Heeereee comes June, its the home streeeeetch!

[Tee2072]

Here ya go, new thread! We're almost there!!!!!

Naat I think age has nothing to do with it - and while we plan all the fun things it only makes sense to plan for every eventuality!

Waht did your parents do?

And that's why you need a will, sweetbroody!!

They made me feel stupid/crazy/unreasonable/slightly irresponsible for moving so close to my due date.

They kept telling me things like "don't you think it might be risky to do that?/that the baby may come early?" etc etc etc... As if we hadn't thought about ALL that already... NOw we're the worst parents-to-be...

Many people have to move near the delivery of their babies

Mind you, I haven't told ANYONE back home specifically because of this... but I had to tell my parents (who live in Ecuador) because they're coming for the birth and we were discussing their flight dates... When I told them I needed them to come around the 10th, not before, hell broke loose And just in case you're thinking about it, no, it would't be of any help to have them here for the move... believe me hahaha

Yep, completely agree Sweet, age doesn't matter, it just makes sense.

naat almost 10 years ago my Brother and SIL moved into their first house on 18th March. On 18th April? Their first daughter was born!

My SIL still says a big thank you to the universe everyday that she moved with babe in belly and not in arms!

So you are not the worst parents to be. In fact, you're some of the best, moving to a place where your baby can be safe and happy.

Sweetbroody What's your own family like and do you have siblings or cousins with whom you get on better than in-laws, or are your parents young and fit enough to be guardians? I'd be much more worried about someone I don't like looking after my DC than I would be worried that thinking about me and DH dying at the same time would make it happen! That's superstitious and bonkers! If you and DH can agree on who you'd want to be legal guardians there's no need to even talk about it to your in-laws.

Tee hope the GP comes up with some good ways forward. Pregnancy and prospective motherhood is such a huge mental and emotional ride that it's bound to affect any pre-existing psychological factors, but that certainly needn't translate directly into PND. Good to look out for it though - your self-awareness can only help.

Muminmiddleeast yikes, that's a big baby! Although I have a friend who is 5'2" and plopped out an 11.5 and a 12.5 baby! No GD or any other factors, just giant babies who are now perfectly normal sized DC - a bit small, in fact! Hope you get some good info which helps you make the decision but so much of it is guesswork isn't it? I think that if the medics wanted to get my baby out early I'd rather have a CS than an induction though - inductions scare me!

Naat people do far worse before baby is due and if you think of the circumstnaces some kids are born in in the third world we're lucky to have have homes full stop! If you see what I mean.. At the end of the day your doing the best you possibly can.

Tee he is so cheeky though - he goes "is there money I dont know about - is that what your worried about! I was like you kidding right!

ermintrude13 there def are people i'd much rather look after the baby if anything were to happen. The thing is I'm not sure how to approach it. Do i tell the person I choose as guardian or do they find out in the event that something happens to both of us!

And then theres all the family politics.. My own parents would do it if they had to but as you all know dads just had a bypass and is poorly. I wouldnt want to stress them out with all this.

I just hate that he made me feel pathetic when these are genuine concerns of mine. He is a PITA anyway... and is always asking for money from us. He wanted us to move in with him and he was going to charge us A grand a month. And now he has some clients living with him for free... I hate my In laws and their double standards!

They sound awful sweetbroody. I think I would tell him 'yes, we have million buried in the garden. Here's a shovel, go look for it.' Then you can plant some flowers or veg when he's done!

And I think you ask the people you want to do it, not just spring it on them if something happens. DH and I are probably going to ask his sister and her husband and then my brother and his wife. I would do it the other way, but his sister lives in London and my brother lives in California!

Tee thanks for your sweet words

Sweet Yep, we're doing the best we can and I definitely don't think we're being irresponsible by doing this.

As Tee said, your ILs sound awful! Double standards it is!! Don't let him/them make you feel bad about this, please.

I also agree with Tee on the guardian issue. I think it's better if you discuss it with the people you're thinking about.

