Due March 2010 - do I look pregnant yet or just fat?

[annamama]

... starting a new thread as the old one was running out of space ...

oh CERVICAL mucas!! that was the letter that was proving tricky for me...

[hopes no-one is eating anything whilst reading this]

Am seriously excited about the identical twinness for pixie and already thinking about all the doubly lush things you can buy! including a baby wrap thing which someone posted somewhere on MN and i loved but now can't find honestly my pregheadness is AWFUL online!

no boob leakage i'm afraid but mutant cows keep the world turning lostlenore so worry not. speaking of breastmilk did anyone see this in the papers yesterday? COMPLETELY makes sense, though can't remember whether it made much difference with dd or not!

haven't felt much mvt for the past day or two but keeping worried thoughts quiet, it's early days (i'm only 16wks)

hope everyone enjoying their sunday

LOL annamama feel much better pregheadedly! glad you got there ok!

Hello, all! Hope you are all well, various leakage from body orifices notwithstanding - 'tis all normal, BTW, all part of the glamour of pregnancy ...

I was out last night!! I mean really out, party, loud music, dancing, home @ 2am!! It was fab even if I was almost totally sober. Well, it seemed rude to decline the champagne to toast the birthday boy...
Today I feel totally shattered and I feel that my theory that a hangover is at least partially sleep deprivation is confirmend.

And my Amby arrived, I love it and wish they did one in adult sizes! It looks v cosy and DS1's and 2's teddies look v snug and comfortable in there.

Sunny in Scotland today which is a v welcome change, no doubt it will not last...

A good friend of mine did exactly the same as you, annamama. He still hasn't lived it down and every year when I know he's off to make the same flight (to Cannes for the film festival) I aways text to poke fun at him check he's at the right airport I never fail to find it shocking how much of our brainpower a baby will sap whilst in utero. (men, however, I have no problem to believe they regularly rock up to the wrong airport )

pacific are you scottish or simply live in Scotland? My dad is from Edinburgh, and my mum lived in Glasgow for four years (despite being English :p) so I visited many times.

runs to google to see what an Amby might be

Oooh, snazzy! Like a hammock/cot hybrid. Although I think it says something for my pervy mind that the sex swing Samantha used in Sex and the City popped into my head as I looked at it...

, Manda, you dirty girl!! I bought into the hype that the Amby make new babies sleep better/longer ... We shall see.

I am not Scottish, but have lived here for 15 years, love it really, but the weather... I was amazed how much warmer it was last weekend in York and that is hardly the French Riviera, is it?
I am actually German, but it has been so long it is hard to remember, although speaking German to my visiting parents helps.

LOL at your airport mix up Annamama! I have the pregnancy brain as well now. Have to write EVERYTHING down. I started back at work last week and am constantly having to double check things.

oh pixie you poor thing it's not been a great month for your dd2 has it? poor little thing i'm sure she'll be glad to be home with her mummy.
my dd seems to change her mood at the drop of a hat (or pencil/sock/chair etc etc) we've had a day of tantrums today, culminating in a refusal to eat any of the roast lunch we cooked to point where she was crying so much she started gagging . Still when she was good she was very very good....
pacific am coveting your amby thing and have several facebook friends in similar situations! did you buy it full price or ebay in the end?

MummyElk, I bought mine used from a lovely MNer . I heart MN. AND she sent it before I had sent any money. Such a lovely experience and I am so pleased to have done it this way rather than impersonal ebay (much as ebay can be fab as well).

Pixie, I have a friend with identical twin girls and she painted one big toe nail with a teeny-tiny drop of nail polish to keep them apart - so this LO got her first pedicure while still in her incubator in SCBU (they were fine, just a bit cold and spent one night in SCBU). My friend also BF them both, the nutter saint . They are now 6, still look identical but personalities are sooo different it is quite easy to keep them apart, even for relative strangers like me.

Anyhoo, 3 boys + daddy in the bath (are you surprised to hear we have a firm rule that everybody is entitled to play with their own bits, but to leave everybody elses alone ??) Better go and rescue DS3 before he drowns in the tsunami I hear going on.

ROFL PacificDogwood at the Bits rule. We have something similar. I'm guessing it's ever more vital if you have 3 kids in the bath together! And ahem I think you'll find that York is a lot like the French Riviera. Refined-wise anyway.

Pixie very excited about your twin girls- what an adventure!

