Due Dec 08 -- Getting Ready for final push (in every sense!)

[Beans33]

Here's a new thread for us all lovely Dec Mums!

turnip- tell her to ignore HV her little bub should be being monitored by a paediatrician, or even a neonatologist, they are experienced with premmie babies and will do adjusted age assesments as well as routine auditory and visual assessments that need to be done for premmie babies. As a way of reassurance though i have looked after babies who were 24-26 weeks premie and needed oxygen at home for ages and their outcomes have been really good. I never forget being present for one of my babies final appointments when he was 18months old after being born at 24 weeks, being in NICU for ages then O2 at home and just having so much intervention. He was wandering around the assessment room smiling and playing while the Doctor the mum and i were in tears, so happy at how well he had done.

oh and the people in Birmingham should have referred her to someone in ireland. I know things are quite different there and i'm not sure how much of the care is free, but her baby should get the right care, and i'm sure for her it would be free. But tell her not to worry, she will see a Doctor who is experienced in developmental assessment for babies.

veggie that's just lovely. A lady on another forum I use has a baby who came at about 28 weeks who is a year old now and doing so well. Turnip she's quite right about your SIL, they should be working on a different timescale for an early baby.

Some cheerier news after this morning's window rant - a lady at work has just confided in me that she's 10 weeks with twins (but shhh, don't tell anyone you guys!)

and my head of dept has said they're doing a little collection for us and the baby as a ML pressie, and to think about what would we like? We've been shopping for lots of the boring stuff but would love some frivolous toys/clothes etc - the kind of stuff we'd not buy ourselves. What would you ask for if you knew people were going to buy you a new baby pressie or two?

i got some brilliant ML pressies (thats what i will miss this time) my work got a mix of practical stuff, like muslins, dummies and vests and also cute toys and silly cutsey clothes that i loved but probably wouldn't have spent the money on. they also got me some bath and soaps and oils for bath time pampering which was really lovely too. A lot of the ladies in my dept had had babies so were quite good at knowing what to buy.

Oh Veggie, you had my eyes pricking up with tears with that story...it is amazing how little and fragile they can seem, but so tough too!

Sorry not have done any proper catching up lately, but have been reading about you all.

Would say welcome cat - I'm another one in north London, N2.

pixsix - having things go wrong in a move while you're feeling hormonal must be horrible - hope it gets sorted and forgotten quickly. My DH is insane when it comes to these things. Last time moved, the movers finally finished about 10pm at night (long boring story, 3 rounds of movers). DH then decided it would be a good idea for us to go to Ikea some bits and pieces we needed...never again.

jump - houses really are money pits? Our windows are due to be done week after next and am dreading how they find some way to add to the enormous amount of money we're already spending...

Am staggeringly tired today (combination of a few late nights and general pregnancy insomnia), so really struggling through the day. Thank goodness for health and safety gone mad! Our fire warden just came round to my office to say that there would be a top secret fire drill tomorrow at 10am, but they were warning the pregnant ladies to make themselves scarce beforehand as they didn't want to be responsible for us tumbling down the stairs or some such...anyway it means a lie in (or more realistically a more leisurely trip in to work tomorrow) as they said don't bother to show up until after 10 - hooray!

Thanks Veggie. That is very reassuring!! And such a lovely story about the little boy you helpedShe is a consultant herself - but when her little baby is concerned just turns into a regular mother. In some ways she seems LESS well equipped to deal when health visitors, other doctors etc say silly things, coming from a medical background. The baby has been seen by a paediatrician in the hospital over there but I think for some reason it's this woman who does tests etc. I will pass my SiL the content of your post though if that's OK.

Grrr, just had the most ridiculous argument with (D)H about him not setting up a standing order to pay electricity bill which ended up with him putting the 'phone down on me - very mature. And I thought it was us women who were supposed to be hormonal and unreasonable. Not very good at not having the last word, but hell is he going to get it when he gets home. Although I'll probably be asleep by then!

