Due Fab Feb 2009 - here comes the easy peasy (?!) wee-wee sneezy third trimester (if you please, no baby arrivals on this thread)

[dinkystinky]

Here's our sparkling new thread and the latest list - have stuck Munteria at the end (Munteria, just put in your details)

TinkerbellesMum DC3 (3rd baby. Lily-Hope born 20 weeks 28-29/9/05, Tink born 31 weeks 17/7/06, age 27, Birmingham) Official due date 01/02/09 but expected from early December
florrieandme DC2 26/01/2009
laidback DC4 27/01/2009 (age 34, North Devon)
nkweto DC2 30/01/2009 (age 34, West London)
oooggs DC4 30/01/2009 (age 34, Cornwall)
MamaGoose DC3 30/01/2009 (age 32, Spain)
MissMitford 31/01/2009
Plethora 31/01/2009 (age 37, East London but moving soon)
Ethelredtheunready (age 40, 2nd Baby, Tilly born 19/2/06, DC2 01/02/2009- Currently Chichester, soon to be Epping)
AngelDoll DC1 01/02/2009 (age 31, Sheffield)
Supersteph DC2 01/02/2009 (age 24, Torbay)
jenandbean DC2 02/02/2009
ruthmollymummy 02/02/2009
plantsitter 02/02/2009
idontbelieveit DC2 02/02/2009 (age 31, Leeds)
Tummytrouble 03/02/2009
Questionkid DC1 3/2/09 (age 33, living in Wallington, Surrey)
jamescagney 03/02/2009 (aged 33,Clare, Rep of Ireland)
Pregnantpopcornprincess DC3 04/02/2009 (pregnant with twins)(age 31, West Sussex)
MsLucy Boy 04/02/2009 (age 38, North London)
PinkTulips DC3 04/02/2009 (age 24, Roscommon, Ireland)
Davidsmom DC2 04/02/2009 (age 39, Cheshire)
MissDelighted DC1 05/02/2009
m2alyssa DC2 05/02/2009 (age 30, Isle of Man)
Jelliebelly DC2 06/02/2009 (age 37)
Swampster (HasAWarmFuzzy) 06/02/09 (age 40, south London)
Gettingbigger 06/02/08
Guitargirl DC2 07/02/2009
Aila DC2 07/02/2009
Littlemissnorty DC2 08/02/09 (age 39, Kent)
Biscuitytrousers 08/02/2009 (age 31, Thames Ditton)
MarkStretch DC2 07/02/2009 (age 29, Norfolk)
KT1983 09/02/2009
Tinasan DC2 09/02/2009
Herbgarden 09-11/02/09 (age 38 Berkshire)
Ewemoo 07/02/2009
Singingintherain DC3 10/02/2009
KazzaL DC2 10/02/2009 approx (age 34, Ciren, Gloucs)
littleboyblue DC2 due early-mid Feb (age 27, Surrey)
Jenniferturkington DC2 11/02/2009
thehouseofmirth DC2 11/02/09 (age 38, Wimbledon)
Clarabumps DC2 12/02/2009 (age 27, Glasgow)
BumpVLump 12/02/09 (age 29, Surrey)
Louisebunny 13-15/02/09
Mapleleaf 13/02/2009 (age 38, Cambridge)
Nadssss 13/2/9 (age 29, living w. london)
Jelliebaby DC2 14/02/2009 (AGE 29, Cheshire)
Loopylula DC2 14/02/2009 (age 28, Sussex)
Dinkymum DC2 14/02/2009 (age 28, Notts)
Francesrivis 15/02/2009 (age 38, Devon)
onwardandupward DC2 second week of Feb (age 35, south west)
Americas 16/02/2009 (age 32, London)
MrsThreads DC1 16/02/2009 (age 36, Cheshire)
shubiedoo DC3 17/02/2009 (age 37, Canada)
Pluto DC2 18/02/09 (age 38, Kent)
CassandraB DC1 18/02/09 (age 35, Hampshire)
Catstar DC2 18/02/09 (age 35, Surrey)
Ugg first baby due 18/02/09 (32, Cheshire)
Fruitstick DC2 19/02/2009 (age 32, London)
Imaginewittynamehere DC2 19/02/2009 (age 32, Cambs)
McDreamy DC3 19/02/2009 (age 37, Cyprus but will give birth in Bucks)
Dinkystinky DS2 19/2/09 (age 31, London)
DizzyBrummie DC2 17/02/2009 (age 36, Berks)
Rachrox DC3 20/02/2009 (age 28, Glos also!)
Calico1 DC2 21/02/2009 (age 40, West Herts)
Mentalpup DC2 21/02/09 (age 30, Glos)
Rosieposey DC4 21/02/09 (age 36, Wilts)
mrsy first baby due 22/02/09 (24, Maidstone, Kent)
scubagroover 22/02/09 (31, London)
Winemakesmummyclever 23/0/09 (age 34, Lancs)
Neeerly3 DC3 23/02/09 (age 32, Mansfield)
Mirry71 DC1 23/02/09 (london)
LardyBump 24/02/09
Spottyshoes DC2 24/02/09 (aged 28)
Chilledmama DC2 25/02/2009 (age 31, Hampshire
dd1ofcolandgerry DC2 25/02/2009
Cocodrillo DC3 26/02/2009 (age 34, south london)
MrsBick DC2 26/02/2009 (Age 25, living in Surrey)
charlie7 DC2 28/02/2009 (Age 33, living in the Inner Hebrides)
Babyignoramus DC1 27/02/2009 (age 27, Brighton)
Mumoverseas DC4 28/2/2009 (age 40, Saudi Arabia/West Sussex)
Blinamouse
Elkiedee
Nellstar TBC
zikel DC2 TBC (23, Coventry)
theSuburbanDryad DC2 (age 26, living in South Bucks)
Munteria DC2 (38,London)

