Due June - 'I can't remember my own name, let alone where I put the creme eggs...'

[PregnantPenguin]

For those of us with 3 months to go or less....

Sophie - HURRAH! At last! I hope it was worth the wait...

It's a memory foam one not Tempur but a lot cheaper, will report back tomorrow

PAro- so very sorry to hear about your MIL. Thinking of you and in total awe of your calm attitude...

Claphamkitten- I am based in Bromley...tell me more about the aqua classes. Am no longer allowed to do pg yoga, but water might still help me get some exercise (have put on 5lbs in the last two weeks )

Re: Epidurals. I have no experience of childbirth, but am fully expecting to need one as I just don't think that breathing through it will make me feel any better about myself. I have after all, conceived (with much effort) and carried a baby for nigh-on 9 months. What more could my husband/family/friends possibly expect of me?? Plus, I plan on doing this more than once and do not wish to be traumatised.

I have put on my birth plan that I will deal with pain relief on a case-by-case basis as I may be more manly than I realise. I have also said that just because I assume I will want an epidural does not mean I want every instrumental intervention there is. (Have also mentioned that DH is a lawyer specialising in professional negligence...and my birthing partner!!)

I am takng NCT classes (£250 so better e worth it!) to meet local mums...and don't give a f...ig if they frown on me for wanting the above. HAd the same attitude with the yoga nutters at my classes- they had people come in with their birth stories and with very few exceptions, despite the breathing/natural birth mantra they opted for an epidural in the end then felt disappointed. I'd rather go in expecting one and be pleasantly surprised if I don't have one than the other way round. I have no reason to be disappointed.

Here endeth the lesson.... sorry!

Got so ranty I missed the mattress news. FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!

Makecakes - Beckenham Leisure centre run an aqua natal class on Thursday lunchtimes (12.45 - 1.30, I think.) They run in blocks of 6 apparently and I think the next one starts on 10th April, so think I might sign up... As I say, I think the course is £42 but may be worth it, especially if you can't do your preggie yoga anymore... Might see you there? x

Love your attitude makecakes - 100% spot on!

Upsidedowncake - Try and relax and enjoy your time off. I know it's hard, but even without a LO to think of, you've got to look after yourself. I've found cutting down on work incredibly hard, but ultimately worthwhile. For the first time in 10 years, my job is not dominating my life . Think about the last job you had before this one, they've survived without you (only just obviously ) and this client will too. Serves them right for being unreasonable...

First delivery for the June Mums was lengthy, but ultimately worthwhile: Sophie's got a mattress - woo hoo! What are you going to call it Sophie?

Goodness, rapid fire comments mean you can't rant for long otherwise you've missed the boat on relevance.

Paro - sorry about your MIL. Know what you mean about mixed feelings.

Sophie - congrats on the new arrival - are you going to announce it in the Times?

Upsidedowncake - now breathe deeply and forget all about those sods at work. Also chuck the blackberry away.

With ref to epidurals [long post, sorry] - I always thought I had taken a pretty realistic view to these - ie I wanted one if things got bad and took a very cynical view to the earth mothers of NCT. After 24 hours of contractions before and after induction and lots of mucking around, having an epidural was blissful and necessary becuase I was knackered and just needed to rest. Remember you can now have half body epidurals so you can move around and they let it wear off a bit so you can push.

Even so, after all the brainwashing of NCT / yoga etc, a tiny part of me feels I should have been braver for longer, which I know is absolutely ridiculous. I suppose if I had got on with gas and air better, then things might have been different, but had no pain relief apart from paracetamol, so having an epidural was amazing - I was able to sleep for the next 7 hours before I was 'needed' again!

Writing birth plans is a good way of exploring all the options, but in the end, you do have to take a flexible approach when your in the midst of everything. Don't rule anything out and make sure your birth partner really knows what you want.

Lecture over, but hope this first hand experience helps.

Fantastic news about the mattress Sophie, lets hope you get a fab nights sleep tonight!

Upsidedowncakes - you need to take care of yourself and the baby, work will be fine for a little while without you, and maybe they will appreciate you more afterwards!

Following on from the epidural debate, I had a totally natural delivery with mine. The midwife let it ease off and then I delivered without intervention so it is possible.

