Due in June 10! Longer than the Lord of the Rings!

[katzguk]

new thread 604 posts is far too many for one little thread, time to start again!!

No way I think it is awful. Segregation can never be a good thing. It is an unrealistic view that people of racial minorities can never succeed properly outside there own racial group I went to Malvern Girls' College which was an international school and had people from all over the world you didn't see the difference in people. I think if you are given good opportunities for education you can do just as well. But then I moved from a state school where the bullying was terrible and the racism was present definately - sad really the more you pay the better school is I would have to say I would want my son to go to state school because the state schools in this area are not good because the opt out rate for private with assisted places and scholarships offer alot more to people from poorer back grounds. Thats saying state school in Bristol would be a worry because area's like St pauls which are highly deprived and full of racial minorities. It is poverty that is the problem really and then racism I am afraid still exists. I have never felt it as much as some because my education was paid but boy when I was in state school did I feel racism every day. However I was living in Wales and growing up in the 80's Wales is not London. I was born in london and which I had lived there.

To be honest Uwila I think if I was white an middle class I wouldn't think the school thing as important. However I know there are something that are blatantly shut from you or you have to work some much harder to get them. Things are changing though however I would want my little boy to only have narrow opportunities. Also the type of people you meet at private school think it is cool to work...

would = wouldn't doh - gotta go in class in like 2 minutes. Oh and wish I had grown up in London.

teabelly: haven't sold the Tomy one yet. Just found it took ages to do. Lots of buckles and poppers.

Trib, I sent you a CAT (re the other thread). Hopefully you'll get. I didn't get yours.

Lord, you guys can chat! This is just a flying message and I haven?t read all the messages today, so apologies if I?m missing out something really important.

Uki, that woman is clearly nuts. She saw your (gasp in horror) knickers!!!! And complained!!!! My word, some people really don?t have enough to occupy themselves.

Well, its my birthday today. I?m the ripe old age of 31 and feeling every year of it . My DH have had the most lovely, relaxing day, chilling out and spending a bit of quality time together. I?ll write again properly tomorrow???

Hope you are all fine and well

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAH [GRIN]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAH

i had an old style tomy carrier with DD which i'm about to sell because its crap but ths time round i've bought a wilkinet, which i've just got back off of my friend.

Happy Birthday Jonah, you spring chicken you! Enjoy.

evening all,
happy birthday jonah!!
mrs w-re:the midwife appointments.i saw mine for the first time on friday(26 wks)which i was really surprised at especially as this is our first baby.maybe because its shared care with my gp,i dont have to see her that often-who knows!
she did say that i now have to see either her or my gp every 2 wks now but because ive had such an easy pregnancy and im feeling so well that i can go back in 3 wks instead so my next appointment is just before easter
lipstick-they DO still do roast beef monster munch as i had a packet today.infact monster munch is probably the one craving i've had,although the pickled onion are my favourite and ive also had a packet of them today
nab-i havent tried the baby bjorn or any sling yet but i did get one on ebay yesterday and it was only £10 so i think i got a bit of a bargain there.we were going to get the tomy one for about £20 but changed our mind when this one came up
lua and teabelly-good luck to you both for tomorrow and dont worry teabelly-im also petrified of needles but i went the other week and the worst bit was the drink,unless youre a fan of lucazade

