Due November 2009 - second trimester thread part 2

[skorpion]

Hope this works

Urisgurke if the first few months were that 'bad' then no-one would come back for more (speaking as someone on their third 'go' at the baby thing).

Pavlov glad your party went well!

I'm having a real 90s indie moment at the moment: subjecting the DSs to happy mondays, Stereo MCs, EMF, etc. Not sure what they think. It must be like my parents making me listen to the Beatles and Elvis when I was younger.

Heartburn has been a bit better today - thank goodness.

Foucault yes I did see the piece in the Observer- thought it was interesting how it was a MAN who thought women should endure the pain as a rite of passage, and a WOMAN who said 'what a load of rubbish'.

Usigurke I am sorry that you had such negative things said to you last night - it drives me mad how people see a pregnant woman, and then bombard them with horror stories. It actually makes me angry and seems to be happening to me non-stop - they come thick and fast and uninvited and it just isn't fair. SO annoying. As BBL says, why do most people have more than one child if it is that horrific? Would they send their child back? I doubt it.

Just had lovely afternoon sleep after busy day yesterday and busy morning with in-laws. Counting the days til my scan is over....

PS Happy birthday PAV and glad you are having a chilled out day!! PS You HAVE to tell me where the pasteurised camembert is from!!

Thanks to all of you "repeater" for sharing your experience with me! I am actually quite confident (eventhough I think I should read some books and do some antenatal classes to know at least what stuff I have to buy - otherwise I would start the whole adventure without nappies ) and don't see why it should be sooo difficult. The first few months they are sleeping all the time anyway and don't see why I should be unable to leave the house for I don't know how many weeks.
What actually annoyed me about that couple was the way they told me about their own experience. (And the woman was apparently not really prepared, she didn't even know that you would be bleeding for quite a while after the birth). So they didn't say things like "in my case, it was like this..." it was more like "birth is really painful, luckily there is epidural, then you will tear and need to be sewed, you will bleed for 2 weeks and it will be terrible for the first 6 month and you will need someone to do the shopping and cooking...". Just it has been like that in one case doesn't mean it has to be like that in my case.
Well, enough of ranting, it just annoyed me that I didn't know how to stop them, luckily it didn't make me insecure.

Pavlov, and happy birthday to you! Glad to hear that you can really enjoy the lazy day you wanted

I'm in a grump. DH did the shopping this week and as a result I'm having to eat brocolli and cauliflower with my tea tonight. Oh hell. I don't like brocolli and I hate cauliflower.

Katster your comment about sending babies back made me laugh. I once joked with DS2 when he was being naughty that I'd send him back to Chipping Norton in a box (where he was born) and he thought this was very funny and now I am convinced he thinks he'd better be good or I really will take him to the post office in a big cardboard box with 'Chipping Norton Maternity Hospital' written on the top and 'return to sender' or something.

katster the camembert is Coeur De Lion, it is the one in the wooden box you can get from Sainsbury's. It states that is pasteurised and it is being sold for £1.00 atm according to DH .

I have alas been violently sick this evening , but that did not stop me eating a ton of it on french bread, my theory being if it comes up then at least I got to enjoy it!!

Pavlov - sorry you have been unwell and on your bday! at least you got to enjoy yummy food on the way down!

BBL although it will be no consolation to you, I love broccoli & cauliflower with hummous but keep forgetting to buy it!

Usigurke - grrr to horror birth stories. I try put fingers in my ear and go 'la la la' when I hear them!

Turtle - love those roller babies! , thanks for sharing.

Thanks Pav - that is my favourite camembert as well! I used to go through a box a week! Yum!

Lemontop are all your wedding preparations ready? Sounds so exciting, I love weddings! Are you going on a honeymoon? Can't wait to hear all about it.

5 days of school left for me, then holidays - I CAN'T WAIT!!! (sorry to non-teachers... I am not trying to be smug, honest!)

