Due November 2009 - who is going to go 'pop' first?

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Here it is!

Oh, why can't I just stay away?
Meant to say, Pavlov do you think that as you obviously went through a really sad time while you were pregnant last time, this time could have brought back some memories? (I'm not at all trying to de-value how you're feeling, and I know feeling low doesn't always need a "rational" explanation, but just wondering, and I don't know... maybe you need to allow yourself some time to miss your mum a little?)
I hope that doesn't sound trite and patronising, it's not meant to be.

Erika Thank you for the kind offer! I'm seeing my MW next Tuesday, if she can't/won't give me one then, yes please!

helips I notice that I'm much warmer generally. I haven't had the night sweats (although I did read on another thread here that they do occur) but I'm definitely not the freezing penguin I used to be pre-preg.

I'm with all of your comments about breastfeeding. I was surprised about the way they are getting their milk because I thought they would be sucking. And she said another interesting thing: Most of us first timers have never seen it properly, which is actually true. I've seen my sister breastfeeding I don't know how many times but never really what the baby was doing. So it's difficult to know what to do. The second advice was to get in touch with an expert when you are having problems. I suppose that is more useful than reading books (but I agree with scarlotti, reading as much as I can now, not only about bf, makes me more confident and will hopefully help)
But I was a bit disappointed that we didn't really talk about potential problems and how to solve them.

Pavlov, sorry to hear that you are still feeling so low and don't get the support that you need from your husband. I have very long arms so I hope you have just felt my hug.

Honestly, I'm not sure about that stuff about breastfeeding not hurting at first. I'd say that I've had a fairly easy and successful run of it, but DS was about a week and a half old before my toes stopped curling at every feed - and remember, the baby's nursing stimulates your uterus to contract back down which is a GOOD thing in terms of getting your waist back, but can range from uncomfortable to painful.

Actually, I've NEVER heard of anyone finding breastfeeding painless right off the bat (and it was a big topic of conversation amongst us mums in the early days). The other thing is that your newborn does tend to be a bit blissfully clueless about the whole thing, and will cheerily clamp onto the side of your breast and give you a hickey if they can! I remember concentrating hugely to ensure that he latched on right (stroking his upper lip until his mouth yawned open, clamping him on at just the right angle with most of the areola in his mouth...) and he'd latch, suckle for about a minute, and then promptly fall asleep and drop off. And DH would say 'God, human infants are rubbish compared to other mammals' and I'd quite agree.

The falling asleep thing! I'd forgotten about that. DS2 did that so I'd end up latching him on about five times for one feed in the first few days. I could never tell when he'd had a good amount or when he was just falling asleep because it makes them sleepy.

Should add that I'm not trying to put anyone off breastfeeding - the first few weeks are hard work, and after that, it really does make it possible to be wonderfully lazy. (Baby hungry? No messing about with bottles; pop 'em on, you're away. Middle of the night? Pop 'em on, go back to sleep.) I just don't want anyone thinking 'Oh, it hurts so it's not going right, I'm doing it all wrong!'

Tamlin OMG, I'd forgotten about afterpains yep, a killer for me last time and the mw told me they can get worse with each pg.
I agree, it's painful at first. I think I was only spared with DD as she was only 5lb6oz so a few sucks and her tummy was full. Either that or the fact it's 15 years ago and I've romanticised most of the memories out of self preservation! (I know which one my money would be on)

My friend who gave birth a week ago has only just started to have feeds where her toes don't curl up, and this is baby no.3 to be bf so she knows what she's doing.

Big second though on the ease of it all when it's established. I used to feed DD lying down in bed at night and would fall asleep while she was feeding!

Tamlin, I really like your husbands comment! But during the class yesterday, my belly was moving a lot so hopefully my baby was listening carefully what she will have to do... and that she already understands English. And I'm prepared to go through a couple of difficult weeks anyway.

Afterpains can hurt but they are nature's way of getting your body back into place so it is good pain, I suppose. I didn't feel them at all with DS1 and only a bit with DS2.

I think most people go through the toe-curling stage and if I meet someone who doesn't then I bow down to them for being a breast feeding goddess! One theory is that it is because we don't wonder around with our nips hanging out so they are delicate little things always covered in layers of clothing whereas when we were cave women we had hard-as-leather nips! Who knows. But if BF works then it is worth it. There is a lot of pain in pregnancy too and we're all here doing it (many of us again and again).

