Due June 2020: thread 6

[AndddddHerewegoagain]

Hi everyone. Hope you don't mind me setting up the new thread didn't want to run out of space on the other one!

@peetieswie I want delayed cord clamping too, I was told it's best practice at hospitals now. I've agreed to donate the cord to Antony Nolan so I just need to check the delayed cord clamping can still be done 🤞

I'd love a water birth too! I love the idea of a home birth but I'd be a little nervous

@newbyxx wow you're having a chunky monkey too! Are they inducing you because of baby's size?

Oh gosh @babyt2020 that would have wound me up too!!

Haha yeah my husband is super keen on doing the perineal massage, I don’t think he realises how unsexy it’s going to be 🙈😂

Yeah, I think you can do it before 34 weeks but study’s show that basically it’s not really worth it. On the Instagram page bub.appetit she did a whole summary about PM and gave some useful info

www.instagram.com/p/B-K9FXWH57Z/?igshid=1hckly8zj06kt

Sorry that link was for a different post. Here’s the one I meant

www.instagram.com/p/B-fbqWPHzcf/?igshid=dofrjg4f36vb

@babyt2020 I have low papp-a so it's just procedure when you have that but I've also had 4 episodes of
Reduce movements and his size so a mix of all of them x

Had my 34wk apt today. MW felt for Bambino's position and she is quite certain It's still breech. If it is so in 2 weeks I will have to discuss my options with the consultant. So I'm doing everything to get Bambi to move for Me.

Anyone else find the MW examination of Bump quite painful? I always feel bruised after. Also wonder it it hurts Baby.

Does anyone get this sensation/feeling of cracking bones inside? I know that soubds horrible but I get it and worry.

@rpps I think I get what you mean!
I sometimes think I can hear/feel a popping noise like when your knee or knuckles crack

I had my monitoring appointment at the hospital yesterday. Baby has turned breech. The umbilical artery measurement was better than last week, blood pressure still ok and all fine on the monitor. Doctor was happy with everything, I'll still be attending weekly for check ups.
In a way, slightly glad that baby is breech - if she stays that way, it takes the decision away about a c/section, which I'm leaning towards anyway.

For those thinking about your birth plans, the one thing I would advise (from experience) is to have an open mind. 30% of first deliveries require some sort of intervention, and I've never heard of forceps/caesarean being done for no good reason. The problem often is that the reason isn't always communicated clearly in the heat of the moment. If you do need intervention, you have not failed and you have not been failed.

Thanks @missisbee. Will try to keep open mind but then I read books saying 'it doesn't have to be this way' 'birth is natural and your body can handle it' Regarding the episiotomy, my nct leader sent me loads of research and basically it says water birth makes it less likely to have stage 3 or 4 tears and episiotomy, partly because midwife can't see your bits to recommend it. evidencebasedbirth.com/waterbirth/ Spent ages reading it all but found it interesting.

Did link work?

evidencebasedbirth.com/waterbirth/

I agree with @MissisBee re having an open mind about the birth plan. Mine is as follows: get baby out as safely as possible for both of us, and I would prefer a CS over instrumental birth in the event of difficulties as I don't want the risk of pelvic floor damage associated with instrumental birth. I've an appt with my consultant to discuss the hospital protocol for instrumental birth and when it might be necessary over CS so that if the shit does hit the fan I am prepared in advance. I would definitely consider induction as recent evidence suggests there is not much increase in negative outcomes and may even reduce the risk of stillbirth after 39/40 weeks (think it was called ARRIVE trial?). If I'm still pregnant at 40 weeks I will request induction. I just want baby to be here and healthy.

The idea that we should just trust our bodies just rubs me right up the wrong way (sorry). It's only ever people who promote 'natural' birth that say this, no other medical speciality criticise interventions, tell you to trust your body or expect you to deal with excruciating pain without relief. Seeing is natural but nobody is expected to trust their eyes and avoid glasses! Our uteruses and vaginas (and boobs) can be just as dysfunctional as the rest of our organs and unfortunately don't always work the way we want them to!