Sweetbroody You do need to discuss it with the relevant people and then when the provision is made in the will it names them and explains how assets are to be held in trust but also how they will be able to access some of the estate for the upbringing of the children etc. But you don't need to discuss it with anyone you're NOT asking.

Although grandparents sometimes think they are the natural people to choose, unless they are extremely young, fit, healthy and willing, someone from your own generation would be better for DC. I have friends who've arranged it mutually because they're far more 'in tune' with one another's ideas of family life than they are with their own families'. Obviously maintaining contact with both parents' extended families is part of the package.

Lots of arrangements, which will hopefully prove entirely unnecessary, but so important. We've only arranged it informally with one of my sisters and her DH but need to legalise it. Also, I will name my sis but not her DH, just in case they every split up - highly unlikely, but if it's attached to just one person it makes it clearer, even if the understanding is that my sis and BIL would make our DC part of their family.

And Naat, take deep breaths and ignore parents jumping up and down at the other side of the world. You're navigating your way through the vagaries of the housing market as best you can and your baby will only benefit as a result. As Sweetbroody points out, you're only talking about swapping one nice place for another, and the timing may not be brilliant but all will be well and your babe won't notice anyway!

Do you guys have to choose godparents?
I'm not entirely sure that it is officially so but in our religions (greek orthodox and catholic) the godparents are the ones who look after your children should anything happen to you. I would imagine this would probably have to be backed up by a will or some kind of legal document nowadays.
Sil has asked again to be godmother and I caught myself considering it after a few days where she was intentionally especially nice and friendly but she just switches so quick and was back to her witchy diva old ways yesterday, we're definitely going to ask our first choice, a married couple (cousin of dh) who are stable and settled.

We don't actually go to church by the way. Religion just happens to be a strong element in both our families/upbringing.

Sil also said she wanted to be at the birth "cause you can have two people there". Yup, dh, and my best friend if needed, I really just want dh there.
In-laws huh...

These in-laws are remarkable!

June, my parents are deeply religious; I have no belief so there are no christenings, godparents or any other such business for my DC. If you do choose godparents, in the RC church the expectation is that they then take an interest in your DC's religious upbringing (mine emigrated to Canada a year after my christening and I've never heard from them since ) but it doesn't follow that they are also legal guardians. In fact, unless you have the same godparents for all your DC that wouldn't work at all! So I think it's a separate question.

Don't RC churches insist on only baptising the DC of practicing Catholics? They used to be quite strict on that; a big difference between RC and Anglicanism, and one of the few things I admired the Church for!

Hi everyone.
pmsl Ermintrude about inserting a "penis" to test pelvic floor!!!

Just a quick post and will try and catch up later on.

Got about 2 hours sleep last night. My eye was irritating me all night with green gunge coming out etc.When I got up this morning I looked awful and it is now spreading into the other eye Went to the pharmist and she said can't take anything. Just keep bathing it in warm water.I bought some Pregnacare vitamins as I am soooo run down. I am 26 weeks today 14 weeks to go

June - It should be up to you to decide who you want to be god parents. I am amazed that some people actually ask before you have even given birth! It puts you in an awkward position should you choose not to have them.

Sorry to hear about your poorly eye choccie go see the GP, there might be something you can take on prescription.

We've chosen my mum and dad to look after the kids if anything were to happen to us. Need to legalise it tho'....

Ooh choccie is it conjunctivitis? I hate that! There might be something you can bathe it in, although I know they don't like to give antibiotics for it any more. Hope you get something that helps soon.