Morning all
Good Luck to Tea and Lua today. Hope all is OK.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY for yesterday for Jonah!
I have read through the thread and I am now HUNGRY despite having just eaten a bowl of muesli and it being 7.20 am I want crisps!! Now how did that happen??
I have a Wilkinet and think it is great. It is a challenge to put on to begin with though so be prepared, but it is very comfortable and I don't remember my back aching with it at all. I even used it in the summer when dd was 18mths old when I had a flight to do to the UK and back on my own and I needed my hands. It was much easier and more comfortable to use the carrier than carry dd on my hip all the way to the luggage collection. DH liked it too but he did need the instructions and a little assistance to get it on. Having said that I haven't used an other carriers apart from the hippychick so I have nothing to compare it too really. It seems to last longer than the baby bjorn style though.
Hello Nab - Glad to hear someone else ate rubbish in their second pregnancy because it was diff from the first with feeling sick etc. This is what I am doing .
Trib - Am v impressed with the knitting. I thought about doing a cross stitch but not for long. I know where my talents don't lie, (still trying to find them though!)
Good Luck to Sweetheart. I wasn't on the thread when you were but get the gist of what happened and I am very sorry. Take care and it sounds like we will def all be thinking of you.
Pink and Uwila - You are so organised thinking of schools!! It hasn't really crossed my mind as we will be moving around until dd is about 10. I am trying to buy a house in a good school catchment area though so maybe this is my way of thinking it through. Where we want to live there aren't that many schools anyway so you just go to the closest one unless you pay. (We will be in the sticks if we can be). I saw that stuff about black boys under achieving too and it was quite worrying, but I was really at the idea of segregation. That strikes me as a HUGE step backwards and quite scary.
Charley - Sorry about the inlaws. Wait till the baby arrives! Limit visiting time and remember not to complain to them about anything even if you are at your wits end because it sounds like they will jump on it!! I am lucky with my MIL who was very pro BF and cloth nappies etc and v supportive telling DH to look after me etc. The only prob I have with her is she always says about dd 'She is tired/hungry/ thirsty/ etc rather than I think she might be tired/hungry etc. Makes me want to yell and how would you know ?? but I don't as generall we get on very well thankfully. She does have some funny ideas though and she is the one worrying about the schools for us!
Mrs W - had to laugh about your ds and the crisps. DD does the same if she can with the bread bin and just eats dry crusts!!! I do feed her honest!
Lippy - def a forces thing to have so many appts I think. Looking back I don't think I had as many with dd. It is hard to remember though. Thankfully I don't work and med centre is walking distance, opposite creche and the cafe, and next to the gym where dh works and there is never a wait. Spoilt - yes I am. Just remember my birth options (or lack of)before you get jealous though. Tea- I am not brave at all, that is the problem. I am just hopeful that this baby will be in as good position etc as dd was to help me out (ie not back to back etc). I am scared sometimes. I am going to post a thread on Childbirth at some point nearer the time for some moral support and guidance. Lua did it with no pain relief didn't you Lua ??
Right, must go and change dd's nappy. I love mega blocks. They have kept her entertained the whole time I have been writing this essay.
Hope to keep more on track today. Was exhausted yesterday. Lots of Braxton Hicks and I wonder if that was why. Was in bed at 8pm. Byeeeee

Blimey that was a long one. Sorry

Happy Birthday JonahB - hope you had a great day.
I can confirm the babe magnet potential of the sling. DH loved going out with it on - sure it was partly the fawning women factor.
I found ours useful for putting dd in while I did some jobs round the house too - in the early days.

Blimey you lot were chatty (and hungry?) yesterday.

Happy belated birthday, JonahB.

Not alot to add this morning, am shamefully hiding from ds who wants to play Spiderman games (we have been playing them since 7am - I hate Spiderman, he's taken over our house) so thought I would check in under the guise of 'reading a very important email' which has bought me 5 minutes.

My MIL rang up at the weekend to offer to come down for a few days after the baby arrives - total shock, we had to ask her two weeks ago to check her diary for the weekends around my due date to see if they were free to come down! Never really thought she would be able to be down weekdays as she works in education, but she's now volunteering to rearrange things to come and help. This is actually a real bonus as I'm worrying about what happens with ds if I have another Csection, and my mum can't come as she's my dad's full time carer. Plus, dh actually finds his mother more aggravating than I do, so I know that if she is annoying, he will snap first .

Anyway, have good days everyone, Spiderman calls, am just going to see if I can get away with making myself a cup of tea before I have to be Mary Jane being rescued from the green goblin again (I think I want a dd this time!).

KVG - any chance you can explain to the parents-in-law that it's just not convenient for them to come that weekend because of the leave days? Maybe harsh but I just think the days for you and dh with the new bean are more important than an in-law visitation. Would they take it okay if you explained why? Either that or a shorter visit so dh doesn't have to use both days, maybe.

Charley - learning to ignore our MILs is a vital part of pregnancy in my view I just don't answer the phone when I know it's her, so dh has to take all the earache about what I should and shouldn't be eating, etc. He has had 34 long years of learning to ignore his mother so is much better able to handle it. Half the time when he gets off the phone he seriously has no memory of what she's said. When will these women learn that advice, when sought, is much appreciated, but just being told what to do with our babies is not? I have had to deny my natural instinct to opposing anything the MIL says on the matter of breastfeeding (we are both in favour of it) - fortunately I don't think bottlefeeding the baby just to wind her up would be very mature (Tempting though).

Anyway, that's my morning rant on MILs over with. I dread to think what is to come if we haven't moved away from here before the baby comes ....

Morning all!

Happy birthday for yesterday JonahB!

Tea, forgot to wish you luck for your appointment too.

MrsF, when does the Spiderman fixation kick in? My DS is 2.5 and hasn't discovered him yet, although we do have to spend far too much time slaying imaginary dragons with spoons.

Welshmum, glad you got to speak to Sweetheart. I am sending her all the luck in the world for her baby-making plans.

Scary thought - there's a fair chance us mums and mums-to-be of boys will be MILs one day . I am lucky with mine, she's lovely, but my FIL is a complete pain in the arse at times (his heart is in the right place, but oh my god, he does like interfering). Not sure I'll be able to cope with them coming to stay when this baby is born - I keep putting off thinking about how we are going to manage those early days.

