August Due Date Crew - Where Are You?

[AnnieApple123]

Just wondered how everyone is doing as September draws to a close? Missing hearing from you all.

My big boy has started nursery and is settling well. We’re hoping to be able to do a PGD cycle before Xmas for a summer baby next year. Please keep everything crossed for us.

@Miraclesdohappen88

@MidnightSunshine12
@Spiralout
@DesertSnow , @Mulner88 @Porcupette , @Loudmouth1 @overwork
@BusyBushBaby @jjeanii @CityKity @SnowL2021 @sprollie11 , @ChloeN
@PumpkinEverything , @Chl0o @LS88 @BMK @Alpacabag22 @Amme18 @DomesticElf
@LBF2020 @Desperatelyboredhousewife @BoodifulGoose
@buttercupbee @somuchtolearnabout @Rowanandremy , @TattyTil
@marleyandme
@RGxo13 , @JT2021 @Wineismybestfriend
@VickiGo @Sjw30 @AlexM7
@tax19 @nadsc @Rose05 @sally16
@newmummie ,
@Babykingincoming
@Gizzyanne
@Recoba
@Narwhal88@jollydollyirl @cococat88
@sommeliermama @EsmeSusanOgg
@Firsttimemomma1 @P1pk @Marmaladebear @Stuwe @MartaEly
@BB1993 @BCxx @Justdancinginthedark @honeymirabella @allgoodthings84
@MinnieFirstTimeMum @Owlgirl14
@Daisy155
@unluckyinlife
@MummaYoung2023 @Wife2b @HRSC
@ropo34
@Shinea
@chickpea1982
@froglou

@CityKity You're so kind to ask after us, thank you. We're doing well - things are a lot more stable now. Luna is climbing up the centiles - she was born on 3rd and is now 75th! They think it's down to the placenta performing poorly so I'm very relieved to have got her here safe and sound. Luna sleeps well at night and I've just managed to get her into a bit more of a day routine which is a relief. My sleep isn't great, but significantly better than it was. Luna is amazing and I just love her more every day, but I totally get what you mean about the lack of freedom. Luna is also EBF and it would sometimes be nice to just get out and about more easily like my husband does!

@LS888 I'm sorry to hear that about your friends. Have you reached out? I guess at this time of year people are always really busy as well. Yeah I think most of the chat is on the WhatsApp group now but I have no hope of keeping up with that!

@AnnieApple123 I've also been wondering how you are doing xx

@LS888 I totally know what you mean about struggling to see regular friends. It’s like all the new baby excitement is over and no one really feels they should check in anymore which is understandable I suppose. I’m also lucky with my nct group and gym ladies that I see once a week, and also do think this time of year is tricky to catch people.

My little one is rolling a lot atm and yup the nappy changes are a lot wrigglier than they used to be! It’s crazy leaving him in the room for a second and seeing him on his front, makes me mildly terrified of the crawling stage. I’m sure the rolling is part of the reason that our night sleep has gotten a bit worse recently.

@DesertSnow 75th!!! That’s absolutely amazing, I’m so happy she’s doing so well, what an absolute trooper. Would you mind sharing your day routine? We’re still a bit all over the shop, which I don’t think is helping the night sleep. Some days he’ll only do 25min cat naps all day, and others he’ll do three blocks of 1.5hrs.

For us general bedtime is 7:30pm-6:30am with 3 wake ups to feed (best case). First nap is usually around 8-9:30 but the rest of the day is totally random. His wake windows have definitely increased to 2/2.5hrs recently, but when he’s had a worse night I can tell he’s more tired in the day and doesn’t last very long between naps.
Have you also got into a feeding routine? I’d love to and this is something a friend of mine has achieved but seems so tricky when EBF

@CityKity Sure! (Also I think being all over the shop is fine if that's what's working). I go by wake windows rather than specific times apart from wake up.

9am - wake (this is probably later than most but it seems to work best for us all after trialling different times) followed by nappy, change of clothes, feed.

Daily walk at 10.30 with the aim of getting her nap in. At the moment she's falling asleep 15 minutes in on average, so I keep walking till she's napped for 45 minutes (unless she wakes on her own before). Nappy and feed.

Wake window of 2-2 1/4 hours (depending on how her night and morning sleeps were).

Nappy, feed and then 'lunchtime' nap (usually around 1-1.30). Aim for 2 hours but we don't always get that!

Nappy, feed. Wake window of 2.5 hours (2 1/4 if her lunchtime nap was bad).

Feed and contact nap of 15-30 minutes.

Wake window 2 hours, less if she's cranky.

Bedtime routine - bath, massage, pyjamas, feed (this is usually a very long one, like 50 minutes), sing, put her down.

