Due August 2021 - Welcome to the World!

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest birth club on MN! Newcomers always welcome 💐

14 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖

Counting down until we welcome 20+ new arrivals:

@MrsB2019x - Induction w/c 9 August, Girl 💖
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Angelesque - C-section 16 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, Boy 💙
@WolfMother - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Millymay13 - C-section 17 August, surprise 💛
@RandomCatGenerator - C-section 19 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛 @notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August (but likely to be brought forward induction/C-section), surprise 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise💛
@Ava50x - EDD 25 August, Boy 💙
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, surprise 💛

It's officially THE month! Watch this space! xx

I'm feeling the feeding is a bit relentless this time and I'm hitting a bit of a wall with it.

On the one hand everything is fine and I am basically happy to sit down and be a milk machine all day. But on the other hand he will only sleep when being held or when actually ON my boob, or in his carrycot with a duvet under him like a sleepyhead (occasionally). It's a bit better at night thankfully and he will sleep cuddled into me after a feed. But I am finding I can't leave him with DH, put him in the car seat/buggy etc for more than about 20 minutes. I can't nap with him really because he doesn't settle. That doesn't work very well with my grand theory of "Oh I'll just feed him loads beforehand and he'll be fine without me for an hour or two!" We can go out and do one thing but then unless I sit down and feed him for ages between every shop he just screams all the way home and I feel terrible.

Oh and DS2 has calmed down from being manic but is now just a bit unpredictable with pushing boundaries. I feel like DH is using time out with him a lot which we haven't really done yet and he doesn't understand and then he got really sad during bedtime.

I know it's just normal newborn stuff and will pass, but DH started looking at bottles and formula in the shop today and it really upset me for no reason. He had suggested it for DS2's bedtime during which DS3 gets really upset and he can't calm him down. Or for example I was meant to go for my covid vaccine today (I accidentally turned up at the wrong vaccine centre so that was a fail) and baby got really upset then as well and I was only gone for 5 minutes!

I just feel really conflicted between being totally happy that BF is working perfectly "like the books say" and I'm in this little newborn bubble but OTOH is that just really self centred of me and I need to acknowledge that some parts of it aren't working perfectly and go with a logical solution which may well involve bottles and expressed milk/formula? And then it opens a rabbit hole of the idea that if he is going to be bottle fed then I want to be in control of it being done the way I want to and I can't. I love having DH involved and interested but I hate letting him make decisions, because he doesn't do things exactly as I would do them, which is apparently fine when I rationalise that I can't take it all on (e.g. with toddler stuff, driving, food, anything related to multiple children at once) but when one part of me thinks I could/should do it all alone then I don't want to let him in. Which if I stand back from it is really unfair and unhelpful of me.

Sorry that was a bit of a weird dump Hopefully I'm just being a bit hormonal and nuts.

Oh FFS and the "slightly nicer instant" coffee I bought was decaffienated. Why is that even a thing??

Hi all! Such a busy time, I've had visitors, HV, SIL coming over, birth registration appointment and Leo is hungry NON-STOP 😱 And we actually went out for a couple of nice walks. Just catching up with the thread.

Quick update from me is that Leo has finally put on 300g (!!!) since Friday and we're finally above his birth weight ❤❤❤ I am so, so happy and relieved. 4 weeks old today, where is this time gone?!

My scar is healing too, although I am having a rough ride with the antibiotics, so not out of the woods yet.

@Inmypjsagain Get your scar checked if you can, lovely. HV or midwife will do it for you, are you still under their care? Does it feel painful? Is it completely dry? Do you have any discomfort at all?

@Magik01 How are you both now? That's so scary, big hugs. You've done the right thing. So exhausting after the hospital though, isn't it. I was unsettled all week last week tbh.

@dirtyfries Welcome and thank you for a lovely comment. Congratulations on your new arrival 😊

@wimbler My DS must be bringing up 30ml after a feed easily and I don't know how many outfits per day we go through, but too many. No Gaviscon here yet because the HV is happy with the weight gain, but she said if it slows down or if he loses weight again (unlikely), I should ask GP for Gaviscon or to consider Ranitidine, but apparently they don't commonly prescribe the latter in my area. Desperate for anti-reflux tips here too! Sorry you're going through this too, it's hard!

@Smurf123 We've started getting them tarantulas inside too, tis the season! 😱 I hate them! And my cats are going nuts!

@lucyrp What's the car situation now lovely? This sounds awful. I remember last time you had issues with the car, wasn't even that long ago!

@Ava50x How are you? Thinking of you xxx

Baby acne here too, I squirt my boob over Leo's face and rub it in 😄

Grunting too! Gosh, he grunts a lot, think he's pushing stuff out, but it's not a nice noise at times. So glad you've all mentioned that.

