Due June 2005, Thread 3

[Uwila]

Time for new thread. I'll add a link on the old one.

welshmum great mental imaging happening here!!

Scraggy…holidays…ok it doesn't matter when your normally allowed to take holiday or not as this will be tagged onto your maternity leave, esp if you take the holiday first and then start the maternity leave. My holiday year runs the same as yours so I'll give you what I'm planning to do as an example....I'm due 28th May, so, I will take OML (ordinary maternity leave) starting Sunday 8th May (for some reason the govt. starts it on a Sunday??). This lasts for 26 weeks (you get this if you’re employed no matter how long/little) and is 90% of your average earnings for 6 weeks and then 102.50 pw for the remaining 18 weeks. This will take me to Saturday 6th November. I will then take 5 weeks AML (additional maternity leave – this is unpaid and available up to max of 26 weeks providing you have been working for 26 weeks by the time you are 15 weeks pregnant). This will take me to 11th December. Then as I work a 3 day week my holidays and bank holidays are pro rated so I’m entitled to 5 bank holidays a year, I will have taken 1 (Easter Monday) so I will get 4 days in lieu of bank holidays, and then I will get holiday only for the period OML lasts (i.e. 6mths) so 6 mths of my annual is 7.5 days so if I add these 10 days I will then be due back at work on Tuesday 3rd January 2006. Sorry this is so long. If you take your full 52 weeks entitlement then in your case your maternity leave will go into the following holiday year, and so any holiday will need to be taken before you return to work (although some companies are flexible about this – you need to check with your boss/HR department). You are paid for the holiday you take and so could take holiday before you take OML (a friend of mine is leaving work on 10th Dec, baby due 19th Jan so she’s taking 3 weeks holiday, and then starting her OML Sunday 2nd Jan). I’m only tagging mine on to the end coz it’d be good to get the money in December! If you do take holiday before you officially start OML, and the baby arrives early, then OML will start the Sunday before the baby is born and any remaining holiday will need to be added onto the end of your maternity leave. I hope I haven’t confused you even more

Katz just looked at your web site and it says 43% boy, 56% girl...the ones I looked at, one said boy one said girl, and the wedding ring test said boy...so I'm at evens at the moment!!

Teabelly - I think I get it now. Is there any reason you are only taking 5 weeks AML? Sorry to pry, if personal, please don't feel you need to answer.

No no, not personal...unfortunately money needs mean that I can only really take 7 months off before we run out of savings! But it's better than last time...I only took 2 clear months, and then started working from home 2 days a week until returning to the office 4 mths after that. Couldn't do that with a todler this time, and we were only 5 people then so they needed their accountant/HR/dogsbody, we've been taken over since, so I'm looking forward to a full 7 mths off this time!

Teabelly, this is so topical for me at the moment. I am trying to work out what to do about my job.

I am caught in a very strange situation, where I know my rights, but I work in such a small office, where I'm quite an important cog, and I'm very worried that my boss may just up sticks if I'm not going to be here for 6 months. So, I'm trying to work out some kind of "package" where I can safeguard my job, my boss gets sthg out of it and I can benefit too - such as doing odd days from home.

I just don't know what to do! Obviously, I haven't told them yet as I want to have everything clear in my head first. Any ideas?

Evening everyone

I'm definitely not around as much as I used to be. Still busy unpacking and admiring the views!!

Finding it really hard to keep up with everybody's news though, so sorry for my constantly vague postings - but I am thinking about you all

My bump "appeared" a couple of days ago. I could feel it moving upwards over the last week or so, but it seems to have almost popped now. So I had to open every last remaining cardboard box to find my old maternity stuff. I'm now officially wearing maternity clothes - eek!! At 13 weeks! And I suddenly look maaaaasssssiiiiiiive

I was big early on with ds, but nowhere near this early. It's very, very odd. Even dh did a double take yesterday!

My mum just snorted and said "that's not a real baby, that's a chocolate baby more like"

Bought 2 maternity tops in the Mothercare sale - very boring and dull - not impressed. Very tempted to go to H&M/Topshop even Dorothy Perkins, although DP stuff always falls apart at the seams...

I'm off to look at some preggy wear sites and will report back on any goodies I discover!

Keep healthy everyone!