Evening All

EricaMaye thanks for the support, getting used to the crutches now and there is a positive coming out of them - DD is getting less clingy since I can't really pick her up at the moment whereas before, she seemed to think she should be sitting on my hip at every waking moment... Sorry to hear you had a bad episode. Hope it wasn't too frightening for you.

Pavlov Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to yoooou, happy birthday to you!

Pinkfizzle I am so glad you broached the wind issue. I am struggling with burping throughout the day and trapped wind the other end (sorry, tmi) I'm actually worried about going back to work on Tuesday as I'll have to try and suppress the gas!!

Haven't had too much heartburn yet, although I have got it mildly tonight and hope it doesn't get much worse. Sorry to hear others are suffering with it. Apparently babies born with lots of hair cause heartburn?? We'll have to compare notes afterwards...

Lemontop When are you getting married? Will you have a bump still or be enjoying looking down and seeing your toes again by then?

Have been very hormonal today. Was sick yet again this morning while brushing my teeth. Have visions of teeth all rotting away since I've been struggling to brush them for the last few months... Had a strop in Mothercare because I wanted to ask someone about a what age a pram went up to and as usual in my nearest store, there were only a couple of staff on despite it being busy, then DD threw a tantrum so left in a huff. Cried at the new Norwich Union advert tonight, where a rather shell-shocked man is looking after a tiny baby girl while partner rests in hospital bed, presumably after just giving birth. Poor DH doesn't know whether to hug me or run and hide at the moment, bless him!

pavlov happy birthday (bit late sorry1) we've got guitar hero and I love it. might stick it on later today.

ursigurke I'm sick of people telling me their annoying birth stories too. I guess people will keep giving us this not so helpful advice from now on. I've had it from all sides. My DPs single brother even told me not to have an epidural. Hmm I'll make that decision, thanks!

Wedding plans are going ok but I'm starting to get a bit stressed with awol photographer, flower dilemma etc. It's on 1st August in a register office and then for reception we've hired our local pub and are having a big bbq instead of a formal sit down meal. We got our rings on Sat. I've got a lovely maternity wedding dress from Tiffany Rose. Just hope I don't look ridiculous! We go on honeymoon to Cyprus the day after so it's all go at the moment.

Does anyone else find they wake up starving? I'd love a lie in but I find I'm so hungry I have to get up. My baby seems to wake up in the evening and start dancing and wake me up n the morning to gte some food. Maybe a sign of what's to come?!

Sorry for mammoth post.

Morning!

Pavlov - happy b'day, I'm glad you got to enjoy a nice time. Sorry to hear you had another sickness episode, let's hope it's just that, a one-off.

ursigurke - what a sorry couple, what about telling you about all the lovely things of having a baby? Glad to see they haven't shaken your confidence. I think I'm a bit like you - even though it is my first I think that it will be alright. Millions of women coping, millions of happy babies. I'm not worried about the birth, more perhaps about what sort of a parent I will be coping with modern age demands and traps... But that's a whole new story.

Welcome to newbies!

My big news is that the sprout started to move around! It was so funny, I read comments about butterflies, bubbles, flutterings - for me it is just like there is something inside me, moving about. Keeps poking the same place in my tummy every night. It sort of helps with the bonding, I think. I'll see it tomorrow morning and we'll finally know the flavour. Can't wait!

Foucault - very interesting article, agree with katster that it's sometimes strange how men think they think better.
I believe, like with so much, it is up to the woman to make an educated choice, the staff are there to provide the options. I have to say that personally I am hoping for as little intervention as possible during labour, but am not about to judge anybody that's got different preferences.

Foucault - very interesting article, agree with katster that it's sometimes strange how men think they think better.
I believe, like with so much, it is up to the woman to make an educated choice, the staff are there to provide the options. I have to say that personally I am hoping for as little intervention as possible during labour, but am not about to judge anybody that's got different preferences.

Oops, gremlins in the machine, posting things twice.

Happy Monday!

