Due November 08 - We're STILL a bunch of worrying fusspots who don't know what we want to eat, but pass us the cheese (and rice if you must ) purlease, while we wait for 12 weeks

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Here's our shiney, new and slightly ameneded thread to reflect our main topic of conversation recently! Really didn't want to mention the cheese and rice in the same sentence, but as it is a favourite with so many of you, I had to add it in, sorry to Hanaflower!

Top tip about the M and S vests . I have loads of them that i wear especially when breastfeeding - I buy them to big so they are long enough to hide the shameful belly. But had not thought of simply not wearing straps. Genius!

Had my booking in with midwife today. They have changed the system so I see a hospital midwife at my nearest doctors surgery which is about 3 minute walk. Huge improvement on going into central London hospital and being kept waiting for an hour.
The appointment took a long time about 50 minutes, so much form filling and informing you of stuff you already know about. I find well-meaning and policy very irritating. I lost it a little when she started telling me about home births and that they would not say for sure if I could have one until many weeks into pregnancy, just a few weeks before birth and that would be after a home assessment. I think I was rather rude? I said it was my choice whether I had a home birth and no-one elses and I said that I was not happy with the idea of having a home assessment. She said well we would not go along with it unless we felt it was the right option. I said if I wanted a home birth I would have one with a private midwife - the one I used last time. Up until then I thought maybe I could save some money and have NHS midwives present, but I do not think I could handle the nanny-state thing and having to jump through hoops to prove to them that it is an OK thing to do.
Luckily I think we recovered from this OK as this was at the start and we had about 40 minutes of form filling after this when I managed to make her laugh to prove I am not a complete dragon.

She had a go with the Doppler for me. But we did not hear anything - she said the uterus was still down in the pelvis. She was very gentle though, when I have had this done before they really prodded the thing in!! She was sweet and reassuring on the miscarriage fear thing and asked me if I felt pregnant, I said I generally did and she said that was the best indicator. She offered me counselling to deal with previous miscarriage and the anxiety it has caused. But I said I felt I would be a lot better after scan next week. I wished I had been offered counselling on NHS at the time of the miscarriage. I paid to have a private session as I was pretty rocked by the effect it had on me.

Does anyone else find NHS approach to pregnancy patronising? I probably sound awful and ungrateful for posting this. I expect loads of replies saying how great things are in other areas. I do think NHS has fantastic medical staff etc but I think they sometimes lose their way a bit on pregnancy with the policy and one size fits all approach but I guess that is the only fair way to ensure everyone gets the same level of service.

Thanks all. Not a lot of time, so I read your post later renaissance. Excited about the VBAC- disappointed that I was not allowed to try with DD but hey ho (I was very poorly). Fluttery babies- I felt DD really early- perhaps it's more to do with how active baby is, but you also know what to look for after the first so I don't know. I felt dd at around 14 weeks, DS around 16.

Oh no... so I don't feel pregnant which has now made me worry... Your midwife saying "if you feel pregnant that's the best indicator" YIKES>....

Personally I have found the NHS fine. Had one bad experience when i had my mc last year but have chosen a different hospital now.

Renaissance I'm with you on the NHS thing I think the service they provide in some areas is appaling, I have been made to feel a little bit silly a few times - A nurse laughed at me when I had mmc and said I was prob imagining the pains I fought for 3 weeks to get a scan and find out I had lost the baby 4 weeks earlier. The midwives see pg people every day and it is all normal to them but to each and every pg person it is their very own 'special' experience and ost of us do not appriciate being mocked for our worryings!
I must be getting my energy back now I have just cleaned the kitchen whilst dancing and signing at the top of my voice to my ipod - I hope the neighbours are out .
Pinky congrats on your scan I am also like you and Lacksadaisy hoping for a VBAC but I have to see consultant at around 34 weeks to see if it is possible.
Sorry for the long post I do get on my high horse about the NHS and I work for them!!!

rennaisance, the NHS service here is generally OK, and they are good about homebirths if the pregnancy is well and helathy. The fact you have had one successful homebith would indicate you are a prime candidate for another imo. The fact that she is a hospital MW may have something to do with it? It's the community midwives here that do the home birthing. I was reading a thread here earlier as well saying that homebirths actually cost the NHS less money than a hospital birth!

