Due May 2009 - our bellies are getting as big as Santa's

[FiKelly]

It'll be an alternative merry Christmas for us this year ;)

Hey ladies.. thank you for all your kind words - advise and fun anecdotes!

my scan on the 16th went well.. and no abnormalities were found at this stage. So fingers crossed for my next scan in January..

Dad is home now and he is much better then he was - which is a relief.. I am pretty symptomless at the moment but I think I can feel flutterings of baby!

The sonographer annoyed me a bit actually - He goes its "maybe" a girl! I was a bit like... MAYBE! What do you mean maybe! tell me for sure or dont tell me at all!

I'm so sorry so many of you are feeling poorly..

I'm sorry this is such a me post.. I'm having one of those days where you just feel so overwhelmed by what the future holds.. quite scared really..

I really want to buy a new place as well but DH thinks its a bad idea with the present climate...

I dont know!- ITS SO CONFUSING... and everyone keeps telling me how expensive having a child is - which is forcing me to think I shouldnt take the full maternity.. I wish I was richer, younger and a bit more experienced with all this!

SweetBROODY glad to hear your dad is home. I hope he continues to recover well.

I agree that everything is confusing - and I seem to feel one way one day and another the next. At the moment I'm subscribing to the view that having 2 babies is going to be change enough so we should try to keep everything else as simple as possible. And you don't have to decide about mat leave yet - not for ages, so try not to pressure yourself to make any decisions if you can.

Luckily we don't need to move as we have plenty of space here, but I was feeling that we had to buy a new car, but now am thinking we'll just see how we go.

Sweetbroody- don't worry too much about how expensive having a baby is- borrow as much as you can, especially big things and clothes etc., or go to your local NCT good as new sale (I always get some good bargains at these).

However, once you've got the car seat, pushchair, cot etc, then you just buy the rest "as and when" so you don't notice it so much. You also get child benefit which I think is almost £20 for first child, which will cover the cost of nappies, wipes, and other essentials.

I had 7 months off with DD, 9 months with DS and am planning 9 months with this LO. This was enough time at home for me personally. You can change your maternity leave return date with 28 days notice i think, so don't feel like you have to decide now- you just have to give an expected return date.

Sorry, child benefit is almost £20 a week not just £20. Not being clear today.

sweetbroody try not to worry, altho we all do it.

I am forever hearing from people, even family, that I must be made to do this at my age (I'm only 36!!) usually by people who had their children in their early 20's.

However as some of these women are on their 2nd marriages I'm glad I held out till I was ready and had found the right man.

I'm sure we all wish we were richer - but we will all manage.

I think I'm taking the 39 weeks off with LO, but will have to sit down with DH and sort out finances, I don't really want to go back full time to start off with, hopefully do 3 days a week as we have to pay for childcare which will prob take most of my wages.

One of my friends said that his brother and SIL get help from the government for childcare, does anyone know anything about this?

looby, with childcare help, I think you need to make under a certain salary to get help - I'm afraid i don't know what the ceiling is.

With us, i make rubbish money, dh makes a decent wage and just that bit too much to get help with the horrendous nursery bills we have so we struggle like most who are in similar situation.

Not feeling great today. have caught whatever dd1 had yesterday. she's much better today thankfully and, more thankfully, still a bit quite and sleepy so I'm able to relax right now with both dd's napping.

i'm very ache-y and have a cracking headache - i can take paracetemol, right? well, i have done and it's helped. it's on days like this that i don't want to face the world, work and pregnancy but then, realise that with 2 children already, I can't stop! how does everyone do it?

hope everyone's feeling better today.

looby

I know I live on the Isle Of Man so it may be different, but there's no set ceiling to how much you earn. Help is based on your incomings & outgoings on an individual basis.
I think it's based roughly on:

Rent/Mortgage
Nursery/Childminder fees
Individual allowance (money they stipulate you need per person in your household per week)

It's worked out on your take home pay after NI&tax. Certain amount of savings is ignored, as is child benefit & a certain amount of any maintenance payments from any ex husband/partner (obviously if relivant).

I think I've got the dreaded winter bug, though mine is coupled with feeling starving every 30 mins or so If I don't eat I feel sick & then feel worse.. A bit like being back in the early days of my morning sickness

Although down for an elective c-s I am now wondering how I can overcome the fears/issues & try for a natural delivery.
I love the idea of it all going smoothly & being home 6 hours later - there'a a chance right?!
Beats a week in hospital & weeks recovering..
Not seeing my MW until 7th Jan so will have to wait & talk to her for her opinion then.
Ohh how I wish homebirth was an option, I think more than anything it is possibly the actual hospital that I am scared of

Hope we all feel better for the holidays - only 3 more sleeps as my ds keeps reminding me!

Sorry to hear so many are feeling poorly - hope you all pick up for Christmas.

SweetBroody try not to worry too much, tho easier said than done I know. A couple of threads back there was some discussion about the minimum essentials for baby - not much at all at first - and with NCT sales, ebay, gifts and hand-me-downs it sounds as if doesn't have to add up to as much as you'd think (not that I've started shopping yet). It seems to me it's not much to 'run' a baby in the early months, esp if breastfeeding. Seems to me it's the childcare costs that're the real killer.

Re mat leave, I think they have to assume you're taking the full 12 months and you tell them if you want to come back earlier. I think it's 28 days' notice, so you don't need to decide for ages yet. I'm planning on the full 12 months but if DH's business is struggling I'll have to consider coming back after 9 months.

