Due Feb 2010 part 2: the second trimester

[CaractacusPotty]

Not sure I am any more qualified, frankly, but hey ho!!

On the second hand kit side I quite agree - I have an offer of 2 different sets of wheels now - people are usually quite keen to get shot of their baby stuff (or loan it out) as it is so bulky. There are nearly always signs up about second hand baby stuff in our local cafe. My friend put all her baby stuff on Freecycle and someone came for it within half a day (in a Range Rover...!)

I understand you always need a fresh mattrass for each baby though.

I have had 2 homebirths - it's fine and not too messy if you get a plastic sheet. But my births were so quick (DS2 was 20 mins) that had no midwife with me (didn't get there) so ended up in hospital anyway and with 'too quick labour symptoms'. I had never been in an ambulance before I had my babies!!

This time hoping to be induced for more controlled experience at 38 weeks. Will be able to get childcare for my boys and not give birth in the street or something. Well, that's the plan....

Intrigued to know about hospital bags - I never managed one yet. When I had ds1 some lovely ambulance man (they send an ambulance crew for baby and one for mum so quite a party) asked me if I had anything for the baby to wear. I think they might have thought that I didn't know I was pregnant...I had him at 39 weeks.

Am starting to feel really unfit -back aching, can't breathe as well etc. Must try to go swimming but pool is truly disgusting - last time I was there someone had done a poo in the showers....

A POO IN THE SHOWERS?! Wow. I thought that the odd floating plaster in mine was pretty disgusting.

I'm very impressed at anyone who is going to any organised classes. I walk as often as I can but apart from that, do no exercise at all and I'm a little obsessed about how much weight I'm gaining. Perhaps I shouldn't be monitoring it so obsessively but a few sites have said that weight gain should be about half a pound a week at the moment - and I can't keep it under a pound a week no matter what I do (well, I haven't tried that hard actually thinking about it. Still eating a lot of cake. But what else is there to do?!).

Fluffycoo I aked my MW about a home birth at 16w! I was all worried as she'd automatically written on my notes 'hospital birth'. When I said I want to give birth at home she was fine, said very breezily that as long as there were no complications they would book me in at 36w, and recommended that we get a 'pool in a box'.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow Watercress - hope it goes the way you want it to.

All of a sudden these past few days I'vbe felt the baby move more often - I feel I'm catching up wtih you lot at last! It's very exciting!

I do agree with you fizzi, I am impressed by anybody doing organised classes. I don't have a car so I walk between 1h and 4h per day depending of schedule. But the thought of going 1 h of pilates exhausts me! MW says try it, if you feel better afterwards go on, if you feel worse stop as this means no energy left. I am also pilling, 10 kg so far (bit more than 20 pounds?) at 24 weeks, no matter how little I eat. I do have cakes too sometimes, and just finish a small pot of nutella in 2 days (emotionnal reasons )
The poo goes in the toilet fizzi! And I bleach everything including gloves, shower... afterward. If I was lucky enough to have outside space I would do it there though. Enough of that!
Good luck with your scan watercress and your appointment. I don't think they can force you to try VB first if you really don't want to! But I understand why you would be scared, I think the policy is so much for "natural" in the UK that they delay things and create unnecessary worries. I am conviced that DD should have been "taken out" long before she went in distress, my current MW seems to agree too.
Here it is the contrary they will automatically do a CS after a CS unless you fight against it, I am still undecided but you don't decide before the 32-34 weeks scan. I am scared of both VBAC and CS TBH.

Sorry fizzi when I post I didn't have motherof2boys story (weird!). I thought my swimming pool was disgusting enough with black grim on the tiles....

Watercress my brain must be turning to mush as I don't recall the end of your message. If you had swine flu (Have you tested positive for H1N1?) then you don't need the vaccine as you are already immune. No need to worry or make a decision, it's sorted for you.

Watercress mamaloco is right. If you know you have definitely had swine flu (they swabbed and tested positive) then you are immune and there's no need or point you getting the vaccine. Good luck with the scan and consultant.