Afternoon all

sweetbroody, total at some of your family, you weren't kidding when you said you thought there may be problems! Glad the ceremony went well, although cooking for 100 would have completely floored me at the best of times, i'm in awe Now is exactly the time to think about wills and get them done, otherwise you end up with all the best intentions and never getting round to doing anything about it.......can you tell i'm talking from experience My dh is also rather keen on gaming, has it's advantages as far as i'm concerned

Naat, sorry your family haven't been supportive. I think it would be unusual for them not to worry but these things are often unavoidable and fairly common, surely it would be better to find some way of being supportive rather than hitting the bad mummy alert button How's the house hunting going, any luck yet?

laura, glad you're having a better day, still consider sending that letter though. Happy birthday to you and your dh

tee, i think that's a great strategy, some of my garden could do with digging over, maybe i'll tell dh there's a playstation 3 buried somewhere Hope you get on ok with the doctor tomorrow.

Well, after my thanking june yesterday for the reminder, I completely forgot to ask for the grant forms from the midwife It had been my mantra all day, must remember forms, must remember forms........and then nothing So naat you're not on your own with the whole pregnancy brain thing The appointment went ok, the good news is baby has turned head down (yay) the not so good news is that i'm measuring 34 weeks instead of 28 weeks (boo) so i've got to go back to the hospital next week to see the doctor again. Dd3 was 9lb 9ozs so it seems there is the possibility that this lo may be bigger, if it had been just a couple of weeks out I wouldn't have worried at all, but 6!

muminmiddleeast, there were a couple of threads a short while ago, one from another lady living in the middle east who was worried about having her baby taken away straight after birth as it was common practise where she was, the other was on the pros and cons of early cs before 38 weeks, might be worth having a search to see if you can find them. You could also check out this site.

chooice - I'd rate preg vits, didn't take them with other pregnancies as pride myself on good diet but this time round with all nursery bugs from boys I've taken them and feel great. Conjunctivitis is viral I think so saline (just boiled water and bit of salt) is best thing for it, when boys had it its cleared up in same time with saline wash as it has with eye drops, if goes red and sore tho go to doc

june - we chose godparents that are friends who were at least interested in church or went, don't think they have any legal role except to teach them about God, avoided family as they already had a significant role in ds's life and saw it as a way of extending ds's family

We still haven't written a will - keep intending too but can't decide on guardians, we did ask my brother, he's only 15mo younger than me but single and about to start uni again in Sept so now in a different chapter of his life to us, can't ask BIL and his wife as BIL in army and its not the kind of lifestyle I would want my children to be brought up in (my only issue is all the travelling around), I also think grandparents aren't necessarily the best choice as although our parents are early 50's I feel like they've done their child rearing bit and would rather they supported whoever had the kids.... we really should get something down though

sweetbroody - il's can be a pita but yours sound particularly bad! family politics is horrible, I don't think I would tell IL's we didn't want dc's to go to them as they would get all unnecessarily offended and completely miss the point that its worst case senario!

naat - agree with whoever said that moving isn't the worstthing you can do when pg, when are you hoping to move?

bigcar - wow at dd3 being a big baby, did they all get progressively bigger? ds1 was 7lb3oz, ds2 8lb 3oz now a little worried dc3 will be even bigger... and apart from having to carry that weight they won't be able to wear cute newborn clothes!
great news about head down, hope hosp appointment goes ok x

hi all,
so sorry,but have not had time to properly read thru all the posts, just skim read and was at some points and at others. will try to do better later/tomorrow

just realised have not yet said welcome to muminmiddleeast another

choccie for your poorly eye. shame youre not breastfeeding yet, bm supposed to be very good for that....

hello to everyone

Thanks all for your sweet support

June, yes, your first choice sounds much better/more stable

Choccie sorry to hear about the eye/s. I've heard luke-warm camomile tea is good for it. Hope it gets better soon

Bigcar yay for the position of the baby! Thanks for your kind words...

Insy, our contract ends end of May and we don't want to renew it (for maaaany reasons) so we'd looove to move end of April instead of end of May (as baby is due 12th June) but the letting agency/landlord are not being too helpful (taking into account they don't HAVE to help us as a contract is a contract). So I'm wrapping my head around the idea it's going to be end of May with loads of planning and organisation so that it's the least stressful possible.

