Due Feb 2010 part 2: the second trimester

[CaractacusPotty]

Not sure I am any more qualified, frankly, but hey ho!!

Hi guys.

Is anyone else worried about money? I can't imagine how I'll afford a double buggy, a sling, another cot and a car seat.

I've got to go to a party tonight and don't want to go. Got millions of braxton hicks and feel like poop

Hi Totally. Yes, money always there as a concern for us. Here are some practical ideas:

1. join and try Freecycle (apologies if it was you who said you already did earlier in the thread)
2. some people will ask what you want/need as a gift for small one, so you could always suggest practical ideas to them
3. if you know anyone just a stage or two ahead of you ask them if they'd like to sell you their bits (some may be glad to get rid and just give you stuff, we had this last time and it was great)
4. depending on if/where you (or friends etc) work, try posting a note on intranet or noticeboard etc with a 'hey anybody know of anyone trying to get rid of a....'
5. keep checking places for deals. we managed to get a bargain on car seat last time by checking a lot of places for sales over a period of time

Really hope that doesn't all sound patronising, it's just the stuff that goes through my head at 3am when I decide we can't afford anything!

Sorry you feel like that about your party - I feel the same today, really tight and uncomfortable. I went to see friends this morning (different kettle of fish to a party I know) and it perked me right up, perhaps your party will do the same.

Thanks Grin, some great ideas. Is it ok to use a second hand car seat?

I'll probably perk up by the party but my SPD is so bad at the moment that I can't walk properly and my tummy is sooooooooo sore

I'm a misery today.

Ah no good point about the car seat, they say not to use second hand don't they?

Oooh SPD yuck you poor thing, a friend had that and it sounds miserable. I reckon we're allowed to wallow in self pity just a little sometimes in pregnancy, it is a joyous and magical time but blimmin exhausting and uncomfortable! Make sure people look after you tonight and try to bagsee some time for a lovely long preparatory bath/shower before you go if poss!

Oooh a bath sounds lush. Might paint my nails, too Glad I came on here now I don't know how true the seond hand car seat thing is, I'll look into it and see, but there's other stuff I can get second hand. DH has just rung his auntie and hinted a little and she's going to let us borrow a cot (big posh one!) so there's one thing less to think about!

Good work! One item sorted already and that was only in a matter of hours. You'll have the lot sorted by Christmas!

Enjoy your pampering and the party.

TotallyAndUtterly Tesco and Asda have Group 0 and O/1 car seat/ carriers for around the £25-£35 that meet EU standards. I'm sure other places do too. Maybe Amazon... Plus we're lucky to be due in February, we can get bargains in the sales after the craziness the is Christmas! That's what I'm counting on cause house renovation is expensive!

Fluffycoo my MIL laughed and first and said, 'you wont be able to, you're too old', I'm 30. She genuinely thought I was joking! She was a midwife in a hospital before going into Social Work about 25 years ago. Then apparently it was an obligatory shave and enema to keep things tidy so things are quite different now (I hope), and I've been slowly re-educating her. Some of my friends think I'm off my head, but the way I see it is at least I'll be at home for longer, with 2 midwifes keeping and eye on me & bump and if I have to go in, so be it!

My Mum and My Aunt both planned homebirths with their first born (one of who was me!) and had to get transferred to hospital, but had successful second births at home. That side of the family didn't bat an eyelid. My Mum's not with us any more but my Aunt's been filling me in on her experiences and is really supportive.

DH was sceptical at first thinking the hormones had maybe sent me doolally but now thinks it's a great idea. However I do reserve the right to change my mind when the day does come and demand to be taken to hospital and pumped full of every painkiller going!

How have your family & friends reacted?

like grin i'm spreading the cost of anything i need to buy hence pj's this far ahead (also they had to travel 12000 miles to get here - erk so much for carbon footprint) last time i packed my bag at 39 weeks when i finished work! think i may be slightly more organised this time, but not much!!

Totally i think the car seat recommendation is that if they've been involved in a car accident they may no longer be safe... if you're getting secondhand you may not know one way or another... we got over this by getting them off friends who we trusted! In fact, we got car seats for 9months-11years for 20quid (4 of them!!) and 0-9months for free... need to buy one this time tho cos no-one we know has one spare!! In fact we're hiring one from the local plunkett room here - might be worth checking at local library to see if there's a car seat hire place locally? mind, if you can get one for 30quid from asda, it'll probably cost you about the same!