Manda I once got as far as packing the car and setting off for the airport before realising that I was actually going on holiday the following day. And I couldn't blame it on preg-brain!

Pacific I'm also planning on getting a second hand Amby. I think they look great and I was chatting with a pregnant nanny friend of mine yesterday and she couldn't recommend them enough.

Scooby I'm also sorely tempted to find out - I can't bear it if the sonographer knows and I don't, but am trying to hold out. I really want a girl and know it won?t matter at all as soon as I have the baby in my arms, but might feel an unfair twinge of disappointment if we find out it?s a boy in advance. Repeats to self: must stay firm, must stay firm?

BPM did you have good viewings this weekend? I was sending the vibes!

Quick question for those, unlike me, who've already had a DC. Did you get a baby sling and if so, which type? I'm quite keen but there are so many on the market.

Finally another recommendation from the library, for other first-timers: Janet Balaskus 'Natural Baby'. Practical, not hippy-ish, but really helpful. AND DH read the whole thing from cover to cover because it was well written, interesting and he thought the photos were cute. He's now obsessively telling me various bits of wisdom from it (which is sweet if not mildly irritating) so it's clearly doing something right as he hasn't shown much of an interest in any of the other books. Got mine second hand on amazon really cheap!

Happy Mondays all.

p.s. thanks for useful water birth stories - am thinking of getting a birth pool in a box

IWCAS scross-posted - sounds like you are feeling more positive - hurrah for you! Family and friends will be really supportive and much better than a reluctant ex!

Go home if you feel rubbish - probably your body telling you to slow down - you've been through quite a bit recently.

Tee hee on both of our sign offs - clearly in the same frame of mind!

can i join the sigh off group!!!! saw gp- she is not happy about my bp and thinks i am doing too much, so have a sick note for the next 2 weeks

Had a crap weekend, DH worked all day sat, then went to a friends for a beer and conker competition (dont ask) boys will be boys!!!!

he fell in the door in the very early hours, threw up everywhere, and came to bed!!!! i got up with the dc's @7, put lamb in to roast(my parents were coming for dinner) hoovered and mopped from top to bottom, woke him at 11- was told, getting up now!!!! 12pm he appeared for 5 mins was then being sick again, back to bed, surfaced at half past 4- (his dinner fed the dog) and moaned about how awful he felt!!!!1 both dc's wanted him tp play and he said no etc etc!!!

i am totally pissed off with him as i feel like a single mom who is very down in the dumps atm!!!! just wish he would think sometimes

he did bugger all- not even put the dc's to bed and wonders why i am not a happy person!!!!

i know i am angry, but dont really know what i want etc and just feel like a glorified cook, cleaner and moaner!!!!

arrrgggghhhh rant over (i know i am being a cow he doesn't go out very often and tbh as this is what happens i am glad, ) he works all week so he deserves a break but its just not fair when do i get 5 mins???!!!

sorry guys going away to put my head in the oven!!!!!

Sarah - you have every right to be angry. that is a deeeply deeeeeeply immature way for a father to behave. I simply CANNOT imagine going out and getting totalled and expected my DH to pick up the pieces. He may deserve a break, but not to the detriment of his family. It is possible to go out, have a good time and not be wrecked the next morning.

You need a conversation with him where you very calmly and lovingly explain how his actions have made you feel. You're pregnant for goodness sake. One of my friends got breakfast in bed and a lie in every day from when the stick went blue to when her DS was born and beyond. Why? Because her DH recognised that she was struggling making his next child and that he needed to play a big part in helping her.

If even remotely possible, get a babysitter for tonight, go out for a starbucks so that there can't be any shouting and have a reasoned conversation. He MUST NOT continue behaving like that....

unsolicited marriage advicerant over

thanks Arcadia!!!!! so glad its not just me over reacting!!!!!lol

Hi ladies,

Sorry haven't posted for ages!

Pixie - Amazing news on the identical twin girls, eek, how exciting!!! Love the pram too!

Not sure who was asking about baby slings but I got a hugabub wrap one. Really comfortable on the back and versatile. Will be using it this time round too

I'm feeling sorry for myself as i've got the cold, so has ds so we're both drowsy and snotty boo!

