December 08 - a few babies under the tree still need unwrapping!

[EffiePerine]

New thread ladies. I have a feeling I will be talking to myself a lot

Public Transporting. I can't drive I really must learn but I'm going to wait until DH has passed his test.

will that be train or bus? Just thinking about the best place to meet you and what would be easiest - I assume you'll have a buggy?

I'm just trying to get my head round out of school fun for Lucy. She used to do Tumbletots and Debutots until Christmas, and now wants to start ballet too! They're all after school but I'm not sure which to do because I'm sure 3 clubs would be too much for her. I am managing to get her to and from school with Phoebe in tow, but the thought of traipsing across town to various clubs fills me with anxiety! What to do!!!

Bus, I normally get off at the Stonebow but can get off at train station. I will have my P&Ts with me. Actually I better check I can get on the bus with it as they have a stupid policy on only certain pushchairs on.

I know my way around York quite well so can meet anywhere and I can always ask DH, ooooh I could get him to have the day off and he can take DS1 round the railway museum or I could leave DS1 at home with him.

Bit of a long post coming up.

Just rang LLL. Started crying which was a little embarassing

She said that it can be done and gave me some things to do.

She said to put DS2 at the breast every 2 hours, she said it doesn't matter if he doesn't take a full feed but it will help.
To try and feed him at least twice a night because he normally only wakes once.
Put him to the breast when he is awake, he doesn't have to take a feed but just being near will help.
Carry him in a sling so he can feed and I can still do things with DS1.
Gradually wean off formula and maybe replace the formula with EBM so DH can still feed him so I can get a bath etc.

She is going to send me some information in the post. She did say to keep getting him weighed regularly so I know he is putting weight on.

Kayz good for ringing LLL. Your HV is talking a load of rubbish, of course bigger babies can be exclusively bf, our bodies are amazing and will produce what we need (if you couldn't feed bigger babies then how the hell would people feed twins? Or how would people manage to feed until 6 months, a 6 month old is bigger than your newborn ds!). You are doing a great job, try not to doubt yourself and keep talking to the experts not your HV.

Re blocked duct/sore boob (forgotten who it was) keep feeding, it is the only way to clear it. Best way is to lay baby down on the bed and get on all fours and dangle the breast into the babie's mouth so that the chin is pointing towards the blocked part. Feels very silly to do but is the best way to get the baby working the part of the breast that needs emptying. If you start to feel like you have flu then go see a Dr as that is a sign of mastitis.

thanks indith - it's me with the sore rocky boob! i don't feel fluey but have got a mega headache!

here's a daft question - is anyone actually entertaining or stimulating their newborn in anyway? feel like Phoebe watches lots of mumsnet, lies in her baby gym, or gets cuddles, but I don't give her toys or anything. Lucy was in hospital for her first few months so I'm not sure when to start to be more creative. I sound really thick now!

Just a quick post, we're off up to Yorkshire tonight as well & I need to pack.

kayz you're doing really well feeding Dylan & I'd ignore your HV!

trace hope you're feeling a bit better today

oli great birth story!

I went to the clinic today to see the HV & Sean has got thrush in his mouth which could explain why he's been unsettled. That's the reason I'm clinging to anyway!

trace I've tried with Sean but he's not showing much interest atm. He likes the black & white books but only for about a minute, if that!

Kayz - i am so glad you called lll. ignore you hv. of course a big baby can be exclusively bfed if that is what you want to do. dd2 is over 11 lbs at 3 weeks and exclusively bf. just remember how well you have done managing to bf this time round. with determination you can do anything .

i am having a slightly hard day with dd2 today. she has been a bit fussy and cross and she is feeding in 2 min spurts, then falling asleep, then waking as soon as i move her, then crying for food, then feeding for only two mins... argh. we were at a soft play cafef all morning with dd1 and it was embarrassing having dd2 bob off my naked boob in public.

Kayz...I rang LLL last time round and found they were so helpful. My sister in law (with the tongue tied baby) has got her daughter down to one formula a day now. Just keep at it if that is what you want to do. But don't worry if you still need to FF as there is no harm in that at all.

