And the wagon just keeps on going, 5 babies left to arrive- who will go first????

[glaskham]

new thread....

Hi STT - my tens machine arrived this morning. I got it from Babycaretens Ltd but I don't know whether they are particularly good or cheap, I just saw them on the NCT website so it was quick and easy to hire it from there. I got the Elle tens and 5 weeks hire was £26.95 if that helps - some of the other models are a bit cheaper. Fingers crossed the baby turns soon.

Boden - glad you enjoyed jolly babies

Diege - you can usually get them to take it to your local PO if you give them a call. I usually do that as they always take my parcels to the PO in town which has no parking and is only open when I am at work . Walked in this morning though to pick up my parcels (tens machine and nursing bras) then had lunch in town. It was a lovely walk in the sun but my bump felt quite heavy on the way home - maybe she is starting to move down a bit.

Kay - sorry DS was in full voice yesterday. See you tomorrow

Well I did have grand plans for a big catchup today while both (yes both! ) DDs are at preschool but once again the day has flown by and now it's time to go for my MW appointment and collect children, so I'll try to get on this evening. Ho hum.

Guys, I need help

I've just posted this in behaviour, not on my own thread, but I could do with some help / advice / support:

My DS is going to turn 3 in Dec, and has recently turned from a happy, chirpy little boy (unless hungry or tired, but always easily rectifiable) to a demon. No other word for it.

He goes to nursery, three mornings a week, where he is an angel, doesn't have any toilet accidents, helps out doing 'staff' jobs etc.

He comes home, throws stuff, screams, whinges, and generally is naughty and a handful . He never uses the potty / toilet of his own will like he does at nursery or for anyone else looking after him.

I wish I knew how to change it!

At the moment he's wrapping sellotape all round my dining room chair legs hmm which is fine by me - picking my battles at the moment!

As you all know, he used to be full time but has been part time for about 2.5 months now, we've a new baby due in about 4 to 6 weeks time and we're currently in the process of decorating a new bedroom for him so I'm hoping that things will settle down once the baby is actually here...

...alternatively, I'm hoping that this is 'just a phase' and that 'this too shall pass' - otherwise having DC No2 will turn out to be the biggest mistake I've ever made...

And as if to prove a point, 15 minutes after I've sat him on the potty for a wee (which he protested about, but did perform) he's just announced that he's done ANOTHER wee on the carpet.

What am I doing wrong? Today has been miserable. This week has been miserable. How the hell am I going to cope with a newborn as well? Why is he so naughty? Why won't he use the toilet for me (he insists on wearing big boy pants, not pullups, btw)?

Lets add another wee to the list. This is ridiculous. I've put him in pullups and he hasn't argued this time.

beanie - tens a good idea had one for dd1 stupidly didnt have one ready for dd2s arrival. dh rushed out to get one the morning i went into labour from birth centre was already in 2 much pain by then

sparkly - your ds's behaviuor sounds like just what my dd1 was like when i was pregnant she was 3.5 years when bracken was born.
she would be great @ nursery she went 3 mornings a week had no bad behaviuor @ nursery but loads @ home. think they have to let it out somewhere & unfortunatley is us mums that get it!!
i am sure that my dd1 was alot worse when i was pregnant after i had had the baby she was alot better. swear as i was big and she knew i couldnt run fast or do much she played up more.
just ignore it!!
my dd1 started wetting again 2 all attention i think.
i know exactly what u r going through i was @ the end of my tether hang on in there

thanks boden

DH is home now so he's being good again, just to make me look like a complete nutcase.

I'm with you on the knowing your big thing, he runs away from me in the car, where he used to just climb into his seat, now he scrambles about all over the place. He legs it round and round the sodding dining room table etc etc.... its just so endless and I can't help feeling like its all my fault.

I can't imagine him having much love for the baby, he's going to be so cross at having to share me... feel really rotten for being 'selfish' and having another baby at the moment

Just popping in as all hands to the deck here, but couldn;t not reply STT! It does sound really tough going with ds, and you've had some good advice there from Boden. I think if I were you I might (very calmly) go back to pull-ups for a bit, maybe even at nursery too, as it seems he's using the whole weeing thing as a means to get attention. Without being mean, making a point of going back to nappies until he;s ready (not making out it's a punishment, but making the point that his weeing everywhere means you don;t think he;s ready etc..)On the other hand, you may not want to revert to nappies at nursery just to make a 'point'...I remember reading something similar on a parenting thread a while ago, and the advice was just to ignore the wees, don't make a big deal of it, and if it gets unbearable go back to nappies for a while then try again in a few months. But then may be harder to start again with new baby. Arghhh!!! Why is this parenting thing so hard!!! Whatever you do don't blame yourself and this pregnancy for a minute. It's a normal sibling reaction and your ds will get so much out of his new sibling. Hold on in there, you're doing great

Hi!