One of the people from the letting ag. came today to show our flat to someone... It'd been great to know he was coming but well, thank God the flat was quite decent. Then he said he'd come back to take me to see another property but he never did

OH MY GOD - PREGNANT GIRL ALERT!

I was just interviewing Michael Morpurgo over the phone for one of my articles and he was so nice (and passionate about reading) that after I got off the phone I felt so overwhelmed I started to cry!

Never. Done. That. Before.

Madness!

I said I'd try and come and see him at the book festival and he said oh great well if you do tap me on the shoulder and say hello (also said he loved Edinburgh MrsMcJnr) and was just too lovely...

Sorry not to catch up properly but feeling so behind, quick points, sorry about your PITA in-laws Sweetbroody, glad things are better at work laura, I hope the doctor helps you out tee, I know depression is so hard. I am going on a wee holiday next weekend to Ireland (just me and dh), but no hols in the summer (yet), camping would be great though, especially now dh can drive! Hope all the gtt tests and scans go well. Welcome back middleeast!

Hi to everyone else, must dash and pick up dd!

Tee I think for money he?d dig my grave for me!

ermintrude13 Thank you for your advice it?s given me food for thought? Its hard because both DH and I are the eldest siblings on both sides... so there isn?t really anyone I can think of. I was also thinking of my younger brother? (Not exactly planning to hand them over any time soon so I?m thinking he?ll be settled by the time this becomes an issue?)

bigcar I knew it would happen! And this was all just the icing on the cake? I give up on the whole thing sometimes... and I feel bad when I moan to DH it?s not his fault that his family is such a PITA and he half agrees with me as well! What are the advantages of him playing? He works ridiculous hours as well so I feel like it eats into ?our? time?
I will try and put some pics up once I get home?. From the 3D and some of me from the ceremony? Might be nice for ppl to put a face to the name!

bigcar I?m writing loads of notes on my phone and reminders in the calendar this seems to help because my brain is also a sieve!

insywinsyspider I see your thinking the same about wills? with your brother? It?s hard to know isn?t it.. it might never happen but then it might just!

littlesarah I think we?re all in the very same boat with our emotions ? it doesn?t take much to get me started? I?m surprised I?ve been so good so far... I remember watching Titanic when I was much younger and crying literally all the way home! And it wasn?t a short walk!

LittleSarah aww, Michael Morpurgo is indeed a lovely man - my DH has had several dealings with him in the past and they've always been positive. It's perfectly understandable that talking to someone so helpful and passionate would make a girl a bit weepy . If you go to the festival with a new babe in tow I'll be he'd love to meet you both.

You should know, all first-timers that from now on you will never stop crying at stuff. I was talking to one of the playground mums this morning about how we can't bear Comic Relief because all we need is to see one shot of a poor child in wartorn Africa and we're off. I think I'll sit in another room and tell DH to shout me when Ricky Gervaise comes on..

Sweetbroody I have 4 youngers sisters but it's still not easy to think who we'd like to bring up our children if we both died. There are pros and cons for everyone. In the end we went for the sister who is married to a very nice man and has her own kids, because they already understand a lot about caring for children and family life and would be very warm and responsible. Other sisters would be loving to DC but maybe forget to feed them or send them to school... . No option is completely perfect but to know we've made the best possible arrangements if the worst happens is quite a relief, and we just don't think about it any more.

ermintrude - Good lord you are right about comic relief, I remember watching one film in Africa about children whose mums were dying of AIDS and they were all they had. It was so tragic I was in floods. But then don't need to be pregnant for that kind of thing to get to me, do need to be pregnant to cry over nice phone calls though!

Sweetbroody - I guess the whole who would have the kids thing is something we'll need to consider. With dd it's always been she'd go to her dad but with this wee one I'm not sure. Siblings all too immature (at the moment certainly) and dh's too. I think I would say my mum, for the moment certainly, she's only in her early 50s and is probably the best option, I think my dad would understand! Of course there is dh's parents but I don't think they'd be as keen...