September Babies Thread #5 - we're a chatty bunch

[Stroan]

Yet another thread for our September babies!

The Google Doc with stats is here: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VUDuTLeibUnnaCWCjb-pqUe4Wnq-fTau4HJgmE1XE3c/edit?usp=sharing

This post was edited at OP's request

I really want to BF but this is my first baby so I don’t really know what I’m letting myself in for! I’d like to aim for 6 months but will see what happens I guess.

How do I join the Facebook group?

@DustyDoorframes
Yes already got results back from the Nappy Lady. Not decided whether to go sized or birth to potty yet though. Waiting to see how baby grows first. I am short - DH is tall. I was 5lb at birth, he was 10lb so we could get anything!

I also have 2 friends who have been nappy consultants in the past so have good support on that front. I may know bugger all else about babies but my oldest friend was using Motherease wraps 14 years ago so well educated on that front :)

I'm planning on getting a used stash of various sorts though to try a few options out.

She's recommended me to use Bumgenius Elemental Joy or Bumble Popper with Motherease wraps on the birth to potty front.

I've seen Bumgenius in action but not Bumble.

No decision required yet though! We also have a local nappy library too.

Careful now Megan2018, it could be the start of an obsession! I wish my pants were as nice tbh.

Thanks for all the advice re BF and combi feeding etc. I still feel like a rabbit in headlights about BF so I guess will just re visit closer to the time.

@Bunnymummy89 try not to beat yourself up re taking HG medication. It is a necessity and I honestly wouldn't have made it through my last pg without the medication. Have you joined the hypremesis thread on MN? I'm not on there this time as miraculously have avoided HG but their support was amazing last time round. It was because of my HG (and then horrendous birth) that I didn't even attempt BF last time. I just wanted my body back after months of lying on the bathroom floor crying!

Has anyone been feeling light headed? I have nearly fainted quite a few times today - I WFH so haven't done anything out of the ordinary other than pick my dog up from the vets. She has a drain in, I'm not usually squeamish but I had to sit in the vets reception and drink a glass of water until I'd come back round again!

@happydays00 I've had the odd duzzy spell!! I'm prone to pregnancy hypertension though so I'm quite pleased...
@Megan2018 you're set! I haven't applied my brain to nappies yet at all- after the 20 week scan I think. We used bumbles for the first two at night and they are troopers- literally threadbare now though...

We're having a Boy! Scan was great, he was wriggling around loads! We have our name picked and now I'm ready to shop!

're. Breastfeeding I'm definitely putting all my will and power Into making it work. I'll be really disappointed if there's something that blocks it for me. For me, this is the first motherly duty. It's nutritious, good bonding, free! I absolutely do not want to give my money to some exploitative corporation selling dried milk at a huge price. I expect the first few months to be hard but im quite a determined person. I then want to do bf and expressing so husband can do some feeds.
I want to try the washable cloth nappies but a friend told me not to continue for the first 3 months as it's just not worth the added hassle when you have a newborn. After that, I will do it. I'd like to avoid using disposables and going to landfill if i can avoid it.

Whisky2014 congratulations! So wonderful!

Just filled in The Nappy Lady questionnaire too! Drying will be an issue here so think the pocket nappies might be the best option for us.

Congratulations @Whisky2014 - enjoy your shopping!!

Hmmm nappies, I'm on the shelf, more research required I think on that one.

I have nearly fainted a couple of times over the last 10 days or so, and yesterday's dog walk was a real slog, I had to have a rest half way round 🤷‍♀️ I find making sure I drink a LOT of water helps, my blood pressure had dropped from 120/80 at booking to 110/60 at 16 week appointment so guess that explains some of it?

Woot @Whisky2014 ! Yay scan! (Ps- I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but do be gentle on yourself. I think a lot of the language around breastfeeding can be quite detrimental to women and actually make breastfeeding harder. Breastfeeding is totally normal, there is no reason it shouldn't be easy for you. But just in case, for whatever reason, you are one of the people for whom it doesn't work out, or for whom it becomes too much, or whatever, you truly won't have failed in your duty as a mother!)