I should say we've only been doing it for a week but it's been a real game changer. Getting some time to myself during the lunchtime nap is a godsend. Also we've been using cry it out which I know isn't for everyone, but has also been a game changer. I was reluctant to try it but she only cries for a few minutes when I put her down for lunchtime nap and self settles quickly, and she hasn't been crying at the bedtime put down at all.

On top of those feeds she will sometimes want others (might explain why she's shot up the centiles 😂). It's definitely difficult to stick to a feeding routine when EBF.

Also I should add that not all of this routine always goes to plan! Today she wasn't going for the afternoon nap at all so we have a cranky baby tonight.

Oh I'm sorry you're feeling isolated, I've been so lucky in that I seen to have got pregnant in the midst of a several of my friends also being pregnant. Hopefully your friend has a successful IVF cycle and you get back on track with her.
I'm also struggling with the EBF now - I was determined that I was going to bottle feed for this exact reason, but the baby came with his own ideas. We have started to have luck with expressed milk, warmed up, in 1 particular brand of bottle so I'm clinging to that tiny success, but I find pumping hard.
Sleep has gone to pot this last week, we were at 12 hours sleep with 2 feeds at 2am & 5am but the regression hit us at the same time as he started rolling plus, his Dad has a cold and his snoring is horrific. So I'm not getting any sleep at all! I'd kick him out (Dad that is, not the baby), but our flat is so small he's no where to go.
I'm also struggling with how weak I am, I've been to a couple of gym classes (+ baby), and I feel so useless, I still have back pain too. I did see something today which says it takes your body 1.5 - 2 years to recover which made me feel a bit better

@DesertSnow Thanks so much for sharing, I can definitely see what a game changer it is, our days are all over the shop, so having some structure would be good. I’d kill for a 9am wake up, unfortunately baby boy seems to love an early start (unlike his parents). Do you wake Luna from her naps or just let her nap until she wakes herself?
To be honest I’ve been taking the easy road and feeding the baby to sleep most of the time, unless he’s napping in the sling or buggy.
I’ve only recently been trying to get him to nap in the cot and it’s going okay, but only lasts ~25mins compared to contact naps/sling/buggy when he can easily nap over 1.5hr. Some days I spend longer trying to get him down in the cot than the nap itself 😫. I’m not against trying cry it out, and essentially that’s what I do in the buggy as he doesn’t love it but then does eventually settle down for a nap, but in the cot he get more and more worked up and frantic so any crying out just makes things worse.

@overwork what bottle finally working for you?! We’ve tried Mam and tommee tippee before basically giving up. The weird thing is baby did take the Mam
bottle when he was around 10weeks old in the car, but it’s never happened since (car or no car). Next I’m going to try a sippy cup instead and see if that’s enough to give me a bit of a break and let DH take over a feed here and there.
Exactly the same sleep situation here, we did have 12hrs with 2 feeds at around 2/5am but it’s all gone completely tits up post rolling. It’s amazing how rubbish I feel with just 1/2 additional wake ups in the night.
I know what you mean about feeling weak. I’m doing one gym class a week plus one run but that’s very far from my old routine. I tell myself I’ll do a workout after babies bed time but I’m so shattered by that point, it’s the last thing I want!

So good to hear from everyone. Funnily enough I’d just been thinking about updating before Xmas. No success for us yet but we’re hoping to do another embryo transfer early in the new year.

@CityKity That must be really difficult for both you and your friend. I’ve been on both sides of that situation in a way as I had a friend who got pregnant at pretty much exactly the same time I did with DS1. Yet she miscarried whilst I went to term. I really struggled with knowing how much to contact her as I was so aware that I’d be a reminder of where she would have been, yet I didn’t want her to feel like I’d moved on without her or forgotten her either. I missed our friendship and felt a real loss that we weren’t getting to do things at the same time after all. Happily she did eventually go on to have her DD and we are close again now.

@LS88 Much sympathy. It’s so hard when friends are at different life stages. I found maternity leave very isolating too, which made me sad as it was something I’d looked forward to so much. As you say, this isn’t the best time of year for socialising now. I really hope things pick up for you a bit more in January. How long do you have off work?

@DesertSnow I’ve been thinking of you too. That’s incredible growth for Luna! Did you ever find a private therapist to work with? I’m still seeing the same psychologist I started seeing at 20 weeks pregnant. I’m doing really well with her now but it’s taken a while I’d say for us to figure out how best to work together.

@overwork Lovely to hear from you too. xx

Ah @AnnieApple123 I didn't want to ask, but I'm sending you all the best wishes for January's attempt. Lovely to hear from you and I hope you are doing well.
@CityKity it's a Nuk bottle. He has their dummy's too, I don't know if that helps. He's taken one again today so I'm really hopeful we've cracked it now (though my lovely friend got her little boy happily taking bottles and arranged a night out with pals, but she had to come rushing home as he just would not take it at night.
They're contrary little things, aren't they?
I feel like I should make a deal with him, I'll breast feed you most of the time for another year, if you would just please take a bottle sometimes and give your poor Mum a little break!

