Due April 2009: Episode 9 - April Mums with Guns: Rise of the Fanjo Warriors?

[BabyBolat]

Here we go again....

I hope you've all been well and not working too hard or are in too much pain... My sciatica and burning breasts are no better or worse really, so I've been doing what I can and in general that means bringing all sorts of things to the couch or bed or another comfy chair to work on.
Managed to get the house tidied (with a lot of help from DH) and the door curtain made. And the mail has been sorted. I even did a little weaving yesterday on a wrap that's been on the loom since August
Today I went to the midwife, first time in about 10 weeks partly because of the holiday season and because of the missed appointment. Baby is doing fine, strong steady heartbeat, v good size, measuring right on target (31 weeks) so he/she's about 4lbs 8oz. Have another appt in 2 weeks time to help 'catch up' with appointments.
Booked in an antenatal course for march 14th (assuming I don't have the baby by then.) When I asked about MA and MATB1 I got a weird look and an 'I don't really know, your normal midwife would know about that' (it wasn't the normal woman...but yet another, so came home straight away and downloaded the MA form and will call back (again) to hopefully get a MATB1 this aft so I can send off the stuff this aft.
I'm starving now, off to raid the fridge and cabinets...really want tuna, but I know we don't have any...

Afternoon all

Phew Boffin, glad you stuck with us. To be honest I rarely venture further than this thread these days apart from the occasional forays into the naming boards. On the whole I steer well clear of the threads where the scraps take place.

I think you are very right to be seriousl narked. We all are. But it is a public forum, so anyone can come on and see what we have said anyway (although personally I feel like a peeping tom if I venture into another antenatal board or elsewhere 'out of bounds')

Conkertree - I do hope your lecture goes well and some students bother to get their lazy arses out of bed / the bar to come and listen. (No reflection on Springy - more from personal experience of student life)

Hello folks, back from chiro. Hips were a mess but they are doing what they can for me.

I have posted on the other thread urging MN to strive for a better balance between commerce and community, which I think is very important. Unlike others on that thread, I do have in the back of my mind that electronic posts might lurk around a bit, but I do think you have to share information to be able to benefit from society, so that's a trade off I am reasonably happy with.

However I think they have gone a bit far this time. The danger is (forgive me for saying this) that they lose all the informed, socially skilled and articulate women if they pursue the commercial angle too obviously, as we will all simply disappear back to our little privacy zones again. Hence my point about killng the goose that laid the golden egg.

You will then be left with the semi-articulate, reactive idiots who normally populate parenting sites, churning out predictable low-level twaddle, pop psychology and rubbish in a half-arsed way, IMO.

I reckon MN has a concentration of some of the country's most interesting and intelligent women, and is therefore a cut above that, but won't stay so very long if it alienates the truly knowledgeable/educated/informed/articulate people amongst its community.

This is why I got cross with them. And anyway, who would want a world without min min stories???

hi folks am back - they did turn up so that was good. Couldnt get the power point to work though which was annoying but as I told them - it was mostly just headings anyway. One sat looking bored the entire time, but the rest studiously took notes and laughed in the right places, so all in all it was a good experience.

i totally agree auldalliance and bb - its a real shame when people only focus on marks and getting a job at the end - wont start a rant on what i think of the current high school education system being too much about passing the exams and not enough about getting an actual education but its one thing that really annoys me - I know people have to take some responsibility for their own education as well, but when I see the difference in the education that my parents got compared to my siblings and me, it annoys me. I know thats over generalising and sure there have been improvements in some areas too, but generally I think that the passing of exams being the be all and end all, meant we missed out on a lot of knowledge. And I said I wasn't going to rant. Oh well.

wonder if kitty knows any more about her trip yet.

think i will follow bbs example and remove my photos etc from my profile.

Great stuff Conker. Probably an enormous generalisation but I do believe that the Scottish system is a bit more sorted than the English.

It does worry me - how will our children fare?

Boffin- quite agree with your statements, it would be a horrible pity to lose the intelligence factor in onine forums like these, hopefully a balance can be found.

Schooling- I cannot comment about schooling/Uni over here, but having grown up in a culture where education means preparing for a job/earning money and not fitting into that society very well because I my need to feed my brain with juicy tidbits...I do seriously hope that it's not ever going to be that bad here in Britain. It is a truly disheartening thing to be constantly pushed to learn but only because by doing so you make gains in money/job sectors...

Aaargh - how can I persuade DD to have her nap. I've done everything right - we ran around a field getting lots of fresh air, we played and played in the playground, she's had a good lunch followed by a bottle of milk and a lullaby in a darkened bedroom. And none of it worked. She's currently rampaging around like a little whirlwind of chaos.

I'm staring around me at the piles of ironing and laundry (not to mention dusting, vacuuming, wiping and general scrubbing that needs doing) and just wishing she would sleep for a bit to let me get on with it.