Congratulations @Whisky2014.
I'm similar with BF Dusty, I loved it eventually and BF DD to 18months BUT there was an uneasy bit at the start where I was being pressed into FF and I was too stubborn and upset and feeling like it was failure. With my normal, clear of PND head on I can see that she was too small (6th %ile at birth at over 41wks the midwife told me this wk) and lost too much weight. If someone other than OH and MIL, someone with actually authority and knowledge had told me to top up I would have and would hesitate less this time. Will be topping up later anyway this time if needed, do not want to be pumping for bottles, thats the bit I didn't enjoy and a lot was wasted.

Hehe thanks all!
@DustyDoorframes Yeh I'll try but I am so keen to make it work! I thonkirs something like only 2% of mothers actuslly can't breastfeed. Obviously if there's some kind of issue and baby needs medical treatment or I'm unwell then too bad but I do hope it goes ok :)

I have now filled out the questionnaire for the nappies. I also had a quick look on eBay and just wanted to say watch out! I see loads of them listed as new or brand new but then if you read the description on the items actual page they will say "used".
So if you were looking for new only, just be careful.
I'm overwhelmed with all the reusable nappy info!!

Anyone else feeling a bit overwhelmed and getting cold feet? 😔

@Whisky2014 that's because e-bay doesn't allow you to list used or second hand nappies, so people halve to work round it...
Re only a very small percentage of women being physically unable to breastfeed, that's absolutely true- but we live in a society where, mostly, there is ouvert pressure to breastfeed, but actually a huge (mostly) unspoken pressure not to. So you are "bad" for not doing it, but wildly unsupported and pressured not to as well. A lot of women get crushed between those two forces and it's shit. Bad advice at the wrong moment, sidelong looks from family, lack of paternity leave meaning women are alone from pretty early on, etc etc all do add up. And pressure actually makes it physiologically harder too. Those first weeks "should" be a lovely fug of snuggling with our new little one, with family rallying round to look after us and cosset us. A bit of a long shot for most people! But we can take the first step by taking the pressure of ourselves and being kind to ourselves. That makes everything easier. Ahem, lecture over... (ps- I found breastfeeding easy both times and you most likely will too!)

@Whisky2014 that's because e-bay doesn't allow you to list used or second hand nappies, so people halve to work round it...
Re only a very small percentage of women being physically unable to breastfeed, that's absolutely true- but we live in a society where, mostly, there is ouvert pressure to breastfeed, but actually a huge (mostly) unspoken pressure not to. So you are "bad" for not doing it, but wildly unsupported and pressured not to as well. A lot of women get crushed between those two forces and it's shit. Bad advice at the wrong moment, sidelong looks from family, lack of paternity leave meaning women are alone from pretty early on, etc etc all do add up. And pressure actually makes it physiologically harder too. Those first weeks "should" be a lovely fug of snuggling with our new little one, with family rallying round to look after us and cosset us. A bit of a long shot for most people! But we can take the first step by taking the pressure of ourselves and being kind to ourselves. That makes everything easier. Ahem, lecture over... (ps- I found breastfeeding easy both times and you most likely will too!)

@Moraxella
Frequently! I have good days and then days of overwhelming panic.
So stressed about the financials of being off too. We did a hugely expensive house move 8 months ago and are still catching up. I have no idea how it’s all going to work. Dreading not coping with the sleep deprivation too.

It’s also not only the mums that have issues with feeding. My mum tried but as well as being very weak after huge blood loss from my EMCS, I was also small, with poor suck, severe jaundice and also bone idle. After 6 weeks I had lost so much weight I was back in hospital (was only 5lbs to start). There was nothing wrong with her milk supply but I wouldn’t have it. I was a little disaster tbh.

With my brother she had another EMCS but less trauma and he was bigger, stronger and could actually be bothered to feed. She BF him easily for months before switching to formula after weaning.

If I have one like my DB then I’m sure bf will work. If I have a mini me then we’re buggered.

