Due Feb 2010 part 2: the second trimester

[CaractacusPotty]

Not sure I am any more qualified, frankly, but hey ho!!

....Btw top clothes tip, Uniqlo have some very nice big tunic style merino jumpers for £20 to see you through the winter, and thermal leggings for £10, I am sorted!

You and me both Shiregirl. I still feel sick. Had a few not so bad days then the last 2 have been bad again. Still don't have much of an appetite and am the same weight I was when I got pregnant. I don't have much of a bump though I definitely look chunkier. As a friend put it 'you didn't ever get a big bump with dd you just sort of spread'. How to cheer a girl up!

As my company have still not found me a suitable alternative job to do when pregnant I will start my official mat leave as late as possible. Can't believe they are paying me to sit at home but I am certainly not complaining.

On the maternity clothes front, I am planning a splurge in Bluewater in a couple of weeks. If anyone can recommend any good places there I would be grateful. Of course I will have to wonder round the baby section of John Lewis while I am there...

I have been catchi ip on all the last 2 weeks posts. Hello to all the newbies who've joined whilst I've been away. All tthe talk about homebirths and whether to find out about the sex is making me realise how quickly the pg is going!

I had a wonderful holiday and now don't want to go back to work, especialy as I start a new job on Monday and I'm not looking forward to telling them I'll only be with them for 5 months! I stil don't feel very pg, which worries me slightly. I do have a slight belly but it could easily be passed off as a bit of excess weight.

Does anyone have any advise about exercise in the 2nd trimester? I'm slightly worried by how much activity I did on holiday. I only ever exercised in the mornings or evenings and wore a heart rate monitor to ensure my heart rate wasn't rised too high for sustained periods. However, we went mountain bike ridig one day and were out for 3 and a half hours and although my heart rate went high, I don't think it was for longer than 30mins at a time. My overall average for the 3 hours was 130bpm. I'm normally a very fit person and prior to preganancy I could maintain my heart rate at 180 for a good 30-40mins without a problem. Am I doing too much (I feel fine!)?

scooby

Hi Chinook, If you don't mind me asking what do you do? (please dont feel that you have to answer that). Sounds amazing that they are not making you work!!!

I work in an extremely demanding job and on top of working during the day am expected to do on-calls 3-4 times a week (and working all night long if I get called out). I'm wondering if I should go and have a chat to HR?

Did you initiate the home working or did they???

Chinook I tried convincing work that I should be 'suspended on full pay' (it's an awful thing to call it isn't it) due to risks at work to me and my unborn child from swine flu (I'm a nurse), they weren't having any of it though . I am off all nights and weekends until I start mat leave at christmas though, which is almost as good . Well done you!!

Lovelymonster have you had a risk assessment done? That sounds a bit much for someone who isn't pregnant (but maybe I am a bit soft ). Have you got an occy health dept you could go to? They might be better placed to help than HR. Ours is great, argued for me about working with risky patients when managers weren't bothered .

My Blooming Marvellous order arrived this morning, mostly a load of tops for £2-3 each. I did rather optimistically get a swimming costume for £5 as well. Not tried it all on yet.
Was in Mothercare yesterday and had a quick look at their (fairly rubbish in the store I was in) range of maternity clothes, saw the £35 price tag on some jeans and put them down fairly sharpish. Back to ebay for me.

Scooby - If you feel fine I would have thought it would be Ok but ask your midwife or doctor if you are worried.

I'm hungry all the time as well, looking more like I have a bump than just fat which is good.

Hope you are all enjoying your weekends, my DH set off this morning at 5.30 to do a 12 hour mountain bike race (nutter) so me and DS are having a peaceful day to ourselves, a friend is coming round later for a cuppa so have had to make a vague effort at tidying as the place is a tip. Cleaning and tidying up is so demoralising with a toddler following along behind you emptying cupboards and drawers, tipping glasses of water all over the place and rubbing sucked biscuits into the furniture!

AngelaCarleen - good that you are off nights and weekends. Has your pay dropped because of not doing unsocial hours?? And if so will that effect your maternity pay?

I too am a health care professional and just worried that if I stop doing my on calls then I will lose my extra 25% pay that i get for doing it which will affect my mat pay.

Hello all, sorry to hear some are still suffering with the sickness, hope it passes soon.

ktpie thanks for the nod about the Blooming Marvellous sale, have always avoided them as so expensive but their sale is amazing! I've been after a swimming costume and even with postage that's cheaper than anywhere else I've found.

I agree, Scooby I would chat it through with the midwife for their exercise advice.

Enjoy your weekends, all.

So a lot of people are finishing at Christmas then? It doesn't half make it seem close!! My A/L runs jan to dec, so I do get new holidays next year, but want to keep as much time as possible after the baby is born. It's easier if the baby is on solids and not bfing quite so many times a day, and ds2 totally refused food until he was 7 and a half months old. On the other hand, stopping work in only 3 and a bit months.... appealing!!