Morning all,

Hope you are all well. Got woken up this morning by ds patting my tummy saying 'morning mummy's baby' bless followed by him clambering all over said baby to get into the bed...and then I realised it was only 3am!!!

Scraggy, poppet I know just how you're feeling. Last time our American parent company had just announced that they were closing the London office and we would all be made redundant over a period of time, just after I'd told them I was 3 mths pg, and I knew they weren't happy with the UK's maternity laws, as they got much less - they'd have a fit if they were still around now!! Anyway I brokered a deal where I had two months mat leave, and then I worked from home 2 days a week for the following four months, did two weeks for quarter end, and was back at work for year end, and for this I got 50% of my salary. Then because I had 28 days accumulated holiday (built up because like you I could only take certain times of the year) I used the holiday on my return to remain fully paid but only do a 4 day week until my redundancy date, this again worked well on both sides - me as it wasn’t full time, and for my boss I was back to work sooner. With ds being a first baby and sleeping so much in the early days I had no problem doing the work, after that I was lucky enough to be able to drop him around his nanna's the 2 days I was working. Whatever deal you broker you need to think about the following; do you have someone or somewhere to take baby if necessary to work from home, maybe you could do evenings when dh is back from work, is there someone in the office to help run the minimum of your role to fill in on your ‘off work’ days, if not your boss may need to hire a temp to do this. If like me you have a lot of holiday, consider going back a little earlier but on a shortened week. I hope this helps a bit, and sorry for rambling on…babbling is one of my worst traits!!

Teabelly, I think that 7 months sounds pretty darned good. With my DD I was working contract, so I got no maternity benefits. Not a single day of pay. So, I worked from home part time (4 hours per day)until the day I was admitted to be induced. Then after the birth (caesarean) I took the two weeks of mandatory leave, and then I worked from home part time again. Then I was back at work full time in the office four weeks after the birth. EVERYONE thought I was crazy. And many though I wouldn't really do it. But, financial necessity prevailed and I did manage. This time round I work for the same company, but as a salaried employee. I will of course take my 6 weeks of 90% pay, and then tack on a couple weeks of holiday, and then maybe another 4 weeks at the whopping generous £100 / week (which will do nothing more than buy my groceries. This will amount to a grand total of 3 months off work. I would like very much to stay home for 6 months, but there is no way I could afford it.

Also, we have a nanny who is very good. And, to avoid losing her I will have to return to work very quickly in order to pay her. So, just 3 months for me.

Uwila god you did well! Money needs are shit sometimes aren't they. Luckily we've been putting money aside for matenity leave this time, and I waited until they took me on as a permanent member of staff this april before trying...ds was a bit of a shock as I was still on the pill then so couldn't plan too much ahead! Like you say the £100 pw is nothing really, even when they talk about upping the paid mat leave to 9mths and then 1 yr it still won't help most women who need to work for the money

Blimey, it's quiet here today! Have been popping in but have had too much bloody work to do today. Now I'm having an aero, a cup of tea and a mumsnet catch-up.

Have also got a noticeable bump now Mcmudda (nothing to do with aforementioned aero obviously). On Saturday night I went out with a load of friends I hadn't seen for ages and was instantly spotted as being up the duff. I felt a bit embarrassed when I had to admit I was only three months gone! Really struggling to find things to wear now, it puts me in a bad mood every morning trying to find something that fits. Listen to me moaning...sorry.

I've just noticed in the last few days that I can now stay up past 10pm without the aid of match-sticks to keep my eyes open, so I think the first trimester exhaustion is starting to fade. Only slightly though! How's everyone else feeling?

Question for second/third timers - did you suffer from pelvic pain in previous pregnancies? I'm starting to ache down there now, and I'm wondering whether it might be related to SPD (had it fairly mildly with DS).

Right, back on with some work I suppose. Me and DH have been arguing about names - anyone else starting this early?!

Yep it's very quiet today...

Mrs W, sorry to say if you had SPD in previous pregnancies you will get it again in subsequent ones. A friend of mine who's now 7 1/2 mths has been having accupuncture and says it's working wonders for her, so if it gets bad you could try that.