Same in our family Meghan. My DMum didn't try with us (twins) but my DSis gave it a go with both her kids. DNeice couldn't have been less interested, but DNephew was a boob monster with a great latch from day one. So there's two very different outcomes with two kids, 17 months apart.

I've seen driven and determined women IRL driven to PND over seeing BF as something you either pass or fail, and that they were "failing" despite immense physical and mental effort. That and some of the posts I've read on here over the years have left a lasting impression on me, and I won't do it to myself. If it works out, great, if not, FF and move on to the next parenting conundrum.

I'm getting stressed about things now too. Stuff like DH leaves the army in year next month, no job to go to as yet. My work has been really quiet as well for a few months, so I'm stressing about that. Then there's the cost of childcare, although that's abated a bit since I looked into the tax free childcare scheme. Just trying to be zen about it, stop catastrophizing(!) and realise there's no point in worrying about things that are beyond my control right now.

We moved into a new build when I was 5 months pregnant with DD and had to buy absolutely everything a house needs. We owned nothing but a kitchen aid and a le crueset casserole dish. Then I was made redundant when she was 11 months old.

It's all scary, but you kind of just muddle through. It seems less huge when you also have a tiny person to focus on.

And on BF, I was capable but DD wasn't interested. I think I am owed a boob monster this time round! I know quite a few people who have had more success with their second so very hopeful that it works out. (A secondary benefit is that it'll keep the in laws at bay!)

I did underestimate the impact of hormones on the whole thing though, I was so irrational about it and felt like a failure.

@Moraxella definitely in this camp. Having to start planning maternity leave and run a budget on what we can afford to do. I don't think I'll be able to take much maternity leave, so adding looking at nurseries to the list too. It's all just so much to think about!

I've completed the nappy lady questionnaire, thanks for mentioning it ☺️ just waiting for feedback. I've also reached out to our local council coordinator, they have a voucher scheme, it's £30 but every little helps - I think most councils do something?. We've already bought a couple - I've got a job to convince my mother, who'll be helping out with childcare. She's so used to disposables with my niece and can't fathom why I'd want washables. We popped along to the nct nearly new sale and bumped into a lovely lady selling her set, my mum showed an interest and bought a couple of Bambino mio's. She's still far from convinced, but I think the pretty patterns might sway the deal, lol.

As for breastfeeding, it's such a controversial topic, I agree with you @DustyDoorframes the opinion that we should but shouldn't is all very confusing. I'm planning on giving it a good shot, but doubt I'll be able to keep up with expressing after returning to work, so we'll just try for as long as we can. I like the idea that it's free, no need to sterilize bottles and helps get you back in shape a little quicker.

So sad that we're all thinking about financial worries and pressures after birth etc instead of being able to enjoy this time! Obviously as it's my first I'm generally a bit anxious about all the unknowns but I do also think there's no real right time to have a baby. We bought our first house last July which needed a lot of renovation and have pretty much just finished doing it so that's been a big expense and made a big dent in our savings. I then left my permanent teaching job at Christmas and switched to supply and then ending up falling pregnant and was signed off sick for HG for the last three months and having to cancel the travel plans we'd made for this year without a refund. So been living on SSP and will only get MA. However I don't regret any of it as I don't think I'd ever have fallen pregnant with the stress of my last job, no coincidence that it happened two weeks after quitting! Genuinely believe that things happen when they're supposed to happen so I'm just making the best of it. Fortunate that hubby's job is quite secure but things will still be tight. However all of us will make it work I'm sure :)

I know Bunnymummy89, it's a really special time so I'm trying to enjoy it and the excitement/anticipation. And they're modern day first world problems really- just saw this comic and thought of you lot!

I have had so much time off i am looking at about £110 pw is SMP

Its shit. Although it means my income for this tax year is next to nothing in the eyes of tax credits (they ignore first £100 pw of mat pay) so hopefully our payments there will increase

19 weeks today!

Where is everyone located by the way? Bit of a long shot but wondering if there are any nearby September mummies here! Maybe we could add it to the spreadsheet?