I was really strict about visitors when dd was born. Mum and Step dad drove 4 hs for 20 mins in hosp on day dd was born and then mum stayed for a week (week 3) when DH was back to work. Dad and step mum travelled 4 hrs to visit for 4 hrs then home when dd was 6 days old and MIL drove for 4 hrs and stayed for 5 hrs when dd was 13 days old. That was enough for us. I should say when mum stayed she did all the household jobs and let me look after dd. She has lots of cuddles but said that was my time to get to know baby without worrying about anything else (washing, cooking, cleaning etc) This was perfect as I didn't want help with the baby, I wanted help with the crappy household jobs. It was a wonderful time for us all DH included as he was fed on return from work every lunchtime and evening.

KVG - Know how annoying that is about visits. DH's father now lives in Portugal and saw dd for the first time when she was 9 months old!! . He was an Easyjet £60 fare away. Only saw her then because he was home for Christmas. I don't care as it is he who is missing out and dd has more than enough grandparents and family to go round thankfully. He saw her again this Xmas but don't know when he will see her again or the new baby. He is a lovely chap too really but can be very selfish sometimes I think.

That sounds lovely Cooperoo, just what you need with a newborn. I'm not sure my in-laws will be quite so helpful. My MIL would, but FIL would drive me mad being a know-all, and I start to feel like I should be 'hostess' to them (well I did last time anyway). Unfortunately my mum is dead and my dad lives in the South of France, so I reckon we'll have to just get on with it.

What are you going to do this time round? (sorry if you've already said this, I'm losing track of this thread at the moment!)

Mrs W - Sorry to hear about your Mum and that your Dad is so far away. I am not sure that MIL/FIL can be the same as lovely as they might be. We have alot of visitors here for a week at a time (Dad and stepmum and Mum and Stepdad, sister, MIL etc all twice a year so far....not at the same time). And it can be hard playing the hostess. I really struggled for the first visits as was aware they were 'on holiday' and rushing around cooking etc. Now I am much more relaxed and expect the guests to cook and wash up etc and make me tea as much as they would do at home really. I put far too much pressure on myself and now enjoy visits much more. DH pointed out we do the same when we visit them so all works out and they don't have a small toddler to cater for.
This time is a bit different. Mum can't come as she is a teacher and so I had a good friend to look after dd. Sadly she is moving now in May so I am trying to decide on someone else to ask. DH should have lots of time off this time round though. He couldn't take much with dd as they were short staffed. We are planning to fly back to the UK for a month when the baby is just two weeks old so that will be interesting. And I am very lucky that dh works just 5 mins away and they are very good at work so if I need him home at short notice he can be there. When I hurt my back before I was stuck on all fours and rang him at work and he was home in five mins and got me to the physio 10 mins later on an emergency appt. Very lucky!! He gets alot of time with dd too as they start early here but are home by 1400 most days. V Lucky. Perfect posting for if you have a young family really in a lot of ways. It is a very family friendly country too. DD is more welcome than us at restaurants so I have no complaints about being here really even if I will miss my mum to begin with. Am glad it is baby no2. DD was the first for everyone so they were all v excited.

Coop - that's exactly the approach my mum takes as well, all my SILs rave about having her to stay on 'Granny Duty' so I am looking forward to taking my turn as well. I intend to be quite strict on visitors although this is where living quite a distance from friends and family could be useful.

KVG - I see my dad maybe once a year, if that and I still wouldn't let him come on a weekend that was inconvenient (Mind you, my FIL never even made it to our wedding despite living 5 miles away so I shouldn't complain too much). Maybe your inlaws think it'd be easier if they came to visit you at home though?

Ah, the available family support. I'm just full of cheery replies these days! My entire family lives in Chicago. None of them will come visit, apart maybe from my mother. But even she will be doing so laregely because it is fun to come to England and not to do any "work" to help me. DH's family lives in Birmingham (England). We will be expected to go to them. When DD was born, DH insisted I do this one week after caesarean (a car ride I did not enjoy). It was also my first Mother's day which turned out to be a well qualified candidate for the most disappointing day of my life (but I'll save that rant for another time). DH just doesn't understand how hard it is to have a baby. It is my opinion (biased as it may be) that I work damn hard and do very well with bearing through physical recovery and rediculously short returns to work all the while holding my head high -- with no help from anyone. Meanwhile he goes off to work two weeks later and brags to all his friends at work how easy it all is for me...I tell ya, if men could get pregnant, revenge would be sweet.

Oh right, this was about family being nearby wasn't it. Well the relatives in Brum won't be coming to me. They are nice enough when I go see them. But, for some reason, the thought of them coming to me never seems to occur to them.