Right, off to wrap some pressies. Have a nice day everyone

Yes, some people may be eligible for tax credits (we're not as we earn above the threshold)- this tells you if you qualify or not www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx
and this gives the rates for tax credits and child benefit (£20 for first child from Jan 09) www.hmrc.gov.uk/rates/taxcredits.htm

Poor old you cote, sound very rough. Can you get a doctor round to yours to check you out?

Have so far escaped the lurgy, even with my brother visiting with full on man-flu. Now off work for 2 weeks. we took DS sledding up in the mountains just outside Madrid today. It was so sunny and warn I had to take my coat off and reveal my unzipped salopettes to all, gut bursting out!

hope you all take it easy for Xmas. we are lying low abroad. When I was preggers first time, we banned all relies and spent the loveliest day at home just the 2 of us, and went cycling in battersea park. It was a great Xmas!

Cote, sorry you are feeling so rough. Try not to worry about the baby - see if you can get your doctor out to reassure you.

xx

Cote sending big squeezy hugs and I agree you should contact your doc or NHS direct... esp if you're still feverish. Paracetamol is good for lowering temps so stick with that and plenty of fluids like I'm sure you're already doing. A cool bath may also help if you can stand it.

Cote... do you have a neighbour who could do the phoning for you?

Hi ladies - just re child care costs and help - your companies can also opt for childcare vouchers - it costs employers nothing at all. Basically you can "sacrifice" up to £243 each month from your salary which goes into the scheme and you don't pay any tax on this sum - so you save either 25 or 40% depending on your tax bracket. Its well worth doing and both partners can do it as well up to max of £486 per month.

Sorry so many feel so poorly - I'm into homeopathic remedies which are safe for us ladies - chesty coughs are usually treated with Phosphorous 30c but if anyone is going to try it you need to do some research about all your symptons on line as this will affect what you use etc.

Hi ladies, finally were back online. Computer had a massive virus somehow. I'm almost over my cold, which turned to flu, I too had fever for two days, extremely high temp. I took regular paracetamol, and for my very sore throat, the pharmacist told me I was aloud to take glycerin, honey and lemon medicine, so I did and it helped. Although, because I've had a persistent cold for 3 months, the doctor has given me a course of amoxicilin to take.

Had my scan yesterday, all is well. The baby was very active! We saw right up it's nose lol and it kept opening and closing it's mouth which was very close. We definately saw his bits lol sonographer pointed them out lots of times to us, so it's definately a BOY!! Wahey! Were both very excited.

Jael X

Sorry so many of you are ill at the moment - must be horrible.

Thanks to those of you for posting the info on financial help etc - I'll be looking into these. I saw also that the government are going to be giving a grant of £180 to pregnant women due after next April - sorry if this was posted on here in the first place!!

www.hm-treasury.gov.uk/press_123_07.htm

xx

Link doesn't work, but I think it must be this one: www.hm-treasury.gov.uk/press_123_07.htm

I'm intrigued by this - also found the following: www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/Legislation/Actsandbills/HealthandSocialCareBill/DH_08044 9

and this, which suggests that the bill will come into effect 1 Jan 09: www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2008/uksi_20083108_en_1

and this, which says that information for mums to be will be available from Jan 09 and that claim forms will be available from doctors and midwives: campaigns.direct.gov.uk/hipg-stakeholders/index.html

Thanks for posting about this MsG I suspect that we will be amongst the first mums to benefit from this grant, so its good to know about it and make sure we get the information.

Argh - sorry for posting rubbish link - thanks for posting proper one 1stMrsF!

Sounds like we have to go through our midwives to get it, doesn't it?

x

ahh, hope everyone feels better soon.
Cote, can you cancel your dinner? i know it's a big deal but only a day and half away, you're not going to feel up for it and will prob feel worse afterwards.

try not to worry about the baby. i had a high fever at about 15 weeks for 2 days and was worried but baby ok. about food/drink, baby will take what it needs. do call your doctor if this gets worse or persists.

Jael, congrats on your boy and hope you're feeling better. am so ous of the boys on this thread. am 99% sure ours is another girl.

we're not well still. dh stayed home this morn but went back to work (probably quieter in the office than here with us) - was very ous as I'm with achy limbs, headache, stuffy, etc but have to look after clingy girls so no rest or escape.

Sorry - I seem to be using the envy too much, sorry.

Congrats on scans & hope your temp has eased cote. We're just back from our 20wk scan and meet with the consultant...

The really good news is that they are willing to give me a chance of a VBAC by letting me go over my due date... as long as I don't get pre-eclampsia again. Just have to wait and see now...

The sonographer wasn't 100% sure of our little ones sex... but her best view & guess said it looks like we're having a change... bouncing baby girl this time! Both grandmas will be delighted and I was happy whether girl or boy but YAY! We're not telling anyone off here... going to be fun keeping everyone else guessing.

BTW LO heart rate at my last midwife app was slow... 135 to 145 & my gut instinct was girl as I've felt so different this time and craved such different foods to last time...

Fi, happy for your scan and bouncing baby girl .

Spangle, did you see the ptolemy thread? lots of responses, the negative ones prob from jealous people who would love to name their child an unusual name but don't have guts. I think it's a lovely name.

Hello everyone. Thanks for posting the link regarding the financial information, what a nice surprise!

Hope everyone enjoys the holidays. I'm off to brave Waitrose now, wish me luck!