due in jan on the home stretch now!! on the 1st day of christmas my true love gave to me a baby up in a tree,2 babygros,3 teddy bears,4 waddling mummies and five smelly nappies

[tinkisallreadytositonthetree]

hi ladies thought i would be organised and start a new thread

hello ladies,
moosemama - I'm crossing my fingers for your sis. I agree with LenniEd - low energy distractions please lady, you don't want to be overdoing it and being unwell yourself.

mssparkle, the travel shampoos and things are pants aren;t they. I've been a bit cheeky and went into the local aveda showp - got a bottle of nice shampoo for mum's christmas pressie. Then I talked the shop assistant into giving me samples of some shampoo and conditioner for my hosp bag - hopefully I won't need to go in, but it'll come in useful at some point I'm sure!! it is such lovely stuff
Tho oddly, last time, I was in the shower a lot in early stages of labour, and washed my hair with a posh shampoo I'd bought myself as a 'new mum' type pampery reward. I haven't been able to use it since, the smell just takes me back to being in labour. It wasn't a bad labour! but still, I don't want to be transported back there when I'm washing my hair

gawd. I went to a yoga class on Saturday (special pg one, not at all strenuous and usually very chilled). The teacher seemed to want to put her foot in her mouth. metaphorically I mean. she told me I was "a bit woody" (I've never been the most flexible person). I had a bit of groin pain doing some of the 'hip opener' stretches, and she diagnosed spd on the basis of that, and said "yes, it is often the less fit women who get that". I wanted to thump her.

And on a totally different topic - X factor. Does anyone else find the lilt-y Cranberries-style thing Diana does with her voice INSANELY ANNOYING??

don't knock diana spink - we love her and her crazy hands in this house! so glad rachel gone. her voice made me cover my ears. slap the yoga teacher!
mm sounds like they are doing all the right things. sending you and your sis lots of good vibes. i am totally with you on the cleaning front. dh knows its been a bad day if he comes home to me scrubbing something. i suppose its more productive than cigarettes and wine which were the answer in my younger days
ds having a sleepover at granny and grandads so off to ikea tomorrow to get a few house bits. can't wait i'm so excited!
only one response on raspberry tea question. those that have started already are you further on than me? i'm 34 weeks today.

I thought 36 wks was usual advice for raspberry leaf tea... but also thought I'd heard mention that some people had started earlier. With all the BH I've been getting I don't think I'll be going near the stuff for some time yet!

Diana is from relatively near to me - you should see all the posters and things in the shops when you go into Blackburn - absolute madness! Not a fan of any of them really though - not liking the show so much this year, all a bit wannabe with all the glam trips etc. I'm just though!

maybe because my social life is somewhat lacking but i am loving both strictly and x factor. sat night tv with a take away is heaven

Social life? No, I don't know what one of those is DD put pay to that! Mmmm take away... dammit, must move from the sticks, I love chinese but closest decent one is 25 miles away . Am planning on convincing DH to take me out for dinner this week.. will be the most excitment I've had in years

evening

X-factor - couldn't stand Rachel, she just seemed to have such a bad attitude - love diana!

Thanks for the Raspberry leaf tea advice - I thought it was 34 weeks but after all the answers I will check the box before starting! I think it might be 36 weeks but have memories of drinking it at work last time round and stopped work at 36 weeks so not sure....

My day in bed has been great - 1st day off in months!

Afraid i too am a Diana fan!!! But......My OH's friend knows one of the producers...And apparently the whole thing is a fix and JLS have been fixed to win from day one?! Sad if its true.. Time will tell.

My Midwife said she was happy for me to take Raspberry leaf from 32 weeks.... That said, i've only rememmeber to have one cup so far!