I think as well it can have a lot to do with the individual MW....some obviously prefer highly medicalised births and some are more holistic in their approach. My CMW, for example, told me that the hospital "wouldn't let me" have a trial of labour and would insist that I had another c-section. She was a bit miffed when I said that they couldn't force me to have a section if I didn't want one.

Good Luck with it, I'm sure you'll get your home birth.

Thanks all. Not a lot of time, so I read your post later renaissance. Excited about the VBAC- disappointed that I was not allowed to try with DD but hey ho.
Fluttery babies- I felt DD really early- perhaps it's more to do with how active baby is, but you also know what to look for after the first so I don't know. I felt dd at around 14 weeks, DS around 16.

Hanaflower thank you... It's just what renaissance's mw said... oh god i'm obsessed. I just feel that I am so lucky to be prg that at any moment it is going to be snatched away from me I think it is also the fact that as my symptoms have gone since last scan i just want to see my baby again and know all is fine. 1 week to go.

Did anyone on here conceive with Clomid??

No i don't get offended. Only if someone is horrible to me then i cry!

It's a funny feeling. LIMBO is the word to describe it but i suppose it is just what a lot of ladies on here feel too so we'll see what next Wednesday brings.

xx

Renaissance, have have many sympathies with you. On the whole I am BIG fan of the NHS, but like anywhere, experiences can be based upon particular personalities. My old consultant was adamant that VBAC would be wrong for me and my baby and booked me straight for elcs. Now he's retired the new consultant I saw said from my notes I was not given the options and associated risks to make my own informed decision and he would support me if I wanted a VBAC- considering this is 2 sections later I imagine it will be a heavily monitored affair.
I was very ill for my last two pregnancies and since I feel a lot better this time, I was able to make my concerns heard, which has paid dividends. Some midwives I saw last time were also less than sympathetic to how I was feeling and one had me in tears, but others were fab.
I think you will have much more support from the community midwives for a home birth.

Lovely news Pinky you have mad a lot of ladies on here (waiting for our scans) jealous
Next week looks like a busy week for dating scans so roll on. My scan is on Wed - i can't wait!!

What time is yours Lolabella and how far will you be?

Not long to wait now, Lola. I'll have to wait til 20 weeks now for another scan, or even to hear a heartbeat, but it is a relief to see the little butterbean with it's heart fluttering away!

Mine is next wed at 6.00Pm (private scan) i will be 12 weeks and 3 days. Went private because STILL no sign of NHS scan. You have yours that day too right Pinkali? what time is it?

limbo is the correct word pinkali. It's OK for us multi-gravidas we kind of know what to expect, but for first time mums it's an odd time....I can't imagine how women survived before the advent of parenting sites....and scans. My big sis has a 23 and 21 year old. She never had any scans as her consultant thought they were new fangled nonsense . they weren't available routinely then and only used if a problem was suspected.

Not too sure what time mine is as the official letter has not come through yet but was told by mw over the phone. Need to ring tomorrow if i haven't heard anything. they are usually around 11am.

lola call the hospital.. I did on Monday to be told my appointment was next Monday. I haven't seen a letter about it at all.

Are you Leeds as well?

My mum who has a 32 year old and myself at 29 said that pregnancy has become so complicated and worrying for women because we have too much knowledge and medical intervention available to us. She said in her day, you would go to the doctors, tell him you were pregnant and then just get on with it. I'm not sure which system i'd prefer?

It's abit of a double-edged sword, I think. A lot of monitoring can work both ways. On the other hand I do know a very sad tale of my mums best friend in the days before scans.

I was told by my MW that hospital running behind and i might not get one until i'm 15 weeks!! Im In York so not too far from you. I was gonna give it till the end of the week and then call. Good job you called though

Lola that's crazy! I know they've all but given up on the 'wait for a letter' approach here; all my appointments have been made whiilst II'm there.

Afternoon ladies

I was just wondering how far you have to travel to hospital. With my 2 DC I lived 5 mins round the corner from the hospital so the car journey whilst I was in labour was no big deal. Since then I've moved and my nearest hospital is 40 mins away. I'm terrified now of being stuck in a car whilst in labour. I also labour very quickly so even making it that far is another concern. Can anyone put my mind at rest.