Due November 2009 - second trimester thread part 2

[skorpion]

Hope this works

Laugs I agree with you...the first three months are like a dream..you're falling in love, in a bubble trying to get this wee thing to feed,sort out the colic (nightmare)..Its the closest you'll ever feel. I liked Breastfeeding but it was easy for me as DD was quick to latch on and at 9lbs 1oz she was starving all the time.

Pavlov hope you feel better soon.
I was in london for a night on Fri...hope I don't get Swine Flu...Tell you what I was glad to come back to Geneva..London is sooooo busy.. I was knocked over so many times and people just don't care about the bump do they?

Erika It takes me a while every night to get comfortable to sleep. I have a wedge pillow (mothecare & toys r us stock them)that I put under my tummy when I lay on my side. I also have a thin pillow between my knees as this relieves my hips of the extra weight. I did invest in a big maternity pillow but haven't found it very comfortable to use. I'm sure the sleep difficulties helps our body prepare for the sleepless nights ahead when baby arrives . I also have 4 pillows I can use if I need to prop myself up. We have Sure Start scheme in our area, they run a young mothers group. Maybe you have something like this near by.

Eek, that NCT swine flu advice has scared me. Would quite like to hide away for the next few months.

erika I hope you're feeling better today.
I don't find it hard to get to sleep, but when I wake in the night I really struggle to get back to sleep. My most comfortable is on my side with the top knee bent over in an L shape to take some of the weight. Does anyone know which side you're not supposed to sleep on? I can't remember but I know I read it somewhere last time round.

becky I meant to ask if things are better for DS1 at school?

Morning all and welcome to funtimewincies, congratulations on the good scan news.

erika We also have a sure start scheme here, they run loads of different groups and you find people from every walk of life. I went to a new baby group with ds2 and am still in contact with 3 of the mums I met there. Ours also run a teenage group and a baby massage group all of which are free.

helips where did you go camping? We're going to Sherwood forest in Nottinghamshire this weekend with a group of family/friends, I love camping although I think my ds s are a bit older than yours? (mine are 2 and 5). This weekend is our last trial before our 2 week holiday.

I can also recommend a v shape pillow to help with sleeping, they also double as a b/f cushion.

Anyone worried about b/f see if you can manage to stay in hospital for a day a 2 after the birth, I did this with ds1 and got loads of help!
My biggest recommendation for successful b/f though is joining a support group, I b/f ds1 for only 3 months (i had no friends with new babies no real support after leaving midwife care) with ds2 I b/f for 9 months but mainly due to the fact that most of my friends who had babies the same age were b/f too!

Sorry for huge post again!
Hope everyone is having a good day, I'm off to start packing now.

katster yes I'm in Gipsy Hill so have to choose between NCT in Croydon or Brixton, neither of which are particularly close. Just trying to weigh up the expense etc but will probably end up going. Also not sure if the weekend intensive or the course over several evenings would be better.

laugs I think you're supposed to sleep on your left side.

I've woken up full of cold feeling dreadful(uh, oh!)and am starting to get terribly stressed which has led to quite a few tearful episodes. It seems that everyone has waited until the last minute to ring / email with stupid questions about the wedding.

After I said I absolutely did not want a hen do, I conceded to a picnic and going to see a show on Saturday. I assumed it had been sorted but am now getting phonecalls & emails as nothing has been sorted at all and I suddenly have to make loads of decisions. I swear after my wedding I never want to organise anything again!

Sorry for whinge.

thanks lemontop, I'll try to remember that. I should have known it was the side I don't like.

Organising a wedding is stressful. Is there anything you can delegate? Could your bridesmaid sort out the picnic? I think in the end you need to get the help you can, even if it means letting go of some things.

Re the NCT thing. I didn't do it last time, but did go to a full day antenatal course at the hospital. We couldn't do evening sessions as they were too early for us, but I think this would have been a better way to meet friends. Just meeting people for a day, we didn't get to know anyone well enough to keep in touch.

tigger I am hoping to join a BF support group this time too, as they now have one in my area.

