Due November 2008....Mmmmmmmmmmmm....minty Gaviscon, swallowed not stirred

[LackaDAISYcal]

Thanks to Pinkali for the title

NEED HELP - I told my employer I was finishing at the end of Sept. So I would have 5-6wks off before EDD 3rd Nov and then change DS nursery from Mon-Wed full days to Mon and Wed AM.

But ... since coming back off holiday I really cant get back into work, do very little and I'm constantly exhausted. So I've now got the idea in my head to finish a month earlier than planned at end of Aug. This would give me 9-10wks before EDD.

What you think? Pro's and Con's. Would being at home with DS be harder than work? Please help me. I would need to tell my employer TOMORROW latest if I want to change things.

vbab - I work 2 days a week from home. I planned on finishing 2 weeks before EDD (11th Nov) although in reality would be a few days before baby due as will have a planned CS. However, am also absolutely shattered, no interest in work and will be telling my employer that I will be finishing mid sept so I get a good 6-8 weeks off prior to birth. DS1 will be at school and DS2 at nursery and I plan on just doing bugger all apart from sleeping or chilling out.

I think it is very important - I am struggling when I work 2 days from home so if you are office bound with a DC it must be a million times worse.

Are you planning on going back to work??

Vbab, I think you need Ceebee for this. She is our HR guru, isn't she ?
But the q that springs to mind is, are you going back. If not who cares when you finish. If you are, don't do it. Don't take time now. Take time once baby is here, once you have 2. Then you really will need it.

So you can't get into work. So what. Unless they start to make comments. I felt totally dippy, and even apologised to my boss once ,becasue I was doing an important reconciliation. But it had taken me all day. And should have only taken a couple of hours. He didn't say a word. You are worrying too much.

Hi all welll yes DS has chicken pox, DD probably- we'll see by the end of today- I will be astounded if she doesn't have it.

I've had a blood test to make sure as neither myself or my mother can remember, but think I have had it.

Oblomov- slings- I carried my babies in a wraparound sling after cs but you do have to be very careful, and a buggy board can be hard work going up kerbs. I have a friend who has really done her back in after her second cs by overdoing it.

AS long as it's short trips at first I think you will be ok, but let DH do the school run for the first few weeks?

Vbab- I can't say if being home will be harder than working. I found working less physically taxing, but it depends upon your journey to work etc. You may also get very bored.

MMI have never woken my babies for feeds myself- I just can't see the point, but some obviously think it's a good idea.

Glad you had a good time last night, DM

suiledonn have you tried dermol500 at all? it was a major turning point for us witrh regards dd1 eczema (she is now allergic to it, but thats a different matter). we got referred to a consultant dermotologist at hertford general and he transformed her skin within weeks of seeing her. was amazing. she cant tolerate heavey creams or anything too thick as it makes her skin go crazy and its like she grows another layer of skin, it gets thick and scaly. so we use hydrocortison ointment when she flares up, not cream as that makes her stingy, and now use aveeno. it sinks in lovely. i would love it if she could still use the dermol as it helps keeps infections at bay.

her skin is bad as well atm, she spent last night with cold cloths on her legs. hers is due to a reaction to sun cream atm (think you were on my sun cream thread last night).

its hard work isnt it?

i avoided peanuts and other allergens with dd's and it didnt help, or maybe it did, and they would be worse i dunno. but have gone the other way this time, after reading research about saying NOT to avoid peanuts etc. if this little ones does have eczema, i will be volenteering her up for the LEAP project at st thomas' which researches the link between eczema and peanut allergies.

suiledonn have you tried dermol500 at all? it was a major turning point for us witrh regards dd1 eczema (she is now allergic to it, but thats a different matter). we got referred to a consultant dermotologist at hertford general and he transformed her skin within weeks of seeing her. was amazing. she cant tolerate heavey creams or anything too thick as it makes her skin go crazy and its like she grows another layer of skin, it gets thick and scaly. so we use hydrocortison ointment when she flares up, not cream as that makes her stingy, and now use aveeno. it sinks in lovely. i would love it if she could still use the dermol as it helps keeps infections at bay.

her skin is bad as well atm, she spent last night with cold cloths on her legs. hers is due to a reaction to sun cream atm (think you were on my sun cream thread last night).

its hard work isnt it?

i avoided peanuts and other allergens with dd's and it didnt help, or maybe it did, and they would be worse i dunno. but have gone the other way this time, after reading research about saying NOT to avoid peanuts etc. if this little ones does have eczema, i will be volenteering her up for the LEAP project at st thomas' which researches the link between eczema and peanut allergies.

dozy & oblomov - Thanks for trying to help with my work troubles.

Don't think due to £ I would be coming back to work as it wouldn't be worth my while after childcare, petrol and wear and tear on the car. It would be a pity as it isn't a terribly bad place to work, quite understanding re kids, £ ok and I've been here 8 years since uni and I would have to retrain to get back into anything.

Another factor against returning is the organisation that would be needed with DS starting half day for 5 days at school, baby (prob 9mnths+) at nursery and work being 20-30mins from home/school in good traffic.

DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

That's quite a dilemma, VBAB. I know people who's lo have part time places etc. have gone for the childminder option, don't know if that would work for you, to tide you over until your child is in school full time?

