April 2023 - We’re nearly half way! ✨ 🍼

[Cuppasoupmonster]

New thread! Hopefully this one will see us through 20 week scans and crossing the halfway point! 💕

As ever if you’re missing from the list give me a shout and I will add you:

Cuppasoupmonster second baby 7th (induction 37w) 💖
Milkandfenty third baby 1st 💛
Searchingtheskies second baby 2nd 💛
Biscuitsplease first baby 2nd 💖
Chocolat first baby 3rd 💛
Bluebubbles12 second baby 4th 💛
Erber third baby 4th 💛
CariadBB first baby 5th 💛
Skylark1990 second baby 7th 💛
Melissa2023 first baby 8th 💙
Tubbytele second baby 14th (CS 39w) 💛
Alwaysseeingstars first baby 9th 💛
Lj2022 first baby 10th 💖
Emeal123 second baby 11th 💙
DBS94 first baby 11th 💙
tattlytote second baby 12th 💛
Bernesemum first baby 12th 💛
Lid88 second baby 13th 💛
Ncbn first baby 14th 💙
Kennadams fourth baby 16th 💛
Margo34 second baby 16th💛
Aliceinslumberland first baby 16th (CS 39w) 💙
Appleandcheese first baby 18th 💛
Xalexandra first baby 20th 💛
Piggybean first baby 20th 💛
Tropicana1 second baby 20th 💛
Puddingbear 27th (CS 39w) 💛
Springblooms08 first baby 21st 💛
Hannah223344 first baby 21st 💙
Gilm0reGirl second baby 21st 💛
Pommy1 first baby 22nd 💖
Deek88 second baby 24th 💛
Marshmallowmountain first baby 25th 💖
LauraA31 first baby 26th 💛
Peachesthecat third baby 26th 💛
Allfurcoatnoknickers second baby 28th 💖
Limoncelloo 29th March second baby 💖
MamaMenna second baby 30th 💖

Sorry I know I was talking about maternity leave last week. Does anyone know what pay without deductions entails. I thought all maternity pay was taxed. Does this mean no tax or is it just other deductions such as pension/national insurance that wouldn't be deducted? I've emailed my head office for answers but just wondering if anyone would know from previous experience

'pay without deductions' sounds like gross vs net, what's the context?.

SMP is treated as normal earnings so tax/NI/Pension deduction as normal, but it is usually below the threshold to actually pay any tax and minimal NI.

Meant to tag you @lj2022

@Margo34 I've attached a picture I just feel so confused 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's just the 12 week half pay without deductions that's throwing me.

Just had a massive cry after spotting my first bunch of stretch marks on my belly. I know it's dumb. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time accepting all the little changes to my body. I really want to be that person that celebrates these changes.

@lj2022 I could be wrong, but the way I read that is that, in the event that your 50% pay + smp were to exceed your full pay, they would make a deduction.

@BeingHappy if they are red / purple and angry, they will fade, but I hear you. Pregnancy changes your body forever and it utterly sucks. I feel like ageing sucks too, but at least it's gradual whereas pregnancy just slaps it on you. It's fine not to be fine with it. The baby at the end is totally worth it though and I wouldn't trade one for the other. But wish I could have her and my old body 🤦‍♀️

@Cuppasoupmonster your poor mum and you with the SD! Thankfully that is very rare... scary though <3

For those that used ring slings - talk to me. Are Little Frog good? What size would I get so it can be used for a newborn? They seem to come in S and M.

ooh thanks for bringing up slings @Skylark1990 , any advice/recommendations from you guys greatly appreciated! Ideally the simpler/less faffy the better (I'm a clumsy mare with very little coordination)😊
@lj2022 I read that in the same way as @MamaMenna

@alwaysseeingstars the ergobaby omni 360 is very good as a carrier so would recommend that - easy to put on and supportive! But for a very young newborn i think a ring sling or stretchy would be better... I have the freerider stretchy and it's good too - and am looking into ring slings as they seem to be very simple to put on and off which I like the sound of!

Omni 360 is great! Minimum weight is I think 8lb and they have a newborn insert. I used it for about 18 months with my daughter. Can really recommend it in terms of ease and how secure it feels. Comes in nice prints too.

TGIF ladies! What are your weekend plans?