I'd say glucose tabs are a good idea for labour, also i had some glucose mint things which were ace and helped with the nausea too! Personally i'd give chocolate a miss - i had two pieces of dairymilk and regretted it when i very suddenly projectile vommed over myself, DH and the floor - yeuch!

Enjoy the rest of your weekends all! hope all the parties and celebrations go well!

Stoofadoof - I was just about to say the same thing about car seats and accidents, for DS we borrowed one of the baby carrier type seats from one of my best friends, she is currently using it for her 3rd and has said we can have it back when we need it, in fact she is lending us her double buggy as well.

Totally - we are skint as well, self imposed as we moved house this year which sucked up all our savings and I didn't go back to work after my maternity leave, partly because on the salary I was on we wouldn't have been that much better off anyway once we'd paid for childcare.
We have found that we have got loads of stuff from friends, it's really helped.
Last time I used ebay a lot as well, got a great moses basket and stand for £5, although we did buy a new mattress for it.

Great idea about the arnica tablets for piles, I've still got some left over from last time, although I gave them to DH when he bashed his knee the other week and last saw them lurking in the van so might treat myself to a new packet.

Not going to be packing my bag for a while yet, I'm not that organised!

Sunnybump - I was wondering about the swine flu jab as well, got a midwife appointment this week so think I will ask her about it. Feel like it's not something I particularly want (the jab that is, and swine flu!), but as the jab will be similar to the normal flu jab, which has a history of being used successfully in pregnant women, and swine flu is apparently particularly dangerous in pregnant women I am leaning towards having it. I will probably have changed my mind again tomorrow.

Hope you are all well, we have dodgy tummies here, think it is a cold, I am finding it hard to distinguish between nausea from illness and nausea from morning sickness. DS has had diarrhea today so some lovely nappies!

Hi all,

hospital bags? already? whaooo {amazed emoticon} I call that organised! I think I won't do anything before 30+ weeks. I do sympathised with all of you who feel huge and old, I didn't want to say anything but climbing to my appart (4 flight of stairs) and up and down the subway is getting difficult. I am puffing, and it is difficult to pick stuffs from the floor, I thought it was just my old age!
Re-usable nappies I don't see why? Those poor older babies can't walk properly in them and seeing new borns with their legs so appart makes me sorry for them. Plus they are usually changed less often so it can't be good for them either. (Though I do see a lot of children with overfilled disposables and it makes me cringed). Plus the idea of washing poo in MY washing mashing (I know they go to a "detox" bath before) and having to put my clothes afterward {yuk emoticon}. As a microbiologist I don't think it is enough, I would bleashed, washed and boiled them for at least 20 min in between in special pans and honnestly I don't have time and space to do that (that probably defeats the ecology thing as well) and where to dry all the extra laundry? I am already struggling without a new born (I admit the weather is not helping at the moment!) Sorry for renting, I guess I just feel a bit guilty for not using any and have to find excuses I do agree we should try to reduced the impact so probably biodegradable or recycled ones and potty training as soon as possible (before 2 +). If I have the courage and find the trick, I might try the "chinese" pee on command baby, it is supposed to work from 4/6 months but takes a lot of training from mum and a bit from baby. I will see if my 4.5 years old let me have enough spare time to try!

I'm not feeling huge yet, actually I'm feeling pretty much as normal, apart from the whole getting booted in the tummy area quite often . I have had very sore boobs return though. Just in time for DH's return tomorrow! Oh well.

Back on to hospital bags, do you need to take a change of clothes for DH/DP (just thinking of stoofadoof upchucking all over hers thats all). DH would be very upset at having to get in his car if he was covered in sick

Only 9 weeks left until I finish work now, woohoo!!!!!!!! Gosh, it's going very quick isn't it

Angela - I seem to remember packing a spare t-shirt for DH, you don't know how long they are going to be stuck in hospital with you plus there is all sorts of grot they could get covered in.

