Right, our birth story? warning, it's long.
We?d just finished wrapping our presents, dh upstairs, me downstairs. He was sorting out the kitchen, I was lying on the sofa watching tv when pop, just like a balloon filled with warm water, my waters broke. I jumped off the sofa thinking ?this cost a fortune?, found myself standing on a new rug thinking ?this cost a fortune?, realised we have just carpeted the house for a small fortune and ran to the kitchen which is tiled. I then stood there for 10 mins or so like a horse pissing ? legs apart, water gushing. Dh ran around wondering what to do while I laughed and laughed and laughed ? it was finally beginning and I was thrilled. 5 mins into it, contractions started and they were coming about 3 mins apart. I was amazed, having expected them to be much more intermittent and not so strong at first, so thought yay, we?re having a baby in a few hours time! Got into the car, thought ? fantastic timing, this means we can park outside the hospital and have free parking on Christmas day and boxing day, too ? really solving one of our major problems with getting to the hospital (Whittington in Archway).
Got to hospital, they found us a room and a wonderful midwife (ALL the staff apart from one doctor in the labour part of the hospital were AMAZING ? we were really impressed ? diff story postnatally). She saw the contractions were coming fast and frequent and checked me out ? 1cm dilated. Not what either of us expected. By rights, she said, I should be sent home or at least sent to a different ward as this wasn?t even classified as active labour. But she kept me there because of the strength and frequency of contractions ? I was thrilled again, because it was one of the 2 rooms with a birth pool which was part of my plan. She helped me in my movement and breathing, dh timed contractions and helped and it was all going swimmingly. 4 hours later and I was using my yoga moves and some voicing and the TENS and she checked again ? 1-2 cm dilated. We were all really disappointed. She also said the baby?s head wasn?t properly engaged (this after it engaged fully at 30 weeks the little sod, but popped out later on). So we kept going ? the pain was beginning to get to me and she said that I just had to ask for relief and we?d get some. I mentioned gas and air and was so looking forward to it. With just 2 inhalations I vommed for Britain ? so that was out. I was utterly shocked and asked what the next step was re: pain relief: pethidine. I?ve had p before for another procedure and had a great time on it, so asked for that. It did help, but distanced, rather than eased the pain. However, it made me want to stay still, so I sat upright in a chair and dh held my hand and I tried to will the pain away with force of mind. So from here on in there was almost no movement. I was just too scared to move for some reason. Another 4 hours later and a change of midwife (to someone equally lovely), they checked dilation: 3cm. it was here that the doctors monitored me and saw the baby?s heartbeat was dropping occasionally. They suggested a syntocin drip as the next stage ? and it was then I asked for the epidural. If it was going to get even more painful, I didn?t want to feel it. So the Lovely anaesthetist came in and explained everything and put it in and then it was bliss (iykwim). We watched the contractions increase on the monitor both in strength and frequency ? 4 every 10 mins and the midwife was convinced that the next time I got checked the syntocin would be doing its job and I?d be 7 cm. they next checked and I was 4cm ? at this point they mentioned a c-section if the dilation hadn?t progressed at the next check ? they also mentioned the problem with the baby?s heartbeat dropping.
We were both gutted to hear the word, really ? really really disappointed. I just never thought I would have one, it had never even occurred to me. The midwife then said she would do everything she could with the syntocin to get me dilated further ? she was v confident that it would work. She also found that if I moved to one side the baby?s heartbeat didn?t drop quite so much ? she was wonderful. However after another interminable age, the same doctor checked me and basically ordered me to have a c-section (her bedside manner left something to be desired ? dh asked a question about statistics and she a) blanked him and then b) told him no such statistics existed).
So once we decided on a c-section, we had to wait another 3 hours for a couple of other women to go in before us ? it gave us time to come to terms with it, I suppose, but also gave me time to become really really nervous. By the time I went in I was shaking like a leaf in an earthquake. I got more scared as the top up epidural made me sick again, but the staff in the theatre were fab. I thought they were still fiddling around trying to get in when dh saw dd come out (it took 3 mins from the start to pulling her out ? it is so so fast ? the rest of the time was sewing me back up). From now on dh had to fill me in because I was slightly out of it ? dd came out white and limp and obviously not breathing. They paged some doctors who rushed in not in scrubs, so dh realised the shit might be hitting the proverbial ? he went over and was pushed out of the way by doctors. By this time I was complaining of not being able to breathe (probably the pressure of the doctors trying to get membranes and placenta out, I imagine). So poor dh thought not only was his dw dying on the operating table, but that his newborn child was stillborn. Luckily the doctors do what doctors do, I got better and then we heard a cry then another, then a lovely paediatrician in a Pringle jumper (looked so odd when everyone else in scrubs) came over to tell us the baby might need some time in the neonatal unit, but should be fine ? he found out she was a girl at which point I cried and cried and cried because I had secretly wanted one all this time in honour of my mum, but had tried to convince myself it was a boy.
About an hour later the little thing was sucking away merrily on my breast and the doctors were really impressed. They did a quick check of blood gases and told us to ignore everything before and treat her like a normal baby, everything was fine ? so, she is a fighter (don?t we know that in the middle of the night when she cries). It was strange. Like LadyT said, we didn?t exactly bond immediately ? dh and I joked that we wouldn?t be able to pick her out ina line up, and that we were intellectually in love with her, but not necessarily viscerally. I suppose it takes time.
I was in labour for 22 hours in total, never got beyond 4cm dilated, and the baby only ever got to 1/5 palpably engaged, so it was never really going to happen vaginally. I never in a million years thought I?d end up with a c-section, but in the end it was a really good experience. As DH says, it was both the best and the worst day of his life.
Sorry this was so long.