Good Idea about asking my mum to come after DP has gone back to work.
I think that would work - il just have to put it gently that she wont get to meet her Grandaughter the second she arrives in to the world

Can imagine il get some phone calls at very crucial moments during the labour like most of you seem too!

dinkystinky - Happy birthday!!

nadsss - your baby will not wake up if you move it! being in your belly is v v noisy but if you tip-toe round it once it's born, then you'll train it to need absolute quiet and complete calm which then makes your life hard.

laidbackinengland - your post really made me laugh re. your mum walking in during the third stage!!

i'm not close to my mum at all but she's coming out a week or so before i'm due so she can be around to help with my other two esp as living overseas so have no other family around/down road etc. i think it's different if you've got house-space and other children already. but she might drive me mad. and i might have to boot her out for the day if i decide to have a homebirth again!

I definatly am eating more than before I got pregnant - so perhaps my metabolism is just faster in pregnancy.

I think perhaps some midwives are a little bit 'old skool' and dont assume that its not normal to have little weight gain.

However, I have 3 long months to go....and the Christmas season ooohh...mince pies ...so I could be back on here in a month or so telling you all what a great big lump iv become!

okayyy so the baby sort of sticks to the bath thing ? great idea ? I am going to get one tonight and sate some of those shopping urges! Will resist thermometer and rely on my hand? Thank you. Thought I?d just chuck the baby in the bath with me or DH every night but was slightly worried about the supporting head aspect of it ? this thing should solve that.

Dinky ? you are st mary?s padd, aren?t you? Did you see the news stories about the birth centre? Hoping this means they will be uber-careful by the time we come to it but was a bit of a worry.

KT ? I prescribe you pizza, curry and cake for the weekend. I think your metabolism does go up though - apparently we process carbs v quick.

Mamagoose ? thanks for advice ? we should make a bit of noise then so the baby can sleep with, say, the radio or telly on in the other room?

What about light ? if the baby is in our bedroom asleep from 7 (I know this is unrealistic!), could we have the lights on really low when we come to bed at 10/11 o? clock and then we could read for a bit? Or is this unrealistic!?

I think I am over-thinking all this in a slight panic of not really knowing anything about babies!