@Skylark1990 the size is more for you. The smaller size is generally used by petite women who don't want a long tail. The larger sizes are used by average/taller women or anyone who wants a longer tail of fabric at the end. Any size can be used from newborn

Thanks @MamaMenna for your words of solidarity! I feel a bit silly for getting so upset. I feel so so grateful being pregnant but at the same time almost mourning the body I seem to be losing. I assumed if I worked hard enough after bubs is born, I could achieve similar to how I used to be before getting pregnant. But I've been reading about how stretch marks are genetic and my mum still has a very stripey stomach.

@Cuppasoupmonster weekend plans are very relaxed. Beyond lunch with my parents not much else. I am working my way through a book called 'pregnancy, birth and beyond' so will read some of that. We're in the middle of a house purchase (started the process before finding out I was pregnant) and it will need a lot of work before it's liveable so we need to plan some things around that too 🥲 how about yourself? Anything nice on for the weekend?

@BeingHappy I think it's so hard to just imagine what we will look like after birth that it's not worth trying not to have any expectations of yourself.My mum has very dark stretch marks, I only have one that you can't see. I did get left with pigmentation though, she didn't. Also I ended up with fat being stored in different places compared to before so my body has changed shape and I did struggle to lose baby weight despite working out frequently. I assumed if I exercised loads I would be fine. Other people are back to normal size within a few months without exercising or trying to lose weight at all!

Those with experience of ring slings... don't they dig into your shoulder and doesn't it tire your back to carry baby in that off-set slightly to one side way? Otherwise they look much easier to put on / off quickly? Is that the advantage?

Any thoughts on non-stretch / one way stretch / two way stretch? The world is slings seems really complicated when you start looking into it! Sling libraries don't seem to be a thing here 😕

@Cuppasoupmonster we hopefully find out what we are having tomorrow morning, if the baby actually does what we need it to do 😂
Then the rest of the weekend we have no plans, might do a bit of shopping!

@MamaMenna I've heard stretchy is best for newborn as comfy for them, but that the non stretch ones are good once baby is a bit bigger as more supportive for parents. I think most simple stretchy wraps would be able to do a couple of diff holds at least? But I'm no expert I just did the one type of wrap hold with DD when I was using our freerider wrap.

@Gilm0reGirl thank you! What if I am average (5'8 and 70lg approx) but I won't want a long tail? Haha

Medium (2.0M)

@Skylark1990 @Cuppasoupmonster thank you for the recommendation on the Ergo, it's one I'd looked at so it's nice to know people like it IRL! Is it good for you and your partners to use? I'm only 5ft and DH is 6ft (and completely different shapes!)
Now just to find a simple soft sling for wearing around the house that's easy to use 😊
We've not bought anything yet, we've got our 20 week scan next week so DH wants to make sure all is OK then before we start any buying!

Slings! I was thinking of getting a ring sling, or I also have a size 3 wrap and some rings I might sew up myself. I used woven wraps last time and carried DS in them up until about 12 months then switched to a toddler carrier (but one made of lovely soft wrap fabric so it was best of both worlds!) to save my back as he was 99th centile.

I have 3 long woven wraps and I hope to learn more different carries to do with them this time beyond the basics.

I've never been a fan of stretchy wraps, I found the woven ones much more supportive even in the early days.

@alwaysseeingstars I didn't get on with the ergobaby at all. My husband used it for ages though and he's 6'3, he liked it.
I think it wasn't the right shape for me as it's quite rigid and the waistband never really supported me properly. A softer carrier was much better.

Hope everyone’s well. Just been catching up.
I understand the pre pregnancy body mourning, I’m 19 weeks almost 20
and feel like I’ve been stretching madly this week . Keep telling myself I’m going to make myself look better post pregnancy than I did before minus the stretch marks and saggy skin somehow 😂.

20 week scan on Tuesday can’t believe how fast it’s come around.

@BeingHappy it is hard when you're having all the changes but you don't have the baby yet to make it worth it!
I was overweight and a size 14 before I had DS so wasn't really horrified by stretch marks (thanks puberty) or weight gain. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a month of having DS though because I didn't put that much on and he was huge so he was most of it! But I was obviously still overweight. I think it really depends on the person and the pregnancy and it doesn't really matter.

The weirdest thing for me was how much my body changed shape. I was a curvy hourglass type shape before with a big bum but my bum went totally flat postpartum! I also grew an inch taller and my ribs changed position.

I love my body now, since doing strength training and unlearning all the "smaller is better" stuff that's so engrained in us. I also love what my body has done. I struggled with my c section scar for quite a while but one day I showed it to DS and said that's where you came from, and that made me like it!