Had a rather hormonal Evening! When OH gets home from work (Don't think have ever explained this, but please don't judge me, or use the TERM that is associated with other halfs of his proffession - Anyway OH plays football, proffessionally. He is the captain of a Team in the Championship, i'd rather not say anymore) anyway so he gets home from work & decides that with an important match tomorrow he needs to prepare right...and this means not coming with me to our NCT antenatal class. Now, i DO understand that its so important, especially in his proffession, you can never afford to have an OFF day. Well anyway i just got a bit emmotional, after our class from last week, he wasnt exactly enthusiastic about it, said he hadn't learn anything (despite not knowing anything before he went, so how he can not have learnt, when i did, is beyond me) and is awful at reading the books i've bought him. He just gets a bit bored. He seems to think its all just going to come naturally, or i'll show him something once & that'll be it- him sorted. Well anyways, so during Dinner i got a bit upset and said that i wasnt sure if he was birthing partner material (...bit OTT i know!)as i said i need you to be my mind and my voice when i'm ga ga in labour, and if you don't know whats going on, how are you going to be any help.

Anyway, it all got a bit heated, i stormed upstairs, and ended up leaving for the class without saying another word to him. The class was actually really good, and just confirmed to me that i am aiming for the idea of a water birth, etc.

When i got home he was already in bed..........in the spare room. I snuck in and appologised for being OTT, but explained that my feelings had just come to a head, and i am hormonal and pregnant, and that if he could just make more effort with getting some info into his head. Don't get me wrong, 99.9% of the time he is beyond supportive, he has wanted this baby for Sooooooooooooo long, and i know he will make a wonderful father, very hands on... its just the support in labour i'm a little concerned about. But being pregnant and hormonal i sort of went a bit crackers!

Anyone else had any hormonal induced dramas recently? Or just moi

Don't think skipping Dinner helped either. Am now tucking into bowl of Special K before retiring to bed. Shattered, so praying for better nights sleep tonight.

Good lord re-reading that i sound like such a Drama Queen. I think now not working has given me too much time to dramatize things in my head....

Hi rrray - i had a similar problem with DH last time. Although he doesn't have the excuse of being a professional footballer!

One thing to tell him (this was going to be advice for some 1st timers anyway!) I got so excited when I went into labour I was timimg every contraction, trouble was it 2am! My labour was very standard and went to hospital at 5pm next day, DS was born at 3am. by which time I was absolutely cream crackered and DH had to do all the "midwife management" - which meant he needed to know what he was doing!

Now advice for first timers is
a) don't time ALL your contractions!
b) it will take a while so don't assume once it starts baby will be there straight away
c) not everyone follows the 'textbook' labour patterns (mine were 3-5 mins apart straight away which is why I got so excited!)
d) if its night time take some paracetamol and try to sleep - you WILL need it!

Advice for your DH - he may/will have to make the decisions so he needs to know what's going on!!

morning

miss h -

itis hard getting comfy @ night
i keep getting cramped legs, aching back and bum

hi lenni

spink yes agree about diane on xfactor
yoga teacher doesnt sound very tactful

qumps gd luck with ikea
i watch xf and strictly too i luv my tv

fandb i dint like rach
i want owen to win

rray didnt know that your oh was a professional footballer. ok his job is important but he needs to be there for you as well. hormones can get out of control
glad that you enjoyed class

i worte all my christmas cards last night posting them on the 1st of dec we are putting up decs on sat

blimey very organised tinks. love it when that first card pops through the door.
fbean that was a long time to be contracting. no wonder you were exhausted!
rrayray i can fully apreciate what you are going through. dh was a prof rugby player up until sept and had very similar experiences when i was pregnant with ds. books sat unread on his table for months, he missed nct classes and was due to be playing away on my due date. i used to get so annoyed with him and cry that he wasn't taking an interest. its tough when one persons job takes over a household. anyway have to say as soon as ds put in an apperance he was a changed man. missed v important game for birth, was amazing during labour and knew far more than i gave him credit for. i think he found it difficult when ds was a bump and he couldn't do anything practical. best thing i did was give him daddy jobs and 'pretend' i was hopeless at them, like bathing, so he could feel a bit macho and take over. also that special moment when you take dc to daddys first game is amazing and he will be so proud.
anyway most upsetting about your post is if x factor is fixed!!!
sorry a bit rambly but hope that helps.

I think i's about average - I'm talking about 1st twinge to birth.... so it was 15 hours 1st stage, 24 in all.

