December 08 - a few babies under the tree still need unwrapping!

[EffiePerine]

New thread ladies. I have a feeling I will be talking to myself a lot

Trace - you aren't useless, you are just completely knackered and worn out trying to figure out what a tiny and sometimes illogical and speechless being is trying to tell you. I promise you it's the same for all of us, just not all at the same time. I have had the 'seems hungry, but squirms around a lot when feeding, then eats fist when you take the food away' game today as well. I have decided it's just what babies do sometimes. She is warm, well fed, clean and all the rest of it - no doubt just like your DD. I think they sometimes just feel a bit cheesed off and don't really know why (and who can't relate to THAT!) Don't blame yourself. Do all you can, and if that doesn't work, just roll with it. Seriously. As for grub - you just need to think about what you most fancy, and go and buy it. Tempt your appetite back with only eating stuff you really want - whatever it is. On that note I am off to make Mushroom Stroganoff. Yummy.

KMP - I would say, see what your DH thinks. And I will be hooking you out for a spot of cheerfulness sometime soon. In fact, just partaking of some now. But now I MUST do this Stroganoff or I will be too bloody cheerful to get the quantities right

I need some advice please on slings.

I have the close baby carier and I want to use it tomorrow to do a bit of shopping as DS2 is having his hearing test and my brother is looking after DS1. I don't really want to take the pushchair as a lot of the shops have steps into them.

Its the bag situation I am thinking about, will I still be able to just wear my handbag on my shoulder?

trace and wg I feel exactly the same at this time of day. Even though I've had a good night and a good day, I am filled with gnawing dread at facing the night ahead. I wish we could set up that commune and get each other through this! Trace my appetite is also weird... I think I mentioned it a while back? I have no idea what I want to eat at any point apart from grazing on biscuits and cereal bar type things - NOT healthy! I know what I should be eating, so make myself eat some veg and fruit and stuff but I'm finding it impossible to plan meals properly or cook .

kmp I'm not sure re initials etc... I can see your dilemma. What does your DH think?

Where are you lot all meeting up? Someone mentioned West or SW London... quite a big area! I'm near SW London. West London might be a stretch although when I'm working I work in Chiswick (have a b**gger of a commute!)

hmmm - DH briefly mentioned having the names / initials the other way around before I registered him but until I thought it through (obviously I was pre-occupied by the bum thing) and until i saw it written at the docs i thought it was fine - I guess since it wasn't 'poo' or 'rip' or similar i didn't think it was a problem... He isn't too bothered now - he just said "well I did mention it to you, and if it were me I would have put it the other way around as I suggested, but I wasn't going to argue with you as it didn't bother me to that extent" and MIL has just said "sleep on it" and if it still bothers you - then smend it as I can do so if within 12 months apparently.... Now I feel really silly.....
Ladyt - yes we will def meet up to get cheerful! - i am at moment too - but also must go and sort out a carbonara! arti do you want to be cheerful with us too?

oh btw - I think I have possibly found the way forward with the evening wind - baby bouncer with vibration on! At first i thought it would shake the heck out of him, but decided to put him in it anyway, since I badly wanted a spot of cheerfulness and haven't got a dummy and didn't think i should keep continuously BFing him to calm him, but since I had thought his head control wasn't quite up to the bouncer, I put him in his sleep positioner and so far (fingers crossed) he has been -sort of- asleep but if not, at least pacified??? i probably spoke too soon..... We'll see!

KMP - you aren't silly. Do it if it bothers you otherwise it may bug you.

Kayz - I took my handbag with the carrier the other day. As long as you don't fill it with rocks it will be ok

Thanks LadyT I had visions of it being awkward. I'm going to have to practice with the carrier tonight.

aaarrggghhh

we are having our first evening of crying, refusing to settle, fussing

thought we might have escaped these with dd2 but clearly not

am typing one handed while dh cuts my dinner up for me so i can then eat that one handed

Trying hard to catch up here - firefighting with DS1 all day and feeding DS2 all evening

Cat: if you want to meet up bung me an email or text - ventured out of the flat for the first time today - likewise any other n london ladies . Can do Stratford as well

Arti: you described exactly my feelings to DS1 atm, I feel we had such a strong bond pre-DS2 and now I'm impatient and shouty . Poor lad. Doesn't help that he's cooped up in the flat more (tho as I'm starting to get out that should help). Also Veggie's post about someone stealing her DS1 rang home, tho I'm sure it's me that's changed not him.