When I was expecting my first child, I did NCT claases (crap teacher, but met lovely people), active birth yoga etc and was pathetically devastated when I had to be induced at 41 weeks. I'm sure a lot of it was nerves and hormones, but there was definitely a bit of me that felt as though I had failed. I didn't cope well with the pain - tensed up against it. I had an epidural and the delivery was essentially ok and at the time I felt quite positive about it.

I phoned the Active Birth Centre to tell them that I'd had my baby and to offer to come in and tell my birth story. I said that it had been a positive experience of induction and epidural and might provide an interesting contrast to all the natural births people usually reported back on. I never heard back from them . It really put me off the active birth people, which is why it's taken 2 more babies for me to start thinking about non-intervention/taking control etc.

But really craply, there is still a bit of me that treats each labour like an exam re-take in the hope of coming top of the year and getting a prize. That's what a single-sex education does to you

that the Active birth people never phoned you back, but good on you for offering. No wonder you only hear positive stories!!!

The baby was fine when the doctor assessed her. Her growth and heartbeat were on the button, so that's a relief.

Work seem to be coping without me, so I shall stop worrying about it all.

xx

Upsidedowncake glad you're not worry about work - try and forget about it completely for the next week or so.

Rolf why I am I not surprised the active birth people didn't call you back . Despite my lack of research into birth stuff I do get the feeling that opinion is pretty polarised and get the impression that neither side wants to hear about positive experiences on the other side.

I've found all this chat really helpful though - from first-timers and those with first hand experience. Loving your attitude makecakes. Though cant believe your NCT classes are sooooo expensive . Mine are £135 I think and I thought that was pricey. Only had one class - the teacher said she was in between the two extremes of NCT teachers (those being mad hippies and WI types) - but from what I can gather most of the class seemed fairly interested in pain relief so here's hoping they're not all obsessed with natural birth. Everyone is having the baby at the local hospital.

Sophie - brilliant news about the mattress (having delivery traumas with JL today but will save that for another day if its not resolved soon).

Josie how were the interviews?

rolf that's really shocking! i only know one person who did the whole active birth thing and i have to admit she did it naturally and only had a 6 hour labour but she's so holier-than-thou about it i refused to even try it. probably silly but it really annoys me!! i'm hoping to have a different experience this time but for me it's about being at home more than having or not having drugs. i had gas & air and epi with ds and don't regret it one bit - i just want to be in the comfort of my own home and that means no epi so that's where the hypnobirthing comes in (i hope!!)

sophie here's to you having a great sleep tonight, you deserve it after all the rigmarole!

upsidedowncake it's really good you're getting this opportunity to look after yourself. it's easy when you're involved in work to forget how everything affects the baby and your poor hard-working body! hope you get lots of rest.

josie hope the interview(s) went well!

ernest my dentist appointment was good, he said i need to work on my flossing at the back (and showed me how) and i had a cleaning which was wonderful. my teeth feel great and it cost under £50 for exam and cleaning! i'm so chuffed i went to a private dentist, so so so much nicer than my old nhs one. anyway thank you so much for the kick up the backside it was very needed and appreciated!

BB really interesting birth story thanks for sharing it.

Evening all

Sorry to hear about your MIL Paro. At least she had a dignified end and your DH could be with her.

Sophie, glad you got your mattress at last! Our buggy arrived today A Britax Vigour 3+ for those still researching. First impressions are excellent. Am chuffed with all the bits it comes with. Easy to put up and down (although needs two hands). V intuitive and seems well built but, we will see...

Re the whole epidural question. I've also read the lack of mobility/ sensation from epidurals can slow contractions and make them hard to feel and respond to, leading to the 'cascade of intervention'.

But it occured to me today that, surely if a woman uses an epidural as a 'last resort' during labour she is already exhausted/ in too much pain, and her ability to continue labour without assistance even without an epidural would be compromised anyway.
Because of this I don't see how it's possible to be sure that it's the epidural that makes intervention more likely, or whether it's just the drop in energy/ pain threshold of the labouring woman.
So, even though my gut reaction was to be 'against' epidurals I'm starting to think the issue is more complicated than either the active birth school, or the pro-medicalisation school would have us think.

Right, off to watch Ashes to Ashes. Night!

Sorry I haven't been on for a while. It's been a bit hectic what with Easter and everything.