Afternoon!!!! Hope you are all ok...had a catch up but got usual zero levels of retention for information!!!!
Did manage to note down to say hello to catdean and welcome!!
Also, thank you turnip for the inspiring post on how 2 kids is easier than toddler plus pregnant! I am knackered and feeling scared!

Take That musical was brilliant last night...I was crying with laughter, dancing in the aisles and enjoying alot of men in scantily clad dancing gear!!!! There is some serious fodder for you lusting girls if you can get yourselves down to the Savoy Theatre!!!

DH and I are well and truely back on track. Lots of soppy 'I love you, I hate arguing' texts the next day and I have just been in to London for the dentists and we met for lunch which was lovely. Also out for dinner tonight (stuffed emoticon) as it is my dads 60th birthday! He's being picked up from home in a vintage (or is it just old?!?!!) Ferrari and being taken for a drive and then dropped to the restaurant where all the family will be waiting for him! He knows nothing and it is sooooo hard keeping secrets!

On a sad and horrible note, I too have been trying desperately to avoid anything about that poor precious tiny child. I read the opening sentance in the paper today and threw it across the train carriage with tears in my eyes. DO NOT READ ANYTHING.

Final thing...to lift the mood...I came home to find a present from my Secret Stork!! It is lovely so thank you very much oh secret one!!!! Looking forward to using it very much!

xx

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Hi all,

I'm shattered again today - days off now though - yay.
LadyT I'm a little needlephobic, so have been in a panic about my section for some time now (despite elective!) I have therefore grilled DH since he's in the biz.I have no experience to speak of - infact i've never even had an op before! But apparently the spinal block (which you have for CS) is much nicer than epidural. If they do a proper / thorough local first you shouldn't feel the spinal at all. Aparently the IV in hand can be worse. I'm asking for the Entonox before the local and will def make sure catheter in after! I'm also going to ask for Ametop on both bits before the local (since I'm such a woos & much to DH's embarrasment!) and have threatened to put it on myself at home (Ebay) if they refuse due to timing etc! (also much to DH embarrasment!) Apart from that, I've heard from previous friends experience that it's not bad at all, and if you take Arnica 48 hours before / after it really helps healing. Also going to try and get this super duper take home constant feed 5 day drip pain killer stuff if I can which my friend had after hers in the US - apparently its Fab DH is dreading my appointment the day before the section with the Anaesthetist I'm sure!

I really only skim read! Welcome to Catdean
Not sure where u live but check out the meet up thread? ladyT hope you can make it after all

good for you K...those who don't ask!!

KMP - sounds like you've got it all under control! I can confirm that the IV can be worse than the epidural. You might want to keep DH away while they do it. The house officer who did mine happened to recognise my sister who was with me at the time and was also a doc at that hospital. The house officer had such performance anxiety that it took her about 3 goes to get the IV in and my sister eventually had to leave the room so she could do it without getting flustered. But really, none of it is that bad.

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Hi Cat curry of itself won't bring on labour (otherwise millions of Indian ladies would all have their babes VERY early I guess ).
Sometimes if you body is just about ready to go in any event, irritating the bowel a little bit (as a good hot curry will do) - can just get things going.
So don't worry! (as someone who had a curry the night before DD was born, I can heartily recommend avoiding it - the runs and contractions (sorry - surges!!) don't mix well IMO!!)

Only things to actually avoid at this point are - castor oil, double nipple stimulation for extended periods , reflexology and clary sage on certain pressure points...can't think of anymore....

Will try and find you the meetup link. There is a topic heading solely devoted to Meet-Ups.

oli so glad you enjoyed Take That - The Musical. I looooove them and so am very jealous. YOur Dad's birthday celebrations also sound fantastic. Hope he (and you) have a super night. And well done on kissing and making up!