Mamaloco - At the risk of ranting on myself when actually what nappies you use doesn't bother me personally (apart from the environmental aspect) I feel the need to defend my use of washables!
DS doesn't walk any differently in disposables or reusables and when he kept landing heavily on his bum he looked very surprised if he was wearing a disposable and didn't have the extra padding.
I was under the impression that babies were changed more often in reusables (I've heard that used as a reason not to use them) and DS always seems to get nappy rash if he is in disposables for any length of time.
Surely you end up putting pooey stuff in your washing machine anyway when you have a baby? I'm remembering fondly the time when DS did a massive one that leaked out all over him, me and the sofa, nice!
Admittedly I dropped microbiology fairly early on at uni (didn't get on with the peering down microscopes part of it) and perhaps our washing machine is full of bacteria but it probably would be anyway with DH filling it with muddy cycling kit every day. It doesn't smell at all there doesn't seem to be any build up of mank. I do prefer to hang the nappies out in the sun if possible as I have a notion that that will help kill any bacteria left (but like I said my microbiology knowledge is patchy).
Healthwise DS's current bout of diarrhea is the first time he has ever had an upset tummy and he is 15 months and so far has still never vomited since he was weaned (fingers crossed). I'm fairly positive this illness was courtesy of DH's colleague and nothing to do with nappies.
Personally I credit using reusables as one of those things that helps us save enough money for me to quit work and be a SAHM. Also I hate supermarkets so having one less thing to buy is great.
OK rant over, I know washing nappies isn't everyones cup of tea, but I don't like the idea of people who are keen being put off trying.

In the light of your thoughts, Sunnybump and ktpie, just thought I'd signpost a swine flu vaccination/pregnancy thread I have been watching, very interesting to hear lots of people's points of view. Will just work out how to do it...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/843873-Quick-poll-Pg-ladies-how-pg-are-you-and-will does that work?

Thanks Grin, did look at that the other day but only read the beginning of it, at that point it seemed to be predominantly negative towards the jab. Having a quick look at the more recent posts they seem more in favour. Like your comments AngelaCarleen!

I'm not getting sucked into the resuable/disposable arguement, but it's definitely true that never mind the nappies, you're going to be washing plenty of poo in your washing machine - no nappy can contain it!! Or, indeed, when they are 2.8 and have diarrhoea without bothering to tell you and you end up washing all their clothes and the sofa covers because they were playing on the sofa at the time . Oh yes, we've had a good weekend...

Also totally undecided on the jab. I feel I ought to - I want to protect my baby. Also wouldnt want to get it and pass it onto the boys (though, let's face it, it's more likely to be the other way round!!!), but can't help feeling nervous about using a new vaccine in pregnancy. I know it's produced like seasonal flu vaccines, but it has been rushed out and in much bigger volumes than have ever been produced, and since one would need to wait a lot of months before absolutely knowing any safety data in pregnancy... it just makes me nervous. I don't think that there is a right or wrong answer, I think everyone just has to make the decision that's right for them (much like the nappies debate, the bf/ff debate, the co-sleeping/not debate...)

I'm very undecided re the swine flu jab. So far I've managed to keep my head well and truly in the sand. Seeing MW next week so perhaps I'll ask her advice (and it's not as if I've been offered it yet).

Fluffycoo and sunnybump I'm hoping for a home birth too. My family's been very supportive apart from my Dad who doesn't like the idea of me giving birth in my living room I think... I certainly haven't given any thought to a hospital bag yet! Even if baby decides to come early, I do hope it wouldn't be before Christmas I am looking forward to having January to myself.

Hope all you party animals are having a fab weekend!

Been to the Baby Show at Earls Court today and am absolutely cream-crackered, found the whole thing a bit disappointing as well tbh... never mind! Like ktpie I moved house a few months ago and am utterly skint so I was hoping for some real bargains... think I'll stick to ebay!

sunnybump thanks for coming back on the whole home birth thing - weirdly my Dad has been the most strongly opposed, I think he's just doing that whole Dad thing of protecting his little girl (awww) whereas Mum doesn't seem convinced, but is perhaps biding her time before wading in (normal tactics!). DH is undecided - I think he would be more at ease having the whole medical arsenal at our disposal from the word go, but I'm sure he'll be happy doing whetever makes me comfortable. My Nan on the other hand is from deepest Wales, back in her day babies were born at home by default! She didn't bat an eyelid! Funny how everyone has an opinion - your MIL's assertion that you're too old though... yikes!! Bless her!

My outlook it is much the same as yours - if having a healthy, safe delivery means that i need to transfer to hospital, so be it. It's lovely that you have your Aunt for advice and support - my best mate is the one I've been relying on, she had a home birth with her second back in August and had planned the same with her first but ended up being induced; she thoroughly recommends the home birth experience! Have you read any of the books?

