Due May 2009 - Bring on the Creme Eggs, mooing and choo chooing

[Jennster]

Thought I'd better start this soon.

I know what you mean.. Maisie used to lie stretched out like a dog in front of our open fire so that she was red hot. Just kept staring at the fire last night

Oh and you need to bear in mind that if baby comes early, or if you are ill with a pregnancy-related illness within the 4 weeks before your due date, your mat leave has to start then.

I'm hoping that doesn't happen to me as I plan to be on annual leave over Easter, so I can have 2 weeks off for 8 days leave

Loobylou, you are correct- you can take your leave at any time in that leave year, so before or after (I am using mine up before). I suggest you have a look on the BERR website for the pregnancy at work guides for employers and employees and show this to your employer. They should really take the initiative and be clued up on this anyway, but sounds like they need a push. If you can't find it, i will try and dig out the link.

ooh pula I wonder if I've got that wrong then?.....

thanks pula I did say to the secretary that I could print out the guidelines for her but she got all arsey with me

Like its my fault she's not up to date on employment law.

I am such an inconvenience...

Only because they have had their inadequacies as an employer exposed!

Spangle- where I work they are very flexible about leave. We basically have 30 days per calendar year and we can if we wanted take all of that in January, and can even borrow from the next year (or carry up to 10 days over, if you knew you were planning a big holiday). Basically, if you left mid-year, and you'd taken more than your monthly entitlement, then they'd subtract that from your last month's pay. So it might be worth you seeing if you can have more, if that's what you want...

Looby

You are absolutely right that you annual leave accrues during your maternity leave. In my case, I am entitled to my full amount of 31 days. My leave year runs from April to March, so I am starting my maternity leave on 18th Feb, taking a year off until 18th Feb 2010 and then using my annual leave until the end of March 2010 (or thereabouts!)

You are entitled to your leave under the Working Time Regulations, and I know that some companies insist that women take the statutory amount of leave under the regs. What are you contractually entitled to? Do you know?

In any case, the secretary is wrong and you are right. If you go back to the link I posted yesterday, there is an interactive tool which allows you to input your personal data and it tells you what you are entitled to under the law. You might want to print that off and give it to the secretary so she is informed and doesn't give you more ammunition to throw at them!

pula you're civil service too aren't you? I think there are some variations between departments but basically the same. I didn't realise we could borrow from the next year. I don't think it often crops up TBH as the leave entitlement is generous, plus we have flexi-time. Actually they are changing contracts for people at my level, taking away the right to flexi-time (we will be contractually 'expected to work some additional hours from time to time' ) and moving to performance-based pay. Anyway, I intend to make as much use as possible of the flexi-time while it's still there

Spangle- yes I work for BERR. We officially shouldnt work flexitime at my grade but we all do. Basically in BERR, anything can be arranged re. flexible working/annual leave as long as your line manager agrees it.

Looby

You're not an inconvenience to your employer or anyone else - they are lucky to have someone who has worked without pay for 8 weeks!!

There is 1 HR person where I work (the famously tactless one) and she doesn't actually know the Mat leave rules and gave me duff info to begin with .

So, I am completely bemused and just gave her a letter with my Mat B1 stating that I would be leaving 09/04/09, but could she advise how my holidays/annual leave would be taken into account. She looked a bit peed off but at least I've given her something other than chocolate/weight/exercise to think about

Talking of HR hag, just smiled and waved at her through window and shovelled a large cookie into my mouth whilst doing so.

Me, a bitch? No, never!

Grumpy- I like your style

I need to cut back on the cookies myself, as i now weigh 12 st (nearly gained 2 stone at 24 weeks ). I don't want a repeat of the 4 st i gained with DD!

I should be working today but the kids nursery is closed, and our remote access IT system is overloaded with homeworkers so is very slow and keeps crashing. So i'm now on A/L

Pula

I weighed just under 12 stone before I got pregnant and I think I've put 1-1.5 stone on thus far .

I am seriously considering getting one of those 'wide load' signs.

My DH is losing weight at the mo, due to his job being manual labour - heavy engine lifting, etc. We will look like Jack Sprat and his wife in a few months.

Still, if I didn't cram cookies into my gob, I would not be this size, never mind........

Hello ladies.

Nappies! We're planning reuasables full time. Any thoughts/ advice/ recommendations? I'm a bit confused about sizing at the moment. Do you get one size and then some little ones for newborn? Which ones work the best?

Looby. Come on. These women speak the truth. Stop being intimidated by your employers, get it sorted. I'm sorry you have to work for such complete and utter twats. I just love people who expect you to happily work for nothing. I know its horrible to go through, but don't wait for your boss to be in a good mood to get it sorted - sounds like you'll be waiting forever.

I am thinking of changing pen name to Bouncycastle. Thats what my belly resembles today - someones having a blast in there.

One more thing. I found out yesterday we are all very lucky to have children born the year of the Ox! Hopefully it will mitigate the gemini thing (for those of us down that end of may - I'm a gemini, wouldn't wish it on anyone ).