Can we talk poo, please. Mum's poo, for a change. How does one poo in peace with a needy, relentless newborn? And pets? Any advice gratefully received?! This might be my new me time 😳 #whatislife xx

@BertieBotts sorry you’ve hit a wall. I find it really hard to let DH take the reins too. I’m very type A and a bit of a control freak.

Our breastfeeding isn’t going as well either so I’ve been expressing and doing 70% bottle feeds with expressed milk but even I’m doing all the bottle feeds.

“Thankfully” DS has just been diagnosed with a severe tongue tie which can be done on Friday so at least it might make feeding a bit less stressful and we can go back to boob with the odd bottle rather than bottle with the odd boob.

@PurplePansy05 so happy he's up to birth weight! Re poo - I leave him in his chair or on our bed and shut the cats out. Although I'm thinking of bringing him in with me as it seems to take me a little longer these days! We have one of those bath seats in the bath so I think I might just bring him in with me and sit him on there so I don't feel so rushed 😂

@BertieBotts that all sounds exhausting! Hats off to you and everyone else who has more than one! On the subject of poo - I'm glad decaf exists as I can't handle caffeinated coffee!! 😂😂

It seems like I'm the anomaly - I'm more than happy for DH or any sensible friend/relative to feed DS 😳 my mum is on her way up and the first thing I'm going to do is show her how to use the Tommy tippee machine so I can pass him to her in the mornings 😂

I thought I'd post separately just on the feeding note and in response to @BertieBotts.

First of all, decaf is shit. Totally with you on that one. Not worth our time

Secondly, I completely understand you're emotional/uncomfortable about your DH's suggestion. Because you're doing well EBF it must have come as a surprise and I get 100% where you're coming from. I think the best thing to do is not to put pressure on yourself. You've done amazing EBF, hats off to you. You can continue. Or if it proves more comfortable for you and your other DCs to switch to combi/express some and bottle feed then yoh have the freedom to do this. It doesn't make your huge EBF success any lesser and it doesn't make you less of a star mum.

I had to switch from EBF to BF with expressed milk top ups and two formula top ups after BF per day. It worked WONDERS. Honestly. I don't even have other DCs! But because the feeding was so relentless and he still wasn't gaining weight I felt I was going crazy and so upset. It's miraculous what 10 mins of peace can do to help you juggle everything else you have on or take a break. It's priceless. My head is screwed back on now thanks to this, although sometimes it still gets a bit much!

But what I'm getting at here is remember you have the freedom of choice as to what to do for the best in your situation and that in itself is really amazing. You did so well juggling it all, you really have. You will know what's best, just give it a bit of time and don't feel you have to make changes if you're not ready or if it doesn't feel right/right time .

I will be going back to EBF gradually as soon as I can. However, if it is no longer right at the time then I've concluded I'll keep the bottle/formula top ups going. If it works well, it's the way to go ❤ xx

@PurplePansy05 so glad to hear you're feeling better about the feeding!

Thanks @Daffodil21 I feel like my resilience is increasing every day since I've become a mum...and it's so easy not to see the wood through the trees with a newborn at home, I think we need to remind each other to be kinder to ourselves, which you've all done for me and it's really helped, particularly on my worst day

You've won the internet today with that bath suggestion. How did I not think about that?! I'm so constipated after antibiitics too, it's not a 5 min job here 🤣 xx

@PurplePansy05 how has the formula gone down? Any digestive effects on baby? Does he take it fine compared to breast milk? We're trying a new thing tonight where OH does the 6 hour night shift and I can hopefully get 6 hours sleep instead of 2 or 3 hour stints. If formula needs to be used for that then so be it. I'll pump what I can before hand too.

@PurplePansy05 the gaviscon is helping massively but it is making him constipated. He’s only been once in the last 48 hours and it was definitely different to his normal nappies. I mix it in with a bottle of breast milk twice a day as getting it in him via a syringe just wasn’t working.

Glad the feeding is working for you now and you’re in a better place! Despite saying it’s a faff expressing and bottle feeding him several times a day is far less stressful than constant latch problems and colic and hiccups. The 0 mam teats have been a game changer too as they’re slow enough for him.

We’ve been getting our first smiles today ❤️❤️ I forgot how magical it is

@Ready2020 Good. Because we use it as a top up after bf, if he brings it up at least I know he's retaining breast milk which makes me happy! We have now switched to 200ml premade bottles because you can store them in the fridge and they just work better as top ups. DH feeds him using a MAM bottle and we give a 30ml top up first, hold him upright, if he still wants more then we repeat until he's done. Xx

May I ask about changing formula - does anyone know if this can be done just when one gets to the end of a tub, or do you need to wean them gently onto a new type?

@PurplePansy05 I’m glad you’ve made a choice that works for your family and for your well-being it makes a massive difference to have made a decision, I felt, glad you do too! Good luck as you continue your BF journey, I hope it works out as you want it to but I’m so glad you’re in a better place on it.