I think I am starting to get fat, my thighs are looking decidedly chunky. I've been so lethargic recently, have had a lingering cold which hasn't helped and have become incredibly lazy. Really need to start doing some sort of exercise I think.

That swimming pool sounds horrible!

Not going for a home birth here, we are quite a long way from the nearest hospital and the palava they had getting DS out has put me off.

I confess I will be using disposables as well. Breastfeeding is going to be my only nod to the environment...

I am having a hospital birth. Was at a midwife-led centre last time but ended up having a c-section and this time they want to monitor me in the hospital, which I'm happy to go along with.

I'm using natal hypnotherapy CDs to relax in pregnancy, address any underlying negative feelings about the c-section and prepare for a VBAC. Time will tell if they work...! The relaxing bit is certainly very effective. Surprisingly so!

It's taken me ages to catch up with all the posts! I have no idea about the whole disposable/reuaseable nappy issue, i haven't even thought about a hospital bag and I'm still researching the swine flub jab issue.

I'm gradually growing a bump but I still have to tell people I'm pg and not just a little chubby! I'm really fortunate in that I get time to exercise every day. I'm still running a couple of times a week and then I swim, use the gym or go to yoga on the other days.

Quick question, if you but a travel system is it possible to use the carry cot as the baby's main cot for the first few months, if you buy the right matress to go in it?

I meant buy not but!

i had a bebecar travel system and DS2 slept in the carry cot bit untill he was 7mths old.it was huge. getting a hammock this time as no room for carrycot in my room but will prob use the carrycot downstairs.

I have a hammock but it did occur to me as I put it away in the loft 3 years ago that we could have saved ourselves the money (it was ridiculously expensive, although quite cool) and just used the carry cot for the first 6 months. We stopped using the hammock at 6 months as I suspected he might be able to climb or wriggle out so it was over to a cot in his own room at that point.

I must admit I'm looking forward to getting the hammock down again though, I had it hanging on its stand within arm's reach from my side of the bed.

Hello All. Wow that has taken some catching up!!

All is good here - a bit hot today 28C so I am in shorts and tshirt feeling sweaty. I am not looking forward to summer.

I am getting loads of kicks and movement from baby. DH has even seen some of the big kicks!

They are offering swine flu vaccines here for pregnant women but I have decided not to have it as I feel that the risk is lower here coming out of the flu season. I also feel that it has been rushed out and not enough is known about it's effectiveness and any side affects.

I too will be using disposable nappies - I have had to make a tough call on this one. We have water restrictions here atm as we have been in drought for quite a few years so do I preserve our limited water resources or our environment and landfills??

I do use washable wipes with my DS as he has very sensitive skin. I am also planning on breast feeding for as long as possible because I am cheap and lazy!!!

I have noticed recently that my boobs have finally had a growth spurt which I am very pleased about - my girls have never been what you could describe as impressive or even noticable!! The only downside is that my bras have become big time crumb catchers!! I am discovering all sorts of goodies when I get undressed!

I sorted through all of the newborn clothes I had last week - OMG I reckon I could dress twins quite easily. I had forgotten just how much I had. I did start wanting this baby to be a girl once I started going through all of the pink clothes. They were just so cute. I am really not going to have to buy anything for this baby. We have - car seat, pram, double pram, moses basket, clothes, wipes, nappies(bought a few packets on sale), blankets, baby bath, baby towels. Everyone can just buy me presents instead!

Take care!

My DS2 has suggested a baby name which was actually the one the DH and I were favouring, although the DCs were not to know this!

DS1 was really upset with DS2 and said how much he really doesn't like that name and when I said that a name goes with the person he just said that we couldn't have one of those in the family...

anyone else had this sort of conversation?

Dh says that rather than change our minds we should try and soften him up to it.

ps - it's not an unusual or uncool or embarrassing name...!!!

I wonder why your DS1 is so against it, motherof2boys? Has he had a bad experience with someone of that name in the past?

If you are really stuck for an alternative, could you "rebrand" the name as "baby x" while you are pg and for the first few months? That way DS1 may feel it's a slightly different name, then by the time you drop the "baby" tag, he will have forgotten about the nasty association?

