Due May 2009 - our bellies are getting as big as Santa's

[FiKelly]

It'll be an alternative merry Christmas for us this year ;)

Runningmonkey- we're going to Sherwood Forest as its really handy for us (40 mins drive) although i have been to all 4 Centerparcs and enjoyed them all.

Back to work on Tuesday (boo hoo) although i make it 15 more weeks at work which i guess could go quite quickly. I only work 3 day weeks so guess thats only around 45 working days (wow that doesn't sound like much- must get on and do my projects!)

I'm glad I'm not the only one counting down the days! Just 21 days left for me as I'm going at 29 weeks. I can't wait!

llareggub 21 days

I'm back at work tomorrow but I make it 12 weeks until I can finish I intend to stop at 35 weeks - 3 wks annual leave + 2 wks M/L... I have a fairly long commute so I don't fancy working any later than that. In theory 60 days but I also have 4 days' annual leave and might take a day or two flexi leave if I can too.

Had a text from my friend today - she's 8 days overdue & booked for induction on Tuesday. I bought her some Liz Earle body lotion for Christmas and she says it's brilliant for stretch marks & we should all get some. That's all the excuse I need

Morning ladies.
I'm back at work today. I'm not sure what to do about maternity leave and I know I'm supposed to put it all in writing when I'm 25 weeks. Have you all made up your minds what you are doing yet?

I'll probably finish at 38 weeks, just don't know what to do about going back. Do I have to say I might be thinking about wanting 3 days a week when I return or should I leave it that I'll do 5 days as I do now?

loobylou, you don't need to tell them anything about your return to work just yet. In fact, if they agree to reduced hours before your maternity leave then your holidays will accrue during your maternity leave based on your new part time hours not your old full time hours. So stick to your current contract now, if I were you.

I'm going at 29 weeks because I want the full year off and because of the way our annual leave year falls, I can have my year off then tack my accrued annual leave onto the end giving me 13 months or so off work, with the last month being annual leave. I'd also like to spend some time with my son before his life gets turned upside down by the arrival of DS2!

Loobyloo, don't know about the size of your company, but we have an admin form to complete which asks about expected return to work date, whether you expect to return full or part time etc. But as llareggub says, nothing is fixed in stone at this stage (I guess it just helps your boss and company know what your intentions are).

I will be using up my accrued annual leave before I go off on mat leave but plan to take 9 months off and return in Jan 10. I might reduce my hours further on return, as we need to work out how we fit work in between school and nursery drop offs and pick ups!

Thanks llareggub

So I should tell them when I want to finish and when to come back but nothing about changing hours etc? I didn't realise about tagging on accrued leave as well. Our holidays go from April to April, I was planning on finishing mid April and coming back possibly Dec/Jan 2009/10. I feel guilty about leaving them in the lurch as we are a small firm but I have worked here for over 16 years now.

Sorry for all the questions, this is all very new to me, I just don't know what to do for the best.

I also know that like most first time mums I will find it impossible to leave my baby with a nursery of CM and go back to work so will probably want to change my return date.

Looby - You might be surprised. First months of a baby are really hard. After a month or so of sleep deprivation, a screaming baby, cleaning poo and serving as resident cow all day, you might find yourself looking forward to work. (I know I did!) If at work you are used to a bit of intellectual stimulation, or at least adult conversation, it is a shock to the system to have nobody to talk to but a baby all day.

Having said that, I took DD to work after the end of maternity leave (really cool boss!) and fell so in love with her by the time she was 6 months old that I couldn't imagine leaving her with strangers all day, every day. So I quit work.

Moral of the story: If you need to work, arrange for a nursery now and do the transition to nursery in the first couple of months when you've had it with it all

thanks dandylioness I will look at that tonight. I think I am supposed to get a certificate from the MW or doc is it an MA1 or something? Has everyone got one of these yet? Do I ask the MW at my appointment?

Sorry for all the questions - I just want to do everything by the book. My boss has unfairly dismissed 2 people in the last 18 months and been taken to court - I don't want to be No.3!!

Looby- you need a MATB1 form (i think thats what its called) from your MW or GP and need to give it to work by week 25, so make sure you get an appointment booked if necessary (my MW recommended i see her in week 24 for this, and for a general checkup).

With my DD, the first few months were really hard, and i felt sad that by the time she was 6 mo (when i was going back to work) she was so much easier and much more fun rather than hard work. Leaving her at nursery was OK but picking her up was the hardest part as she didn't sleep well there so was generally in tears with tiredness when I collected her so my time with her was just handling a screaming over-tired baby who would fall asleep on her bedtime bottle. I was considering finishing work or taking a career break as it was so hard, but a friend said you both need a month to get used to it, and sure enough, after a few weeks we were both OK and in the new routine. I can't imagine being a SAHM full-time so always look forward to returning to work (part-time). Hard to know how you will feel until the time comes...so keep your options as open as possible without messing your employer about as they need to arrange cover etc too.

PS just been to mothercare sale and got a maternity swimming costume for £6 (was £20) and a pack of 2 nursing bras (yes, I know I wont know my size by then but they will do as maternity bras now) for £7.50 (were £26). Must stop spending! Hope my jojomamanbebe order comes soon!

Hello ladies

I, too, am back at work today. Very interested to read your discussions about maternity leave etc especially as I have just had a meeting with my MD about it. I think I am going to work up to 34 weeks (I worked up to 36 weeks last time but that was hard and like Spangle I have a long commute) which means 26 more days in the office.

Pula I totally agree with the time it takes to settle in to work - at least a month and I think that applies whatever age your DC is. It took me nearly 3 months to settle back last time. I plan to start with 1 day a week and build up to 3 over the first couple of months - fortunately my company is extremely flexible (and I'm a director so I'm able to infulence policy!).