I had a bit of a wobble today. DH went for a drink with a good friend of ours, literally 200m from our home. The baby started panting really fast and felt warm and panicky, and I had a total melt down and called him back. I felt so teary and sad and bad at being a parent. DH was amazing. A touch of the PND perhaps :(

@RandomCatGenerator I think it's perfectly normal to be worried and especially if you're home alone. I'm always a bit more concerned on days when DH is in the office, especially that I still can't drive myself and DS anywhere. I'd not hesitate to call him back in if I was concerned. Don't be hard on yourself xx

Just want to let you know my baby boy has finally arrived early this morning!! Was a super quick birth, I decided that this time with the intense haemorrhoid pain I was having, I was going to be assertive and insist on an epidural. They were fine with it, labour ward wasn't busy and anaesthetist was called. Only problem was baby didn't get the memo and exactly one hour after arriving at the hospital he was born! A lovely 3.2kg, exactly as predicted which is interesting!

Thank you everyone for your support until now, sorry I've been a bit of a whinge in the last few weeks!

We are home now, enjoying cuddles and my own bed:)

@Ava50x congratulations!! Glad he didn’t keep you waiting any longer and it wasn’t a long drawn out birth. Hope you’re feeling good and recovering well

Congratulations @Ava50x! Your own bed after birth is just the best thing in the world isn't it?

@PurplePansy05 so glad to hear Leo is gaining well! And also to hear that feeding is going well for you at the moment, that must be such a relief. We're trying doing one of the night feeds with formula (so DH can do it - despite our lactation consultant telling us it's better if mum does all of it from the breast in terms of regulating supply) and he seems to settle a bit better after a formula feed - though he's a really bad sleeper at the moment, we're both finding it a bit relentless.

I've been finding it really tricky recently and have been really beating myself up about if I'm good enough - today has been a good day which is why I'm feeling ok posting again. @RandomCatGenerator I also had a wonder if I might have a touch of PND, but it's not all the time so I don't know if it's just normal adapting to a new, very different life. I've got a swaddle arriving tomorrow and am hoping that it might help Rowan sleep for a bit longer at night - at the moment he's up every two hours and it's exhausting, I fell asleep while he was feeding last night which I feel awful about.

@Ava50x congratulations! So glad it finally happened for you.

@biscuitcat @RandomCatGenerator it's hard to decide if it's PND or just normal feelings isn't it. I think if you're still feeling this way in a week or so then have a chat to someone?

@PurplePansy05 thanks that's good to know. We've got 2 bottles of the instant formula ready to use if needed.

I'm really nervous about my OH doing the 6 hour night shift. It's only from 12 to 6 am but it means rowan will be without my boob for the night and I worry if she'll settle for my OH. Basically as much as I'm looking forward to a solid 6 hours I'm not sure I'll sleep for all of it. Usually I'd be napping now in preparation but I'm staying up to feed DD when she wakes and to pump what I can.

Pansy thank you, I know you're totally right. I EBF DS1 and DS2 had some formula from birth which we happily continued even once it was no longer needed so I do know that both can work. I think it just took me by surprise today. Anyway, tonight DH decided to take Alex for a walk during toddler bedtime and said that worked really well for both of them as he got a bit of exercise and thinking time as well. So I think that might be the plan for now. A friend has offered me a hand pump as well that I just need to pick up so that might work well too. But not urgently needed. And to be honest if we end up giving bottles I will probably get fed up of expressing fairly quickly.

Congratulations Ava, that's lovely news!

IME the random tearful feelings and a general backdrop of sadness is just the baby blues. It seems to peak at about day 10 for me. But if it hangs around for more than a couple of weeks after birth, or gets worse rather than better then that would be a time to query PND and ask for help.

We swapped formula brands every tub last time. I didn't do any weaning across and didn't have a problem. If your baby has a sensitive tummy it might be more of a thing?

@Ava50x congratulations, fantastic news!

@PurplePansy05 my revelation since the caesarean is drinking a small glass of prune juice in the morning and evening to make poos much easier and quicker…may be something to help with your antibiotic constipation?

@biscuitcat and @RandomCatGenerator

Congratulations @Ava50x so pleased for you!!

Oops, didn’t finish that message before posting!! I meant to say that I think this is a period of massive adjustment for us all and at the same time our pregnancy hormones are deserting us, so it’s normal to be overwhelmed and tearful. Good to keep an eye out though just in case it continues into PND. Hugs to all xx

@PurplePansy05 so the car update is that it's basically toast. Friend who's a mechanic looked at it tonight for us and the timing chain has gone so its a goner. It's on finance for 5 years and we've only had it 18 months so that's going to be fun paying off a car that I can't even drive for the next 3 and a half years. No idea how well afford another one either. I've been a mess this evening 😫😫 xx

@Ava50x yay congrats ! Xx