Thanks you lovely ladies, what would I do without you? I tried google-ing for some groups but it didn't provide much. So will speak to my MW. Mum might know about surestart groups. Thanks

I didn't know there was a side you were supposed to sleep on... I've been sleeping on my left, though...

Lemontop I hope you feel better soon!

Morning ladies

Well, back from hols and it's taken days (literally!!) to catch up on all the messages. I think we were on about page 4 when I left!!
So, apologies now for that fact that I can barely remember who said what

Congrats on all the great scan news.

Wizzy want to say sorry to hear about your little one having the skin condition but that makes it sound negative which isn't what I want to convey. So, congrats on seeing your lovely wee boy and congrats on now having 20 weeks to learn all about his condition so as to give him the best care.
We felt the same with regards to any tests I've had - anything we learnt was just information to help us prepare.

Erika we have surestart centres here in Brighton (I'm in Hove in case you didn't know). I know there's one in Hollingbury and I think there are also a few others dotted around the place. Your mw will know, and they run all sorts of great groups and classes which are either free or on a sliding scale dependent on benefits/income.

Lemontop try not to stress too much about the wedding organising. I married just under 2 years ago and can still remember the amount that there was to organise. Delegation is definitely the key. Another trick is to write a priority list and then tick them off - i.e #1 = dress, #2 = service etc. You'll be amazed how much of the main stuff you've got covered, and can relax then when the things that aren't done sit at #'s 18 or lower.

I'll add to the positive birth stories. Labour #1 5.5 hours, had pethidine and it was a pain free dream. Labour #2 3.5 hours with gas and air. Out of the two of them it was dd (no 1) that bf the best and latched on pretty much straight away despite my having pethidine. Guess it just goes to show there's no rhyme or reason for what happens, and nature will decide which way it goes. Flexibility is the key I think, if you can roll with what's happening then it's much less stressful.

Savoy cabbage - what a godsend. Pavlov I didn't realise you were supposed to soak the leaves!!!! I used to keep the cabbage in the fridge and just put a leaf or two in my bra! They do end up almost cooking after a while though [screwed up nose stinky emoticon]!

Apparently the sleep thing is more to do with the position of the baby. Left side is optimum as baby will then gravitate to being spine against your tummy which is best position for labour. If you're on your back, baby can gravitate to back to back - spending time on all fours can encourage baby to move back though!! I think the right side can cause Mum discomfort in the later stages as there are nerves and arteries running down that side which baby can inadvertantly squash.

Phew - that's my brain dump of what I can remember you've all been talking about!!

All pretty good here, getting lots of kicks and the odd cramp. Heartburn is my main symptom and seems to be there for most of the day Went away whilst on holiday so I suspect it's triggered by all the rushing around for work etc. Not a lot I can do about that.

Gosh, long post!! Will update myself on the list. Hope I've copied the latest one!

BOY
Ninjacat
ErikaMaye
WizzyWoo
Turtle
Broodzilla
Tamlin
Kaster37
Pavlovthecat
Scar lotti

GIRL
Netha (90%)
DeathByDora
Weston
Koumak (with healthy scepticism)
EasyEggs
Roomac
Wook
Trikken
ursigurke
Tabbykat (probably)
Sleeplessinthecity
Southernbelle77 (75%)
Chocotastic

SURPRISE!
BeckyBendyLegs
BeepBeep
Tigger32
Fruitpastels
Helips
Fairybex
lemontop
PootleTheFlump

Meant to say - we did NCT last time and it was my 2nd but DH's 1st. Whilst I knew most of the baby stuff, there was some new bits that were handy.
Best bit was meeting other mums. I'm still friends with them all now and DS is 4 this November. One of the other mums is pregnant again this time too.
I'm already trying to think of ways I can meet more mums due around similar times - I found it a godsend to have people to talk in depth with about baby stuff (regular friends soon get bored!) especially when their babies are around the same stage.

Erika having a baby is one of those times in your life when you usually make lots of new friends. I also recommend Surestart, your midwife will definately be able to point you in the right direction.

tigger we went camping in Suffolk. Ds is 2 next month so is still only little, I think he was a bit frightened when he woke in the night as it took ages to console him and get him back to sleep. We are meant to be camping overnight in 3 weeks time and I'm hoping he will be ok.