I'm a bit worried because i didn't get the chance to time contractions with dd. I was induced and onced the midwife broke my waters, it seemed to from 0 - absolute pain very quickly. I felt so out of control when having dd and i think that was mainly because i had read so much about pregnancy during the pregnancy, but nothing about labour and birth or after the birth so i had no clue what i was doing.

I hope this time things will be different as i know more about whats happening. My midwife said that the reason alot of 2nd time mums give birth at home/in the car is because they leave it too late to go to hospital thinking they have ages to go. It's alot quicker 2nd time around apperently so that's why.

Rrrayray - I do not htink you over reacted, it is very normal for you to want your partner to be part of the process but as Qumos said sometimes men find it difficult to bond with baby with a bump, I would be upset if my husband did not come along with me to the NCT classes, there are two ladies in our class and their husbands are always away on business.....

Tink - you are super organised!

Better go to my midwife appointment otherwise I will be late!

LennieEd, we used to live fairly near to you if you are near Blackburn. We lived in Ightenhill, Burnley until DS1 was 1 then moved back down to the Midlands.

We really miss Lancashire, we could get to Lytham-St-Annes easily to walk the dogs on the beach, or alternatively there was always loads of beautiful countryside to explore. We used to love going to Hebden Bridge to buy all our organic stuff and eco nappies (which were pretty rare in those days). Tbh, we always felt a lot more at home up there than we do here, despite us both growing up here. We often say we're homesick for Lancashire.

Didn't get any news on my sister until 9 o'clock last night, by which time I was going loopy with worry. Apparently there wasn't a specialist avaiable to interpret the scans so they just kept her waiting around all day and then kept her in another night. It seems so far they haven't found anything and are preparing to discharge her. Not getting much info through though as her mobile is flat and her partner is useless. It's good news that they have rued out it being pregnancy related, but I can't believe they are just going to send her home without getting to the bottom of it, especially bearing in mind her recent gynae history.

I hate her living so far away (she moved to Norfolk in the Spring). We have been really bad at keeping in touch since she moved, as she has really poor signal for her mobile and her DP is tight on telephone use. We were pretty close for the first time in years before she went.

Been to the eye hospital with DS2 again this morning. Apparently his eyes are much improved, but still not producing good enough quality tears, so will have to keep giving him the synthetic ones. There is also some damage to the sclera across the front of the eye, which although does look somewhat better since the last appointment is still not better. They are hoping with continuing his eye cleaning and tears regime it will improve over time, but they can't say for sure. Good news is, his actual sight has improved significantly since last time.

Came home to find a note written on the back of one of the envelopes the postman delivered today, saying he had signed for my parcel on my behalf and put it over the back fence! Isn't that illegal? Haven't been out to get it yet, but am seriously hoping its not my lightbulbs or even the kids personalised pencils for their stockings!

Tink, am so jealous of your organisation. Meant to start writing my cards at the weekend but didn't get around to it. Need to start wrapping stuff soon as well and still need to buy crackers.

GTDAB - we need photos of the kitten! Bless, am sure its very cute! Watch the poo though - you shouldn't be touching it when pg as good an excuse as you'll get for not having to clean up!

Rrayray - Can totally understand you being upset and annoyed, DH missed one of our classes (a breastfeeding one fortunately) and I was really cross.

As it turned out DH was a dreadful birth partner and he came to all the labour classes and read all the books - he really wasn't cut out for it at all despite all the preparation and me giving him very basic instructions on the birth plan and what I wanted etc. etc. It might be worthwhile thinking about taking someone else along with you perhaps? In the end I was ok as had a fantastic midwife and just wanted to be left to get on with it myself so it didn't matter that DH was hopeless but if I had really needed him then I would have been up a certain creek sans paddle!

Main issues were that he felt overwhelmed by everything, more so than I did and didn't ask any questions of the midwives and doctors. He also was exhausted (and probably bored TBH) and by the time it got to the end of the labour he was asleep and midwife had to wake him up! That said, he is a wonderful father and husband, and I don't hold it against him, I have just accepted this time that he won't be much use! At the end of the day just because I love him enough to have had children with him doesn't mean he is going to be cut out for dealing with medical people and caring for me during the birth. I have a friend who took her Mum and her DH to her first birth and she said they were both hopeless so don't think it is just confined to men either - her Mum kept telling her she was almost there etc. when she blatently wasn't and she said she found it really annoying and in the end kept sending her Mum to go and make tea for her DH and left them supping hot drinks while her and the midwife got on with the birth!