I think it's great to think about what we all want for birth and to discuss it with our HVPs in advance, but I would also think about 'why' you want what you want. No answer is correct, everyone has their own feelings. My best advice would be try to do whatever you can to relax during birth (deep breaths helped me) and go with the flow.

FWIW my first birth was fast (~4.5hrs) even though I had a number of risk factors. I used gas and air for the pain so it was classed as an achievement in the natural birth circles but I had over absolutely zero control over that outcome! Same as when my boobs decided not to work afterwards. Bodies gonna be bodies!

I hope we all have have the births we dream of (a mild nudge and they glide out painlessly..... is that just me?!) But however baby gets here and however much help we may or may not need with that process, we are all amazing because we grew a person and brought them into the world. Let's fuckin do this lassies! ;)

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth 👏🏻👏🏻

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth I agree with all the points - we can just be positive and hope for the best. Stay relaxed and trust the people who have us in our care as I really believe they have ours and baby's best interests in mind.

I have decided on ELCS because of previous instrumental birth but I am "secretly" hoping somehow I will go into natural labour with a nudge and a slide and save myself the recovery of a major operation. Problem is there's a chance it will be more like a stuck and a yank and rip than a slide hence going for the more certain option of an ELCS.

Anyone getting a lot of pelvic cramping/pulling at this stage 35w? I keep thinking this baby is going to come early he is feeling very low and the head butts feel quite low down my bottom and I'm already waddling like I'm full term. Even my DD asked why I was walking like that and proceeded to do a comical impression of my "funny walk"

@LillianFullStop 🙋🏻‍♀️ I'm waddling a lot! Baby also feels low I'm sure I'll be early.

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth

I totally get what you’re saying and for the most part I agree with you. But I do think there is an inclination for hospitals to jump to an induction quickly when it might not always be a medical emergency. I appreciate there are lots of times where induction is needed and we are so lucky we live in a world where Drs and midwives can act quickly and get the baby out as quick and safe as possible. However as @babyt2020 is an example of, 2 instances of bogus high BP measurements and they’re already suggesting induction? That’s when I’d be declining the induction especially before 40 weeks. Inductions while they can be medically necessary they are also forcing the body to do something before it’s ready, which is why it’s more painful and 50% of inductions result assisted deliveries or c-sections. So of course people are going to question/push back and in some cases decline an induction if the reason it is recommended is down to something as trivial as you being ’overdue’ by a day and the doctor wants you to give birth before the weekend when they’re short staffed (a legit reason a lady on a Facebook group I’m a part of was given).

It’s a shame that like with all things in life people have to take things to the extreme and ruin it for the rest of us. I don’t agree that it should be seen that you had the ‘gold star’ birth just because your baby came out quickly with no pain relief or intervention.
A baby born safely is the ultimate goal and that is all that matters, and no one should be made to feel less than if they needed assistance getting there. You don’t get a medal for doing it without pain relief.
However I do appreciate the natural birth movement for highlighting techniques you can use to try and get through labour with minimal intervention and reminding women that they have a voice and a say in how their baby is brought into the world and you don’t have to just blindly follow the doctors/midwives without stopping to question if it’s right for you or not.

The trial you mention actually found that induction at 39 weeks did not change the outcome in terms of preventing stillbirth. All it did was reduce the chances of the labour ending in a c-section.

I’ve linked below for those who are interested.

I think there is still no evidence that inductions performed before 42 weeks lower the risk of still birth. But I’m happy to be corrected if someone has a link to a study that shows this.

evidencebasedbirth.com/arrive/

@Gigitree I absolutely see where you are coming from and I do agree. However, I think that if induction is an option for whatever reason then the HCP's have a duty to offer it. Maternal choice is paramount in my opinion and of course I would support any Mum who wanted to decline any intervention for her own reasons. Some Mums may feel that two high BP's are a good reason for induction, some Mums may not. My concern is that interventions, including induction, are often presented as something to be avoided in and of themselves because an intervention free birth is something we should all be aiming for.