Scooby we didn't use a carry cot from a pram, but we did use a travel cot (we were given one but the mechanism got stuck in the up position, and we didn't have a "normal" cot). We got a decent mattress to go in it, and it was fine. In fact, it had the added bonus of travel cots being the same the world over, so we never had a problem getting DD to sleep if we went away!

Esselle, how organised are you, with nappies sorted out already?!

Mamaloco thanks for your advice on the CS (and horrified at the poo at the swimming pool!). Fingers crossed for this afternoon's appointment.

watercress - thanks for your ideas. We know a few boys of this name and they are ok I think (one of them is very nice, which is probably why DS2 came out with it). Years ago there was a boy at the school who was a bit difficult, in fact he left to go to a more specialist educational establishment, but I don't think DS1 had any particularly bad experience.

As we have 2DSs and our baby that died earlier this year was also a boy (and we kind of had a name for him which we didn't use formally but which I think of as his name so I'm not sure I want to use now) alternatives are getting scarcer as there is a limited 'suitable' pool of names and we have a large family of males....

One of DH's cousins let their older kids name the younger one so he has a 'Miley Cyrus' type moniker for the rest of his life.
Trying to avoid this situation...

With you on the name pain, motherof2 - dh's family don't do girls plus we have two boys (and no doubt this one will be too) it's really hard to pick a name that dh doesn't say "I've got a cousin called that" (though I'm tempted to say so what, you rarely see your cousins!!). We asked our kids what they wanted to callt he baby and they reckoned Bob was good. We asked what if it was a girl. They reckoned Bob was still good.....

One the names front... One of my sisters has objected to our boys name on the grounds that, shortened, it would be similar to the name that she would like to call her son - if she has a son. She's not pregnant, or in a relationship, and when she does (I hope) get pregnant, who's to say she'll have a boy? (Or that we will, come to that.)

I think all you can do motherof2boys is go for the name YOU like and if other people don't like it (even your children!) that's tough. It's your baby

Very sorry to hear of your loss earlier this year.

Hi Ladies. Haven't checked in for ages but have been reading everything. Had my scan yesterday and baby is fine (it's a boy!). They did say that I have placenta praevia and may have to have a C-section if it doesn't move up. To be honest I didn't know what this was and made the mistake of googling it when I got home - consequently I woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep anymore. Has anyone else had/ has this? What makes me very nervous is that I will be flying at 30-31 weeks which will be before the next scan so I won't know if it's moved up when we go away. I did mention this to the midwife and she seemed to think it was fine. Maybe i'm just being silly but it's my first baby and I feel like I know nothing at all.

The whole naming thing is tricky. We had agreed on a boys name but then when we told my partners family they were obviously indifferent didn't like it and now my partner is changing his mind. I love the name and lots of other people do too - including him! I just feel like we've considered a million names and only come up with one that we both agree on!

Anyway I hope everyone is keeping happy & healthy.

Just back from my scan and all is well. I have to go back at 32 weeks as I have a low lying placenta, but they were very reassuring and gave me a leaflet that said that one in six at this stage are considered low, but at 32 weeks, 95 per cent of them have moved so are fine. If you still have a low placenta at 32 weeks, they rescan at 36 weeks when only 1 per cent are still low. If that's the case, they do a section. They also gave some advice on bleeding etc, but to be honest, I think any pg woman who gets bleeding gets it checked out regardless of the site of the placenta. Does that help westlondongirl? I'm not going to worry about it for now (and will not google it!).

The other good news is that I didn't have to put up a fight for the C-section at all. When I recounted my history, they looked slightly horrified, then made a note for me to go back at 36 weeks to book in for a section at 39 weeks. So that's a massive relief.