My DD slept through anything...and still does. During the day she would sleep downstairs in a travel-cot with barking dog, TV etc etc and we would take her up asleep at the same time we went up (PFB and all that)....it wasn't until I went back to work that she went up at bedtime and we had the evening to ourselves....now I can't wait for 7pm

Babies sleep in the car, buggies, highchairs, bouncers, on the floor, anything.....I don't do this shut door and darkened room stuff (well not for littlies anyway).

ooooh NAPPIES, KazzaL - I could talk till the cows come home but sadly I'll have to wait till I get home as I'm in the orifice office for my one day a week - just put DS2 back in cloth at two and a quarter (stopped when we moved house and he was six months) - he quite likes it.

Happy Birthday Dinky. Hope you've had a fab day!

nadsss it's natural to think/worry about logistics and baby care but you will find your own way once your baby is here. As far as sleep is concerned in my experience of DS and my friend's babies they really vary but generally will sleep/not sleep regardless of anything you do or don't do so there's no point in stressing about it! As far as space is concerned, don't forget the guidelines are for at least 6 months in parents' room so it doesn't mean you have to move out then. If you all sleep well together (though some babies are really, really noisy in their sleep - DS used to sound like Darth Vader !) then there are many advantages to having your baby nice and close at night time.

We were in a 1 bed flat when DS was a baby and it was fine. Until I mastered BF lying down and realised you don't have to change nappies so often at night time I used to move into the living room when he woke so we didn't disturb DH. We had a dimmer switch on the light and I'd leave drinks and snacks out on the coffee table before I went to bed. I used to watch hours of Desperate Housewives while feeding DS!

I know you really want to buy stuff but just to let you know tiny babies do not need a bath very often anyway and once they do, they really will be happy in the bath with you or DH so you could save the space for all the tonnes of plastic crap toys you will rapidy accumulate despite your best intentions!

Thanks THOM. Not been too bad thanks. Caused a stampede with the donuts earlier

Nadsss - yes, have seen that about St Marys. Its worrying but the hospital I gave birth to DS at had much more worrying stats - think the fact its a brand new birth centre means it is having more publicity about it. Please try not to worry about it unduly.

Oh and re babys - DS was such a horribly light sleeper for first 3 months we were tiptoeing around him all the time. Then at 4 months he miraculously became a sleep through anything baby (including drilling outside his bedroom door!) - it'll all come together in a way that works for you guys.

Nadsss my ds was a really light sleeper too and still is - my sil can't believe that you can go into his room and check on him and he'll stir - when she was babysitting for us she popped in to make sure he was ok - he's a nightmare if we go away and have to have him in our room with us so you might not get one who sleeps like the living dead. Sorry !!!

Hello everyone I am back.........

Can some kind lady fill me in on any news from the last week please!!!

Hope you are all well and dandy. I am having a few pelvic pains but apart from that I am fine and dandy...

Thanks everyone ? it has been so nice to have the chance to sit at work on the internet today! I actually thought most babies would stir if you went in the room so I?m pretty pleased there is a chance that I might get a heavy sleeper who will sleep through anything! I can?t believe it all about to happen (well ? in 13 weeks-ish) and that we all have viable babies now. I also can?t believe when I look down at my massive bump that I thought I had a big tummy at 13 weeks!

Happy birthday dinky! Thanks for the donuts (I decided to make the imaginary ones real, yum)

I've been a crappo new member but excuse is that most of our belongings have ended up squished in the spare room while we decorate three rooms simultaneously. Wasn't supposed to work that way! However, this does mean for the moment our heaps of DVDs/books/CDs/assorted crap are all hidden away and I am enjoying a minimalist flat, albeit one without computer.

Am making up for it by completely slacking at work and MNing instead, yippee.

Sounds like people's weeks have got a bit better from Monday's rubbishness. Any joy on getting the heating fixed, Pinks? Also enjoying hearing talk of how to fit babies into little flats - we have two bedrooms which is relative luxury so I'm going to stop moaning! TBH, I'm more concerned about how our downstairs neighbours are going to take to the noise (we can actually hear them snoring from our bedroom!)