Poor you, Shiregirl and Chinook. Hope things settle eventually for you. I'm down to about 3 hour or two long waves of nausea a day, such a relief! Side effect is my non-maternity clothes are only just holding it together now, I'm sure I'm growing every day now!

ktpie - how was dh's bike marathon? My dh got into mountain biking this year and is about to splash out on a proper bit of kit - he hasn't admitted to me how much it's going to cost yet though!

Scooby - I bet each mw or GP or obs you asked would give you a different answer, because I bet there's no decent research into it. Personally I believe (so no scientific back up whatsoever) that being physically strong can only possibly help your body through what's it's got to do in the next few months, especially labour. You have to watch because your looser ligaments mean that joint/back strains are easier to do, but I can't imagine a single, good piece of evidence which would tell you what exercise is right or wrong because every single person - including their previous fitness level - is totally different, and every pregnancy is totally different. That's my 2p worth anyway (says she who did a 15-mile hillwalk last weekend, but bugger did I feel like an old woman afterwards )

Oh golly lucky everyone with their ML sorted! I changed jobs within the company I work for (I now work under the French regime) but I have no contract yet! I'm only midly worried about it, but I've asked them about ML and they don't seem to have a clue. I think I'll get about four weeks prior to due date and eight weeks post, judging on what is the norm for France.

Grin - glad the Blooming Marvellous tip helped, last time I got a load of stuff in the Jojomamanbebe sale but there were some skirts and a dress that looked rubbish on me, they were so cheap it didn't seem worth sending them back so I chucked them in the back of the wardrobe. When I dug them out months later I stuck them on ebay and made at least the amount I'd paid for all of them, some things went for loads more! So my tip is if you get bargains and aren't sure about them keep the labels on them (until you wear them of course!) and you might be able to sell them on.

2Happy - he bashed his knee so they had to retire from the race, had been winning so was a bit annoyed, means he was home in time for tea which was nice for us. It's an expensive hobby, seems like most weeks something has broken which needs replacing, but it keeps him fit and happy so that's the main thing. Plus he has started cycling to and from work now (about 8/9 miles each way) so that saves money on diesel and means we only need one vehicle, which is good.

We are going camping in Wales tomorrow for a couple of nights, not too sure about it, the temperature seems to have really dropped this last week so think of us shivering in a tent somewhere tomorrow night!

Lovelymonster - my job is nowhere near as worthwhile as yours and AngelaCarleens I am afraid. I fly. I am in charge of the cabin crew on flights and we have to stop flying as soon as we get pregnant. When expecting dd I worked in one of the airlines offices but now work an unusual, but lovely, pattern of 2 weeks on 2 weeks off, and suspect there are no vacancies for someone who only works 2 weeks of the month! Suits me fine to be at home and I certainly don't miss the commute round the M25 to Heathrow.

Scooby - I think that you are doing the main thing which is to keep your heartrate below 140. Your body will tell you when it has had enough. My SIL is a personal trainer and still runs miles a week and is 25 weeks preg.

You lot all seem so active. Lots of walking is all I am managing at the moment. In fact today has been a particularly exhausting one. A friends bbq followed by the X Factor!

Lovelymonster- my pay will be effected a wee bit, but luckily I have A/L in the period they use to calculate my pay and they've allocated me nights/weekends for all of it . The difference in pay works out at about £70 after tax for the two months they're using, which is only just over £10 a month in my mat pay as I'm splitting it over the year - not worth worrying about really

Sorry Lovelymonster, forgot to mention they're using my sept and oct pay to calculate my mat pay. My plan (before occy health took me off them) was to stop working nights at least in october after the period for calculating was finished. A bit sneaky I know, but maybe worth considering if you don't feel good on the on-calls?

Wow! Not been on here for awhile, so many new names I don't recognise most of them.

Hope everyone is well.

I was 19 weeks on Wed just gone and happy to say my sickness is no longer - I was just about to lose it so I am so glad to feel normal. I've had a stinking cold but would prefer that any day to morning or "all day" sicnkess.

Hope everyone's bumps are growing nicely. Mine has really had a growth spurt and so has my head. I always get a fat head when pregnant -

This little baby inside kicks me all day and whenever i sit down. With my other two I only felt the first kick at 19 weeks, this time I felt it a few weeks ago - guess my tummy muscles are just softer. Started a pregnancy exercise class today and really enjoyed it. I did pregnancy yoga with my other two but its just so expensive but this class was fun and I felt like I worked my legs and arms.

Started reading about Hypnobirthing and really into it, anyone else had a hypnobirth or planning one?

I think I mentioned this before but I learnt a few techniques not long before my 2nd labour and I was calm with not much pain right up until I was fully dialated but something happened and I lost it and then bang the pain hit me. I just never got back to that calm place that i started so this time I want to learn how to do it properly and give birth calmly from beginning to end.

I'm not nervous at all about the birth so that is good for all you first timers to hear

The less scared you are the less pain you feel - trust me!

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Hi LovelyMonster, your job sounds similar in demands to mine last pregnancy, I was a defence solicitor on call some evenings and weekends and I found it very difficult to cope from 7 months onwards, not helped by a very unsympathetic boss. If you can make any changes now I would recommend it. I'm now in government legal service and the contrast is amazing.
Hi Scooby, further to the sound advice you've had already on exercise, i'm not as fit as you sounds but whenever I do too much exercise I feel sick afterwards, apparently a build up of lactic acid. So I guess our bodies are very good at telling us when to slow down! Either that or I am just appallingly unfit....

