Due May 05 part 5

[logic]

I think it's time for a new thread! The old one was getting huge...

I get hayfever and deliberately ate peanuts last time on teh assumption that early exposure woudl be better. Can't say I've avoided them thsi time either. Oh well.

I have allergies and hayfever but I've been eating peanut sauce occasionally anyway. I'm sure a lot of this advice comes from same people who tell you that breastfeeding prevents exzema

Hi Ladies... Just trying to catch up on all the chat.

Have been sick for the last 4 nights in a row - think my stomach is being squashed. I started to eat smaller meals to try and stop this. I had morning sickness until about 16 weeks, but this is different. I also get lots of braxton hicks, but did last time also. This ones a lot feistier kicking me all the time .

I have gained about a stone so far and feel quite big, but I get very different comments, like 'isn't your bump big' to 'your very neat aren't you'. It's funny how comments can come with a space of five minutes. I think Catherine Zeta Jones gained about 5 stone or something mad like that. I think I've only gained a stone as I was about a stone over weight anyway, so maybe baby was using some of that jubber first!!

I think people that haven't experienced a pregnancy close to home have no idea how big bumps do get and have no idea we don't want or need to hear ' "you're looking huge!!"

Preggars and Shhhh, there is another side too. Last time, up until about 30 weeks I was cheerfully saying that I would take two of any pain relief available but nearer the birth, after looking at all the options, I decided on TENS and gas + air only. I managed it but only because of the support of the staff and the hospital environment. I had a decent sized delivery room and I was allowed to walk around and do whatever I wanted. Labour affects everyone so differently and you can't know what it's going to be like until it happens I found that the breathing exercises really did help, gave me back control of the pain. Did it work for anyone else?

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I think the open minded thing is by far the best policy. I updated my birthplan yesterday. We had a very positive experience last time, basically because we felt well informed and involved in every decision. We'd done a lot of reading in advance (we're like that) - in fact dp was asked if he was a doctor, he'd read so much. I had an almost identical birth to an NCT friend, except that she had been determined to have a water birth, no pain relief etc. etc., whereas I went with the attitude "get it out healthy, please". She says her birth was terrible, traumatic etc., whereas mine was positive. For her second birth she went with an open mind - and it was much better.

Another open mind issue - I have just bought a little tin of formula. I fully intend to breastfeed, as I did last time. I wasn't going to buy formula last time, I said I'd only buy it if I needed it. But my mum made me buy some. I am so glad she did. Needless to say, the decision to bottle feed was not made after calm debate and then a trip to the shops. The decision was made while the baby screamed with hunger, I screamed with pain and dp and I made a horrible heart-wrenching decision that could not have been calm in a million years. It was a relief that dp was able to go to the cupboard and just make up a feed while I looked after my poor poor body! So whatever your views on breastfeeding, buy some formula (and dummies, for that sake - the whole debate seems a little trivial at 3a.m. after 5 hours of screaming!)

I've been thinking about whether or not to get some formula just in case (& dummies!). I have 2 friends who did the whole 'send DH to Tesco at midnight for formula milk' thing, so I figure that for a few pounds, it's worth getting a tin just in case, even if it never gets used. I might even just buy a couple of ready-mixed cartons. I've bought a steriliser, and have a few bottles that came free with my steriliser and breast pump, so I'll be ready if I find I just can't cope with breasfeeding any longer. Yes, I've just decided. I will definitely get some formula.

Uwila - I post on an American board a bit like this, and the impression I've got is that avoiding aspartame during pregnancy in USA is 'official' advice, kind of equivalent to our Department of Health guidelines. The ladies on the board certainly seem to be taking it very seriously. I may have misinterpreted things though - I do have a mushy pregnant brain after all! As I said though, I've given up giving up aspartame anyway!

Very much agree. All very sound. I fully breast fed (cause that's was they tell you to do), but remember a row at 5 in the morning on day 4 when we hadn't slept at all night and DS was on and off my poor sore nipples all night long and husband desperately wanted to bottle feed baby like they had done in hospital. Nothing seems sane at 5 in the morning, a dummy or perhaps a bottle with some formula in the house may have helped!!!

Fisil, funny enough I said the same about do what you need to do to hand me a healthy child'. I nearly had a Caesarean after pushing for a hour and half, and he came after a bit of splitting. I really hope I can walk about more this time (as had to lie on my back to be monitored due to induction - which hurt - which probably left me having an epidural. With regards to letting the epidural wear off, I was a bit shocked at the time about this as the birth obvisouly completely hurt... and I was expecting the pain having had an epidural. However, in retrospect, maybe this prevented the use of forceps and ventouse, and maybe a Caesarean. It was nice to have a breather for an hour or two though before I was back doing the giving birth thang!

I meant - I was shocked because I wasn't expecting any pain after the epidural. Typing too fast for my own good.

p.s. Got the - "you're looking huge now" comment just then!!

A lot of the 'blokes' I know just say 'hello or alright fattie'. I think they believe it's a term of endearment!! But really p*sses me off and I just give a sarcastic smile!!

My bosses partner has just said that I'm one of those women who just looks beautiful when pregnant so that's made my day!!

That's such a fabulous compliment. I want one

I've got a small tin of formula in too just in case. I don't want it to be an issue at 3am with a screaming baby either...

I'm definately a lot more open minded about everything this time. Or it could be that I'm so sleep-deprived already that I don't know what's going on around me Probably the latter.

I've been reading the baby whisperer book by Tracey Hogg and was rather surprised to read her advocating a mixture of breastfeeding and formula feeding. She recommends introducing this in the first 3 weeks so the baby becomes accustomed to both.

Discussing this with my midwife and she said not to do this because it causes nipple confusion and will make your milk dry up.