Jump I am so cross for you - meant to say earlier. Old houses, eh. And builders. You always are left with the distinct impression they are sticking the arm in. Best to leave it til they are gagging for wrok next year and get some competative quotes! How lovely about your friend at work!

KMP I am mucho impressed at your knowledge of all matters pain relief related! Go for it. One of the best things I had second time round was some liquid local Anaesthetic that the m/w gave me on the QT for subsequent application to my stitches down below. SOOOO much better than bloody paracetamol I must say.

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Hi All

So much to catch-up on!

LadyT - I have no experience of c-sections but I have had a spinal for an ankle operation. I was dreading it but I did not feel a thing. Also I did not see a thing as it was all going on behind me. I had an epidural for DD and that was another story, but never fear, it was problematic because I was having contractions and could not keep still - not a problem you will have with a planned c.

Invisable - I too found the IV one of the worst parts of labour! I still have scars on teh back of my hand from all the stabbing!

Oli - glad you and your DH are back on track . I too am avoiding the media coverage of the abuse case .

CatDean - Hello and welcome from another London mum.

Turnip - I am at how your SiL has been treated. I really am. A friend of mine had her DS at 32 weeks at the same time I had DD. For about 9 motnhs he seemed a bit behind and she was worried. Then sudenly he caught up and he is not one of the most chatty active little boys that DD knows.

I am happy to report I am happier than when I posted yesterady morning. I managed to pull mysekf together and had a very productive day at work which made ML seem more possible. I talked to by boss and agreed to leave next Wednesday (OK its not as good as this Friday but I can't say no!).

A weird thing happened to me today. For the last few weeks I have been dreaming about the partner I had before DH. We had a very intense relationship and in my dreams he suddenly seemed quite alluring again (I blame the pregnancy hormones). I was shocked by the dreams as I am really, really happy with DH and never think of my ex. We lost contact 3 years ago. Then today I get an e-mail from him saying he is at my office and do I want to meet for lunch. I was so shocked. Anyway I dug out my old make-up and did myself up a little and went and met him. It was brilliant because it totally cured me of all curiosity - there was no fizz, no special connection, it was perfectly pleasant but that was all. I was not even concerned that he was seeing my in such a fat state! I am sure now that the dreams will stop - but what a weird coincidence of timing.

I really can't type

Turnip that was nice of the m/w giving you that!! Loving her!

With this needlephobia kind of thing - well with me anyway, it's not at all a pain issue - i'm trying to get all the pain relief stuff basically so I don't get 'reminded' that it's a needle if you see what I mean. I def do what pain relief - don't get me wrong, but most people think the Ametop and all that is cause I can't handle any pain but it's really to avoid the feeling of it being a needle! Gosh Invisible that'd be awful what happened to you with your sis being recognised!! I want my DH to do it himself as the only time I'm ever not passed out (or started the process) is when he has taken my blood. he's always used a butterfly and had no issues - said my veins are really small - i've had loads of issues with some docs going back and forth swapping arms etc when they can't find veins - oh i'd love to be able to get over it as I actually hate the process of passing out more than the actual needle these days. I'm getting better though - it's so stupid, but I always have to tell people it's not the pain - but more the 'thought' of the needle itself which is really hard to explain - i'm actually feeling woozy typing this!
right on to other things - here's the meetup thread meetup

KMP the only prob with ametop is it may make your veins a teeny bit smaller, bu if it gets you through it then fine. Are you have it privately or on the NHS. If you are having it on the NHS i would just tell them straight that you are needlephobic and insist that at minimum a registrar does your IV otherwise they might get someone who is not very experienced.

Arti that is weird about your ex.

