Due June 2005, Thread 4

[Scraggyaggy]

Happy New Year everyone!

Following Katzguk's suggestion I've started up the new thread - hope no-one minds.

Well, I did absolutely nothing for New Year. I have the cold from hell so I was in bed by 9pm. I was very disappointed as we were supposed to be going to a party but I decided not to go as I wouldn't have enjoyed myself and then I'd have made dp miserable too. So, I celebrated by having a lemsip topup at 12 o'clock! (One for the books!) Hope you all had a nice time.

Have been reading your threads about what to buy and what not to buy. I started buying after Christmas as I want to start really enjoying this pregnancy now. Dp is incredibly worried that something will go wrong and we are tempting fate but I don't want to be walking on egg shells for the next 5 months .... yup 5 months already!!! Scary stuff!

Anyway, we have bought a Graco travel system as I have spent hours in the shops clipping and unclipping and puttin them up and down and I found Graco to be lightweight and really simple to use. Then I trawled the internet on boxing day and found that Toys'r'Us was doing some good deals.

Cot is going to be an Ikea special. They are so cheap, I just don't think you can argue and we are big fans of Ikea. However, if anyone has any experiences of this then let me know. We aren't bothering with the moses basket.

I've got a 2-way baby carrier from e-bay, which is still new apparently, although I haven't received it yet so I'll hold bck on judgement.

And then the mumsnet wanted and for sale boards are fantastic. I've got a bottle warmer and a travel cot through mumsnet. I'd reommend that anyone here use them.

There are three things which I need help with though:

• steriliser; microwave or electric??? Any opinions?
• breast pump; is there one which is comfortable and easy to use? I don't want to spend a fortune and then not be able to use it.
• baby monitor; I definitely want one. Am planning on sitting in the garden over the summer, and baby might not want to be moved. Should I get a normal one? A digital one? Has anyone used an under mattress sensor type one? Need big help with this one.

Have bought myself some books on motherhood and new babies too. Am such a planner, I need to be having a good read now so I can put all the theory to practice in 5 months time!

Hope you are all well and not being sick any more! x

Charley - you have nothing to worry about. I have put on about half a stone!! I'm going to be HUGE by June!!!!

As for the food thing, I have to confess that I am one of those, that does eat things a couple of days out of date - if it smells and looks ok. Dp won't have it now - he says that half of baby is his and he doesn't want his half getting contaminated!!!! LOL!

Hey KAtz, can you translate your maternity leave scheme to me? I need to start thinking about all this paperwork, but I'm totally new to the business and it all sounds greek to me. I thought we only have one type of maternity leave....
TIA

Charley, I have gained 11 lbs by week 19. I am pretty happy with it, since I think I have gained 15 by this time with my first....
I was very worried the first time to get enough protein, since I am vegetarian. But this time around I just decided my body knows best and I will eat when I am hungry. As long as it is not all cake and chocolate, it should be what is needed! For me at leats, the more I worry about not eating, the more I eat!!!

having chatted to scraggy my maternity package is really good so it may not translate all that well but here goes

3 weeks annual Leave (AL)
18 weeks full pay maternity leave (MP)
8 statutory maternity pay (SMP)
2/3 weeks annual leave (AL)

means for me leaving on the 9th of May and returning on 12/19th Dec depending on the how long i take after.

Not sure how much SMP is.

the form i have to fill in is for work so again it won't apply unless you work where i do. but you will need to get a MAT B1 form from your GP or MW

Thanks Katz! That is helpful!
I thought since you are a lecturer too, we might have a similar situation. But it seems like my university is quite liberal, or I am very confused! I got the impression I can have 6 months of full pay maternity leave, but I must be wrong given everybody else situation! Must find who is in charge of this business here and get a crash course!

i'm a PDRA not quite a lecturer yet butn on the same terms and agreemnets as one!! have a look on your personnel pages ours are all detailed there i had the choice of two packages if i had been working for 12 months before giving birth. either 18 weeks full 8 SMP or 9 weeks full, 18weeks half and 8 week SMP.

Think these are pretty normal for academic and academic-associated staff.

just being having a nosey UMISTs scheme is much better than ours 26 weeks full pay if you work for 12 months before your due date

Can I butt into the maternity pay queries.