I'm also interested to know what your DH/DPs plan to do about paternity leave, if you've thought about it? DH is a journalist and under pressure to take as little time as possible but if I'm having an elective CS I want him home for as long as possible!

Best get on with some work now! x

Aaargh, maternity leave - what's that? I am self employed and work alone so have nobody to 'hand over' to. So, ahem, it's just me responsible (oh my god) and I've just realised that this might not be as easy as I had previously thought! (Last time I had a baby I also had an employer so did take maternity leave, - although I do remember desperately wanting to go back to work when DD was about 2 wks old - was so exhausted and fed up of the whole thing at that stage that work seemed like an easy option!) Fortunately/unfortunately (?) that turns out to be illegal and I had no childcare options anyway so couldn't and by the time I could I had got over that feeling and quite liked her!

I think DH and I need to have a 'chat' about maybe taking DD2 out of nursery and hiring a nanny or getting an au pair instead or SOMEBODY at least to help to I can do a couple of hours work a day (after the first couple of weeks obviously). That will be an interesting conversation, as from past experience I know that he is likely to bury his head in the sand (as it were) and just insist that we'll cope (or I'll cope which is what he'll actually mean).
Wish me luck.

Oh my god (panicks and runs around like headless chicken)......

And by the way, I am just ENORMOUS. I honestly think I look like I could give birth at any moment. Not fair. Although a friend who hadn't seen me in a while said I was 'very neat'. But then I think she honestly thought I was due in March! (when I reminded her it was May she looked quite startled!!!! and said 'Oh but it's the beginning of May, right?' Er, no the middle .
The up side though is that the baby is very active and it's lovely. But I just yearn to be back in my size 10's again.........could be a long wait, judging by the current size of my arse and boobs. My God. Why can't pregnancy just last 6 months instead of 9 (or really it's 10 isn't it - 40 weeks?). I could just about cope with 6 months.
God am a moany cow. And now I need to hoover up the bits that fell off the Christmas tree when we put it outside. Gah.
Hope everyone is ok. Sorry haven't been on here for ages.

Delighted I am huge. Really, really huge. I cannot bear to think about how big my belly will get over the next few months. And I've just eaten a family sized bag of tangy cheese Doritos which won't help...

Emmalina- I had an elective last time and DH took 2 weeks paternity and 4 weeks A/L- I was really spoilt.

This time he's planning 2 weeks paternity, maybe an extra week A/L or an extra day off a week for a short while (he works 37 hours in 4 days so will be around 1 day a week any way).

It will be much harder this time as I'll have a 4.5 year old and nearly 2 year old with me too, but my inlaws live locally so i can call on them if needed to take the older one(s) out!

My DD and DS also go to nursery 2 days a week and I'm tempted to up it to 3 days a week!

I still havent put much weight on :S I'm 19+3 no significant bump - is that unusual at this stage...

Lots of movement though!

Is anyone else worried that they haven't had much movement? I'm 19+3 today too. Have felt very occasional flutters but it's few and far between... My scan is on Friday and I'm nervous about it, but hopefully that will reassure us.

Not sure when to take maternity leave from - I work from home so no commute but I do work funny shifts and I know it's meant to be harder nearer the end in terms of getting up for wees and harder to sleep... Maybe I can try to work some regular hours, or take leave so I only work 4 days a week for the last few weeks or something.

xx

Hello ladies!

Mind if I join? Have been dipping in and out for past few months but would like to contribute too now!

I'm due on 14th May (anomaly scan this Weds) with my 1st baby. I live in West London, will be giving birth at Queen Charlotte's just around the corner.

Have been feeling lots of fluttery movement myself since boxing day, which is nice. Not really showing yet, but I'm not exactly skinny so it's not suprising!

Planning to work 2 or 3 weeks up to my due date (if I can still bear getting tubes until then), and take 9-10 months maternity leave. DP plans to take 2 weeks off for his paternity leave.

Mrs G -Don't worry I'm sure you will start to feel more and more movement in the next few weeks. My LO has started giving loads of hard kicks in the past 2 weeks (I'm 23 weeks this fri)

Mat leave- When I had DD I finished work at 32 weeks and went back when DD was 4.5 months old which was hard as I was still BFing 5 times a day. I went back 3 days a week for one term then 4 days a weeks from sept (teacher). DD was very chilled so I found leaving her relatively easy. DH looked after her for about 6 weeks then I put her in nursery for 6 weeks while I waited for my lovely CM to have a place and then she has been going to CM since Sept. She did well at nursery and they loved her and looked after her well but my CM is incredible and Anabel loves her so we are very happy.

This time I am going to try to work up till 38 weeks as I'm not going back and this will give me more money. So I have this term and then one week after easter hols to go which is 13 weeks of work.

I'm really looking forward to not going back to work especially while BFing I think I will look for a job of some sort when LO is 12 months or so. But with DD and Lo only 17 months apart the cost of childcare would be £1500 a months at my current rate. So would not be worth going back.

I have rather rambled but the typing is keeping my fingers warm at least.

Hello and welcome Lazzer!

I'm 22 + 6 and have noticed a massive increase in movement and some really obvious kicks just in the last few days. I wasn't feeling much at 19 weeks either. MsG Febes isn't is FREEZING? Our office heating was turned down to 5 degrees over the holidays and it's a cavernous old office - still only 12 degrees in here so we've all got our coats on! Brrrrrrrrr.

I am 20 weeks today, and have only felt regular (ie daily wriggles) movements for the last 2 or 3 days, and with my 1st pg it wasn't until 21 weeks (after my anomaly scan) so I wouldn't worry MsG.

Scan tomorrow- hope i sleep tonight with all the excitement.

DD wants a girl, so that there will be 3 "girls" in the house like her friend sophie - kids eh?