MsSparkle - I have a real concern about not getting to the hospital in time. It is 45-60mins from where I live and I keep thinking if everything happens quickly will I make it? Last time my waters broke 3 days before so I was in hospital anyway when contractions started but went from first contractions to birth in 12 hours with loads of complications (cord round DD's neck, absolutely no progress for first 8hrs and loads of other stuff so actually I was only dilating for about 3hrs and pushing for 1hr) so am thinking if this one is straighforward then baby could be here quite quickly. Am sure I'll recognise the early signs quicker though so wil be straight in the car but am having nightmares about giving birth in the car.

Tink - am very impressed with your organisation. Have to admit - put my tree up last night postman thinks I'm a loon - sure the neighbours would if we hd any!

MM - we are also in East Lancs - close to the N. Yorks border on the edge of the Dales. I'm not from here originally but consider it my home, I absolutely love the place. As you say there is so much nearby to see and do and the countryside is really beautiful - I think it is underrated really when you consider how people go on about the Lakes and other areas, and yet we have some fantastic countryside on our doorstep with the fells and Pendle and the coast.

Glad your DS2's eyesight has improved and your sister is (hopefully) ok. I live a long way from some of my family too and find it hard to keep up with their lives. If I could move them all near me I would but I've come to accept it now really.

MsSparkle - I'll keep my fingers crossed that this iron stuff works as quick then - have maybe seen a bit of an improvement today. Thanks for letting me know. It isn't doing my digestive system much good though

LenniEd, funny thing was, we didn't really miss our families when we were up in Lancashire. It was lovely having DS1 to ourselves for a whole year as well. I suppose we've become closer to them since moving back and would miss them a lot more if we moved away again.

I'm frantically shoving ready to eat organic apricots down my neck and drinking loads of orange juice as well as adding broccoli and spinach to every meal and religiously taking my floradix at the moment in the hope the mw won't put me on the dreaded pills. (She threatened me with them if I didn't improve my dietary intake as I was borderline.) After all my digestive problems in the first trimester I really don't want to go back there. I think it is starting to work, as feel every so sightly less tired today despite going to hospital and back.

Forgot to say, woke up this morning with my sacro-illiac (sp?) completely locked up and sticking out at an odd angle. I literally couldn't move, I was stuck on my left side in absolute agony. It totally freaked DH out, but he bravely massaged the muscles around it and eventually it freed up and went back into place. Its happened before, but nowhere near as badly. DH has now made me promise to go to the osteopath and 'be put back together' after the birth.

Thanks for all your posts ladies, am feeling much better about things today. I think it was just a tough line to walk... his career is very important, but also so is the birth of our baby. I think the message has got through to him that i'm feeling lacking on the emmotional support front.

Qumps Thanks for your post, its lovely to hear from someone who has had a proffessional sports player as an OH. I know like you said, once she arrives he is going to be an unbelievable daddy. i think its a classic situation of the saying "a mother becomes a mother when she falls pregnant and a father a father when the baby is born." i guess they just don't feel the connection and anxieties that we do.

Have to say, didn't mention OH's proffession previously, as i absolutely hate the term WAG. it doesn't apply to 99% of the women who end up dating footballers. OH and i have been together since he was a spotty Youth team player & i was still at sixth form. At that point in time, i actually earnt more from my fri/sat waitressing job than he did all week! We are very lucky in that when i graduated (with my FIRST class degee in surveying- not many Wags have that!!!) we decided that our little family was more important that establishing my carreer right now. esp as its surveying i'm qualified in, and with the current property market, jobs may have been harder to come by. So i get to be a stay at home Preggers & Mummy for the time being, that said, its taken until now to get everything sorted with the move we just made in january. Just re-read that, sounds like a total Rant... i just get VERY pee-ed off with the whole Term WAG... Yes, a few girls are like that, but they give the rest of us a bad name!!!!!

periwink how did the midwife go?