Any tips fron those dealing with toddlers most appreciated

Verso: glad the night nanny has started

Turnip: yay for weight gain

Big hugs to those with crappy nights (esp WG) and to everyone wobbling - would repeat that we are all doing SO WELL.

Max is feeding well (tho frequent - every 2 hrs or so) but calm and happy in betw except in the evenings. He's also piling on the weight, 200g betw being weighed on sat (when he's lost a few oz) and yesterday .

Sorry have not brain power or time to do a massive post, apols for missing lots of you out

arti: am with you! Hiccups atm...

DH is back from shop with food and BOOZE

Emmanbump (or emmanbaby now!) ? congratulations on the safe arrival of Amber, and how exciting that she got fireworks to welcome her into the world! Is that all of us now? We?ve been pretty efficient, delivering all the babes before the end of the first week of January.

Trace ? Happy birthday for yesterday, and I?m really pleased to hear that Lucy enjoyed her first day at school, I hope today was as successful. She?s looks very proud in her school uniform!

And Trace/Lal/Kayz ? I?d like a Yorkshire meet up too, York would normally be great for me but I haven?t driven at all yet since having DD so next week might be a bit soon for me to make that trip ? I?ll have to get back in the saddle (or driving seat) soon so I can start to go places again.

Turnip ? well done on the weight gain of DD, and I like the hot water bottle tip for the moses basket, I always think it must be a nasty shock for DD to go onto the cold sheet, so might try that tonight (and then the guidelines police can get us both!)

Veggie ? I lived in Toulouse for a year, all the aerospace stuff there is great, and it?s a beautiful city too. I haven?t been back since 2000, but would love to return at some point.

Catdean ? so sorry to hear that DS had to go into hospital, I hope the 3 hourly feeds improves things for him (and hopefully allows you to relax a bit and get better quality sleep yourself in the 3 hours). My friend visited today and both of her two suffered with colic and she did say that she didn?t envy anyone with a newborn as she found the early days so hard, so you are not alone in feeling like that.

Kmp ? although a PITA, it sounds like you got a much better GP ? I bet that first one wouldn?t have spent so much time with you.

WG ? I?ve also got really dry skin, and in fact it?s the biggest treat in my day if I can find 10 minutes to moisturise all over, it feels SO good for all of 5 minutes til its soaked in. I?ve no idea why its happened though.

LadyT ? I too have stretchmarks on my thighs from my teenage years, and SL they?ve been very pale for a good long time now, so I think (hope) they fade after months rather than years. Annoyingly, each thigh developed one new stretchmark in bright red with pregnancy. And although my stomach has remained stretchmark free, I have grown a ring of them radiating from each nipple!

Kayz ? I feel the same about London, I love it, but I also love that I can come home from it when I?ve done what I want to.

I?ve noticed a thread on the MN homepage today, about tips for what to wear when BFing when out and about, there?s some great tips on their so those of us who were wondering about this earlier in the ? have a read.

DH got home tonight, from his 3 days away ? it?s great to have him home and he says he can see a change in DD and her cheeks have got even chubbier (am getting worried she might pop!), I can?t believe she?s changing and growing so quickly. He?s missed her loads and I haven?t had to do a nappy or anything since 5pm, if he could have fed her he would have done! Just wish he missed me that much too ?!