@CityKity I'm enjoying her 9am wake ups but expect it's just a phase! Sometimes she wakes up on her own from naps, but other times I wake her. I was doing feed to sleep till a week ago when we started on the routine, but transfer was getting basically impossible so we decided to try something different.

@AnnieApple123 I'm so glad it's going well with your therapist. I'm on a second round of CBT on the NHS but have mixed feelings about it to be honest.

We are following a routine too and so far (touch wood!) it is working very well. Just switched from BF to solely FF now. But she didn’t seem to mind - such a greedy girl will drink anything!

Our routine is something like this but can vary a bit day to day depending on what we are doing:

She has a bottle at 7.30/8 depending on what time she wakes. A nap 9-10ish. Another bottle at 10.30/11 ish. Then a nap at 12.30/1 for as long as possible try to resettle her if she wakes early to get a long nap here. Then a bottle at 2/2.30. Third nap usually between 4-5. Then bath at 5.30/5.45. And wind down for bed and put her to bed anywhere between 6.30 and 7 depending on how well she has slept during the day. She then has a final bottle at 11pm ish but I don’t wake her if she is sleeping. I set an alarm for midnight and then wake her then if she hasn’t already as that hottie sees her through until the morning now. She hasn’t had an extra feed for the last week but used to have a bottle at 3/4am. I now just settle her again if she wakes at this time. She usually stirs again around 5/6am but I cuddle her back to sleep and the earlier I feed her is 7am. Seems to work for us. I have followed the routine from the blissful baby expert who someone recommended on the Facebook/whatsapp group.

Also feeling so weak! By this stage last time I think I was a bit fitter but I haven’t done anything yet and also have a really sore back (I think partly from hunching over too much) 🙄

So nice to read all your updates 😊 I have been missing this chat too! I read a thing on instagram before about how when babies hit that 3-4 month point everyone else seems to have moved on and forgot you have a baby and you’re still just kind of plodding along juggling everything without much help!

Im still pumping (never know whether to say exclusively pumping because it’s not, I do give formula too but just don’t ever breastfeed). I planned to stop a long time ago but seem to just be stumbling on and on 😂 I’ve cut it back to 3 times a day now which is so much more manageable. It was every 2-3 hours at one point and I felt like I had to do it before I went anywhere or I’d majorly leak but now can go 8 hours+ and I’m fine. Also means I can have the odd drink now after I’ve done the last one of the day!

No rolling here yet other than the occasional roll from front to back. Sleep is going well though, night times have been great for the last few weeks, almost never wakes in the night now and goes down about 8ish. Day times involve a bit more faff or a walk but really can’t complain on that front at all.

Not really feeling like I’ve got myself back yet post baby. Still just so weak and wobbly, sore back and never get a chance to make myself look presentable 🙈 I’m hoping to try to do a few little bits of exercise this month then start a fresh in January. It’s so easy not to prioritise yourself and feel like the day ends yet again and you haven’t done any exercise but I think I am going to have to put it higher up the list!

@AnnieApple123 aww fingers crossed for the next one, was really hoping to see some good news as I read through all the updates there 🤞🏻

Just logged into mumsnet out of curiosity and so nice to see these messages! Also so nice to see that everyone else seems to be in the same situation as me - makes me feel less alone! A lot of my friends have had babies in the last few months but sadly I live in a different country to them so don’t have anyone to hang out with on maternity leave, at least anyone who’s at the same stage as me.

Also not feeling back to myself yet either (although I’ve recently been able to fit back into my pre pregnancy jeans which I’m thrilled about!!) but so wobbly and so much flabby, wrinkly skin and stretch marks on my tummy. I got severe diastasis recti in the 3rd trimester and have been on a v intense physio journey postpartum. My physio says it’s the worst case she’s seen which is fun for me!! 🫠 will have to have surgery when I’m done having babies…

Sleep has been a bit up and down here too. Niamh got a cold a few weeks ago and life got turned upside down! We didn’t sleep for about 2 weeks which was exhausting. (I’m blaming people kissing her. Why do people do this??? No one asked me if they could - of course my answer would’ve been no! It infuriates me!!!) but luckily she seems to be better now. Right in time to meet a whole load more family over the Christmas period! Really hoping she doesn’t pick anything else up!

