Due November 2009 - second trimester thread part 2

[skorpion]

Hope this works

Alas - sickness has returned, new medication, not working but also with horrid side effects, came home from work and off to see locum gp this evening

There are several cases of swine flu at work - we have restricted movement between offices as ours is the only one with cases. Also we see clients and they might have been in contact too, nothing specific stated regarding pregnant women in the email directives, other than to take 'extra care around high risk people including pregnant women and those with underlying issues' as to what that means, who knows. I am going to mention it to the gp this evening. Anyone else had cases at work? What advice were you given, if any by either gp or employer?

Lemontop NCT is a good way of making friends and having babies the same age as your bubba. I still keep in touch with my lot..and compare notes and ask advice. DH found the class very helpful.

As for birth..every one of them is diff..I agree with Tamlin. Get the house looked after and the food cooked. You need to look after you and your baby. If you're well then you'll be dandy soon. If you have stitches it may take longer. You will be exhausted and its a rough time but you have a magic little baby who makes it all better. There is no right way of doing anything so don't beat yourself about it. You'll have the blues to deal with anyway so relax as much as you can. If anyone thinks that getting a baby out of you is easy then you'll be dreaming. It's hard but its what we've been programmed to do. I hope all of us have great experiences and healthy happy babies. If you have questions mumsnet is a wealth of info and ask your other friends. thats what I did when I had no idea what to do with DD on day 3!!!

Anyway hope you're all well....have been absent for a while but its a long story...

PS.. I plan to brush my nipples with a brush beforehand...it gets them used to the abuse..oh and lansinoh too

Hello all!

Hope everyone is having a good day

Ursigurke Sorry your friends have given you such a negative view of child birth and the early days.

I can honestly say that the whole experience I had with Ds1 was lovely, yes it was painful but you already know to expect that. Ds2's birth was not as planned but he arrived healthy. I used a tens machine and then a birthing pool, both of which helped, however there are loads of other types of pain relief around all of which are there to be used.
The best advice I can give re a birth plan is be open with with it!
Don't expect to get it exactly as you want, at the end of day whether you have a home water birth or an emergency c section you have still given birth to your baby and you are the one that has created him/her (ok with a bit of help from dh/dp ). That is something to be very proud of!

As for afterwards, none of your visitors are really going to be bothered if you hoovered up or not, as long as the basics are clean (kitchen sink/sides and loo) it won't hurt to leave it for a few days until you have a little energy or willing helper.

Just been to gp re side effects of drugs and continued vomitting. This is what he said

• side effects normal and ok. Discussed need to increase dose to max for it to be effective as long as I can cope with the side effects.

• the sickness is not likely to disappear anytime soon. If it was going to pass, would have passed by now, so I need to get used to that fact that it will stay, that I will need medication throughout the pregnancy, unlikely to come off it now

• he will recommend to my gp (this was a locum) that I ave regular blood tests. I had one 4 weeks ago and he has recommended this continue throughout the pg, or while I am being sick for two reasons 1) there is a rare pg condition which can affect the liver adversely. While it is rare and my last blood test was fine, and while there is no reason to suspect a problem now 1,10000 risk) he wants it on screen that there is nothing wrong. 2) even if I am not dehydrated there is still a risk of salt and protein deficiency which causes tiredness, dizziness, etc and can have serious long term effects. While I am being sick this needs to be monitored with blood tests as risk is increased the longer sickness occurs.

• swine flu - medical profession is no longer attemptint go contain. It is not possible so they are no longer recommending no contact, but to limit it where possible. He said most people will get it at some point, and that a couple of thousand people are likely to die, but that it is on the same level as normal seasonal flu, just out of season, rather than the higher levels they originally feared. He said that when it was first heard about in mexico, the death rate was 10% which was significant, and this has dropped to around 0.4-0.5%, probably because the deadly strain of it mutated to a less deadly strain in humans. He said the reason gov't attempted to contain it to start with was in order to allow anti-viral drugs to be shipped in, and vaccines in place, and for orgs to put measures in place, rather than with the belief they could contain it for good, that was never going to happen.

swine flu and pg - no longer an issue any more than normal flu is now. pg women would be in higher risk category and eligible for flu vaccine in the winter for other flu, and as such we continue to stay in the high risk bracket for swine flu and will likely be eligible for first wave of vaccines due in August, but the risks are the same with this as they are with other flu.