With regards to ARRIVE, apologies for my mistaking reduction in stillbirth with reduction in CS. To clarify, what I meant was that we know that stillbirth rate goes up slightly after 40 weeks of gestation so for me, I would prefer an induction and all associated risks over the risks of stillbirth. I completely get that others would absolutely not make this choice and 100% support them in that.

I think what we need is a maternity system that presents all options and their absolute risks, with no process being pushed as 'optimum' because one Mums perfect birth could be another Mums horror story!

Unfortunately, the hospital I will be giving birth at had it's very own 'maternity scandal' due to a push for 'natural' birth so forgive me for being a little jaded :)

This has probably already been asked, but what actual bag has everyone packed for the hospital? Is a carry on little suitcase about right or too big? I don't know where to start and feel I'm leaving it a bit late for the packing! Had great fun choosing all the nice snacks to go in on my last order! 😊😊

I've got a cabin bag that I would take on a flight. Husband is taking a small backpack for snacks and change of stuff for his as I've put in more changes of clothes than would have done if it weren't for covid as if I have to stay on the ward for any length of time after no one can visit to bring you things

@Babybird20 I have a cabin bag so I don't have to worry about lifting any weight after the birth I can roll it around. It's quite full though as I am bringing formula and bottles on top of the clothes/toiletries so I am wondering if I need a full size suitcase but I would feel so ridiculous!

I'm taking a small carry on case for me, will take two changes of clothes plus what I'll be wearing there.
Then changing bag fits babies stuff perfectly and I'll get hubby to take a back pack with one change for him and the snacks.
I intend to take my pregnancy pillow with me for comfort.
Time is really ticking on can't wait to reach 37 weeks and know baby is fully grown.

34+5

Fab thanks @Ginfilledcats @LillianFullStop @Smiffette , I'll aim for the cabin bag too then and will make hubby pack his own separately! I'm planning on taking my pillow too. I might have to wait to pack clothes though as not sure I have enough mat clothes to pack some!! Still need to buy a nightie and gown for the hospital and possibly slippers or flip flops.

What changing bag is everyone using? I have a free one that came with the pram but it's an over shoulder one and I've been recommended to get a back pack style one?

Yes I agree with@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth on this. There have been two UK hospital scandals with women and babies having poor outcomes as the midwives pushed 'natural' birth at all costs.

There was also a recent Swedish study which was terminated where they were letting women go past 42 weeks without induction and an increased number of babies were stillborn.

Our bodies may be made to do this but the maternal mortality rate was precipitously high 100 years ago and has dropped off a cliff since 1930 due to the advent of modern obstetric medicine. We should be thankful that our lives are no longer at risk due to the interventions and medicines available during childbirth. Nobody can tell in advance whether you would fall into the natural birth group or the intervention group so best to be open-minded. Even animals die in childbirth / require interventions or C sections!

@LillianFullStop @BabyBird20 I would love a full suitcase but would also feel too embarrassed so am taking a cabin bag for me and a rucksack changing bag for baby!

@SerBrienneOfHouseTarth very well put, you've said what I wanted to say better than I could say it myself. I was induced and ended up with a section, but everything was all very high risk to begin with, and I still feel in hindsight it was the right way to do things. It wasn't the induction itself that caused the problems, more DS's prematurity. I don't expect I'll get as far as 40 weeks this time, but if I did, the postdates gradual increase in stillbirth rate does worry me (I'm older too), so would be looking at a planned delivery ASAP after 40 weeks.

Last time I took a small suitcase, this time I've packed my Guide camp rucksack, with a smaller backpack with they baby's things.

@babybird20 I had a free one with pram, but bought a back pack style one separately.

I've tried to attached a pic of the one I got. really roomie and fit everything in for baby quite comfortably.