With regards to birth, I had a hospital birth last time, we have a small midwife led unit here but you have to be super low risk to use it. Ds was a bit small last time so they wanted me to go to the nearest hospital an hour away . I was induced as 2 weeks over, labour was pretty quick, the painful part only lasted about 4 and 3/4 hours. Ds was back to back so it was a very intense 4 and 3/4 hours with dh being ordered to constantly rub my back. Dh had to get my moisturiser out in the end as he thought if he rubbed any more he'd have no skin left on his hsnds!

Anyway, ds came out ok but had his hand up like superman next to his head so I sustained a 3rd degree tear (for those first timers please don't let this scare you, i swear I had no idea at all it had happened until the mw told me afterwards).

Ds's size wasn't a problem in the end, he was 6lb 5oz and a healthy and alert. They said I would be better off at the hosp 'just in case' as apparently somtimes smaller babies get distressed more easily during labour. He coped excellently though, I was still glad I was there though as they just wheeled me straight to theatre and stiched me up, if i'd been at the unit here it would have meant an hours ambulance ride just to get stitched!

So... this time I've said i'll go to hosp again, mw happy with this as she'd rather me be in a consultant led unit due to the tear I had last time. Although there's nothing to say i'll tear againa and they checked me and apparently I have healed very well and should be fine for a natural birtha again

The only thing that concerns me is getting there in time this time, if I don't have to be induced again then i'll be travelling down whilst in labour and the last labour was quite short so eek!

Uh, rebecca I suppose we could blame it on... pmt? Or the fact you were probably singularly responsible for packing/organising/making sure all travel documents were in order for the whole family and so had a mini meltdown? Either way, it doesn't equate with single blokes who have nobody but themselves to worry about totally messing up. I do hope you realised before you'd paid for parking

Sarah Fancy another dollop of unsolicited advice/thoughts? Oh good!

I reckon it's totally uderstandable for you to be fuming. Particularly as your parents were coming to dinner the next day - there's something about those close to us witnessing such behaviour that makes it all the much worse. You probably felt torn between 'outing him' and face looking like poor downtrodden Sarah whose other half cares not a jot (despite this being unusal behaviour!) or having to lie and say he was ill to save face/pitying looks/lectures about how you deserve better? Either end of the stick is pretty shitty. And as I say, you're totally within your rights to feel pissed off, and challenge what's happened to avoid it happening again/feeling this way again. Arcadie has some good advice about speaking calmly to him about it - I would just temper how heavy handed I went in with how often this kind of thing happens. If he goes out rarely but always goes 'over the top' that's really not acceptable (or compatible) with family life. It's possibly a sign that he might need to go out a little bit more (as weird as that sounds) so he doesn't have the 'Omg, this is my one night every four months out - I've gotta make the most of it and sling as much alcohol down my throat as possible!' feelings behind the inevitable downfall this thought process leads to.

Don't misunderstand me - I'm not saying 'poor him' by any means! Of course, your needs should be considered too whether that means you also getting quality 'you' time or more help with the kids/being pregnant. You're in a partnership and whilst I really do think it's ok expected - we're human after all - for a complete fuck up from either of you, it's not ok for the repercussions to be ignored or reasonable steps taken to avoid it happening again.

Sarah - I too would be really p*ssed off if my dh did that, it's one thing to go out but another to drink so much you're out of action for the whole next day, especially when you had so much to do

I think you should leave him to do everything next time you have visitors and see how he likes it!

I agree with what arcadi and manda said...

thanks Guys, it means alot, xxxxx

re drinking too much he reckons he had 6 pints- and tbh i really dont think he would have had much more as he is a total light weight these days!!!(has been for many yrs!!)

dairy you were right, it was awful!!!

my parents are pretty good about this sort of thing and are used to mike, but i felt humiliated etc as u said!!!

re- let him do everything next time- it would never happen, i can ask him over and over to flick the kettle on and make a drink and you would think i have asked him to walk over hot coals (this is very recent behaviour tbh)he is too laid back and far to patient, where as i am the other end of the scale,

anyhoo enough about me i am taking over the thread, i shall sit and wallow in my self pity and await happier news on here!!!!lol

Oh, I've not been up to much, pixie. Just one small emergency mission to track down 12 fake moustaches. DOn't even ask!

This is wht my kids don't seem to grasp about me - when something is needed for school be it an elaborate costume for the school play or a page full of sponsership money or a dozen fake moustaches for friday - if I have a little bit of notice I can easily provide what they need. What I can't do, is magic said costume, sponsershp or moustaches out of thin air when they ask for them on the day they're needed!

Is it only my wonderful offspring who have this annoying habit?