So, all in all, quite a matter of fact, fatalistic appt which left me surprisingly reassured!

Pavlov, brilliant, thanks for the swine flu information. I have been wondering about that a bit (although I'm mostly frightened of the newborn getting it in November...)

I'm sorry the hg isn't letting up, but glad that they are keeping a close eye on you. I had an extra scan with my hg last time around to check that DS was ok even with all the vomiting, and he was fine - tech said that babies are 'perfect parasites'.

Tamlin no problem. This is only this particular GPs view, I am sure there will be other views floating around like with everything!

Yes, perfect parasite indeed! I am having another scan at 28 wks anyway, so will find out if all is ok. He is certainly kicking me and doing somersaults a lot so not much wrong with him right now! Its just me who suffers. Its like some kind of torture.

Hello everyone!

I've not been on for a while. Lot's of news to catch up on. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Welcome to all the newbies

I've also been told some very negative and traumatic birth stories lately. I remember being told a few when I was PG with DS. First time around I was scared enough of birth without hearing bad experiences that other women have had. I had a very quick first birth (under 6hrs). Never had a birth plan as I had no idea what to expect and felt it was better for me to keep an open mind. Ended up having an epidual, the gas and air didn't agree with me. I had loads of energy for about a week after the birth, lots of happy hormones raging! The feeding didn't go to plan as DS would not BF, but I will be trying again with this bubba. My house was very tidy as my DS was a good sleeper and I would be able to potter around and do housework. I know it will feel different 2nd time around as I have pre-school run to do, keep my 4 yr old entertained and run the house. Cross that bridge when it comes! My DH has 2 weeks paternity leave, which I thought was very good - how long do your DH's & DP's have off?

I'm dreading trying to keep my DS busy during the summer holiday. I find walking around the park and standing on my feet too long very tiring, and I'm always needing a wee! It will be a long 7 weeks..

My sweet tooth has kicked in. I'm always thinking of food! Finding a big evening meal very daunting, and most meats make me feel sick.

No heartburn here - yet.. Had it bad with DS near the end, he was born with loads of hair. I've read that you should try not to eat too late in the evening as this can make it worse. Thank goodness we can take gaviscon.

Going to go back and read some more posts - my goodness we can all talk!

Hi everyone,

Lemontop are you based in S London? Or have I just made that up? I have just signed up for NCT classes in Brixton, not that near us but really want to go as feel like I don't know anyone in this part of London. That is the main reason I am going to be honest!

Erika not sure if this is helpful or not, but DH's mum has bad ME too, and was particularly bad when she had her daughter 15 years ago. I remember her telling me that she honestly did not know how her body would cope with it as she was so, so weak. Anyway, she said it was like her body 'knew' and just took over - she had a totally natural birth, and honestly said it was pleasant. I know this is not the norm, but just thought I would share it with you, as she really did not know how she could go through with it. Also it was her first vaginal delivery.

Pav we have had children with swine flu, our work (the council) say guidelines are now no different for pregnant women to the rest of the population Am just coating myself in that hand gel stuff, not that I expect it makes much difference. Also - re the cabbage, what do you soak it in? Just cold water? I am so scared of breast feeding. It honestly sounds horrific.

Katster - I personally found breastfeeding just the best. It took a little practise, and when DD got it, and when I got it, it was an amazing feeling. my nipples cracked a little, but nothing serious, the Lansinoh helped lots. Yes just soak the cabbage for a few minutes, and then place on breasts for a while, really eases them, and after a short while they will ease for good, once they are used to the milk.

I've also signed up for NCT. Found the NHS classes were terrible when I was pg with ds. I'm attending in the hope to make some new friends.

Also, the savoy cabbage idea worked really well for me as my breasts were very engorged as ds just wouldn't feed. I'm going to be seeking and reading as much advice as I can this time around. I found there was so much pressure on me to do well with the breastfeeding and made to feel like an alien when I told my health visitor that my ds was being bottle fed. Each to their own I say!

Breastfeeding is odd in that it takes a lot of work at the start so you can be hugely lazy later on. Can't imagine getting up in the night and mixing and warming bottles for a nightfeed while the baby wakes up properly and howls, tbh - it's a lot easier to just pop them on while half-asleep, nurse them, and stick them back in bed.