Wizzy and Wook oh yes, the hormonal crying... I am soppy at the best of (un-pregnant) times, but I've just gone completely OTT now. I cry at adverts, but also at nothing much at all, just randomly burst into tears.

lemontop How exciting about the wedding! I think a bbq is cool, it's all about the people and the atmosphere anyway - we went to a couple of weddings within the space of a week where one was a bbq in the couple's garden (and it was amazing, lovely and happy) and the other a v. posh 4 course dinner in a "book years in advance" location (it was really stuffy and formal and in the end the bride's dad was publicly insulting the groom...)

ursi Whatever happened to "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"?! Some people just don't know when their opinions aren't welcome... Here's to hoping you have a fabulous time with a super-easy baby and then when you meet up with them as a new mum you can be all "oh, I don't know what all the fuss is about!"

pavlov glad to hear you had a good party and that you aced the guitar hero, but sorry you're feeling poorly again. Hope it passes soon, we need to be enjoying this trimester! [smile}

foucault and katster I read the article too, and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Aside from that katster said, who is a man to tell women how to birth anyway... while I have no personal experience my understanding is that so much depends on the individual circumstances such as if the baby is facing front or back - front facing progress slower and are far more painful. So I really don't see why there is a need to be so competitive about it all. (Having said that, my SIL did just give birth all naturally, and I just KNOW that will be remembered come November.) TBH I'm quite freaked out by the thought of an epidural, and I know from experience that I don't react well to morphine derivatives like pethidine, so I'm really, really hoping that I can cope without them. I'm more scared of the side effects of drugs than I am of pain (then again, I'm sure I've never known pain like it...)

Sorry about the marathon post!!!

My nesting has gone into overdrive, spent hours and hours on the weekend cleaning and re-arranging the kitchen cupboards (even cleaned on top of them...) and this morning I was up at 7AM scrubbing the oven. I wonder if it's time to check myself into some treatment centre...

Broodzilla - Not a treatment centre - you're welcome to check in to mine for a while

DUH! For the umpteenth time, I've forgotten to say WELCOME TO THE NEWBIES!

Also, am officially 24 weeks today, so the bean is finally considered viable. (I'd prefer him to carry on baking for a while though...)

Hello hello! Especial hello to mobar and Foucault (loving your name there btw!)

I am off sick today with a stinking cold, urgh....NOT swine flu I might add, phew! No temp or anything just runny/blocked nose and the usual rest of horrid symptoms and not allowed any medicine so feeling worse

I am excited because I felt my first real, definite proper KICKS today - have had wriggles and wiggles up til now but this time could actually see little something pushing out ! I know I am due end of month so waaaayy behind most of you, but I am excited!

Congrats on more good scan news, 5 days til mine now

Ursigurke, they did have some good advice - if you can stock up on frozen dinners and get someone else to hoover your house for the first few weeks, it'll make things a lot easier on you! Then all you have to worry about is cuddling your newborn, and getting the hang of nursing (if you want to). We're actually thinking of getting someone in to deep-clean once a week for the first six weeks just so we don't have to worry about it. There is a lot to be said for the hippy concept of the 'babymoon' where you just take care of yourself and the tiny and let everything else go for a bit.

Personally, I am a bit torn on the whole horror story thing - post DS, I honestly felt as if both the NHS and NCT very much glossed over just how physically rough childbirth can be. I really thought I'd be up and about pretty speedily (and had vague ideas about heading back into the gym within a few weeks), and then I got knocked for six when my expectations proved so wildly out of kilter. I remember saying to DH 'I feel like I've been hit by a truck. In the vagina.' Somehow, I don't remember the nice birthing instructor ladies really mentioning that! Perhaps the best idea is to plan and prepare as if you won't be up to much physically for the first six weeks (especially if you wind up being in the third of women who have a c-section), and then, if you DO feel like lifting heavy weights, racing about or running the odd marathon, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Broodzilla, if you don't want to be offered an epidural, stick it in your birth plan; if you're likely to have a bad reaction to pethidine, stick that in too. You can always change your mind when you're in there.