I'm trying to negotiate a new package with my boss at the moment.

I've asked for 6 months full paid leave but hopefully we'll meet somewhere half way i.e. 6 months half paid leave.

Does anyone know - does this mean that for the first 6 weeks I'd get half my pay instead of 90% or can I choose to start the half pay when my maternity pay drops to £102.80???????

AND.......

Say I got £500 a week. Does that mean I get £102 from the government and my boss makes it up to £500 Eg by giving me £398 - or does this mean I don't claim maternity pay?!?!?!?!?!?!

Sorry for going on - I'm confussed!!!!!
There should be a helpline for this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

can't help you there sorry!! but there are websites on it i'm sure, have seen threads previously about maternity leave

Thanks for looking at my policy! As I said, most is greek to me at this point, so is really good to know I interpreted correctly! If I can only get in contact with my HR person, I will be all sorted out!

i guessed i knew you were in man plus man uni wouldn't let me in and UMIST would!! can't believe its better than mine, and i thought i had a good deal with 18 weeks full pay!! The only catch with your seems to be the same as mine that you have to have work for them for 12 months the babies born which isn't that long really, since its only 3 months before you get PG!!!

Yeah, I can't believe either! With DD1 I had 2 weeks off only! After that I set-up a crib in my office and took her to work with me until she was about 5.5 months. In US not only you don't get any paid maternity leave in most places, but you are look upon as not dedicated enough if you take without pay! Besides, I could run the chances of loosing tenure if I stayed home. It will be really weird to be allowed to stay home with my employers full blessing!

uni are great employer i have to say, very little complaint here!! although umist is more generous than sheffield

Hello everyone. SOrry I haven't been around. I am just now coming back to life from the most miserable cold I have ever known. DH and DD got it too, but theirs lasted for a day or two, and mine has gone on since New Years Day. It must be the greedy fetus selfishly sucking up my immune system. Oh well, I think I can see the light now. Hopefully tomorrow I'll actually get dressed and leave my house.

Can I also just say that I am soooooo jealous of everyone's cushy maternity packages. I get 6 weeks of 90% pay from my company. So, I plan to tack on a couple of weeks holiday for a whole two months off. I'm considering taking a third month off without pay from my employer (just the SMP from the gov.), but I might have to let my nanny go in order to pay for that. And, I think I'm not willing to let her go (as we really like her). So, probably just two months of leave for me.

One more thing, has everyone else felt the baby kick yet? I sort of have, but not really proper kicks, just that fluttery movement sensation. I think this is probably normal, but I still worry sometimes.

Another question - I'm full of them today!!!

Does anyone know the solution to this......

I intend to stop work on 10th June and have 3 weeks paid holiday. This means my "official" mat leave will start on 1st July.

My baby is due on the 6th July. If the baby comes before I've started my official maternity leave do I have to start receiving maternity pay or can I continue with my full paid holiday???????

I keep reading that 2nd timers feel baby movement earlier because they know what they are.... Can I say it is aload of ?! Or maybe I am just a bad mom... I swear I could feel the baby move by 16 weeks, and was smilling smugly of how experienced and knowledgble I was... Haven't felt a thing since then!

Hi All,

I'm glad other people have put on more weight than charlie(although I'm v. jealous). I've put on half a stone as well. Dont think christmas helped though.

Charlie/Lipstick, my dh is exactly the same. He runs me tepid baths and stares ferociously at the hot tap to check I'm not keeping it on for too long after I have gently complained. And as for eggs, he doesn't just hardboil them, he cremates them. Still, shouldn't complain. At least he cares. Oh, and i've been eating smoked salmon. Nothing is standing between me and my smoked salmon bagels . But I wouldnt trust me for my opinion on these things. I also eat nuts, shellfish, cooked blue cheese. Oh god, you are all going to be appalled with me now. I realise that this is a very subjective issue and everyone finds their own levels of what they are comfortable with, I just think that if something is going to harm the bump, it isn't going to be the odd cooked prawn or peanut butter. Bad Mother, Bad Mother.......