Turnip any other questions your SIL has just ask i don't know everything but have looked after a few neonates after they are discharged into the community.

and Invisible, when DS was having his TB shot (tower hamlet baby) the community registrar asked what i did i told her, the role i had then included co-ordinating immunisation campaigns and even teaching doctors how to give immunisation, the poor women went white and started shaking, amazingly she managed to still get the needle just under the skin as it should do, but i was surprised that my saying what my job title was managed to scare her so much. these people are supposed to be able to deal with emergency situations

Turnip - if it's any reassurance for your SIL my dd was 10 weeks prem and is fine! She was 'slow' in reaching her milestones (ie, didn't crawl till 1st birthday...) and 'failed' her first hearing test but there is so much difference in all kids anyway that the normal range is huge! She passed her later hearing test and was 'equal' with her peers by the age of 2 if not before. I used to get upset by people's comments about her when I was out and about - someone in a cafe once asked me how old she was, and when I said 4 months, they said " oh, she can't hold her head up on her own very well, can she?"!!! I was so upset but my HV told me to lie to people! She had a point - no-one needs to know or has the right to know about your kids anyway so I could have said she was 1 week old and very advanced!!! Anyway - she's now 4 and is big and strong and clever and sociable(even if I say so myself!). I think it's hard when you're ' in the know' as well - I'm a paediatric nurse but found it impossible to make objective, rational judgments about things - my nurse head was over-ruled by my neurotic first time mum head and I handed most of our decisions over to DH (completely un-medical). In fact when she was in SCBU I was so terrified I couldn't even change her nappy - even tho I'd worked with neonates before! Your SIL is a mum now and will probably go through the medical v. maternal head thing every time her DC is ill - I know I do!!! Hope she is getting support form someone other than her useless-sounding HV!

Turnip-will have to warn DH about the extended bilateral nipple stimulation.

Arti How strange about your ex, what wierd timing. YAY for sorting out ML.

A very good friend of mine on MN is in hospital again tonight. She is 32 weeks and has signs of Pre-eclampsia. She was in Monday night as her baby's heartbeat was erratic and now she is in again as she has felt no movements. It's really worrying, I feel so sorry for her.

oh Kayz that is so worrying, will be thinking positive thoughts for her.

Arti that is so odd about your ex! Glad you aren't posting to say...and then I decided I would run off with him and he would take on my DC etc. Bizarrely I went through a phase about 8 weeks ago about dreaming about one ex of mine every night for about 5 nights. It was most odd (i am sure there is some evolutionary reason for it - can't think what). Roll on next wed

Cat sorry to be so vague about location of meet-up thread (hope you didn't think I was being facetious). I am not on it and so didn't have it to hand - and hadn't realise that there were quite so many meetups on the meetup topic (If you see what I mean - must be something to do with xmas coming up). KMP kindly linked it below.

Trace that is so reassuring about your lovely DD. It's so true about the medical/mother head thing - and my SiL is really struggling. She has been housebound since returning to Dublin about 6 weeks ago (as she went to the children's hospital and insisted they run a vast gamut of tests - even though she had been given all clear by the paeds in Birmingham - but she wanted to put her mind at rest. She was then told all fine - except white blood cell is at the lower end of normal and was advised not to go out and a repeat a week ago was much the same.) So - she is 12 weeks into her maternity leave and hasn't had so much as a coffee out with her baby, or a stroll round the shopping centre. I really feel for her.

Kayz I really hope all well for your MN friend. How worrying!

Veggie thanks for all the help. I will see if SiL has any specific Qs. I read about the double nip stim thing in Marie Mongans book. The things you never knew before, eh!

I am really worried about my friend I mentioned got a positive pg result on her first IVF attempt a couple of weeks ago. She was due her scan this am - and I haven't heard a word plus she she didn't pick up on her mobile. She is so calm and collected but will be devastated if something wrong. Hoping it's maybe shock of twins....

traceface- i can't believe someone said that. how strange people are to make comments like that after seeing a baby for a few minutes. the lie about age is good i have actually been considering telling random people who ask (i.e. people i don't know) that i am 4 weeks further on than i am as i am so sick of people saying how large i am.