Went to a birthday party on Friday for one of Ds's little friends and ended up holding an 8 month old @ 22lbs. Since then my back has been completely buggered. I have cramps and spasms behind my kidney area and whilst it's not pain, it is incredibly uncomfortable.

Am just a little worried as it was around this time last time I got sciatica (yes mine was properly diagnosed) and to be honest I have had the occasional numbness and tingling and shooting pains down my left leg although nothing compared to last time - yet!

I just think the muscles in my back haven't fully recovered from the spinal operation I had last May when I had implants put in between my vertebrae to prevent them from trapping the sciatic nerve following prolapsed discs (all stemming from my first pregnancy.

Still trying to do my pilates but am now getting quite big and very uncomfortable out front. I've been having Braxton Hicks for a couple of weeks now. I certainly don't remember them with DS, well not this early on anyway (26+2).

I must try and exercise more I know but to be honest after a 9 hour day at work, coming home and dealing with DS, cooking tea, keeping house etc. etc. I am shattered and I'm not planning on stopping until 38 weeks.

I know I need to do something as my spinal consultant has said no C section whatsoever unless it is a matter of life and death due to having has my back muscles and ligaments detached. They won't be fully repaired for 2 years so the last thing I need is having my stomach muscles cut as well.

God this is moan city! Sorry guys.

Just having a down moment or three.

Sorry about MIL Para and sophie glad you've finally got your mattress.

We bought a memory foam mattress after my surgery last year and it has been the best thing. Managed to go through 12 hours straight sleep on it the other night, although I was on pain killing meds which knocked me out a bit.

So sorry to hear about your MIL Paro - glad your dp was there with her. (((((hugs))))

Sophie - hope you're enjoying your 1st nights sleep on the mattress

Libralady - you still after travel insurance? - someone put a link on to one yesterday if you look back.

Just back from picking up the family, shopped with Sil and got some new mat clothes -lovely linen trousers and a couple of tops - notmat but i think will fit me now and after the birth for easy bfeeding. Family have unpacked and I now have some lovely newborn clothes for this baby, nighties for hospital, a breast pump and some lansinoh cream - hey I'm nearly ready!!!Mil has bought me a dozen creme eggs

Deb - enjoy your time with your in IL's and your easter eggs.

Good Morning all, lovely nights sleep last night, DD and the dog both approve of the mattress, can highly reccomen one. Also had a good day on Ebay and finally have a matching set of dining chairs and table and a lovely sideboard. Very exciting.

Have a good day everyone

Sophie - great about the ebay bargain! I'm still sulking about losing out on some gorgeous curtains on ebay. I was beaten in the last second by £1, presumably by someone who has that clever software.

Deb - head in sand over you being prepared! Still done nothing! And enjoy your creme eggs.

DM - glad about your teeth. I'm going to get mine checked too.

Greenfairy - good point about epidurals. It can be a wonderful way of just regrouping and recovering some energy. IME one shouldn't underestimate how restrictive a drip can be. I had a venflon in my hand when having DD and although it's not connected up to anything it did make quite a big difference to how easily I could move around. And with the epidural (had one with DS1), becuase you are on a drip, you really do lose a lot of freedom to move. Might be just me though. And with DD I really did learn the hard way that once you are on a certain "track" it's very very easy for interventions to escalate.

My digestion has gone totally haywire. After having a day vomiting last week, I had such bad heartburn that I couldn't really eat anything. Then started feeling better and eating only to have a revolting evening of eggy burps (is that a term of art or a family expressoins ?). And this morning feeling really queasy and keep going to the loo. I don't think it's a bug - I think my body is just not coping with anything other than very bland food so I guess that's what I'd better stick to. Such a shame as DH bought some lovely (pasteurised) soft cheese the other day...

We had the first hypnotherapy session last night and it went really well. DH turned up on time and joined in, bless him, even though it's really not his kind of thing. I think it helped that the lady doing it is a midwife and not at all "alternative". She asked me about my other labours and had some really good suggestions for my birth plan. DH was talking about my previous labours and he remembered things that I just had no recollection of. I remember everyone shouting at me to push and that I hated it. DH remembers that it was because i would pretend to push but really do nothing so they would all look at each other then start yelling at me .

What I hadn't expected was that I felt quite weepy. In the past I've just handed myself over to the HCPs and I guess that trying to take more control over things involves thinking about bits of previous labours that I have found difficult or frightening.