I'm afraid I can't be any help with all this maternity pay stuff. My company are great. They sat me down, handed me leaflets of info and told me I would get 26 weeks fully paid leave. I also had to take all annual leave before I went off, so that adds up to 7 months fully paid, which is an absolute relief to me as I'm the main breadwinner. The only stipulation is that I have to go back for 9 months after my mat. leave in order to "pay back" all the extra money that they have paid out. Its their way to stop employees having a baby and leaving. That's okay, i was planning on going back full time anyway.

I know what I forgot to ask, sorry, dizzy brain. Bubba/Sweetheart - you've both mentioned this SPD. I've been getting these pains in my pelvic bones and its sometimes uncomfortable to walk. I'm really worried as I have joint problems anyway. Is this a sympton of SPD or just a normal pgy symptom? Do you know any good sites I can read up on this?

Any advice from any of you guys is always welcomed.....

I'm also glad to hear other people are putting on weight. It wouldn't suprise me if I had put on 11lbs by week 19 either Lua the rate I'm going! I asked because I went to dp's parents over Christmas and his SIL said she didn't show at all unti 6 months and only put on 1.5 stone, his mum (a slim lady) said you could hardly tell she (his mum) was pg all the way through and "sprang" back into shape immediately afterwards. Also my friend (who I haven't seen for over a year because she moved to Ireland) who's just had her first, said she remained in her normal jeans until she was 20 weeks! So I'm sure you can imagine i was getting a bit worried at having put on nearly half a stone at 17 weeks

Scraggy/ JB - what are they like? I know that ferocious stare all too well - like when I realised I'd forgotten my phone half way down the road and ran back to get it. Bless.

Welcome back Uwila - I've just started to feel little movements too - I find it really weird and feel a bit like I've been possessed....

I can't help either with mat pay I'm afraid - don't work. It all sounds very complicated though and I don't envy you at all!

JB - MotherInferior is a bit of an expert on SPD and emailed me an article she had written for a magazine. You are welcome to CAT me so I can send you it. I bet if you started a separate thread you'd get loads of help.

Evening all, just to answer your question Lipstick. I breastfed until about 6 months (went back to work) but she had a bottle from 6 weeks - either expressed or formula a bit later on. The hospital took me through their procedures, they'd had a microbiologist in who had told them that providing everything was washed in hot soapy water and then rinsed and then air-dried (I used to put mine between 2 teatowels that were never used for anything else) that it was better than sterilising. I know it's a bit controversial for some and if I hadn't seen it done with all the equipment used to feed the little ones I wouldn't have been brave enough to do it myself. But we didn't have a single tummy upset with dd so I guess we did it right. let me know if it appeals to you and I might be able to put my hands on some sort of written evidence. Each to their own! Will chat more tomorrow - xxx to all

evening all,
feeling a little bit better today-the pain isnt so bad so im not panicking too much.jonahb-ive noticed someones started another thread on spd but the pains ive been getting are mainly on the right hand side,very low down,right in where my joints are and its been really uncomfortable to walk and sleeping has been a nightmare.ive tried sleeping with a pillow between my knees and this does seem to help-not sure if your symptons are the same.scraggy,it wasnt me.i havent bid for any baby "lots" as i didnt see any unisex ones so not guilty-LOL!
ive also put on weight-probably about 7lbs which is a bit scary as im probably the heaviest one here but theres no point in worrying about it untill after the baby is born
regarding maternity leave ive decided to leave probably at the end of april and return nov/dec.where i work we get 6wks at 90%,12 wks at SMP +50% of my wages,then a further 8 wks at SMP.dont really understand it too much but also was told i can take all of my 28 days leave + bank holidays so i should hopefully be off for about 7ish months-i think
thought stopping at 33/34 would be good for me especially as i have to use the dreaded underground and being anaemic anyway im always tired so once im heavily pg i think i'll be exhausted!
im hoping to go back to work just 2/3 days a week after the baby is born and i cant wait to be part-time
am i the only one who hasnt felt anything yet?
i read that with the first baby you might not feel nothing untill about 22 weeks but im soooo impatient that i want to feel something now!

For maternity type issues check out this site www.tiger.gov.uk/ It might be worth calling ACAS too (their number is on the homepage) as they will spend hours talking to you about all sorts of things!

Lipstick, I also never sterelize anything for DD1, except for boiling the breast pump every now and then.... Didn't even know sterelizers existed until moved to England! and american doctors are known to be over cautious...