The trouble is that the health professionals bang on and on about Breastfeeding Being Best for Baby, and then give you very little real advice or support in those first crucial days. This is why I think that attending NCT classes on nursing, getting phone numbers for La Leche League people or finding out if your hospital has a lactation consultant in advance is a good idea. I got very lucky - my mother used to be a La Leche leader, and she was staying with us at 4 am when I was desperately trying to remember the rushed tutorial I got from an overworked midwife the day of the birth...

Thanks Katster. My MW has another girl under her care (Think she's 16?) who's a bit further along than me who also has ME, though slightly less severe, so am thinking about asking MW to put us in contact. Its nice to hear that its possible though. I'm very frightened.

I'd rather have a vaginal birth if I can, simply because the idea of sugery really scares me, but today I've been thinking very much about CS. I won't repeat myself, but my thoughts have been kinda obsessed. DP has made it very clear that while he'd still be there holding my hand if I had surgery, he hates the idea of witnessing it, which I completely get.

Thing is, at my first appointment with my MW she mentioned that it might be best if I had a CS because of my ME. I really don't know.

Had an argument with DP over Denis Walsh. How rediculous is that? sighs

I was lucky too, in that I was in hospital for 7 days post birth (DD not unwell at all, just small) and I therefore had several midwives who helped me every step of the way. I was a master of breastfeeding by the time I left courtesy of the button which I pressed everytime I could not get DD to latch on!!! and it helped that different midwives had different techniques, and I found the ones that worked best for me by trying all the different ways. So, definitely better if you have some practical support available in some manner, even if by telephone.

Hi all,

fruitpastels sorry you felt like that about breastfeeding. My HV was really surprised I was - I live in quite a poor area and apparently almost noone around here does. She pretty much left me to it though, I'd have liked some more help. katster I did find it painful to start with. I wish I'd known that's normal, but grew to love it and for me it definitely helped with bonding.

Speaking of bonding, raggie I've just started feeling proper kicks/ movements too. Hooray! I definitely feel closer to the baby now. It really makes me happy.

I'm debating the whole NCT thing too. I don't want to go and be the only 2nd timer, (would I be?), but I do like the idea of meeting more people. I've just found out that my closest mummy friend is moving away, which has made me really sad and realise that I need to get over my shyness and talk to people more. I do take DD to various groups and I am always friendly to people, but I find it hard to move on from chitchat to becoming proper friends. Then again, our NCT group is not nearby, and we'd need to find babysitters for every session.

ursi I think your friends were just trying to prepare you. I remember when DD was born, I realised I'd spent the past 9 months preparing for the labour and not the baby (I was a bit obsessed with labour though). I'd read about 3 pregnancy books and not one baby book. It seems so obvious now! Personally, I found the first 3 months the most exhausting and the most wonderful time of my life. It was like that dream-like state when you fall in love (well, it is falling in love) - even more so because you are up at all hours of the night and kind of exist in this bubble, just you and DD(S). I know there were horrible Just Let Me Sleep moments, but honestly all I have are happy memories.

pavlov sorry you're so sick again! You must be really fed up. Do you think you can manage to up the dosage and deal with the side effects? Thanks for the info on swine flu. I am becoming a bit obsessed with it actually, which is quite stupid as I didn't even know the normal flu was risky for pregnant women and didn't get the jab last time round (don't remember being offered it though). I hope the papers will stop reporting every death. I've started trying to avoid the news. tamlin I'm hoping by the time our babies come along we'll either have had the jab or had the flu (jab, please!) and can pass on immunity through our breastmilk?

Pavlov thanks for the info on swine flu. I am terrified I must admit. My boss thinks two of her children have it as their school has had a couple of suspected cases. It hasn't hit us here yet though... I'm sure September will be the time. I've never had flu so really don't know what to expect. My mum had the big flu that happened in the late 1950s and said it was pretty grim.

Katster try not to worry about breastfeeding. Some people manage it so effortlessly and others struggle at first but then find it the best thing ever. I admit I'm in the struggling camp and had lots of problems for various reasons but I don't think I got enough support and I got conflicting advice. Also both my mum and MIL bottle-fed (as most people in the 1970s seemed to) and they really didn't know how to handle my determination to try as hard as I could. It is hard at first but it is such a wonderful feeling too.

Laugs I was the same with DS1: I prepared myself very well for the birth watching Discovery Health all day during my first two weeks of maternity leave before he was born but did NOTHING AT ALL to prepare myself for afterwards!