(sorry - bit of an about turn from the conversation about education / intellectual women etc)

My mom used to say to us that we had to take a 'rest', not necessarily a nap...which meant we could take some books and a few toys to bed with us, but we had to stay on the bed for specific amount of time (until she came to get us again)

Thanks Bleu. I am obviously not terrifying enough. DD has recently moved to a 'grown-up' bed which means she can easily get up and out. I need to crack the whip a bit more to get her to stay.

I took her back in there with some more milk, to try the milk / story routine again. So shattered and have such a pounding headache that I dozed off myself almost immediately, only to be woken by DD wielding a biro and drawing on my nose. Cheeky minx then offered me a wet wipe to clean my face.

Lulu - If you figure it out, please let me know how. DD is a whirling dervish, my house is trashed. You would never know she had a cold.

(Off to remove profile)

Oh dear...toddlers welding biros...Lol(forgive me). Poor you though, with a headache to boot. I have no real experience except with my sisters' kids I just kept walking them back to bed no matter the fuss, and explaining that Aunt Bleu's rules were that they had to stay in bed until I thought they had had a good rest, but yes they could take something quiet to do in bed with them... Can dd be trusted with some crayons on her own?

Right, at last, have spoken to GP and head of maternity hospital here, over the phone.

Both insist that the cream I was prescribed is OK for the short period I was told to use it (5 days).

I am going to see the GP tomorrow to try and see if he will give me a week's sick leave, because walking up from the staff car park and then wandering the corridors and stairways of the campus, then teaching 5 hours in a row (which I cannot do sitting down, I just can't) doesn't really seem feasible. Today my knee feels a tiny bit better, but I think that's because I drove DS to the CM's rather than walking him to school.

Have now parked just by the house, in what used to be a parking space till the new mayor got elected and he decreed that a fire engine couldn't manoeuvre if anyone parked there (this is in a street that a fire engine can't get up anyway, it's so narrow). I am risking a 35euro fine...

Re education, I agree that the Scottish system is historically better (good thing they included that in the 3 things that Scotland retained responsibility for in the Act of Union, eh? more useful than minting your own coins, I reckon), though I believe that recent reports have been a bit alarming. I have to say that I receive a lot of e-mails in French from students in their third year of a French degree at the 3 English universities with whom I organise Erasmus exchanges and I am always really shocked by their written French. I took a degree in French almost 20 years ago and standards are really different now. Oh, and they always address me from the outset by my first name, which never fails to surprise me, as we called everyone Dr X and Professor Y, except for a few rare cases when we were in Final year. Is this the norm now?

Oh, and on the nap thing, DS hasn't napped for months, but I insist he stays in bed with a pile of books. Some days he sticks it out for 15 mins, some days for 45, but the basic rule is that he rests every day.

Bleu - if you could see the laptop I am on right now (my mother's brand new Vaio - eek) you would understand the crayon thing. The screen looks like it's been hit with multi-coloured spagetti.

It's worse because we aren't at home so things aren't set out in an ideal way and there are about a million ways she can cause havoc.

I cannot tell you how many biros and permanent markers I have retrieved from her and hidden out of reach but she seems to have found a secret stash somewhere - a limitless supply.

Puzzle - it is some consolation that your DD is also causing havoc. If one more person tells me 'girls are so much easier' I will scream.

Oh no! Dear me. I have a lot to learn

LOL Lulu!

Shame you can't get her to do the ironing while you have a nap! Youth is wasted on the young.

Hello Lovelies,

Thanks so much for indulging my laziness and completing the mini-questionnaire - I feel very happy to be up to date

BabyBolat your boss sounds like a complete a**hole! I'm glad you're having a formal meeting to get everything in writing next week.

BoffinMum I can't believe they're using things said here for their book! I'm also going to take advice and delete my photos and profile - I would hate anyone to be able to 'identify' me - especially since a lot of what I say is said in confidence!! How long did it take you to learn the 'rugby hold' breastfeeding technique (meant to ask you yesterday - bit of a non sequiter)

brettgirl I agree with you about the name thing. I feel like all the names I like have already been used by friends and/or family and we are really struggling to find a third name. Nothing has jumped out at me, either...

AuldAlliance you must push for sick leave - that sounds like a hideous situation to be in.

Thanks for the lovely comments re: the size of the babies - I am feeling so happy that they are that big because I was led to believe they'd be smaller than normal babies due to crowding. I'm hoping that means they might not need too much time in NICU/HDU >>>

I am getting up every hour or so during the night to go to the loo and still having to eat and drink as well as I get so hungry - anyone/everyone else?? It's a vicious cycle: wee, drink milk, go back to bed, wee(not in bed!)eat banana, drink milk, go back to bed, wee....etc. etc.

This may sound weird, but I'm absolutely positive my nose has got much bigger and wider - I thought it was an old wives' tale!! Also, hair much greasier and can't stop burping. So attractive. Have told dh he has to pretend evil, windy, greasy twin has taken me over and that normal Barbarella will be back soon...

