a year starting mid-February. I hope it makes for an interesting (but safe) labour and delivery and not too challenging a time with passport issues.

Mampam: I am so sorry that things are seeming worse rather than better. Hang in there. Your dh is not really blaming you it is the depression talking. Once he is getting the proper help things should sort themselves out and he will deeply regret his words. Stay strong and keep venting here.

Welcome newbies. This has been a very welcoming and supportive thread.

hi everyone

Hope you all had a lovely xmas and new years x

ladyem how are you keeping? - I thoguht I'd lost rack of all the familiar names on here - it moves so fast I can't keep up and not good at posting regularly like everyone else seems to be.

I'm now 15+4 and saw mid wife new years day for 16 wk appointment before I go back to work morra. It was good to hear the babies heart beat cos now no longer feeling sick and less tired it's hard to believe that I'm pregnant at all apart from the fact that I'm growing a great belly!

Did your 12 week scan go ok? Is it 1? When's your 20 wk scan?

Anyway - hope everyone else has recovered from the xmas and new year madness! Take care all

Happy new year everyone! Hope you all had a lovely time over xmas...sorry I've been offline for 2 weeks but it seems to be easier to find time for MN when I'm at work than during full time family chaos at home!

We also stayed in with an indian on nye (and had a massive argument right around midnight about school fees ) so not the best start to 2010....but....but....then we got a whole 2 nights away in Brighton without the ankle-biters (Fri-Sun) which was completely and utterly wonderful and made up for everything...hurrah! Lots of lazing around reading books and papers, long walks along the beach, a mooch along the pier (without anyone whinging about wanting rides/sweets etc!)...bliss

Congratulations Imkeepingmum and welcome to all the twin-bumps....I can't believe how many of you there are!!

I'm firmly into maternity clothes now and have carefully removed almost all non-mat stuff from my wardrobe to limit clothes-crisis moments...picked up a few nice-ish bits in the Benetton and Gap sales in Brighton and was surprised to find some semi-acceptable items in my old maternity wardrobe so am coping ok although feeling a bit frumpy. Thank goodness for Topshop skinny maternity jeans

Definitely getting some 'wiggles' going on in my belly when flump gets active - but I'm pretty certain I'm only noticing it now (17 wks) because this is #3...I didn't feel ds until about 21 weeks and dd around 19 or so.

Mampam - I'm so sorry your dh is still struggling but you mustn't take it personally when he holds you responsible for his problems: he's depressed and pushing away the people closest to him is a natural response. Please get yourself as much help as possible....and (this might sound awful) you need to prioritise yourself and protecting your dcs, so if this starts affecting them very badly perhaps you should think about taking them to stay with family for a few weeks whilst your dh gets more help?

Sigh...back to work, guess I should get some done...

Happy New Year everyone!

Welcome to all the newbies and hope everyone is keeping well.

Just waiting to feel first proper kicks/flutters as I'm in that phase where I don't really feel pregnant apart from the fact I can't fit in my normal clothes!!

Happy New Year all!

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas.

Congratulations imkeepingmum. Welcome to the newbies.

Can't believe how many twins we have on this thread.

Going to have to tell work this week as I have quite a bump now. I only came back from maternity leave in Oct so am quite and a bit worried about telling my boss.

gosh Cadmum how exciting - tell me more - why cambodia??

HI all, havent posted in a bit with all sicknesses and bedrest etc..hectic few weeks here.

mampam so sorry you and your DH are having a tough time..as tough as it gets really as you need all the support you can get at the moment, make sure you reach out to your family/friends/ gp when days are rough and remember its the illness talking not your DH when he seems to blame others who only want the best for him.
he has no clue how to help himself, to clear his head which can be tough and from personal experience all you want to do is scream it all out and cry and any stress(even if its in your own head) makes you feel useless and worthless.
Make sure his GP is keeping in touch and if he is on meds to keep an eye on whether its helping, but it does take a while for any meds to take effect but if he has 1 good day out of 2 weeks then see that as a good sign.
But most of all look after yourself and take some time out 1/2 hour away for tea and a chat with a friend/family just to give yourself breathing space

herewegrow I'll hold your hand. I also have to tell work this week as i've been getting a lot of suspicious glances at my bump from colleagues. I only went back from mat leave in november

A rather belated Happy New Year. Like Fillybuster, I definitely find it harder to mumsnet when I'm on holiday, but back to the office today so a chance to catch up with all of you.