Ros Have a great weekend. Hope you get some r&r!

Hello All,

Gosh Amber is keeping me so busy i'm having no time to MN!!!!!

Hope everyone is ok.

I'm BF and am dreading doing this in public. It is a mission getting her latched on at home and that is with the nursing chair and pillow don't think I will ever be able to get her feeding in costa etc. Also don't want to be a flasher.

Am managing to get dressed most days (what an achievement) but have only been out once so far.

I cannot believe how much Amber poos she is 8 days old now and I was hoping that the poo thing would have settled down a bit by now.

Congratulations Effie and Oli

Have lots of vistitors this weekend so doubt I will get out then either. Amber always seems to want to feed just as someone is arriving to meet her then I feel all nuts like I am trying to hog the baby!!!

xx

i feel like i want to hog my baby all the time emma - even when it's not feed time! if she grizzles or cries on someone else i just want to take her back and make it all better for her!

Afternoon Ladies

Kayz, poor you. Glad you got some practical advice from LLL and big sticky up fingers to the HV. Honestly, they don't half make me cross However it ends up, please don't feel bad. You are doing your level best and how can you possibly give more? Yes, I am getting back on the driving. I am having some refreshers in two weekends time. Not feeling too positive about it again but it can't be worse than last time...I hope you AND your DH manage to learn this year - how I wish I had done it in my twenties instead of waiting until I am old and decrepit

Verso - here's hoping for a better night...

Cat - I hate that thing about sleeping when your baby sleeps too. I can't sleep in the day, never have been able to. Even now. Wish I could! Far too busy anyway (though I could probably spend less time on MN - it's a good job I type fast!)

ZJ - hope you didn't think I was dissing the country! It's only those peabrains at the clinic and they are not from my village anyway (I don't think). The veggies were nice - I have got some sprouts for tonight - I bet they are not as nice as your DH's

Where are you in the country, Katie? I didn't realise.

Enjoy your break, Lal - I got Noel Coward's letters for Christmas and have just started a book called Netherland, which has been compared to The Great Gatsby.

Oli - fab birth story! The bit about settling down to watch Spiderman 3 after really made me smile. Glad you are getting on so well

Funny thing happened last night - DD was on DP's lap, waving her head and hands around as usual. We were discussing whether to open a bottle of cheerfulness - I don't want to drink EVERY night, I was really pleased at getting out of that habit whilst pregnant - but DP said to DD "Wave your head and hands around if you think Mummy and Daddy should open a bottle of wine!" - and she suddenly went stock still and glassy eyed for about five seconds! Just my luck to produce a child who has signed the Pledge...

Have a lovely weekend all. I feel like I am running to stand still. But I guess everyone feels that way.

ladyt - a methodist for a dd??? very funny

lal - i have emailed and sent a message via cat - would love that schedule from your friend

oli - what a great birth story - so jealous of all of you who dilated - bloody hell, what is wrong with my cervix - when i had my ERPC after my 2nd miscarriage last year the sodding thing wouldn't dilate then either - the doctor told me i had a stubborn cervix!

kayz - glad you called LLL - glad they were of help - try to be kind to yourself and follow your gut instincts

and just to let you know i breastfed in public today! went to the local cafe in teh park and found a corner and went for it - with dh there and almost nobody watching, so was easy. going to try a visit to central london on monday - eeeeek!!!

have just spent AGES getting the monster back to sleep and she is sodding stirring - AAAAAAAAARGH. but our nights have generally been better - once she settles (generally dh takes 2-4 hours to settle her last thing at night when she tries to start screaming), then she wakes twice for feeding and if i'm clever i can get her back without too much problem. so we are getting some sleep from 3ish to 7/8ish. can't complain...

Hello everyone,

I wish I could remember everything I was going to say, I should have made notes...

Have fun at your Yorkshire meet up ladies. I might pop across the pennines and gatecrash if you have one in the future!

ladyT LOL at the mothers! How very rude of them. I hope you are going to dress up especially to attend the clinic in the future.

