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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due April 2008 - the food porn thread for expanding waistlines!

949 replies

SantasGotABigFatEllieG · 10/12/2007 16:28

Hello

OP posts:
ScamparumpapumpMum · 03/01/2008 13:42

I have a friend who is obsessive and keeps phoning me up in tears - her baby sounds just like DD but she keeps reading books that tell her not to let the baby get 'negative sleep associations' by falling asleep in the sling - it's 6 weeks old FFS! I am just doing Deep Breaths Of Patience and repeating myself endlessly. I can only (keep) tell (ing) her what worked for me, but if she keeps disregarding it there's not much more I can do!

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 03/01/2008 13:43

You really can cherry pick from it- there is good advice contained in that book, its just about getting the idea and then making it work with what you actually have to live. Remembering most of the original GF Mums are fairly well off and can afford to emplpoy GF as a amternity nurse in the first case, so no doubt can employ alctation consultants, nanny for school run, etc etc... most of us are just going to have to adapt what baby wants to our needs as best we can and make it work.

Which imo is OK. If you want something that never bothers your routine or causes any disruption, get a handbag

Slings are fab- wonder of GF disliking them might be something to do with fact that ime baby in sling = sleeping baby regardless of rouitne?

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:44

i always feed on demand in tiny baby days, naturally is between 3 and 4 hours. (bottles btw). ds1 didnt sleep through the night until he was 2, ds2 slept through at 5 weeks. am hopin for a repeat ds2 baby!

I am however quite 'strict' on minimal night time contact - talking, looking etc. am determind not to go wrong where i did with ds1 again. I am very cuddly in the day. I make sure they go to sleep by themselves, putting them down awake from about 6 weeks. Have done mixture of BLW and conventional shove it in method, works for me. i do babywear but only when out-i could not have baby strapped to me all day, unless ill or thats the only way it will be quiet for a bit.

Bath will be before last feed, whenever she decides that is.

EllieG · 03/01/2008 13:44

But Gina says that if you do let them sleep in the sling they will have 'negative sleep associations' from day 1! I was quite looking forward to having the baby all snuggled next to me snoozing but don't want to do something bad.

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 03/01/2008 13:45

Oh the baies- can only really tell you about ds2 in that ds1 doesn't yet sleep through but thats an ASD thing; ds2 slept through from birth and the MW actually told me off for not waking him for feeds LOL! After a few weeks he got more 'normal' (pethidine i think) but he sleeps well and always has done, if ever he didn't settle I found plopping him infront of tumble drier in his cradle worked a treat. Still by far the best sleper.

DS3 was fairly easy to get into a rouitne after about 6 weeks as well IIRC, its more recently thats gone astray- again ASD.

DennytwasNewYear · 03/01/2008 13:46

DH has returned so will probably want the computer back to play his nerdy internet games. Apparently didnt buy v much

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:47

Ellie its not bad to snuggle your baby! i don't really like what GF says very much.

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 03/01/2008 13:48

3 hours or so is perfect for bottles, breastmilk is digested easier so can be more frequentwhich does scare some new mums but is quite normal.

Negative sleep associations? . Sorry but associating sleep with being warm, cosy and cuddly in the day is NOT negative! Nigts are different- I think Scorpio has it right tehre- but for daytime naps there is nowt negative to me about associating them with feeling safe and loved.

EllieG · 03/01/2008 13:48

Am very keen on marking day/night as being different - that seems v sensible to me. THe other thing GF says is that 'nursery' should be all ready to use for their day time naps from day 1. We don't have one as live in 2 bedroomed flat and until I go back to work won't be able to afford to move, so baby will be in with us (am going to cleverly divide room with curtain when no longer needing to be next to me) until sleeps through, then in with DSD. Not GF-ish, but I don't have as much dosh as she does clearly!

ScamparumpapumpMum · 03/01/2008 13:49

er, not great. I don't think this was anything SWCBN (love it!) could have solved. She had colic and reflux and was in pain until 16 weeks - she was fine to begin with and would wake up for feeds 3 hourly then go back down, but after about 3 weeks she would scream solidly after feeds. Nothing to do with being held or not being held, she certainly wasn't 'clamouring for attention' (I'm putting words in SWCBN's mouth here...), she was just in pain and as far as I was concerned the best I could do was cuddle her. All night. The best advice I ever got was 'it's only a phase'. Whatever happens. And it's such a short time in the longer scheme of things.

She's a great sleeper now (apart from the last two nights ) and has been from four months. Leave her in cot awake and she goes to sleep. I could NEVER have done SWCBN even if I'd wanted to, I simply couldn't have left my baby to cry (so sue me). I have to now sometimes as she is playing up and I think it has reached the point where it would be bad to teach her that Mummy DOES come whenever she yells for me (especially if when I get there she does a big grin and says 'Gruffalo!'...) - still find it really hard, though! Last night left her to cry for 3 mins to go to sleep (wanted another story) and hated it. So perhaps I am not so much lentil-weaver as... softy?

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:49

i have many a picture of me and the ds's when they were small with them lying on my boobs in blankets fast asleep. there is nothing like that smell, the rise of their chest, their downy hair.

they are beautiful and never think that is bad!

EllieG · 03/01/2008 13:50

Right then. Am going to stick to my sling-wearing guns for the day, and make night time routine a little more structured and night-time ish.