It's a bit of a perenial problem for parents I think.

I have a friend who is virtually paying to work at the moment- she works in ressearch and is desperate to keep her career going.

Suiledon I have great sympathies with your dc. I get eczema on my lady bits from time to time and it's really not pleasant. I second Misdee's suggestion of pushing for a deramtyoilogist appointmemt, they can be extremly helpful. My Brother works in a dermatology dept and they can do amzing things- sometimes it's not just whatt you use but how you useit that can make a big difference.

Some of the skin conditions my brother is trying to help would just mmake you weep, really.

VBAB - if you don't plan to go back to work afterwards I would go on maternity whenever as it won't make any difference in the end (other than you won't be being paid for as long i.e. if you would ordinarily work up say 4 weeks before and then taking the 9 months leave that is money for 10 months instead of using up the maternity leave sooner) OMG does that make sense? It did when i was saying it to myself but not when i typed it!

If not going back, go on maternity asap.

I don't think that quite adds up Pinkali unless you have confused me.
You wouldn't get 10 months of money, still only 9 and only 8 months of that would be when baby was there, so if money is tight you would have less for longer.......
Now I have confused things
What I mean is, you don't really need so much extra until baby arrives then you would only have 8 months.
But there again, how many of us stop the day before we are due and get the full 9 months?

With DD I stopped at 34 weeks, cos I knew I wasn't going back, and I fell out with boss,so figured whats the point in staying longer. So I only ended up with 4 months of maternity pay. Cos it was only 6 months, in my day.
This time I won't get anything cos I haven't worked between DD and this one.
Seems unfair.

pinky - sorry to hear about your chicken pox outbreak. Hopefully you are ok? But isn't it better for children to have it than as adults?

Hi vbab yes much better for children to have it- shingles etc. for adults, possible infertility for men. DH's dad hasn'thad it which is abit of a worry as he's in his 80's and not very well. The only other slight worry is that we are not sure I've had it which could be very bad news indeed, but I think I probably have, the blood test results will tellus in the next few days. The children have been exposed to it a few times but never caught it. I'm pleased in way that they have it now rather than later when they are at school.

Hana, wasn't suggesting /saying it could start now. Just saying, if not going back, do it earlier.

Erm... I mean you would get your normal pay for being at work up until maternity leave started then you would have the 9 months and if not going back it all stops. However, if you start your maternity leave earlier than planned you still only get the 9 months maternity but you miss out on the money you would haev earnt whilst at normal work too (Oh Twinkling, i'm confusing myself pregnant brain is stupid!!)

So... silly example, if would have earnt £100 in Aug, Sept, Oct and thentake maternity for 9 months so a further 9 x £100 per month, if you start maternity earlier you will be shortening the amount of money earnt so possibly only Aug £100 then 9 months 9 x £100 i.e. missing out on Sept and OCt money...

Anyway, i think i need to feed my brain...

using tiger.direct.gov.uk/cgi-bin/maternity.cgi it calculates the earliest I can start mat leave is SUNDAY (?) 17th August. I have enough holidays left so that I could start "official" leave on 1st Sept but finish a week or so before then.

REALLY GOOD SITE.

Pinkali37 - that's sounds correct.

I think I'm close to a decision ladies [gasp]... purely because of £ and our serious lack of it I think I need to keep on at work until I said and I then finish 5-6wks before EDD.

I don't like this decision as at the moment I hate being at work because I am hot, tired and cant be bothered. As a result time is dragging. But money talks and even more so if I may not be returning to work.

I just need to try to go to bed earlier!

hana - if i get too exhausted or poorly I will take time off sick.

Suiledonn, your poor DD, the heat is the last thing she needs, is there any hope she'll grow out of it? My brother did to a large extent, not that that helps now though

Oblomov - decorators? you've got me confused with someone else, we live in rented house so every room is magnolia, I would love to paint, but as a bad mum gutting the kitchen would come far higher up the budget than the nursery!

Vbab - sorry I missed your dilemma but have been busy at work. What Hana said, you can't commence your maternity leave before 29 weeks (although it sounds like end of August would be that anyway) but Pink has a good point that by starting your maternity leave early, you would lose out on the money you would have earned so I really think it is worth perservering. Have you any outstanding holiday that you can add on to the start of your maternity leave - depending on when your holiday year starts, you will need to use it up before you go off anyway? Or maybe reduce your working weeks by 1 or 2 days by using your holiday upto the date you finally start your maternity leave?

I work 4 days a week - but am reducing it to 2 days a week from the start of October by using some holiday to do so and then having 3 full weeks holiday from the last week of October and actually starting my maternity leave on 16 November.

Thanks for the advice on constipation - have bought some Lactulose from the chemists just to get rid of the 'problem' now but will buy some seeds (linseed is it?) and prunes to try and prevent it again.

Pinky - sorry about the pox - what a nightmare for you having 2 poorly children. Hope you are ok aswell.

x

Ceebee, when are you due?

I can't decide what to do. Although I work for DH part time, I feel like I shouldn't go off too soon however, I know i will find it increasingly difficult to continue at work so just not sure. Am due 14th November so had initially said right that's it i'm off on maternity on 15th October, however, i realise now that will leave him in the so finish the last day of October.