And Mampam, I'm so sorry things have taken a step backwards. His head is obviously shot to pieces and of course there's no logic in what he's thinking but it's surprising how much mental energy it can take to distance yourself from this sort of nonsense. Depression can be dangerously contagious in these situations - is it time to be discussing full scale antidepressants, do you think?

Welcome to all newcomers, and particularly the twinbearers. If I hadn't had 3 scans which all show just the one I'd be convinced I was joining you: I am huge - no chance of going without maternity clothes here. Poor DH bought me a glamorous jacket for christmas which was about the worst shape possible for a pregnant me, and I had the most depressing trip to John Lewis over the weekend trying to change it for something smart that could work over the next six months. Nothing doing, unfortunately, my head was not in the right place at all.

Unfortunately the shopping trip is a symptom of something a bit more deep seated: I'm struggling a bit with anxiety, which sometimes flares up up into full blown stressed out panic. I had a particularly bad day yesterday which meant I could hardly speak, as my head was so full of anger and panic I couldn't sort it into any order. It came with a wierd dissociation, where my conscious mind could see the emotions but couldn't begin to organise them so I could understand where they were coming from. So I chose not to say anything, rather than scream at DH, which was what my instincts wanted me to do.

Hopefully it will pass: I remember having a couple of wierd, shortlived depressive episodes when pregnant with DS2. It's really not helpful right now because there's a lot of serious life stuff that DH and I need to get sorted and I can't approach a conversation like this if I'm a great big ball of capped off stress and rage. Although a slightly smaller ball now I've written all that down

Gizmo - this is definitely a good place to lob that ball if it helps to get it under control and avoids you yelling at dh.

Sales shopping is horrid and stressful and icky at the best of times, but when pregnant....well, all I can say is that dh and I were having a luvverly time mooching around Brighton, hit the main pedestrianised street with all the 'posh' high street shops on (Jigsaw, Whistles, Reiss, French Connection, Hobbs, etc) in a long row: no big crowds and huge discounts. What did I do? Burst into tears ...because I couldn't buy anything!!! [sheepish emoticon] I launched into a big rant about souless high street shopping and how we should be exploring the independant shops in the Lanes instead...dh instantly agreed.

We rounded the corner, I spotted a Bennetton and spent 45 mins trying on maternity sales clothes

DH waited patiently, then took the piss mercilessly...

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that the sales can reduce even a confirmed die-hard shopper like me to utterly unreasonable emotional behaviour, so be gentle and kind to yourself.

It does make you feel sheepish, doesn't it? Shamingly, I'm sure a part of it is a reaction to a bunch of frankly duff christmas presents
However, there are other and more significant things going on: DH is swamped with work - meaning he has been very 'barky' for the past month. His parents were staying with us for 3 days before christmas and I had to insist he didn't spend all of those 3 days in the office, which went down like a lead balloon. We then had to cancel plans to see friends immediately after christmas and I went up to stay with my parents on my own, as he was stuck in the office. We got some normality back over New Year, when we were away with friends, but as soon as we got back to Cambridge we all got stressed and hair trigger again.

And I'm bizarrely anxious about this pregnancy - lots of small symptoms (heat palpitations, breathlessness, baby being quite still) that don't mean much are giving me the willies.

I know it's ridiculous - written down it's insignificant. Which is why I know there's something more profound going on in my head, perhaps hormonal, and that is actually rather disturbing.

nizzynoodles I know exactly what you mean now not throwing up and less tired I don't feel pregnant either other than not really fitting in to my clothes anymore! Did see midwife Fri and heard heart beat which was reassuring as it meant that it was still there

I'm now waiting to feel movements as well but not sure what they'll be like so guess I'll have to pay attention and hope it happens soon!

Take care

Hello there Juners!

I'm due with my second child on the 30th of June. I've been meaning to join for ages but have been sick, sick, sick and didn't want just to complain.

I was going to lurk for a while, but then I thought I'll just jump in and get to know you all that way, hopefully.

DD is two, BTW and thinks she has a baby in her tummy too. I am on the same post-natal thread as Filly!

(Satisfied Filly? )

I can share your shopping worries. I've worked myself today over puschairs (mainly because I don't like either of mine much and a new baby is a good excuse). It's not fun! And there are SIX months to go..... Get a grip, LaTrucha.

Hey LaTrucha welcome

Gizmo try not to be so hard on yourself,i have suffered with anxiety for years,although now i have it under control (crosses fingers and touches wood) have you thought of speaking to someone professionally about your fears? Try not to be disturbed,pregnancy makes all of us irrational! Why is it always the ones who suffer with anxiety that gets the heart palps during pregnancy?? Very unfair.