Re the names debate, we've been told it's a girl and as we could only agree on girl's names, it's a bit of a blessing (though as we already have a DD, DH was slightly disappointed - then I pointed out that he's in charge of gender determination at the outset, which soon shut him up). Our plan is to not tell anyone the name we have chosen, thereby preventing anyone putting us off it (we also can only agree on one name, so it would be a disaster if that happened).

fiziwizzle, I think your sister is being a bit unreasonable about the name! Who is to say that she'll even still like the name when it comes round to it, even if you don't use it?! And that's on top of all the reasons you gave.

*2Happy", looking forward to your birth announcement for baby Bob. Though the name Bob always makes me think of Blackadder. Just me?

We are sticking with our name choices! Lots of people don't seem to like our girls name and my sister has the problem with the boys name, but we're not budging - we agree and that's all that matters. So long as we don't change our minds once s/he pops out...

watercress me too - Bob = Blackadder!

fiziwizle My brother used a name i've always wanted for his DD (while I was TTC, it's a family name i love). I got over it quickly - she suits her name totally! I'm sure your sister will.

We've had both parents saying "you're not going to give your baby some awful name like... are you?" and then MIL giving helpful suggestions. I was quite clear that it was tough if they didn't like it, that, yes, it would be an unusual name (we like to be original), and they could spend the next few months working out how to tell their friends what an awful name their grandchild has. It really is up to parents, not sibs or inlaws or anyine. We make it, we name it.

having said that, i bet our parents' generation did feel that they should listen to their parents, and maybe we're different.

We aren't going to tell anyone the name because i know once it's born no-one wll be able to tell us what they really think!!

esselle are you in Australia? can't think where else would be having the weather you have now! Maybe south america? or south africa?

I'm in the keeping names under our hat camp. Not that we have discussed names yet and probably won't until the last minute. It's hard enough choosing ones we both agree on, I'm not interested in anyone elses opinions. Although if DS was old enough to understand what we are on about we would probably tell him.
Fizi - you do right to stick to your name choices.

Saw my midwife today, it was the lovely one I had throughout my pregnancy with DS but hadn't seen yet this time. She was pleased to see DS who she hasn't seen since he was 1 day old and is now 15 months. Everything was fine, got the health in pregnancy form and a MATB1(?) certificate for DH's paternity leave. She has also put a big prescription order in for me to pick up later this week, Gaviscon, Anusol, Lactulose and Fybogel, lucky me.

What paternity leave are your DH's taking? Seems to be a news topic at the moment. DH gets one week full pay and one week statutory so last time we could only afford for him to take the first week. But it was near the end of his holiday year and he had all of his holiday left so ended up having loads of time off anyway for the first few months, the timing this time means that won't really be the case. What are you all doing?

names? we're keeping under our hat too! though DD (2.11) has been calling him baby Angus for weeks - especially to grandparents etc... dunno if they believe us that that isn't a name we're considering!!

actually, i get p'd off with people asking what names we're thinking about then getting stroppy if we say 'we haven't decided yet' (rather than saying we've decided but not saying! we haven't actually decided, honest!) whose baby is it?!?!?! personally, i never ask people a) if they know what they're having or b) what they're going to call it cos i figure if they want to talk about it or tell you, they will.... but maybe i'm odd

DH has 'entitlement' to paternity leave here, but it comes off his annual leave?!?! so he's allowed to take two weeks paid, but this results in two weeks less hols for hte year... hmm ... we're trying to get through til baby due without taking any hols so we've got some saved up... means he's working christmas eve and n/y eve & day but he is getting christmas day off, so not too bad... and it's a bank hol here this coming weekend, so three days off in a row! yippee

Evening all. Or morning to those of you in warmer climes!

Glad everyone is well and scans have gone well too. westlondongirl I second the advice not to worry about a low lying placenta. I have it too, in fact I think there are at least 4 of us with it on here. I was just pleased to be getting another scan. Only a tiny minority stay low as far as I understand.

I have been avidly following the swine flu thread. It is excellent. Really well informed. I think I am leaning towards having the vaccine now. I won't be a very good mum to anyone if I am not here and the risky time seems to be the 3rd trimester, which is just round the corner from us. How did it get here so soon??

Has anyone else got a copy of the new mumsnet pregnancy book? I just got mine and it is very entertaining.