I’ve also started following a routine recently which has saved my sanity. EBF here too with occasional bottles (she went on a bottle strike a month ago which was stressful but seems to be reluctantly taking them now when she’s hungry) at the start I was adamant that I’d only breastfeed but now I have to say I’m thinking of introducing some formula soon - would just love some freedom. As someone said earlier, slightly resent my husband when I have to get up each time at night and he can stay snoring in bed 😒 she usually wakes up 1 or 2 times a night which I know is good considering but just would absolutely love to have a good nights sleep soon! Although earlier this week she slept from 7pm-7am which was incredible, however, I had the worst nights sleep ever!! Woke up so many times and then was convinced something awful had happened! Went and stood outside her door trying to listen for signs of breathing!🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ (we have evicted her from our room and now she sleeps in her own room which has been a total game changer) when she wakes up I take the easy way out too and feed her to sleep but we are going to sleep train after Christmas as I’m desperate for her to self settle. Any tips of how to do this??

Sorry for the v long rambling message and well done if you’ve read this far! So nice to hear from everyone and hope you all have a wonderful first Christmas with your little ones 💖

Wishing you lots of luck @AnnieApple123 and have my fingers crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞

@HRSC have never understood the kissing thing! Don’t get why anyone would even want to kiss a baby that isn’t theirs or why they wouldn’t stop themselves 🙄 Our little one was in hospital a few weeks ago with RSV shortly after someone had kissed her funnily enough. When you see the needles etc a small baby has to go through it really makes you wonder why you’d think it was okay!

I have diastasis recti too but haven’t been in touch with a physio yet. I’ve followed a video online and it’s at least a 3 finger gap but don’t think I’m very qualified to be assessing it 🤣 I download plans to fix it then don’t do it so I think I’m going to have to see a physio. Is yours private or nhs?

@BCxx oh goodness poor you and your poor baby! 😢 I hope all is ok now? That sounds so scary and awful. I completely agree with you about the kissing. I really don’t understand why people do that. I would never kiss anyone else’s baby, especially without asking! People don’t understand how seriously babies can get sick. We’re staying with my husbands family this Christmas and I’ve got my mother in law to let everyone know about the no kissing rule - so far so good. I really don’t want her to get ill again!

I had a 5 finger wide and 2 finger deep gap both above and below my belly button. The top part has now closed but the bottom is still open. The physio is sooo boring and I have so many exercises to do each day at home but it is having an effect. So I live in Portugal and my health insurance is paying for it (luckily as it’s €50 a session twice a week!) If you are able to see a physio, it is worth it. The exercises are one part of it, but we also do radiotherapy, laser therapy, micro-needling and use the physio tape too.

Aww 🥰 lovely to read these updates merry Christmas to you all xx

@BCxx @HRSC i don’t understand why people feel the need to kiss someone’s baby!

what I don’t like is strangers in the shops keep stroking my baby’s face! They will ask how old she is and then proceed to plant their fingers right across her face one even pinched her little nose! And some people get so close to her face and I don’t get it at all. I try my best to look unapproachable but it doesn’t work! Now I always have the plastic cover over the pram.

I know they can’t help it but it’s not their baby to touch like that and my husband also finds it strange so he tends to carry her in a baby carrier if he does go out with her!

Now she has a Bronchitis we spent Christmas in the hospital where she was monitored since the 24th and finally this is the first day at home resting! She is so much better today she even breastfed for 10 minutes which she hadn’t done the past 2 days as she was refusing to breastfeed.

Doctors had to give her some electrolytes yesterday through a syringe as they were so close to drip feed her! But glad she has had lots of wet nappies today!

Health wise I was told I am now prediabetic because I had gestational diabetes back to back the past 2 years! And PCOS which causes insulin resistance. So I was at a high risk and I have been eating very healthy, so I was shocked but I have started exercising more and started loosing weight and I have a blood test in January so hopefully I am no longer prediabetic!

Oh @Daisy155 that sounds scary. I do so hope your little one has made a full recovery now. Hope the blood test goes well for you too.

Just a quick update to say, it’s very early days but this weekend I tentatively joined the October 2024 thread over on the pregnancy board 😉. I’m really hoping I get to stay this time and that they turn out to be as lovely as you lot. Please keep everything crossed for me.

Lots of love and Happy 2024 to all! xxx

@AnnieApple123 im so happy for you!!! 💖

Wow @AnnieApple123 thats amazing news- so pleased for you and keeping everything crossed! Such lovely news to start the new year with. Please do keep us updated ☺️

@AnnieApple123 Congratulations! That’s amazing news. What a lovely way to start the year. Hope your pregnancy goes well ❤️

@AnnieApple123 this is absolutely brilliant news, I am so thrilled for you. Wishing you all the best! Please keep us updated if you wish

@AnnieApple123 Congratulations! I'm thrilled for you. Keeping everything crossed for you. Would love to hear your updates if you're happy to do so.

Aaaaaghhh!!!!! So so so so DELIGHTED for you!!!!!!! Absolutely thrilled!!!!! I still can't read any other posts but can at least reply!! This would have been a lovely Christmas present for you but perhaps it's a Christmas baby,winkgrin. Congrats again!!