I agree with whoever was saying that they don't like their baby being returned from people smelling of their perfume. My MIL is the worst offender too!

trace I've been wondering about how to entertain DD. She is in her baby gym at the moment contentedly staring at the toys. Someone bought us a book called 'Art for Baby', sounds pretentious I know! It has black and white images by various modern artists and some of the profits go to the NSPCC. It comes with a frieze meant for the nursery wall but I put it in DD's moses basket the other day and she was happily looking at it for ages.

DD is a sicky baby too. I have to change her bottom sheet almost everytime I put her in her basket. We go through many a babygrow and vest per day. I keep her upright for ages after a feed too, like you say it just comes up no matter. Not a huge amount but enough to make a mess.

We're planning on taking DD for her first proper day out tomorrow to the seaside for some bracing air. That's the plan anyway! Hope you all have restful nights and good weekends

Message withdrawn

JJ Dummies- I didn't think of it like that - He always wants to suck or feed when he's windy and I don't want to overfeed him, so I guess sucking makes it better for him. Plus I bet the poor fella is just swallowing loads more air by crying so much so I went and got a dummy today although haven't given it to him yet as burps have been coming up a treat without too much trouble at all today. Dentinox seems to work way better than infacol, but my friend swears by Gripe water so now that he's over a month i'll try that as well.
Turnip I love LouLou but I do hate him smelling of someone else too...
LadyT I was thinking that exact thing - I was happy about the fact that being pregnant we'd stopped opening a bottle of cheerfulness every night, and it's gradually happening again! Love your story! I'd love to move back to the area - can you find someone to buy our bloody flat!?
Can't remember who had the rock hard boob but my advice keep feeding from it -- I had 2 of them like that when I got stressed and let down stopped so boobs were both filling up and boiling hot and sore - had to get a pump and managed to express 220ml's in 45 mins! it fixed the problem but hurt like hell - if you don't get it out you'll get it infected and that will be much worse.
Right, DS is full and quietly watching 'Friends' so i'm off to pour myself a glass of red cheelfulness

ladyt lol at dd!

This is my last post as we're heading off soon. I'm going to try & check in but just in case here's hoping we all have good weekends, or at least a good night

Been trying to read odd messages so that I haven't completely missed out! LT - can't believe those women! Shock and horror!!! Stuff them then..I think next time you should turn up dressed like Eddie from Ab Fab in full Lacroix cat suit style! That would stop them in their tracks!

KMP - Really interesting reading about the stress related rock hard boobs. I suffered dreadfully when feeding my DS but I was so so stressed out and contstantly crying so that makes sense to me now!

Talking of bottles of cheerfulness, DH has just poured me a glass of the bubbly stuff to celebrate a whole week of Heidi!

I know I am probably just forgetting but do they really just sleep and sleep for the first week? She is lulling me into a false sense of security at the moment! I'm feeling all calm and relaxed so she is bound to come into her own and start giving me some serious hell....probably just in time for DH to go back to work (which I'm dreading incidentally).

I've put a couple of snaps on my profile.

cat - no, meant i had emailed lal via the MN "cat" system.

dd has been kicking off in her overtired/windy/hungry way on and off all afternoon. trying to re-read the baby whisperer, but am finding it so demoralising as she talks about recognising the signs - how the f* are we ever going to recognise them - feel like such an arsing failure for not recognising them. dd has barely slept today - we took our out this morning for a walk and a hot chocolate, but on returning, nothing seemed to work - she has slept for 45 mins only.

feeling like a failure today and dreading the night to come. have cried to a friend who tells me i am expecting way too much of myself by this stage.

she still hasn't had a bath - we are too scared to do it. she is stinky, too. lease don't call the social services.

oli: DS2 sleeps most of the time too - enjoying it while it lasts!

re entertaining babies, don' think they need more than cuddles and looking at faces at this age.

finally got DS2 in the sling after a bit if experimentation, DH has gone out so doing bedtime on my own for the first time. It does seem to have calmed him downm tghe evening heebiejeebies have yet to start