Fingers crossed for everyone having various jabs and health issues. I had a consultant appointment this week but touch wood, I'm as average as can be, it's because I had two early mc's last year which means they're keeping an eye.

Anyway, I'm blithering on without anything to really add; just thought I'd be sociable!

Not been too parpy, but I do belch with such unrestrained glee that DH's nickname for me is Barney, as in the drunk guy in the Simpsons...

I saw one of ds's nursery friends whose mum is pregnant at our toddler bounce this morning - she was due on monday - she's a very similar height and build to me she has a hhuuuuuge bump. I feel enormous at the moment so really not looking forward to the last few weeks.....otherwise she looked fantastic.

eejaykay - you can get them back for their constant snoring when baby arrives. I remember feeling really anxious about bothering our neighbours when ds was first born (we were in a semi) as they were so quiet (even with three kids from 11 - 16) - and I'm sure we did disturb them but they were very gracious about it - then they got a [slightly yappy] dog. So, it's swings and roundabouts with neighbours is my view on the matter !!.....

Oh god I wanted to mention my neighbour fears too but thought I had moaned far far too much for one day! I am SO worried about our neighbours too! They are generally really hard work ? v.v. posh, interfering types who leave notes about everything ? and they are always complaining about our heating making noises and the fact they can hear us walking about (we are ridiculously considerate as well, I promise) etc etc. They are going to go mental about a baby crying and a buggy in the communal hall! Oh dear.

Nothing we can do about it really! City living etc

Forgot to thank you all for your kind words about my poorly friend. She's got a date for her operation now so hopefully once things get underway and we feel something is being done we'll all feel better. Her children are finding it quite tough and at 12 & 14 they're old enough to understand and get very worried. I think we adults are in denial at the moment.

Although she's 2 years younger than me she's always been a bit of a big sister/surrogate mum to me since I lost my mum when we were at uni so as well as worrying about what's going to happen to her, I'm also worried about her not being there for me which is really selfish I know. Between us DH & I only have one relative (his mum) so my best friend's is the only family DS has and she is his legal guardian should anything happen to us. But anyway, I am being uneccessarily pathetic and shall stop it now!

Thanks HG, and glad to hear you're thinking about it too nadss. I'm hoping there's a kind of sacredness that comes around having a baby which means people can't moan too much! Posh interfering types sound grotty though, leaving notes is so bloomin' cowardly. Our lot are a boisterous Cypriot family - loud but quite jolly, so I'm not going to feel too bad about noise, as HG says, swings and roundabouts.

HOM - I don't think you are unusual (or selfish) in your thought process to also have an element of "what about me" - your friendship is obviously extremely important to you and a big part of your life. Why wouldn't you feel that way.....I also don't think you're being pathetic. I'd feel the same way if it were one of my friends and I have plenty of close family /relatives- close and valued friends are an important part of most of our lives I suspect.

nadsss - tell your neighbours to go live in the country in a detached house with no neighbours if they want peace and quiet - don't opt as you say, for city living. You just have to put up with what comes with it. Although I know someone who did that and ended up finding the ducks in the village pond waking him up at dawn

Hey THOM, big hugs, you're not being pathetic at all, nor selfish. The fact that you are worried about how you are going to feel, and how your friend's illness will affect your little family unit, doesn't mean that you don't really care about her and what she's going through. I bet you'll be there and support her completely - and if you need to come here or anywhere else to offload your own worries and get support for yourself, then that's not only cool but very sensible.

My Dh has been through a super-rough ride in the past few years and I wouldn't still be with him were it not for a lot of lovely friends who kept listening to me moaning about what a miserable time I was having of it! They kept me sane, which meant I could help keep him sane.

hear, hear HOM ? so far from pathetic ? I would feel just the same particularly if she is a big part of your life. I so hope the operation will be a success ?