Hope you had a lovely holiday scarlotti

I also recommend the breastfeeding support groups. I struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning with ds as he had tongue tie and used to feel self concience (sp?) feeding in public. With the support from these groups and my NCT friends who breastfed I kept it up and really enjoyed it (In fact I only stopped a few months ago when ds was 20 months old! never thought I'd do it for that long!) Anyway, am hoping i find it easier this time round and looking forward to feeding this new little one.

Sorry Laugs I didn't mean to scare you. Best to be informed I felt as I hadn't really thought through the implications on maternity services

Wow, the last 24 hours seem to be the busiest this thread has ever seen!
Thanks for all your replies and positive birthstories. Both my sister and mum had rather easy births, so I really believe in some gene that makes women of our family perfect for pregnancy and birth
As tigger said, not everything might go according to plan, but I prefer being prepared and knowing my options. I've already told my husband to start learning birth vocabulary as I do not want to have to translate everything during labour. He definitely should read some books in English. (I had bought him a book for "expecting men" but it was really stupid, just making fun of pregnant women and their strange behaviour and that you should just accept it even if they are being silly. No facts, no explications,...)
And I am definitely more scared about medication and side effects than actual pain.(forgot who had mentioned that) But I am happy too that there is pain relief if I need it for some reason.
Laugs thanks for your comment about falling in love. That's exactly how I imagine it. (and to be honest, in this way I think this guy from the article is a bit right. Maybe I'm silly (sorry, I haven't had the birth experience yet), but I imagine the birth process with its pain really deepens the mother-child relationship.

tamlin, I was already thinking of freezing some food. That's what I always do before extremely busy weeks at work,.... I couldn't live without a freezer. (My mum always cooked the triple amount and froze it). And Idon't worry about the hovering. I'm very bad at cleaning so I guess that won't change that soon (probably when the baby starts moving) and my friends know that.

Definitely a good point in preparing for the time after birth not only for the birth itself, especially about the breastfeeding. That might be a bit difficult, and you really need someone quickly to help you not in a couple of weeks time. That's actually the only thing that worries me a little bit as I really want to leave the hospital as soon as possible.
So I have to find a support group.

I'm definitely going to do some NCT classes. I really need some other mums with the same kind of problems around me. Lemontop was it you who asked about a weekly class or a weekend crash course? Someone told me weekly classes are better to get to know people and I think that might be right. That's why I chose this option.
And about your wedding / hen night preparation: Barbecue and picknick sound both really lovely and very relaxed. As someone else said, just focus on the couple of things that are important for you and forget about the rest. My wedding was the best I have ever been too (well, not a surprise) and I think it was mainly because we were not very well prepared. (A British friend of us took the pictures and was a bit shocked as we answered all his questions about the day with "hmmm, we don't know, is that important?") If you don't have a detailed plan, it can't go wrong You will only need friends and family, a registrar, you and your fiancé of course and then enjoy the time with them.

Ok, this post got really too long now and I'm still sure that I forgot plenty of things but I just tried to answer all those posts since yesterday morning.

Well, I'm flying to Vienna tonight (where it seems to have about 34°C, and at night it doesn't cool reall cool down). I won't have much internet acces, so if you could be all so kind and not post anything until sunday evening...?
And welcome to funtimewincies! I hope you have lots of time for this thread.

Big HELLO to funtime! I'm so glad you've made the move! You can come and sit next to me til you get to know everyone.

lemontop oh dear... I agree with everyone else, delegate as much as you can. I'm sure you'll know a couple of people who love organizing stuff, give them whatever requires the most logistical juggling, and then there's always the select few (like close family) who you know will muck in when needed. (I must add, this is why we eloped... I suck at arranging this like that.)

sleepless how sweet to describe it as falling in love, with all the sleepless nights!

Hey ladies, hope everyone having a good day - welcome to Funtime!