WG - ditto. Am crying already. how can i be so 'together' in daylight and fall apart so dramatically when the sun goes down?
phoebe has just had her worst screamathon. She's not really done it before and i've never seen her so cross/unhappy/whatever it was. I gave her to dh while I put dd1 to bed and when I came back through she was really screaming loads. I figured she couldn't be hungry as it wasn't that long since her last one (about an hour), so thought she'd take the dummy - DH said she was refusing it but I felt like I could do it better and offered to take her, but he kept her and said she was just unsettled. He said 'do you just not like hearing her cry?' and I said yes - for her sake not mine - I hate the thought that there's something wrong and I can't make it better, and he said 'you never get used to her crying because you just stick the dummy in'. He didn't mean any offense and he agrees with using a dummy, but I took it as a personal dig at my parenting skills. I took her back from him and paced the room for a while and tried her in a million positions but couldn't shut her up, so I finally offered her a boob and she gobbled for England. How can I have not known hunger? or did she just eat because it was there, and really something else was wrong? She's chilled out now but I feel scared that there's something wrong - she looks pale and she has wrinkly bags under her eyes - although I'm very likely to be imagining things.
really sorry for that. am stressing. It's me with the rocky sore boob so maybe it is stress related?

oh and dd1 fell all the way down our wooden stair case this evening and has a big red mark - soon to be nasty bruise - on her back. And we've no calpol in the house so I gave her a Percy Pig sweet. I'm not sure I should be trusted with my own offspring.

trace - sounding very very familiar. in our case i am not sure it is hunger. i try to feed generally between 3-4 hours, but if she is having a meltdown, i don't feel too bad feeding every 2 hours. no reason, oh, i don't know why.

completely sympathise with not knowing why she is unsettled/screaming and it makes me feel dreadful that i may be contributing to the problem, and that i just can't figure her out. also my aunt (a nurse) suggested i might be overfeeding. can this happen with bf babies? surely she'll just sick it up again? oh, hell, who knows???

and now for our news... SHE IS NO LONGER STINKY - WE JUST BATHED HER! she didn't hate it as much as i expected, and seems to have tired her out, so maybe we will do it again, as opposed to relying on her wonderful self-cleaning habit. like an oven. anyway, how does an oven self-clean???

Veggie etc ? I definitely had the cutest baby at the post natal group I went to yesterday [smug emoticon]. Of course, if we were all to get our babies together they?d all be equally gorgeous, but that does not extend beyond this group of people!!

WG ? I?ve been swaddling DD, and recently she?s been working her arms out and seems happier to be able to wave them around whilst still be toasty warm elsewhere (although her hands are freezing all the time, and she is a little monkey at getting her mittens off). And Veggie ? I still cocoon myself in my duvet at night, which I think is the legacy of being swaddled, it?s still so nice to be safe and warm.

Kayz ? well done for getting a second opinion, I hope the advice works for you ? best of luck.

Congratulations Olipop, it sounds like you had a great birth, lovely story.

Trace ? we?ve been given a big black and white penguin teddy (rather like Joey?s teddy in friends) and DD likes to stare at that, but nothing else really interests her ? apart from staring into her daddy?s eyes or staring at lights. And what an evening you?re having ? please remember that in 12 hours time it will be daytime again and you?ll feel so much better again. Wishing you a peaceful night.

LadyT ? I didn?t think you were dissing the country at all, as much as I love it out in the sticks there?s plenty that annoys me about it (mainly cr@p services and small minded people), so it was your experience that made me cross on your behalf. Although today I feel bad for moaning about the doctors surgery ? I went to be discharged by the midwife and when I arrived they gave me an appointment for our 6 week check (which I?d not even thought about yet) and had registered DD automatically. Oh, and poor you, with an abstemious (sp?) daughter!

I think DD has a bit of a dodgy tum today, she?s screamed and screamed for a couple of hours this afternoon, and she?s normally quite placid, and her tummy?s been rumbling away for most of the day ? even though she?s feeding and filling nappies normally. I think it could be the (small amount) of chilli sauce I had for tea last night ? in some ways I hope so, so it will pass through her soon, but in other ways I hope it isn?t me who?s made her so uncomfortable today. Poor little girl