Oh, and final note ? can I enter my Mum into the MILism contest? Yesterday she said ?Eloise has much longer than average lower legs? What?? I now have visions of her chasing new Mums down the street and pulling pram blankets aside to examine their ?knee to ankle measurement? (her words again). Is craziness hereditary? If so, I stand no chance

Ok, must go as we?re going to try to settle DD for the night. Sleep tight all x

Am cheerfully typing , after 9 months of abstinence I am loving indulging in a wee vino most evenings

trace, wg and others suffering with unsettled babies and reading signals. I have only realised in the past few days after reading the Baby Whisperer section about interpreting signals that I have been missing overtiredness and assuming he is hungry and putting him to the boob and feeding. DS has put on masses of weight so am now worried I have overfed him ! I have started recording when he feeds and for how long in order to try and not feed too much. I thought when he sucked his hand it meant hunger but apparently babies do that when they are overtired too. So, now instead of marathon feeding sessions we are having to learn how to settle him (I think he was previously so full of milk he slept heaps !). Anyway, I wondered if it may be an idea to exchange ideas for settling LOs so that we have a lot of ideas to try when we are struggling. Here are some things that have worked with DS (not every time though):

• cradling him in my arms, swaying from side to side (preferably standing under a light so he sees the shadows moving) and loudly SHHHHHHing in his face (has to be loud to be heard above his screams !)
• DP seems to have a magic shoulder that often has DS asleep within minutes !
• put him in his babasling and walk around until he drops off.
• vibrating bouncer worked a treat this evening.
• baby swing has worked a few times but usually just annoys him if he is tired.
• singing to him while he is rocked (althoUgh better DP than me as I'm a very bad singer !)

I know a lot of these are basic but I'm keen to hear everything others have been trying no matter how simple.... you never know what might just work !

Hello still catch up but just wanted to drop in with a question those who have started using dummy how is it going? We have just had another of our nigthtly screaming demons. They don't last long maybe 30 mins at the most but he really gets himself into a lather I'm fairly sure it's not wind though he does sometimes need a burp as he swallows so much air screaming. I think he just gets tired and can't settle himself last night the tummy tub settled him plus his dad bouncing him, tonight some Chamomilla and my finger to suck oh gotta go he's off again.

Evening all, will do proper catch up tomorrow (mibbes particularly intersted in your talk of telling the difference between hungry and tired, will check back tomorrow) but just to say it's amazing how things can change from day to day. While yesterday was an utter, utter nightmare (dd slept a grand sum of about 2 hours between 9am and midnight and was crying or demanding to be held most of the rest of the day...) today has been so much better - our doula came round at noon to take over for a bit so I could have a couple of hours of sleep and then this afternoon I took her out to town - in a Close baby carrier, for those others that have them I find it sooo comfy and can carry a large changing bag over my shoulder no problem - and all told today she's had 3 naps each of 2-3 hours, and is asleep now so hopefully we'll have a good night as well.

This may be partly because she's not been over-stimulated as usually happens in the evening - we had a power cut for an hour (yikes) so lit lots of candles and DH built a fire and it was so peaceful, she fed for about 20 mins then stayed stuck on the boob for the rest of the time so we had a real break and I felt all earth mother . Very fortunately we have a gas cooker so DH made tea, and then the power came back on just as we were worrying about the house being freezing overnight. Thank God!!

Oh, and I have had 2 glasses of red cheerfulness so am a bit merry!

The one thing I found very odd today was that when Maddie (doula) passed dd back to me, she smelled of Maddie's perfume - that's not my baby! I felt all protective of her and she didn't smell of, well, slightly sour milk which seems to be her default scent.

Hope everyone has a good night, will catch up on personals tomorrow but love to you all, are all our december babies here now?