LenniEd having someone else present is sort of what i threatened last night. but at the end of the day there really isn't anyone else i want involved. i wouldnt want either my mother, or his, or any of my best friends really. i'm very keen for it to be just him and i... so i guess i'll have to make an alarmingly clear birth plan and pray that everyone else reads it. I'm also very confident about the midwives at the birthing centre i'm planning to birth at, they are absolutely fantastic, so thats an encouragement!

No, I wouldn't want anyone else there either - I considered a doula briefly but then when I thought through my last labour I realised a doula would have not helped because I just wanted to be left alone. And this time of course DH knows what to expect so will be less horrified. In fact he made me watch a birth on tv the other night and he was rivetted to the screen, I meanwhile was squirming for it to be over. Last time I was pg I enjoyed watching those birthing programmes - I guess once you've done it the fascination ends and you'd rather not be reminded of some bits!!

rrrayray - as a footballer I bet he's very competitive on and off the field, so it's pretty likely that he will excell as a birthing partner when the moment comes.

First time round my DH's involvement in my pregnancy mainly consisted of sorting out the baby's car seat, but he was great when I went into labour.

rrayray agree totally with having the right person there. dh left me for 5 minutes to move the car and those were the most painful 5 minutes of the whole labour. in my experience dh main job was to support and hold my hand and nothing else too complex. he knew i wanted an epidural (that was my birth plan in big letters- went down a storm at nct not!) and when i had a freak out during transition he begged for one for me. very well remembered i thought despite the fact i was saying no i didn't want one and he kept asking me if i was sure! he was amazing when it all went pear shaped at the end and went off to scbu with ds. i was so glad my mum was in waiting room though as never been so happy to see her and she held me up in the shower. agree wag a very generically used term. obviously the world of rugby not quite so glam but still get tarred with same brush. i too have a first from uni!
gtdab saw your party bag dillema on another thread. agree with all comments that cake and balloon the way to go. i think a kitten is fab. is that your dc's birthday pressie?
fymandbean i was 4hrs 30 from established labour so yours sounds like forever to me! i too am slightly worried that if i do go into natural labour this one will fly out. heard funny stories about people naming their child sierra or clio after giving birth in their car.... main concern is if i am out and about with ds and what will happen to him. dh still away so have told all family to leave phones on all night just incase. as well as raspberry tea a friend told me that clary sage in your bath and mixed with your bio oil is menat to help with labour and not going overdue. anyone tried it? no idea when to start using. will have a google after this.
lennied agree had birthing channel on all the time first time round but can't even look at pics in book now, especially c setions.
moosemama can't believe what a torrid time you are having. glad sis seems ok. good thing about sisters is that no matter how often you speak you have a special bond so you will always be close in some way. hope back feeling better. you must be due some good luck your way.

My DH absolutely hates being my birthing partner, but is doing it anyway. He was totally traumatised by DS1s highly medicalised birth and shocked at the speed of DS2s arrival. My sister had said she would do it this time, but sadly not possible now.

Mum definitely not an option, lovely as she is and full of good intentions, she would be a complete nightmare and we would end up having to look after her, lol. She insisted on arriving half way through last time and then went on about how tired she was and remained glued to the rocking chair for the entire time I was at home. She then proceeded to stay up all night while I was in hospital (Lord knows why) and got up and walked out straight away when I brought him home without even looking at him. I then didn't see her for 14 days as she was 'too exhausted'!

Actually she has just thrown a hissy fit and stormed out of my house slamming the front door behind her. All because she was trying to tell me how to hang a curtain pole (advice I neither asked for or needed), while I was trying to do literacy homework with DS1 and I had the gall to say "Its ok Mum, we've already measured up, we'll be fine, we've hung loads of curtain poles in the past" (I left home twenty years ago fgs). Irony is, she said she was coming round to make sure the boys behave as she knew I'd be too tired to cope with stroppy kids. She means well but is either too full on or non-existent, iykwim.

Ah well, at least my boys no longer believe Grandma is perfect! They both said, "Mommy, why is Grandma being so rude?" (I told them she was tired, but truth is its pretty much par for the course these days.)