Tracey argues that its not nipple confusion but the baby not understanding the difference in flows and if you use a slow flowing bottle the baby will adapt easily back and forth. She also says as long as you continue regular breastfeeding in between bottle feeding then your milk will not dry up.

I really want to go with the Tracey Hogg method for several reasons

• allowing dp to get more involved
• allowing me the independence to leave the baby on occasions without having to express
• being rather inhibited about getting my boobs out in public
• easier for when I go back to work if the baby is already used to the bottle.

Anyone got any opinions on if this could work?

Sorry rather long winded

Brighteyes, I breastfed ds for 4.5 months and I introduced a night-time formula bottle feed at 2 months and it worked fine. I intend to start the bottle earlier this time, probably from birth but bf up to 6 months. Babies don't get confused. You do, however, get a very real problem if you don't bottle feed at all up to a year because the baby will then refuse the bottle. I've heard so many people complain of this so it does make sense to get them used to it early. Plus, as you say, if you want a night off or you are ill then they will accept the bottle and dp can give the feed.

Logic, I totally agree with you about keeping an open mind about the birth. Having never had a baby before I have no idea what to expect other than it's going to be painful (!). Personally I am prepared to have any kind of pain relief that is required as I feel if it's on offer then it's worth considering. I want to go with the flow and to do whatever makes me confortable and whatever allows baby to arive safely. I am also keen on a water birth although with this I know you are limited to the pain relief you can have. Please note that I haven't yet been to any parent craft class etc and i'm not due in until 2 weeks before my due date. By then and also after the class my options may well change.
Fisil, i also appreciate your advice re: Formula feed. I to intend to breatfeed but having recently had a close friend try feeding this way and deciding to bottle feed I also want to keep an open mind about this. I have bought the equipment for breat feeding but I have also bought bottles and dummies etc. Being a first time mum I find it hard to know how to prepare yourself but i'm getting there!! I will now buy some formula feed on my next shopping trip

Also forgot to say that I would like to bottlefeed esp at night to allow me to have a break and to let dh feel more involved.

Re: Breast and bottle mix

DEFINATELY DO THIS. I didn't first time round. I followed all the advice from the midwives and health visitors and stuck wholly to breast. As a result I got stuck breast feeding. I couldn't do anything to pamper myself, go out, have hair done. My husband couldn't help me at all at night., etc.

I tried to introduce a bottle from about 2 months, but my DS absolutely adored breastfeeding and as I hadn't ever offered anything else at all he just didn't want a rubber teat in his mouth. Once a day for FOUR MONTHS I tried to introduce a bottle. I bought every type of bottle and teat under the sun. We tried spoon feeding, you name it we tried it. At this stage, the same health visitor would say that I should have introduced a bottle - and were no help at all. I ended up having to make my son go 'cold turkey'. He waited TWENTY TWO hours before he finally gave in a took a bottle. It was impossible to explain the the tears and upset for the whole 4 months until I managed to wean him off me.

I really really loved breast feeding my son, and will hopefully be doing so again with my immenent arrival (two year old permitting!), but I will introduce a bottle once a day from about 2 weeks, perhaps the night feed. I will probably express the milk for this.

I was a silly silly billy.

I'm with you Shhhh

I really want to breast feed but also express and bottle feed so DP can have a hand in it as he wants to. I've bought the steriliser, bottles etc and now I will buy the formula too, thanks to all the advice!! I was thinking about it but will definitley do that now. I'm not going to beat myself up about not being able to breast feed if I can't either as I've heard it can be quite difficult.

When I spoke with the midwife about feeding by breast and bottle she said to solely breast feed for the 1st 3 weeks and then to introduce the bottle. Has anyone else had this advice or any other?!?

Glad so many of you are choosing to use both breast and bottle, when I mentioned it to my midwife she looked at me like I was demented.

Fashill I've heard conflicting information on when to introduce the bottle. Midwife said that I would have to breastfeed excluisvely for 5 weeks to establish a good supply yet in several books I've read (including the MN book mums on babies) the sooner the bootle is introduced the easier it is for the baby to adjust.

Shhhh, the parentcraft classes will give you all the information that you need about the different pain relief options. As long as you and the baby are healthy, what else matters? I have to say that I was a bit miffed when they took my lovely gas+air away for the pushing stage. I clung to the mouthpiece so hard, they turned it off at the tap. lol

As for the breastfeeding, there is definately a luck element involved. My friend desperately wanted to bf and tried until she was literally bleeding and the midwife made her stop. It just isn't always possible.

You were not a silly billy either, preggars. I found that I got a ridiculous amount of conflicting advice from people but very little actual help too...

Actually, that's a very good point. First-timers - you will not believe the amount of conflicting advice you get as soon as you have the baby - well I guess, even now. It is quite incredible and in the end - laughable. I could not believe that three nurses offered completely conflicting advice on just one ward after birth, let alone each midwife and health visitor in the first week.

Most of them were lovely, very different, but lovely, but I had one moo of a Midwife that said I couldn't be a good Mum if I was tidy, and that when her children spill things on the floor she would just wipe it with her foot. Nice.

I would like to breast feed and express to bottle feed, when I'm out and about, or so dp can do some feeds too, but this is my first too so any advice as to when to start trying a bottle would be great. My sister has also given me some formula that she's had left over (she supplemented her breast milk with formula from about 3 months). Also where do you get these slow flow teats from and what bottles and teats do people recommend - haven't bought them yet but planning to soon. I too am trying to keep an open mind re birth, although I'd rather avoid an epidural if I can.

little B - I spoke with my DP's sister before buying and she recommended the Avent bottles (the small fatter ones) as they are easier to clean too. There are different flow teats that come with them too. Although probably better for the 2nd timers to give advice on this one!

I've also got the avent bottles after my sister recommended them.