I've never heard of afterpains... Goodness I feel naive right now!!! What are they? (stupid question)

Also - was wondering earlier about the placenta. Those of you who have done this before, did you delivery it naturally or have the injection to help?

Generally breast feeding gets easier when your milk comes in though, right..?

Pavlov not long to go now. Sorry to hear you are feeling low.

Erika I had injection for the placenta, it came out v quickly with no problems. It was bloody enormous and gave me a total fright, I had never seen anything like it. Did not fancy eating it or burying it under a tree as I gather some people do. It would have probably fed the whole town if we had cooked it though!
After a crappy start I found that breast feeding ultimately gets SO easy that it is as natural as breathing- you can do it upside down, on a plane, while you walk, whenever and wherever.
Issues associated with it change though- e.g. you don't notice that baby has fallen asleep and dropped off and you've been sitting with your boob hanging out in a public place for half an hour. Or the only place you can pump at work is in the school medical room. Or you really fancy wearing something nice like a dress that doesn't open down the front and can't be lifted up, or you'd like to wear an attractive bra, those kinds of things Oh, or your baby cuts his/her first teeth

I have actually achieved something today which is that I have half cleared out my silversmithing toolbox and put all the chain together, all the half finished projects together, all the tools at the bottom and all the scrap silver in a bag. May actually be able to finish some old bits now or start a new project, yay!

Bumpy how is everything now?

Erika after pains are where you uterus contracts back down and just feel like very mild period pains / very mild contractions. I didn't even feel them with DS1 so perhaps they get worse with each baby? Anyone know? They remind me a bit of when you've had a tummy bug and your stomach has small spasms or something. In fact they aren't even that bad. You feel them when you are feeding.

Wow what an eventful few hours you lot have had!

Hope all those not getting any sleep can manage a nap today.

erika Poor you yesterday, so glad that you and Bryn are both ok and well done you on coping so well After Pains are pains you gets when your uterus is going back to its old size (i think) I never really got them bad with ds1 and they were only slightly painful with ds2, so try not to worry about them too much, you may be lucky too!
Re placenta, I've had the injection both times to help with delivery but I know people who don't and have managed fine, the injection just speeds it up a little I think.

pav hope you are ok, don't apologise for feeling down, we're all here to listen so moan away, no matter how big or small the problem seems, it's still better off your chest.
I'm with wook on the medela mini, I bought one with ds2 and it was perfect for me (although is quite noisy)

wook I have also been given a tubigrip to sleep in and support belt just for day time, not sure I liked the tubigrip though!

hobnob Yes you can update your advantage card details online.

scarlotti It was me asking about the book, I would love to borrow it if the offer is still there? I'll try and cat you if that's ok.

Well I'm off to the midwife tomorrow for my 34 week check, I've not seen her for 6 weeks! Wonder if I'll go onto fortnightly visits now?
Better get on, my ironing pile is 2 baskets high, thanks to inlaws staying and ds1 being sick in bed last night!

x posts with BBL It took me so long to read through all the other posts

Waaaah! I just made the terrible mistake of reading the thread in childbirth about caesarian vs forceps. Now I am freaking out!!! Why did I read it? I am so so scared about the birth now. Please could somebody tell me that it's not so bad?

eeyore It really isn't that bad! It can't be or we wouldn't keep having more children!
You just have to focus on the fabulous prize you will get at the end

tigger yes, cat me your address and I'll pop it in the post.

eeyore it really isn't that bad - yes it's painful but you will get through it and there are plenty of pain relief options for you if it's too painful. Once it starts it's almost better - I find the worrying about it before is more stressful. Once you're going, you're going iyswim, and your body will lead you.

yes, the worrying before is definately the worst bit.

Scarlotti can't cat you as my subscription ran out in August oops not sure I got my £5 worth last year so not going to re subscribe!
My email ad is (well dh's) graeme dot tasker at talk talk dot net If you email me I'll forward you my address, thanks

Phew! What a long day. Took DD to the doctor at 10.30am, but she wanted her checked out at the hospital, so have been in the children's unit until now. Just got a taxi home and DD fell asleep as soon as we got through the door - no dinner. Luckily she seems to be on the mend. I am getting a bit fed up though; this is the third time in 6 months she's been admitted to hospital with the same breathing problems and still no diagnosis of asthma (she's had other, less serious, cases in between too). Obviously I don't want her to have asthma, but I really hate that they'll give her nothing in the way of preventative medicine and load her up with meds when it gets bad. I have to give her 10 puffs on her inhaler every 3 hrs at the moment (plus steroids). I know from my own asthma that I would be high as a kite on that, and she's so much tinier.

bumpy how are things? Nice to see you

tamlin I agree with everything you said about breastfeeding. And I loved it too. Once I got it established, it was a great bond between DD and I and I was very reluctant to give it up. BUT I think it's so much more helpful to be realistic about expectations. For me, feeding hurt/ was difficult for about the first 3 weeks/month. Then we turned a corner and it really was plain sailing (until the teeth came in ). There's so much propaganda about to make breastfeeding attractive, same as with having a natural labour and no pain relief, but it leaves most of us completely unprepared when things are harder than we expected.