Re names we've already decided I'm really sad but need to decide early on, and I need to know the sex...couldn't possibly wait until it's born...I'm crap with surprises too, I fish and fish until I find out what it is!! We've decided on Adam for a boy and Lucy for a girl. Have you decided names yet or are you still debating?

Haven't got any further than arguing about the As in the baby name book. Have ruled out Adolf

I'm impressed you're so organised! We'll be waiting until June to find out so we've got plenty of time to 'discuss' this, and my DH did concede that I've got final say this time as he picked our DS's name out (he's named after DH's granddad). Although yesterday he denied he'd said that....

I was hoping that if I stick with Pilates it might help my SPD - what do you think?

hi everyone,
cant believe how quiet it is on here today either.im still off work(thats why im on here!)but going back tomorrow
ive also had the odd pain down below and was a bit worried about it but it does seem to have gone now
we've also already decided on names(i think!).
we both like oscar james for a boy and probably poppy ella for a girl,although my brother said theres no way you can call a baby poppy!!!!
sorry i said anything to anyone now,especially as everyone has an opinion but i think we are sticking to poppy.also like pheobe,though

Yuo lot have such agrreables DH/DPs.... I had a name picked out for DD since 10 years ago! But DH decided the month before she was to be born that he didn't like my pick.... So 2 days after she is born we just conceded on the only name we find acceptable. I was really P...d, but now I can imagine any better name for her or another DD!
Now, for this one... I think we decided no point arguing for 9 months. So we'll start perhaps in May....

Mrs W yep I reckon the pilates will help...wasn't it originally designed by a lady with bad back problems who now has a perfectly straight back (not to mention extremely flat tummy )?

Bubbaloo I like your names...anyway you should never listen to others views...if you like the names then stick to it...mil didn't like ds's name (Luke) when we first told her but it's tough, and I think it really suits him now

I think you've both chosen lovely names.

That's the only problem with telling people before the baby is born - everyone's got an opninion and is more than happy to share it. If you wait until the baby is here they just tend to accept it.

thats probably the best idea,lua.
im far too impatient to wait as long as that-cant wait for next scan so i can find out the baby's sex
february seems such a long way away!!

Hiya,

Just spent the last 2.5 hours trying to amke a pom pom for a sheeps tail (nativity costume) only to have it fall apart in my hands once finished!!! Oh well who cares - at least it wasted a boring afternoon at work!!!

Anyway re - names. My dd started school in September and is learning to read using books about a girl called Poppy so she has decided thats what she wants to call the baby if it's a girl. This is after she had decided she wanted the baby to have EXACTLY the same name as hers (including middle name)

We'll be finding out the sex around the end of Feb so we'll probably decide then. I have a list of about 20 names I like for boys or girls.

If you really like a name stick to it. i have a friend who listen to her frinds persuade her with her dd1. And, when she had dd2, she just told every to stuff it flat out. Said she was talked out of the name she really liked first time around and SHE was pick the name second time.

By the way, our names are:
boy- Alexander Robert Rathbun Duffy
girl- Rachel Page Duffy

i think we'll stick to our guns!!
lovely names teabelly and i like yours also uwila

uwila, nice names...couldn't think of any middle names we liked so we didn't bother for ds, and won't for this one either.

Mrs W, doh I was thinking of callanetics , but the principle is the similar to pilates anyway, so I still think it will help.

Evening all...

Joining the noticeable bumps club - 15wks today and have a lovely one I'm absolutely thrilled with. I certainly look bigger than I'd imagined I'd look at this stage. Of course I'm wearing close-fitting jumpers to uni and students are beginning to guess - which is a bit bizarre but fine by me really :) .

I'm another Alexander fan. I've a feeling the baby is a boy, but find boys' names harder to choose than girls' - anyone else have this, or the other way round?

Oh yes, forgot to mention earlier that I shared my news with myboss this morning. So now I can stop squeezing into these suits that really don't fit and wear some comfy maternity clothes. I never thought I would look forward to wearing those tents again. But, alas I am defintely happy about it. Bloomin Mrvelous, here I come!

well i have to say that i think the name Phoebe is lovely (it's my DD's name!!!)

We ahven't started to discuss names yet but i have just got our baby names book back from our friends. I have to say these are my favs at the moment

DD - Beatrice Margaret
DS - Dylan William Thomas

both middle names are after rellys who've past away recently