Had a busy couple of days - Jo Jingles yesterday, church meeting last night and post natal group today. DS has been really grumpy today. Not sure if it's after Monday's jabs or if it's sore gums or both.

STT - the others have said it really and I obviously have no experience of more than one. However, one of the mums at the post natal group today said that her 4yo became more of a handful towards the end of pregnancy. He actually verbalised at nursery that mummy would have less time for him when the baby arrived. In the end, she said he is v loving towards the new baby but does still seem to be a bit attention seeking.
Another little anecdote for you is that my godson was 4.5yo when his younger brother came along. He really played up to begin with but in the third week, his mum got someone else to look after her DS2 for a few hrs so she could have some one to one time with her DS1. She asked him what he wanted to do and he said he wanted to go to the coffee shop in Waitrose. She was a bit and asked him why. He said he could watch the trains go by as the railway line went by outside! How cute!

Flying post before bed, but couldn't not reply STT - DS was 2.5 when DD was born (turned 3 yesterday - did I mention that?!) I really think it's a hormonal thing - they go through a testosterone surge at this age, as far as I remember. DS has been really tesing this past 6 months. Can totally empathise with what you're going through, although we're fortunate enough that DS potty trained at 2.2, so we've not got that to contend with, but instead - hitting, kicking, shouting "No" at the top of his voice, shouting generally. I'm sorry I can't offer any solutions, but just reiterate that it is a phase - DS seems to have gotten better lately, but whether as a result of our consistent treatment of his bad behaviour, or just because he's passed through the "phase" is (as with all aspects of parenting IMHO) anyone's guess!! He's by no means an angel, but is really a lot better than he was. Have had the conversation many a day with DH that it is particularly with me that he's bad - I guess that's because I was the one who changed: was pregnant, then been primary carer for DD, whereas DH hasn't changed so much (through DS' eyes IYSWIM). We have used the naughty step, always finished every time out with a kiss and cuddle. On a couple of extreme occasions he's gone to his bedroom instead of naughty step, but essentially just an escalation in that it's upstairs rather than being any more severe a punishment. DH and I are both consistent with punishment (although DH would have given him a smack back when the hitting got really bad, if he hadn't previously agreed with me on no hitting - not hard, but just to show him what it's like). He too used to scramble through to front seat every time in car and only in recent weeks has stopped doing that - it does change (DH tells me it's since we stopped having sweets in the driver's side pocket - there's nothing for him to get now )! We also had change in circumstances, as childminder handed notice in a week after DD was born, so DS has been home full-time with me since she was 5 weeks old, so a lot for him to deal with. He starts nursery in mornings tomorrow and I'm not sure who's more excited - me or him!!

If it's any consolation, he has never taken it out on DD - always on DH and me. He just wants to help with DD and always gets the cotton wool, nappy, cream and tissues ready, while I get the water. He does snatch toys from her - hey, par for the course I think, but generally we're streets from where we were. I do think that pregnancy tiredness does really contribute to it being hard work and I think/hope it will improve for you once your DC2 is here.

Right - bed calling - DD been down for 1.5 hours now, so I should be in bed too. Night all.

Hi,

STT, ignoring is good but if its destructive then sometimes you just can't do this, I completely understand the dilemma.I have worked in Behaviour Analysis for 7 years (a bit like super nanny) and I completley agree with what everyone is saying to do. It sounds like the route of the problem is def anxiety about the new baby and 'losing' you. I am just wondering if there is an activity you can do that might 'prepare' him for the arrival. I don't know...make something, a welcome poster for the baby's room??I don't know, something DS can do to prepare him that this is happening but that you want him very much involved and include him in this life changing event.

This might sound silly and will completely depend on your child's comprehension but have you actually sat down and talked to him about it? You could look through his baby albums and talk to him about what will happen be with the baby - careful not to focus on you and baby but the family as a whole unit. What DS will be able to do with him etc...

I'm sorry Im writing an essay but I think you will probably get the point I'm trying to make.

If there is anything I can help you with behaviourally, particularly reoccurring behaviours then please contact me through facebook and I will help as best I can. I will need to know the behaviour itself, what happens before the behaviour and the most important - how you are actually reacting to it.

Please remember, as evident in the responses from fellow wagoners, that you are not alone in this and it is a perfectly normal and natural response to a life changing event for your DS. It doesn't make it more bearable but once the change has taken place (and remember it has not taken place yet!) then it will be time for ADJUSTMENT and then things will settle down. It is a phase and you will get through it

I really HTH!!!!!!