Ooh, one more thing, just wanted to say another big thanks to ktpie and grin for the v-pillow tip - picked mine up yesterday... love it! What a bargain! x

D'oh just crossed - welcome to the home birth gang Fizi! Dads eh? They never accept that their little girl is all growed up do they?! Will be interesting to see how many of us stay at home for the whole thing... meant to ask if anyone has discussed birth options with their MW yet? Am i just being a bit previous?!

Thanks for the link to the swine flu vaccine debate, I added my thoughts.

Nice to catch up with everybody's posts. Seems to be going really quickly now! We're more than halfway.

am feeling a little responsible for the hosp bag talk, what with my pj excitement! sorry!!

am feeling absoblinkinlutely knackered today... DD at 2.11 still doesn't sleep through, but for the last week has had a cough and cold which has meant being up half a dozen times most nights... DH and I take it in turns (one night on, one off) but you still wake up, and i'm finding it difficult to get back to sleep at the mo... ho hum...

angelac i'd defo put a clean t-shirt in for your DH!

though i honestly haven't given thought to a hosp bag, mine will def have pj's, lanolin, lip salve, bellywader knicks (lots!), apples, big old towel, some muslins and 5 lots of vests etc for LO.... (off the top of my head, which is aching boo)

how is it possible that DD can have barely slept last night, but still be running rings round me?!?! s'not fair! she is of course having 30 mins on sofa with TV at mo - hence my chance to catch up on MN.. hmm maybe i should be having a kip instead!

stay well everyone!

midnight sun and grin just caught up on the swine flu thread too... thanks for that... down here the decision whether or not to have it is academic at mo, as we're into spring... last time i checked it was also unclear whether nz would have access to any vaccine anyway . Am quite glad really i don't have to make a decision at the mo... but i am being VERY -obsessive careful about handwashing, and have a little bottle of handcleaner in my bag whenever out and about!! I am also in some ways relieved that i can't get a job and we can't afford for DD to go to any kind of daycare at mo too!

I must be a freak then (bordeline OCD?) when there is poo leakage or vomit (sorry TMI), I scrape everything in toilet then I hand wash everything and then bleach the bath/shower and toilets and put every thing in washing mashine at 90 with a bleash cycle, I can't do that for every nappy changed, it takes hours. My favorite is when it is at night in the bed...
I do agree with 2happy, everybody should do what is good for them, if you are trying to follow "rules" that don't fit your lifestyle you are going to be unhappy and it is not good for DC...
Really confused about the jab, and the more I read the more I get confused!

Hello all,

Sorry have been so quiet - I have been checking and reading (and this thread is always so lovely), but have lost track of who is doing what so apologies.

We had a good weekend of birthdays and Diwali, and I managed it without getting too tired. I did have about ten nosebleeds over the course of the weekend though. I know it's a pg thing, and i had them last time, but it is darned annoying, especially when I bleed onto my meagre maternity wardrobe! Thanks for all the Diwali messages? Hope all the other cake making went well (I plumped for fairy cakes).

I have my scan and consultant appointment tomorrow, and am hideously nervous about the latter - I'm scared that they'll say I have to trial by labour before they decide about a section, which given the damage from last time, makes me feel sick to just think about.

Re. nappies, I'm a disposables girl, and the cheaper the better. In fact, I'm a bit of cheapskate on the whole parenting thing, but am always happy to lend stuff out when it's not in use. To whoever was asking about going things on the cheap, have any of your friends got baby stuff they don't need anymore? So much stuff you only use for a couple of months, so it's just not worth buying if you can avoid it. And I found that I just didn't need some things (baby bath, top and tail bowl etc).

As for the swine flu vaccine, I'm waiting to see what actually happens. As GP surgeries are only going to get a box of 500 vaccines to start with (and that probably at the beginning of November at the earliest), and will have to prioritise people who usually have the seasonal flu vaccine, I'm not sure how soon pregnant women will be approached. It's really going to depend on the supply and distribution chain, s far as I can tell. And other resources, such as freeing up nurse time to administer the things. I've also had swine flu, so am interested to know if there's any benefit in having the vaccine - nothing I'm read from the JCVI and DH have helped me on that front.

Hmm, very long post, and quite dull. Better go... waves to all x