Barbarella, I was always a bit gung ho about bf so have fed them standing up, lying down, in a sling, leaning over them on a changing mat, in the bath, in the sea, leaning back into a car seat, etc etc.

Regarding the rugby ball thing, you just turn the baby around (before it latches on!!) so its legs are under your armpit instead of being across your belly. People do this anyway when their nipples get sore in one spot. You can then put another baby the same way round on the other boob (to picture it, imagine their heads together and their feet pointing in opposite directions). It is a highly suitable feeding position for an All Blacks fan!!

I reckon you could actually do this handsfree given sufficient strategically positioned cushions, and some help from a third party, which would mean you could bottle feed a third in the middle on your lap at the same time, as long as they are all enthusastic and efficient feeders, IMO (not all babies are). But you probably need to ask someone who has actually had a multiple birth. I am only guessing.

lol about the pens lulu - can just picture her with her secret stash producing one every time she thinks of a new trick.

auldalliance - we still called our lecturers by their surname rather than first name and that was only 5 or 6 years ago, but maybe it's changed even since then.

In my opinion, I think that we didnt get a basic grasp of language in primary school - eg it wasnt fashionable to teach anything other than what a noun or a verb is. They never went further in depth. So then when we came to study German in secondary school, we didnt have the basics of language structure to refer to. The teacher tried to teach us about tenses etc but was more interested in ensuring we could prattle off what our hobbies were so that we could pass the speaking test part.

My mum who is great at languages sat me down and explained right from the beginning about tenses and other kinds of language structure, and it made so much more sense after that.

Conker, I think you're right about the lack of basics. It's the same here, because there was a move to make language learning less like hard work, so no one taught kids basic grammar constructions. Even though irregular verbs are on the syllabus for all, my students still don't know theirs ("I did know them, but that was years ago, Madame")

Actually, things are maybe worse here because the students can't even witter on about their hobbies, as too little emphasis is put on spoken English and because there is a weird kind of "shame" amongst pupils about speaking in class and speaking well.
By the time they are in second or third year at uni they are vaguely capable of doing written pseudo-analysis of texts (talking about intradiegetic narrators, for instance, which is a waste of time IMO), but get really stuck if they have to ask me to open a window, speak more slowly, etc.

But help is at hand; the Education Minister has decreed that everyone should be bilingual in French/English upon leaving school. Since he recently reduced the number of hours of English taught every week, because they are clearly irrelevant (and expensive), he's now ordering schools to offer "intensive English courses" in the holidays (3 hrs/day for 5 days). The schools now have 2 weeks to find people to take these courses. It's the school holidays and most sane English teachers are (a) going to have a well-earned rest and (b) perfectly aware that no one is going to turn bilingual through such a daft scheme. God knows who's going to teach the courses, which are supposed to include phonetics, intonation and oral training. When I was a teenager, faced with the choice of this or ski-ing in the Alps/dossing with my mates, I'd not have been first to sign up.

Rant over

Hi - I resorted to CBeebies and the bribe of plenty of grapes in the end. Feel a bit more sorted. Headache lifting a bit at last and a few things done (not ironing yet).

Barbarella, I was lucky with bf. A bit like Boffin found that we could do it pretty much any which way. But that may have been some lucky combination of boobs and baby.

I would suggest one of those U shaped feeding pillows. I never had one, but they are really good for helping support the baby and prevent backache. They are also very good for propping up 'not quite sitting' babies on the floor so that they can look around. I've got a hand me down one this time round and I'm really looking forward to it. Reckon it would really come into it's own with multiples.

As for lecturers I used to call mine Sir or whatever. But I often got looked at like I was a dork for doing so. My SIL is a uni professor, I will ask her what she gets called.

Oh - and on language - that scheme sounds ludicrous AA. Perhaps the president could just get his missus to translate all her songs and the nation could become tri-lingual like her.

Seriously though, I do think it is great if they can start as early as possible. I grew up mostly in Spain so I speak Spanish to DD. I am realistic that she is likely to be stronger in English as we live in England surrounded by English kids but I hope that by hearing two languages from the outset she will find languages generally easier later on. At the moment her vocab in Spanish is much, stronger than in English but that's likely to change when she gets to Nursery.

When I was teaching ESL to little ones (7-9yr olds) in France I found it rather strange that I was not under any circumstances supposed to introduce the written vocabulary to the students...But I don't know tons about such things really.

Well hello

How are we doing with setting a new thread record?

Rugby ball position - I found it as simple or difficult to learn as the 'normal' BFing position - pillows definitely help Barbarella. You'll be fine

DD had a wee leakage this morning in our bed... the first in ages but I think she just had too much to drink last night and her nappy got too full! DH was disgusted... has he forgotten all the poo leakages you get with newborns? He'd better get used to them again quick

Has anyone had any luck yet with getting the application form for the maternity grant? My MW says she hasn't seen any yet so seems the whole system isn't actually set up yet?