Sooooo tired - have been looking after 5 kids today and have just collapsed on the sofa for the first time today. Need to recharge as we are off on a trip to the Rare Breeds centre tomorrow. Know they'll enjoy it but must admit I would rather be resting!

Also v nervous as I have to give some parents notice tomorrow - first time I've ever had to ask a child to leave. They know it's coming, because there's been so many incidents, but still feel dreadful. So guilty that I just can't help him any more but I have to think of the others I mind, and DD, who is getting the brunt of it. Could really do with some wine! Oh well, only a few more months to go!

Anyway, sorry for the whinging - hope everyone's feeling ok. Can't wait to hear all about the wedding lemontop - don;t get too stressed about it, it will be fab! Oh, and happy birthday Pavlov - glad you had a good day! xx

evening all,

work soo soo busy haven't had chance to catch up in ages and far too much info to read in one go! hope ye are all going well, i am off to sunny devon on sat for a week in a caravan...hope sun reappears...

next sale sat am...

slan D

Lemontop come to the Brixton one!! We are doing the weekly one, purely because I felt it was probably better value and you might get to know people a bit better. I think we are doing the Thursday night one, starting in the first week in Sep, but I will check.

Shiiiiiiit am so scared about my scan tomorrow. Feel like you were all so brave when you went for yours, and I am absolutely crapping myself!! It is tomorrow at 10.30... Also, how scary is that swine flu stuff?! V informative though. I am planning to go into hibernation over the summer holidays. Apparently there will be a vaccine which pregnant women can have from September so if we can all hang on 'til then, fingers crossed we will be ok...

Just going to catch up on the day's posts!

Wow, this thread moves quickly! Thanks for all the lovely welcomes and a quick 'hi' to Broodzilla (scuttles to the safety of someone familiar) .

I'll add myself on, the sonographer was a bit grumpy that we didn't want to know the sex...
BOY
Ninjacat
ErikaMaye
WizzyWoo
Turtle
Broodzilla
Tamlin
Kaster37
Pavlovthecat
Scar lotti

GIRL
Netha (90%)
DeathByDora
Weston
Koumak (with healthy scepticism)
EasyEggs
Roomac
Wook
Trikken
ursigurke
Tabbykat (probably)
Sleeplessinthecity
Southernbelle77 (75%)
Chocotastic

SURPRISE!
BeckyBendyLegs
BeepBeep
Tigger32
Fruitpastels
Helips
Fairybex
lemontop
PootleTheFlump
Funtimewincies

Katster - I was terrified!!! Think my DP thought I'd fallen asleep on the drive there as was the quietest he's ever seen me. Will be thinking of you.

Funtimewincies - What?? Its your choice if you find out. I think sometimes they just like to feel special because they can tell

Broodzilla - Thanks Yeah trying not to be too hard, am okay again today. Thing is I'm still medication free, and really wanted to do the whole thing without. There's a slight chance it could damage baby's heart and as much as its a tiny chance, I don't think I'm willing to talk the risk. But at the same time I don't want to get so low that I'm forced into taking my meds again because that would look terrible. So confusing!!!

Tabby - Poor you I hope you get a good nights sleep tonight. Try not to feel too bad about tomorrow, sometimes we all have to be the "bad guy" even though we're doing the right thing.

I had busy-bee day, and am so tired now - have things on for the rest of this week, too. Therapy and sorting my bus pass out tomorrow. Meeting with adult mental health teams Thursday. Midwife Friday morning, THEN helping a friend prepare for his gig in the afternoon. Then the gig itself on Saturday night. sobs

Feeling so desperate for a toffee crisp that I might be willing to walk the mile to the shops.

I think that she was just a grumpy sonographer in general Erika, although our family are a bit that we've not found out too. A lot of comments along the lines of 'well, we can understand why you didn't with the first because it didn't make a differece' and 'ooh I think I'd want to know second time around'. Erm, it doesn't make a difference this time either, especially given our mc history. Families eh ? Hope that all goes well on Thurs.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow Katster it's natural to feel nervous but just think, you'll get to see your gorgeous baby again, try to focus on that...