HG ? they once complained about the colour (white) of the bin bag we were putting out two hours before the binmen came as it lowered the tone of the neighbourhood! Amazing

I'm sitting in front of the tv with the laptop on my lap watching my bump twitch. It's highly amusing and compulsive viewing. I wonder what on earth LO is doing in there?

Hello everyone!

I'm mostly lurking and working too hard at the moment. (don't worry, it won't last)

1. For Dh/Dp to have better sleep in small flat I suggest earplugs in those early months. Seriously. What babies mostly need is breastmilk when they are tiny, and the daddy doesn't have any of that. Also have to say that I'm sure co-sleeping made for less night time tummy aches and less night time baby anxiety in our family last time, though we still had a bad night or two, so that really helped with avoiding the night time pacing up and down. If worried about disturbing neighbours with crying tiny baby, I'd repeat the mantra This Is The Fourth Trimester, The Baby Needs To Be Close To My Heartbeat, and invest in a copy of Deborah Jackson's Three in a Bed. I was so damn smug about the amount of sleep I was getting after my Dc1 was born - longer and better quality than in the third trimester, and I'm absolutely sure it was because we snuggled up close at night rather than being in separate beds.

1. Baths - oh, take the baby in with you, every time. Comfy temperature for you, not scorchio. And because they are snuggled in and skin to skin, they are more likely to enjoy it! and it saves on several square feet of pointless baby clobber.

1. Night time reading. With a tiny baby in your life, SLEEP WHEN THE BABY DOES. Because you can never tell when they'll wake up and need your attention, so grab the chance to sleep whenever you get it. Reading in bed comes back later, but truly not for the first while (it certainly took me a few months - 3 or 4 maybe? - to recover physically from the birth. Losing two complete nights' sleep and doing the hardest physical work of my entire life - it's not called "labour" in a metaphorical sense - you will mostly be knackered to start with tbh). I still have a rechargeable torch so I can read in bed even if everyone else in the vicinity is in the land of nod. Otherwise night lights can do the trick. We certainly had a night light to start with, though that was for my benefit rather than anyone else's (to see well enough to latch the baby on etc)

1. Mothers. Oh glory. Mine was there last time. For the birth - I wanted her there, and was really glad she was around a lot in the couple of weeks after the birth (but we had enough rooms that she could sleep in the sitting room leaving the spare room free for whatever night time permutations we ended up with). She was great in labour, actually. At the bit when I was hallucinating on the gas and air and clearly having a really rough time, one of the few things I remember is her voice saying calmly to my OH "it's alright, don't worry, she's just in the transition". And it was her who took the G&A tube gently away from me when I felt the urge to push and said "you need to really concentrate now". She was such a reassuring and experienced presence. Was an important part of me getting breastfeeding established too (having breastfed all three of her own children). She did a lot of cooking, and filling the freezer with home cooked meals. She kept turning up having popped into the farm shop for strawberries and asparagus. mmm hmmm. It was much appreciated, and for me it was very special to have my mother with me on that rite of passage through childbirth. There was something in it about birthing as a daughter, with her support. This time she is NOT invited until a few weeks after the baby arrives because the important thing is that the nuclear family adjusts to its expansion, and if we are dancing around extended family as well, that adjustment is almost impossible to make. And also because this time (brace yourselves) I intend to birth as independent woman, not as girl, not as daughter, not as wife/partner. What I want around me is my friendly crones, to support me birthing independently. But I'm a bit weird about this, and it would not have been right for me to approach the birth this way last time.

1. There is no number 5 point to make. But the government is all about 5 a day and 5 outcomes under Every Child Matters, so it is clear that if one is making a list it is vitally important to have 5 things on it.

O & U... you sound like an ambassador for childbirth !! Loving it and second co-sleeping for lots of sleep.

QK - my bump does that if I'm on the laptop...I'm slightly worried she will come out like a ready brek child all glowing with computer radiation !

Welcome back all lurkers and newbods...don't be shy !

OAO is right about reading at night probably not being a top priority for a while (though during the evening when you are cluster feeding for hours you might get some in if you ca concentrate enough!)but when you do get back to it for night time reading try one of these.