Morning, hope everyone had a good night or at least better than mine! Ds2 threw up his 3am feed so had to change him & then his nappy leaked so had to change him again, result being he is now wide awake. At least I can catch up on Grey's Anatomy (trying to see the positive!)

mibbes I found the body language bit interesting as well, it did help me figure out what ds2 wanted

veggie we use a dummy but only to settle ds, if he starts drifting off to sleep then we take it out otherwise he wakes up when it falls out & we have to start again

hello. after 2 really good nights, another bad one. up until 3am, back up at 6.30am. i am convinced it is wind, but i just can't get it up. she hasn't had the pure furies of last week - we seem to be able to head those off before they get too mad, but if she won't settle, she just won't settle. can't help thinking it is my fault.

mibbes - i would add putting the baby in a sling (we've got a purely fabric one, which coccoons her next to the chest - she can then hear your heartbeat and feel the vibrations of your voice). i tend to sing to her and walk around the room. dh however tramps up and down the stairs about 25 times and she is bound to be asleep. it is like magic, but we hope it doesn't run out soon - we are using it as our last resort.

also, preggers brain here... my dad bought us an early christmas present for the labour room (yeah, right, like i ended up using it) of some flash speakers for the ipod. we never even got it out of the car. however, clever me has put the instruction booklet and the power cable (!) in a SAFE PLACE. safe place is the clue - so safe, it is now obviously safe from me, which renders the whole thing utterly useless and we have never even used it. i was going to put it in the baby room so i can have some relaxing music aswe try and soothe her. i am SUCH AN IDIOT. the search will begin in earnest once dh is up to look after madam.

this is on top of the fabulous digital watch i had (vital for teaching) which has also disappeared in this house over the past couple of months. sigh.

cat sorry to hear about the colic and reflux. DD1 was never officially diagnosed with anything - despite months of tedious sleep and feed charts - but as she never slept for longer than one hour for MONTHS I have always wondered what the health people missed. You have my sympathy - the crying is very hard to deal with.

Good(ish) night again here though after 2am feed DD2 was very snuffly and snotty in her sleep which kept me awake until 5am for next feed and then DD1 wet her bed... so not much sleep for me though DD2 slept well considering.

mibbes definitely agree it's difficult sometimes to tell the difference between overtiredness and hunger - the signals are very similar. It's particularly confusing during a growth spurt as you tend to think it's overtiredness but then the baby LETS YOU KNOW IT ISN'T!!

I am finding the sling problematic. Any tips from you sling-wearers? It's similar to with DD1 - I put DD2 in it and no matter when she last fed she gets hugely overexcited about her proximity to MILK and starts rooting about frantically and then gets frustrated and upset. Any suggestions (apart from an armour-plated top)?

verso - sorry, don't have that problem with dd - obviously my milk isn't that attractive to her.

good morning.
sorry for my moaning last night. Things always seem brighter in the morning don't they? Thank you for all your support.
Have just taken Lucy to school - i may have looked efficient and organised, but am actually still wearing yesterday's underwear, including soggy breast pads and stinky panty liner! tmi - i know - i really do ming! Am dying for phoebe to go to sleep so i can leap in the shower...!

Verso, I have the same prob with cuddling Max, he'll happily doze on DH but as soon as I take him he's doing his starving baby bird impression! Jiggling him seems to help, so maybe pottering about in the sling? Haven't tried ours yet, as Max is happy dozing in his Moses basket most of the time. He tends to spend most of the morning asleep, then wakes up in the afternoon ready for his feedathon early evening - late night. He had another good night last night - he tends to settle at about midnight, then up at about 2/3 and 5, then asleep until nearly 8. Which is very helpful as the logistics of getting DS1 up, fed and dressed while feeding and changing a baby are tricky!

Will give the sling a go this afternoon as I need to get some housework done, the flat looks like abombsite and we should hopefully be having some more viewings now the holidays are over. But immediate plan is to finish my cuppa and head to bed with the moses basket

am now also covered in vomit. nice.

Hi Trace . Evenings are tough, aren;t they? DH and I tend to sink into a shellshocked heap as soon as DS1 is in bed...

For those local to me, the arrival of baby Max has pushed off some of the shooting and stabbings from the front page of the local rag. He looks great, I look hideous. Twp pics of NY babies, both mothers are wearing Primark nighties though luckily not the same one .

oh and the reason I can get on here is that DS1 is at the CMs today. Big sigh of relief all round.