The one thing I wish I'd done more preparation for before giving birth was breastfeeding. It wasn't great trying to read up on oversupply and latch techniques while hugely sleep-deprived with engorged breasts, and I just remember thinking 'Why didn't I find out all this stuff BEFORE instead of endless bollocks about natural labour?!' Once the baby's out, all those months reading about pregnancy and labour seem entirely irrelevant.

Broodzilla - reaction to the drugs is one of my concerns as well. Because of my ME I'm more suseptable to anesthetics, and that's really scary to me. But also because of it, they don't know if I'll be able to physically manage a natural birth. Very confussing. Need to talk to the MW and also to my specialist, then maybe book an appointment with an aneathatist to discuss it all with them.

I think I have two biggest fears - firstly, something going majorly wrong and just not waking back up (sorry ladies...) and secondly, having to have an emergancy CS so I don't have time to think about it, prepare for it, or have an epidural. That is terrifying, and for that reason I'm thinking about having an elective. Hmm...

Happy birthday Pav, sorry its late!!! Hope you had a good day aside from the sickness.

Lemontop - Yup, same here! I wake up, then have to dash to the bathroom, then straight to the kitchen to eat. I'd much rather be lounging in bed for several hours, or even for a few minutes!! Also - personally, I think your wedding plans sound damn near perfect The idea of a burger with tomato sauce and onions right now... Have one on me!!! I'm sure you'll look stunning

Raggie - Yey for feeling the kicks!!!!

22 weeks today - 18 weeks left till EDD. Not long enough!!! Very scary!!!

The extra weight and tiredness is really starting to affect my ME and I'm getting quite frustrated with myself. Think I'll have to get my wheelchair out on a regular basis from now on

Hope you're all feeling good today - I'm really hoping that my up mood will continue this week My Aunt died yesterday morning but trying not to think about it too much.

Wanted to add - this is a good website for finding out the maternity stats of your local hospital (how many caesarians, inductions they perform, etc). If your hospital deals with a lot of high-risk pregnancies (twins etc) then their figures may be higher than the national average, but otherwise, it gives you some idea of what you're in for. Of my two local hospitals, Salisbury has a low c-section rate and a high instrumental rate (suggesting that they reach for the forceps or ventouse before the scalpel) while Swindon has the reverse - a section rate of 24% and a below-average instrumental.

www.birthchoiceuk.com

Thanks Tamlin

Would anyone else like to string Dr Denis Walsh up? I'm totally astounded, and rather quite angry. Although some of that is at my DP, as he reckons: "You're just being pissy because its a man thats said this." Ohhh bad move, darling...

tamlin I think you have a really good point about reading up about important stuff like breastfeeding techniques etc. I've been given tonnes of books on giving birth but nothing on parenting and how to actually look after a baby! If anyone can recommend anything they found useful I'd be very grateful. Probably easier to read now than while trying to hold/feed a newborn baby

I can't decide if I want to go to NCT classes. There aren't any classes close to where we live so I'm not sure they'd be useful from building a support network perspective. Think DP would like to go. Hmmm

For a positive birth story..I was birthing partner for my best mate when we were 21. She gave birth in a midwife led birth centre in a double bed while we watched jerry springer on TV! the midwives kept popping their heads in and saying we were too relaxed!! Up until recently I thought all births were like this. I am now aware that many are not (thanks mumsnet! .

'What to Expect: The First Year' was a book I found quite useful. Just stop after that, as I found 'What to Expect: Toddler Years' pants and full of moralising rather than any practical information.

Two top tips of my own for breastfeeding (well not mine, lost of people recommend it but it does work) - Buy Lansinoh cream and use it immediately after a feeding to help relieve dry or cracked nipples. And keep savoy cabbage in the fridge and if you get hot and sore /engorged breasts, place a couple of leaves soaked for few minutes to relieve them, it works an absolute treat.