Just a thought... you might want to consider purchasing this and/or this

or seeing if your local library has a copy.

Oh guys, thanks so much. Once again, I always seem to leave my problems simmering until they become overwhelming before I ask for help and I should know better by now.

I fell asleep when putting DS to bed last night, think I might have gone off first , DH managed to do a really good job of putting the gloss on the skirting board too and it looks fab. Its a one coat paint and he was talking about putting another coat on but I'm trying to convince him he won't need to, just get on and paint the rest of the room!

I've chatted with mum several times about putting him back in pull ups and I'm kind of caught in the middle and I guess that's probably some of the problem. I'm confused about what I'm supposed to be doing, so its no wonder that DS is. Ultimately, up till now, I've been leaving it up to him to a point... So in the mornings I ask if he wants pants or pullups - yesterday he chose pullups to wear to nursery and did a poo in them, then switched to pants and had no more accidents... (till he got home of course!). This morning, I said, would you like pullups, so you can do a poo in them, and he said 'yes please mummy', so that's what we've done. But when I pick him up from nursery I'm fairly sure he'll be wearing pants, so I think I'll have a chat to him about it being OK to wear pull ups at home if he's having too much fun / too busy etc to use the toilet and to let me know when he wants to wear pants... and take it from there. Does that sound reasonable?

The frustrating thing about the potty training is that I know he can do it, as he was 100% potty trained a few weeks ago! No accidents, including poo's for consecutive days, stating clearly when and where he wanted to go to the loo - (a big toilet, a small toilet, on the potty, in the grass (!) )

Ho hum. I guess there's a difference between capable and 'ready' though.

The shouting 'no' is a special treatment reserved especially for mummy. The climbing in the front of the car is because 'I want to drive' and as for the throwing and hitting, well, I'm at a loss really. He was like a transformed child when DH got home - saying please, thankyou, etc, even giving up watching his precious telly to come and join us at the dinner table for a few prawn crackers! When I suggested it was bedtime, he got up, turned the telly off (never happens) and said, "come on mummy"... he makes me look like a complete nutcase.

He's woken up quite happy this morning, which is a rarity, and got dressed with no fuss so hopefully he'll have a good morning at nursery too.

Gruff, what you say does make sense. I bought the 'mummy's tummy house' book for DS, but we haven't actually read it for a little while so I'll dig that back out. It had crossed my mind that now its getting imminent, it might be useful to buy a 'the baby arriving / has arrived' book. I know the baby arrives at the end of tummy house, but it doesn't explain the process like it seems those other books do. Think I'll go shop now.

And as a big fat confession to all of my neurosis...I finally got round to picking up my 'mum to be' bounty pack last night and was flicking through the pampers mag that comes with it. I read the article about PND and realised that I'm struggling with most of the symptoms and that because I've been so tired at night, I've been forgetting to take my AD's - which whilst not contributing to DS' behaviour, does at least explain my guilt / insomnia / feelings of failure as a mum to DS / poor appetite / agitation etc. I realised whilst listening to my hypnobirthing CD last night so got up and took one. Hopefully, they'll kick in again soon. So that, combined with being told its normal, not something I'm doing wrong, and buying a book for DS, all feel like I'm making steps to make a life a bit easier, which helps in itself.

Thanks guys.... from a significantly less distraught STT** all rights to change this status on the return of DS from nursery remain reserved at all times

my dd1 would start wetting again about four time a day when i was pregnant god is it frustrating!!!

good lukc today sparkly hope u have a better one

buying boden bits tom cant wait

a week today till dd1 starts scholl

Sparkly - LOL at rights to change status
One other thought re car, have you thought of buying him one of those toy steering wheels for him to use in the back? Even could that be a present from the new baby to him when mini Sparkly arrives?

I'd like some advice about sleep please if any one has time...

You may remember that I was co-sleeping with O until about 10 weeks when we put his cot with one side off shoved up against my side of the bed. That's worked ok except he normally falls asleep on me feeding him and then sleeps in his cot for up to 2 hrs before stirring, crying, rolling off his mattress to me and then coming into bed for the rest of the night. This doesn't really bother us except I have this little voice telling me that
a) he should learn to settle himself rather than falling asleep on me
b) he should be sleeping in his cot
c) I guess I just kind of feel a bit "behind" on this one

Sometimes in the morning after DH goes to work, I'll sit up and feed him and he'll fall asleep on me and I'll put him back in his cot and he'll stay asleep there on his own for about 20 mins.
This morning that happened but he's still asleep an hour later!! To try and stop his rolling waking him up, I put a pillow at the join of my mattress and his and I put the baby monitor on and he's rolled but only got as far as being on his tummy, resettled himself and has stayed asleep there on his tummy.
This is great except, I know it's dangerous to use a pillow (the baby monitor is a sensor one though ) and is sleeping on his tummy ok?
Is it worth me putting him to sleep on his tummy at night as he hasn't yet worked out how to roll from his tummy onto his back?