Please can I balance out the 'bad labour stories'? I had an okish labour with DS1 - the bad bit was the tearing and stitching afterwards but had a wondeful 'dream' labour with DS2. It isn't all bad. People do tend to tell you the bad stories and not the good ones.

I've been so busy today. Holidays are great but the fall out after stinks!

DH is making me eat the rest of the brocolli and cauliflower today. Baaaa humbug.

Hi everyone,

wow, it's taken me ages to read all the posts so apologies if I forget anything!

pavlov happy birthday for yesterday, glad you got to celebrate it how you wanted.

Erika I think it's a really good idea to ask your midwife to put you in touch with the other pregnant girl a similar age to you. It really helps to be able to talk to someone in the same boat as you and when you have your babies hopefully you will keep in touch and be able to go to mother and toddler groups together.

I really wanted a natural birth with ds but after 38 hours ended up having an em cs as he was back to back. However, it really wasn't that bad, you do just kinda go with it and if anything I was just bored with being in labour! Managed 28 hours at home with just gas and air and only went into hospital to have an epidural so I could get some kip! Couldn't believe it when doctors mentioned cs, I was like no way, I'm meant to be having a home birth, but ds had other ideas! Anyway ladies, what I'm trying to say is that whatever happens you will all be fine and will end up with gorgeous babies and feel so proud of yourselves. It really is amazing.

Also, agree with whoever said about breastfeeding being hard to begin with but it does get easier. Lansinoh is a must as is the mumsnet breastfeeding advice area.

Well, I survived camping this weekend, just! ds was a nightmare and wouldn't go to sleep, then woke up as we were going to bed and cried for over an hour. Finally got to sleep and then he woke up at the crack of dawn, hideous! I just don't know how people can say they enjoy camping!

Right, that was rather a long winded post, I will go now!

Sorry, I know that it's a bit late in the day, but is there room for a little one?

I'm due November the 29th and had my 20 week scan today. I've a history of mc but now feel confident enough about this pg to brave the world of antenatal groups .

funtimewincies welcome, of course there is room! As long as you do not talk about the following:

*A DH who buys you several pairs of gorgeous shoes
*Isabella Oliver sales.
*ginger (my own personal one)!!!

There are more, can't think of them, someone will add to it I am sure!

Laugs I'm attending 'refresher classes' with NCT. Found the info on their website. Hope that helps.

Heya funtimewincies, welcome! We don't bite - much.

Well my good spree turned sour (Didn't I say it would?!?) and had a physcotic episode. Brilliant. Just perfect. Got bad enough that I was screaming that my brother was trying to poision me. sighs Looks like Saturday nights blip wasn't a one off after all. Might be time to remedicate... I was doing so well!!! Guess the third trimester isn't going to be quite so easy as the first two. Think my brain must have just gone into over drive with stress (Money, CS, disability...) and then blanked. Feeling rather numb now.

Hope you're all having a pleasent evening.

About the NCT - I was speaking to a friend of my mums who is pregnant, and she went to like one session or something then left, because she felt it was very old-fashioned, and they frowned on things such a bottle feeding / disposable nappies etc. Was this just her experience? Because I don't really want to go to somewhere that's old-fashioned as my age is bound to be frowned on if they dislike the above... Just wondering what other people who have used it before have found?

Some Swine Flu info for you. makes interesting reading especially the bit on how maternity services might be affected ie phone check ups with mid wife instead of face to face, doing own urine checks and blood pressure etc.www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/information/view-117#pregnancy

Welcome newbies.

May I add no talk of christmas to the list?

Welcome funtimewincies and congrats on your healthy scan!

erika I didn't find NCT old fashioned (although maybe that's because I am old!) It was a great way to meet other mums and we all keep in touch now, in fact I was camping with two of them this weekend! Are there any groups for young mums that you could go to? Sorry to hear about your episode, hope you are feeling better now.

Thanks for the swine flu info ninjacat

A case of swine flu has been confirmed at my brothers school. Things keep getting better!

Thanks Helips The only young mums group that I know of so far is about an hour away, which is fine during the holidays, as mum has said she'll take me, but that's kinda far away, and would be difficult to meet up with people outside of it, and thats one of the reasons I want to get involved with something. I get very lonely, and would love to make new friends, especially those who understand what is going on with me! I'm going to have a word with my MW when she comes round, I think her groups are a little closer.

I'm so so tired... Is anyone else having difficulties getting comfortable to sleep? The only position I've found I can sleep in means I have killer back ache in the morning.