Families are infuriating generally - but then again, I think that's their job To be honest, I wanted to find out to make it a bit more real (Still not sure I am pregnant, despite the two scans, the constant kicking, and growing bump!) but it really is a personal choice... Just tell them you're ALMOST certain its a human baby, but you're keeping your fingers crossed just incase!!!

Either that, or take Kaz Cookes advice and tell them you're hoping for a giraffe.

Hi - had the scan in the morning, a lovely little girl was kicking around, being very active. Played peek-a-boo with us and wouldn't show her face to the sonographer to look at her top lip. Wow, a girl. Bit strange to call her a 'her' after so long...
Just happy everything is fine and she's healthy.

funtime - welcome, I'm also due on the 29th!

katster - chill, everything will be fine, will be thinking of you. It is so lovely to see them again, and you see so much more this time!

BOY
Ninjacat
ErikaMaye
WizzyWoo
Turtle
Broodzilla
Tamlin
Kaster37
Pavlovthecat
S car lotti

GIRL
Netha (90%)
DeathByDora
Weston
Koumak (with healthy scepticism)
EasyEggs
Roomac
Wook
Trikken
ursigurke
Tabbykat (probably)
Sleeplessinthecity
Southernbelle77 (75%)
Chocotastic
Skorpion

SURPRISE!
BeckyBendyLegs
BeepBeep
Tigger32
Fruitpastels
Helips
Fairybex
lemontop
PootleTheFlump
Funtimewincies

Sorry should have said welcome to funtime and congrats on your scan today We wouldn't have found out either, if it wasn 't for the sonographer who told us at the last one!
Thanks ladies for reassurance. HOpefully baby will be fine and wriggly. He certainly does a lot of wriggling at the minute, anyway which I have heard is a good sign but we will see.
Families can be strange can't they? Mine don't know we know (except my mum and dad who I am rubbish at keeping secrets from...) and they are CONSTANTLY making predictions based on the strangest things - eg I order tuna melt sandwich therefore I am having a boy. Hmm.

Evening everyone and huge hello to funtimewincies. Pavlov I'm so sorry to hear your sickness is bad. I suffered horribly with DD so I completely understand what you're going through. Just keep thinking of the morning when the beautiful bouncing baby has arrived and you aren't sick any more - bliss!

How much are NCT classes and has anyone been to both NCT and NHS for comparison? The ones I went to last time were rubbish. I felt completely let down by the lack of information (didn't realise how little I'd been prepared until things went wrong in delivery room and then afterwards, I was left with a baby that I didn't even know how to bath).

Has anyone else started to see their bump move when the baby kicks? I love relaxing in bed reading at the end of the day with my bump peeping out of my nightie so I can see it move in time with the baby.

I went back to work today for first time in 7 weeks. Feel like I've lost all confidence. I'm not doing my normal duties due to stress I've been under and also because of crutches so am working in head office with management. Very strange. Miss my own little office and the hustle and bustle of a busy hospital but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I had counselling this morning re needle phobia and found it utterly exhausting. Went to work straight afterwards and although I did just under 4 hours, I was completely wiped out.

Saying that, DD didn't help last night. She woke up at 12.45am screaming her head off. Made the mistake of getting her out of bed since she seemed unusually distressed and no matter what I did, she wouldn't go back to bed. Even when she fell asleep and I tried to put her back in her cot, she'd wake up screaming and clutching me. Ended up in spare room with her and hardly slept a wink since she's such a restless sleeper. Now very uncertain about plan of putting her into a bed rather than a cot in case a night like last night becomes a regular occurrence. Any advice anyone?

Also, was just wondering when everyone's thinking of finishing for maternity leave? I need to tell my manager officially by end of next week when I'll be going off but not sure how late to leave it...

One day, I promise I'll post a one-liner. I'm such a chatterbox!

Okay, so I know I posted a huge message earlier but my left boob just leaked and my DH was no support (sorry, TMI ).

His exact words when I frantically told him of my trauma were "Thanks for telling me. I don't really know what to do with that"!!! Really am off to bed now (unless it carries on leaking and we're flooded out).