Thats true, I ran the London Marathon this year and fell pregant two weeks later. I planned to continue running like alot of my friends had done. Instantly I was so tired. I started to feel sick 24 hours a day from 5 weeks so just could not get out of bed most mornings never mind running.

Eventually I tried to go for a run and I ran really slow for 10 minutes, i came over all dizzy and was wrecked after. So I decided that my body was obviously shouting, "NO!!!!!!!!"

I am almost 20 weeks and only stopped feeling sick recently so I will start building up to a 20 min power walk a few times a week and build up to 30 mins of exercises and stretches after the walk. I hate feeling so unfit but I guess my body needed this rest.

This is my third baby and it really helps to be fit for labour. You cope much better especially if you want a natural birth with lots of active birth positions.

Your job with your last pregnancy sounded so tough, how did you cope with that. Good to know its different this time. Since giving birth to my first I work part time, could not face full time being pregnant again. I had to travel 90mins of train and tubes and most days people did not give up their seat even when I was massive. One evening on the home I was so tired that I just sat on the floor - immediately everyone dropped their newspaper shields and jumped up to offer their seat. Good trick!

I'm starting to panic about my job. I'm lugging heavy chairs around and standing up teaching. I'm also tired all the time and feeling very sick constantly. I told my boss I wouldn't be getting pregnant this year, and as I'm hourly paid, I'm starting to panic that they'll just get rid of me when they find out I'm pregnant, or make sure I get no maternity pay in some way. I'm far too scared to tell anyone as they've just dished out my hours- but they could take them away at any time. It's like I feel guilty for being pregnant and not telling them.

I'm going to be 18 weeks by the time I can tell them. As I'll have started teaching the classes so can't see them taking them off me. I'm 15 weeks at the moment, nearly 16, and I have a full on visable bump.

Any advice?

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied - sorry you are in this situation.

I have no advice but I am sure someone knowledgeable will come along soon. I'm sure you have rights. They cant take away your hours if they've already been agreed surely? Thats got to be illegal.

Clappedout - do you know about maternity rights.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied - there has to be a helpline that you can call. Plus even if you were not pregnant you can refuse to move heavy furniture around anyway. Thats not part of a teachers job description.

Good luck, look into straight away so you can rid yourself of this stress and enjoy your pregnancy. YOu must be thinking about it all the time and its not good for you.

Take care x

Thanks sweetie. They took away/gave me more hours hundreds of times last year- they seem to be able to do what they like. Which really worries me. I'm getting a copy of my hours on wed- so I'm going to ask them to write me a letter for working tax credits and sign it. That way, even though it's not a 'contract' it is signed and I can try to raise issues if they take hours off me after that. I never thought of a helpline, it would be great if there was one!!?

Totally - before I jacked it in to be a trolley dolley I used to be a solicitor too, though not in this area. Does your contract not state a minimum number of hours they have to give you? If not, I think it is an excellent idea to get the hours written down and signed off. That way if your employers do start cutting them back in the future you have at least some evidence these changes happened after you informed them you were pregnant. (keep a note of the date you do that too). Remember it is illegal to discriminate against a woman because she is pregnant. I agree that you should try to avoid moving the heavy chairs. I did a massive Waitrose shop today and really struggled to push the trolley when dd was in it too. Seem to have lost the use of my 'core' muscles all of a sudden. Think this is when injuries can start happening. Could you feign a back injury for a while?

Hope you aren't worrying yourself too much though. It is supposed to be a happy time and yet there is always something to cause distress.

Oh lord, maternity pay is a minefield isn't it? Totally, it all sounds very stressful. I have no advice but hope it all works out. If it's any help at all, I was locked in a contract dispute last time I was pregnant, and was advised to not say that I was pg until it was resolved. It really dragged on, and wasn't resolved particularly to my satisfaction, but I ended up at 22 weeks making my announcement! And nobody had guessed!

Flyingcloud, your mat leave sounds very short. Is that normal in France?

Very impressed at all you exercise bunnies. I went to Brighton yesterday with DH and DD, which involved around two hours of walking and I was ruined!

Hope everyone is feeling OK. We'll start coming up to 20 week scans soon - how exciting!

Hi Everyone. Have been contacted by my hospital to come in for a 16wk appointment. Does anyone know what this normally entails?

IIRC, the 16 week appointment is where they take bloods if you are wanting any of the screening tests done.

I think you get your notes at this point too, and they (guessing here!) might listen to the heartbeat.

Oh no, I woke up this morning with quite a big belly and as spotty as a teenager. Not long now til people I barely know start touching my tummy, yeuchh.

Getting up quickly in the night to my DD when she cries is definately not ok anymore, ligaments really don't like it. Time for DP to step in I think....

Sorry to hear your situation at work chinook, hope it works out and I agree with the feigned back injury advice, anything to get out of moving those chairs, your baby is way more important!