Hope that all makes sense and if anyone has any thoughts, much appreciated...

Kay & IDOB - have a great lunch today

Btw, O was 4 months yesterday!!! Where did that time go???!

Morning! Off to hospital now for physio appointment. Hope you have a much better day today STT - great advice there from GRUFF and STAR We really are a one-stop shop on the wagon
Just had boden parcel Boden ; dd2's hat and gloves, the others have 3 weeks to wait ...why oh why they can't keep up with us I don't know..

STT- the books GS reccomended got us through our PG's both time... when DS was about 14mths when i was pg with DD1, he loved books and enjoyed making our own stories to them... then this time round he made stories up himself, and DD1 joined in, they called the baby 'ruby' this time too. We also had humphreys corner 'humphrey's family' book too which is good, explains he has a big sister and a baby brother and what they do...

Not staying- DS has his 1st day at school- couldn't shake me off quick enough, went in with his G-force lunch bag full of goodies (cheese and pickle buttie on brown bread, cucumber sticks, cheesestring, apple, rasins and a yoghurt bar thingy...)

The teachers have just been to see DD1 for starting nursery and she's got a visiting hour on tuesday and starts properly on wednesday!! How exciting!!

ses - not sure what 2 suggest - other than just go for it and leave him 2 sleep in cot by himself

diege - ye for parcel i know isnt good enough i am only ordering things in stock tomorrow have no patience !!

hi cant

we got dd2 aqua draw colour mat from bracken when she was born.
hope that dss first day goes well

Ses- sorry- didn't even read the posts but cannot read yours and not post....

DD2 always falls asleep on the breast in an evening- otherwise it can take up to an hour to settle her to sleep. And she's 6.5mths old... She will settle to sleep in her cot for a nap in the day, and with a bit of controlled crying will soote herself at night, but for ease i allow her to fall asleep on the breast. When i feel the time is right i'll start leaving her to self-soothe after a full feed.

I only ever co-sleep with her by accident- ie we both fall asleep mid-feed in the night... but it doesn't happen often. I co-slept with DS until he was about 6mths and i was so tired i began letting him self soothe after then, but he'd still wake for the night-time feeds.

I decided to make sure that the girls always went into their own bed, and would only sleep with me and DH if we fell asleep mid-feed etc.

Now as O's your PFB you may not feel comfortable with self-soothing but i honestly, hand-on-heart know that it was what worked for me.

I dont leave DD2 screaming, if she gets too upset i go and stroke her face, give her back her dummy and blanket (she uses a muslin for comfort) and then leave once she's clamed... if she's just making noises/whinging (you'll know the difference) then i'll leave her for no longer than 5-10mins and go and sort her again- ie dummy & blanket and then walk straight out. It can take a while but it's not that bad to pop in every 5-10mins if she needs it and she sleeps in her own bed not mine.

right ladies which top to go with this dress?

www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Girls-Dresses/33102/Girls-Big-Button-Dress.html

was going to get in the blue with lilac spots

buying tom

meant which colour cheers

DS really enjoyed his first day at school!! He demolished his lunch- not a bit left!! Knew i'd not packed too much!! He's requested pasta with tuna and sweetcorn for his lunch tomorrow.

Can't stop- off to make tea, was gonna make tuna pasta bake on DD1's request but not sure if it's sensible with DS having similar for his packed lunch so gonna see if i can change it to something else at last min!!

Thanks for your comments and advice. I think I got worried after our post natal session yesterday as the HV was saying how they should be able to settle themselves now. I'm going to reconcile myself though to the fact that it works ok at the moment and we'll progress at our own pace for the time being.

Can't - glad DS first day went well

Diege - hope physio went ok

Boden - will go and look at your link

Hello!!

Just a quick post as I am theory test revising like mad!!

Had a lovely day with IDOB. Freddie wanted to show her the train station and the grass where we have picnics. He absolutely adores her and has been telling DH all about her and her baby. He did try to look at the baby.

Just had an awful driving lesson. I just couldn't seem to get it right at all today. But he must have some faith in me as every other week he wants to give me a free hours lesson.

Hope you are all well. I'll text CANT tomorrow to let her know if I passed!!

Hope you are all well!

regarding dress it is dark blue with lilac spots getting the citrus tghts to go with it so was thinking of getting the citrus top with bicycle on

kay - sounds good