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:52

dd will be in with us for 6 months, as thats when risk of cot death diminshes (sp?). then i think she will go in with the ds's. i will have 3 kids in one room, but ds's are already in bunk beds and room is massive so thats ok. it will take ages for us to re-housed here. (we live in council housing).

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 03/01/2008 13:52

Its a long time since I read GF but I think I recall she onlya ccepts offers of work from poeple who can provide her and baby with separate rooms- this isn't reality for some (many) poeple!

It hink having a sleepa rea that is relaxing and that baby can learn to associate with rest is great, this could just as easi;y be a moses basket or quiet corner downstairs. ic annot have the baby upstairs as I will have to supervise closely with the SN ds's, but I will makre sure there is a quiet corner of the room that I always use for naps. Consistency and care os what builds commfort and seurity, not a posh bedroom decked out with teddies and expensive furniture

EllieG · 03/01/2008 13:52

Bloody hormones. Am welling up at the thought of little baby snoozing sweetly on me. Bah. What's happened to me? I used to be well 'ard.

VictorianSqualor · 03/01/2008 13:53

Ellie, both mine slept fine. DD was prem and in scbu for a month so was already in a sleep routine by the time she came home, but with DS after the first few nights of him falling asleep after the middle of the night feed, then crying as soon as I put him in his moses basket, I started to co-sleep and I'll be completely honest, most mornings when I woke up
I didn't even know if he had fed in the night. He would roll over slightly toward me, suckle, feed and fall asleep, then just roll away from me in his sleep.

Much better than the times I sat up on the sofa with Dd giving her a bottle and falling asleep holding her sitting up (really dangerous!).

Although I love the co-sleeping thing, I also love sprawling out and sleep so being able to get into bed without baby attached to me as such is important, hence the sidecar.

Both of mine have always slept perfectly fine as well, and ate fine too, I'm positive it's because I have been relaxed about it all.

Again, I'll reinforce what Peachy said about imposing feeding routines on babies, their tummies are TINY and can only hold so much, if you force them to feed when they aren't hungry you can give them bellyache and constant forcing will eventually artificially stretch the stomach, so even if you're FFing, I'd suggest doing it on demand for at least the first month or two.

ScamparumpapumpMum · 03/01/2008 13:53

that was on baby sleeping but took longer to type than expected! Didn't realise 'negative sleep associations' was straight out of GF - obviously friend didn't want to mention that! I must say I think it's absolute bollocks, and my DD is a counter-example if her claim is that 'negative sleep associations = bad sleeper for life'.

ScamparumpapumpMum · 03/01/2008 13:56

I think the nursery stuff is bollocks, too - like Scorpio says, recommended to have them in with you for six months! I am determined to do better with this this time - last time managed a month as she was a little snuffly piglet hunting truffles in her sleep! I still feel sad sometimes about DD being in a room all by herself.

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 03/01/2008 13:57

VS is bang on- a baby tummy is the size of a walnut (very apt so close to Christmas LOL), only so much it can possibly hold.

EllieG · 03/01/2008 13:57

I don't think relaxing area in day will be problem as will be just me and baby at home so will be nice and chilled. Have got DSD a bunk bed with a desk underneath a friend was getting rid of, so she is very chuffed with her posh new bed and has not realised properly the conotations of sharing room with little sis! Am bigging it up so far, so good. There is too big an age gap for them to share permenantly, but is good enough arrangement for first year til can find somewhere to move to or get housed.

ScamparumpapumpMum · 03/01/2008 13:58

Ellie, I used to be hard and scary too. Now I am most often to be seen blubbing at MN threads (at least once a day) and/or shrieking down phone (in open-plan office) 'Hello Poppy, it's Mummy, hello darling, are you having a good day?' and then proudly and tearfully announcing her response to everybody.

(nb - this is when I phone nursery, DD does not have a mobile at 20 months)

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:59

do others of you with other children get them a present from baby?

i didn't before but they are older this time, what do you think? ds1 was fine when ds2 was born.

scorpio1 · 03/01/2008 13:59

@ mobile at 20 months

EllieG · 03/01/2008 14:03

I got DSD a present from me when we told her about baby - it was an ornament of a lady giving a little girl a cuddle - and a card to say I was just as excited about adopting her and us all being one big family. I think we might get her a present but cos she's older she'll know it's not from the baby - what she wants to do though is shop for a special teddy for HER to give to her little sis, which is nice.

Elfsmummy · 03/01/2008 14:05

I did GF with DD but only at 5 months.

She was really poorly with reflux which was late being diagnosed (4months) and we had a really difficult time for the first few months.

I would never recommend GF to a new mum (and I never tell people in RL that that is what I do as I have alot of respect for all types of parenting plus have had some very negative assumptions made) but equally I think she has some good points and advise in her book and I imagine that I'll almost subconsciously be following her methods from earlier this time, just because I know what I'm doing from DD.

There is no way that I could have follow the routines from any earlier with DD as she was so unhappy and I couldn't have let her cry, however when we did start I definately cherry picked the parts I liked. DD fell into the rountines and I didn't really have to let her cry at all.

I also think her advise about weaning is really great and weaning DD was a dream - that said I did add my own BLW elements from the beginning too

So perhaps I'm not so much of a GF er as I think!! And I definately used a sling!

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