Libralady - sounds awful about your poor back.

Right, must attend to my neglected chldren! The weather here is horrible so we're strugging to find things to do, with still another full week of the hols to go!

Morning

Para really sorry to hear about your MIL.

Sophie congrats on the mattress hope you got a good sleep

Re Epidurals well I only want to avoid one because I had a spinal(slightly diff I know) after for repair and I ended up with not being able to feel my bladder for the best part of 2 years. I only knew when I needed a wee when my trousers got so tight and I would remember I hadnt been for 4/5hours.
I was in shock at my SIL how went hysterical when she got her show and a mild contraction and was given an Epidural straight away, she was still in the normal ward and they had to admit her to labour as she just flipped. We are all different though.

We need to remember as long as our babies are fine and we will recover every birth is a PERFECT BIRTH.

Hi. bit quiet here today!

Sophie, glad the mattress turned up.

Really interesting to hear all the thoughts on epidurals. The downside for me is there are no guarantees (I know there are none in any of this messy business!) - it might be fine, and you might not end up with loads of intervention, but you might. But would you have needed those interventions anyway, with or without epidural/pain relief? There's just no way of knowing.

Libralady, hope you're ok. Poor you.

Makecakes, agree with what you said - apart from the being more manly bit! If you were being manly, you'd be screaming for all of the drugs the moment you felt a twinge .

Deb - ah Happy Shopping and enjoy the gifts (well, mebbes not the breast pump).

Have finally given up on my real clothes and into mat gear now. More comfy, but no hiding the bump any more - it gets into a room well before I do!

Hello everyone, been really busy doing the nursery so not had much time to catch up.

I'm not on that due date list and i'm not sure how to add myself so my due date is 13th june!

I am going to start the NHS ante-natal classes next week and exited. I did look at the NCT ones but i can't justify the money, i could get so many baby things for that.

As a first timer, i plan to go in with an open mind and start small i.e. gas and air, TENS, then slowly work up to the larger stuff. I was talking to a midwife at work about pain relief and she said "oh a couple of paracetamol and a TENS machine and that will be enough" i laughed in her face and asked if she had given birth herself, and i wasn't surprised when she said No coz she looked about 10yrs old. I have heard about a walking epidural where you get the relief, but you still have movement and able to fill when to push, so i am going to ask the hospital about that one.

I have the mind set that i will do anything and take everything to get my baby into the world safely and quickly.

No one ever talks about after pains, anyone with advice on this?

Just be prepared for anything, My MW siad that I should have a good labour as wasn't worried and everything was progressing well in pregnancy, was induced, which didn't start labour and registrar thought best decision would be a section as although DD has a strong heartbeat, the varaitions weren't enough and she would become distressed if they continued labour and would end up in emergency section. Hence this time round booked in for elective.

Oh and don't feel guilty. I know it is difficult to say but at the end of the day all we want is a safely delivered baby and a healthy mummy.

It is quiet today - done a trolley dash with sil this morning for the food for the weekend , then raced home to take mil to the Dr as she arrived last night hardly able to move with a bad back - so she's dosed up now!

Tried all my new clothes on and they're great, just about to eat chocolate and put my feel up whilst dh and bil take rubbish to the tip.

Tonight sil and bil are cooking so a night off for me!!
Hope everyone's OK,

I found after pains worse after the 2nd so I'm not looking forward to them this time round - no advice really, they don't last too long.

Wombat - with my first the after pains weren't bad. With my 2nd they were agony - felt worse than the labour I think! With my 3rd I anticipated them being awful so asked for pain relief in advance and when they were stitching me up they gave me a suppository.

I think they are supposed to get worse with each baby.

I'm with you on the NCT classes wombat, decided that they sounded a bit too expensive and I'll stick with the NHS ones! I start mine on Wednesday, so might be regretting the decision to stick with it after that!
Am also with you on the open mind thing, although as a medical type, I am probably more pro epidural at an earlier date than most! I'm pretty sure that between DH and I we can argue our case for avoiding unnecessary intervention and becoming more medicalised than necessary, but a little too much insider knowledge makes you more worried about the 'things that can go wrong' side of things!

I guess my decision on an epidural will also be swayed by whether or not I kow the anaesthetist and trust them!