Polony I used reusables until I started working nearly full time (so about 9 months). I really liked them and plan to use again with new baby and hopefully get DD back into them if she still fits the ones I have. I used muslins folded up with extra padding and liner for newborn upto about 2-3months and then went into small size pocket nappy, at about 6m months old she went into the medium size. I haven't got any large so not sure if I will invest or not if I go back to using them with DD when I am off on mat leave.
The pocket nappies are great, I used liners with them and if poo just chuck liner in loo if wee just put the lot in your nappy bucket and wash every 2 days or so. The liners seem to wash and last a few times before breaking up.
I started using disposables at night when DD started sleoping through as she would wake up wet through and I thought it would be more comfy for her.
There are threads for using reusables which are helpful and check if your council runs any schemes I got about 70 pounds worth of nappies for 20 pounds through the council.

Grumpy re HR lady. I'd be tempted to have a pile of cookies at the ready for such occasions but then I know I'd eat them all in one go.

Our remote access system has been rubbish today so am effectively having a half day (when I sum up the amount of time I've been working ). Oh well, of my 2 colleagues on this project one is doing the same and the other has booked a day off so I shan't feel too bad.

Re nappies, I'm interested in finding out about re-usables too. Sounds easier than I thought if using liners - I was put off at the thought of scraping poo off terry nappies. My mum told me she felt like didn't get rid of the shit under her fingernails for years when we were young.

Hi all sorry to hear your work is such a PITA at the mo looby re your pay/holidays/maternity leave. It's not right for any employer to put you through this under any circumstances. I would take a deep breath & ask for your pay. The worst that could happen is you don't get it... and you're the same tomorrow as you are today... worth a shot!

Re washable nappies... There are a variety of types. The pocket ones eg.fuzzibunz have a waterproof outer cover and inner lining that allows liquid through but doesn't asorb anything joined together and you stuff (crotch area) them (between inner and outer) with your chosen absorbent pads. Pop a paper liner in crotch area to catch any poo and on it goes just like a disposable nappy. This is the type I bought as we live in a flat with no tumble dryer and I needed ones that would dry fast. As febes says you flush any soiled paper liners down the loo... no need to get any poo under your finger nails and just put the whole nappy in the bucket if just wee. As far as washing goes I have a mesh bag in my nappy bucket so all I need to do is take bucket to washing machine... lift mesh bag containing all nappies... shove straight into machine... add washing powder and a bit of nappysan like powder and wash. With them being stuffables/pocket nappies I take the absorbent pads out of the nappy after washing as they dry quicker separately.

When I was researching which one to get/how many... the things to consider are...
how often do you plan to wash a load?
how are you going to dry them (outside on line/tumble/rack inside)?
do you want one that goes on like a disposable in one go?
or one that you have an outer cover to put on afterwards?
does bulk/slimness of fit bother you?
lastly price you want to spend...

I used twinkle on the web amongst others to help me find out more and make a decision.. they have a great choose nappy quiz to help you work out what may suit you and these are the fuzzibunz ones that i use the most. I also have some One Size Nature Babies Stuffables and Onelife shaped one size nappies but I think they're v bulky on a very little baby.

hi, all.
was an early night out last night - home by 10pm as I was quite tired. I did have a small glass of red wine which made me feel 'normal'.

looby, I'm so sorry about Maisie. Also hope things get clearer with your job. My employer is a bit dodgy with our pay and contracts as well (leaves a lot to interpretation...) but nothing like yours. so I hope it gets sorted as you don't need further stress of money.

YOur holiday will accrue but not sure when you can take it. I think you have to wait for it to accrue and take at the end of mat leave (?). not sure, I'm afraid as I have a similar question to my employer.

the conversations on piles last night made me both giggle and squirm.

hope all are well today.

Momino- I agree- the piles talk was very funny but had also made me dread my next trip to the loo! My DH has no sympathy for me as thinks its caused by sitting on my arse all day [sad but true emoticon]

May I give a word of advice about... ehem... the back passage?

To avoid piles and anal fissure (which is much worse than piles, if you can believe it) take prenatal vitamins that don't have iron in them, and eat cooked green vegetables every day.

Iron in pills unfortunately constipates and makes the poo harder - pushing causes the piles and the hard poo itself causes anal fissure.

Cote

'anal fissure'

There is nothing glamorous about being pregnant, before I had my babies, when I was in my twenties and probably had glossy, swinging hair and a waist, I don't think I would ever believe that I would choose to discuss piles and 'anal fissures', leaking boobs etc.

Or have to think about breast pumps!!

I won't go into details (which are more bloody & painful than birth, if you can believe it), but please avoid iron in supplements and eat cooked green vegetables.

Looby - am soo sorry to hear about your poor cat. Am sure the vet is used to hearing sobs all the time, and they are always nice and sympathetic. Worried for you that the ground is going to be rock solid for a while - I know this sounds a bit bonkers - but have you thought about pet cremation? My parents did that with one dog a few years ago - Dad was going to bury him in the garden, but they were moving, so the vets arranged some official pet cremation, and you get a nice box with ashes and then you can put them under their favourite tree / spot in garden or somewhere. (Sorry if thats a bit morbid!!)

FiKelly - glad all sorted with your MIL

... so I had my monthly midwife check up today (now 24 weeks) - and she couldn't hear LO's heartbeat with the doppler. Am not really worried, as I can feel her bashing about inside like nobody's business. Midwife said it could have been interference, as there was some drilling works going on quite close by. However, she was squidging around on my belly for so long, that I thought I was going to faint - you know, that lying on your back for too long thing, then the baby squashes the vena cava and you go all woo-ey and hot and sweaty. Ugh. Most unplez. Still, she said I can pop back next week without an appointment so she can have another listen if I'm worried... is it worth it?