That said, eeyore I think Mumsnet is a mixed blessing.There is such a thing as too much information. I haven't read that thread, but I'm not sure that reading loads of horror stories does any of us (2nd and 3rd timers too) any good! The truth is, all the awful things I thought about my labour, I thought afterwards. At the time, instincts/ adrenaline/ 'the moment' takes over and you have strength and energy beyond anything you can imagine

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. DH has been great today. Well, funny he is really shite at the emotional stuff at the moment, he is quite distant to be honest, but he is being practical. He has spent ages clearing out the spare room - we now have shit in most rooms, BUT, in the spare room we have the sofabed, little table with a lamp on (that is all we can fit in it!) and a hippy curtain over where the door should be. sofabed is covered with hippy throws and it is now my 'sanctuary'. Well it is all our sanctuary, if we need some space away from it all, if DH drinks too much one night, if I cannot sleep, if I need space in the day, and we even told DD if she needs space on her own she can go there too. It is to remain clutter/mess free, completely.

eeyore It really is not that bad. It is the only time ever that i can think of where we will experience pain that is a good pain, that brings us something positive and for some reason, for me anyway, it made the pain bearable, manageable and it went very fast. Its a pain that means every time it hurts you are getting closer to your baby. I told myself that throughout each contraction. I 'walked' up stairs, one at a time, and then back down as the contraction eased, telling myself (sometimes allowed) that this was taking me one step closer to DD. Your journey will be so different to anyone elses, and you will not know in advance what course that journey will take, apart from one, you will have a wonderful baby at the end, and this will help you focus on whatever comes up (are you having a c-section? can't remember?)

Same for afterpains. You (can) get them when you are feeding (as said, range from mild period type pain to a bit more painful) and to be honest, you are more likely to be concentrating on either, getting a crying baby to latch properly or if you are lucky and have done it, watching in amazement at this tiny little creature feeding, making content little noises. It means, yes it hurts a little (can) but you don't really notice. Like, I do not even remember whether I had stitches because I was too busy cooing. I recall there being some 'activity' down below, but it was not important.

scarlotti You are my kindred spirit i am sure of it. Apart from, I think it is Laugs who is my twin ! I know what you mean about being on the edge of perhaps pre-natal depression. I was, to be honest surprised I did not get PND depression last time.

And wonder whether perhaps there is some truth in what broodzilla says. I was surprisingly on top of the world after last pg. I used to cry with awe at DD, I felt so happy. I think that was my coping mechanism. But I never really grieved for mum. No time, life moved on very quickly and I do fret about that, but cannot sit and dwell. Thing is, when mum was poorly. I had things to focus on, take my mind of things - concentrate on her, concentrate on becoming a mum, work. This time, it feels like there is no escape from my problems. No breathing space. No coming up for air. (that is selfish, I know, because my mum is not here, nothing is as bad as that).

Anyway. An epic post. If you make it to the end, well done! Sorry for not responding to everything every one said. I can't remember past the last couple posts

laugs x-posted - I agree completely about fears/negativities being thought about after the birth. When you have time to think about it. Well said!

sorry also meant to say laugs your poor dd i hope she feels better soon x

Forceps scared the bejesus out of me prior to DS's birth and they still do. I told my husband very specifically that if I needed an instrumental, I wanted ventouse and if that failed, straight to section (which fortunately the doc agreed to - they were prepping the theatre when DS was finally yanked out). This is because the few really bad horror stories I've heard about tearing involved forceps, and I did not want those suckers anywhere near me. That said, they don't seem like a popular option nowadays - you're more likely to get ventouse.

Speaking of DS, he seems to be regressing rather alarmingly. All the baby stuff is down from the attic, and so he's going around suckling on a dummy and dragging a baby toy around with him - he's NEVER taken a dummy, so I'm finding it all a bit disconcerting. He seems cheery enough to chatter about the baby coming, but it's clearly bothering him a bit!