June 2019 - Part 7!

[Kescilly]

Hi ladies! Picking names, packing hospital bags - third trimester here we come!

I thought I'd start out with the stats this time and I'll post the updated name list in a bit. I've just included the data that I have, since a lot of people are missing bits (or quite possibly I've missed their posts). We come from all over, so I'll put that bit in another post later as well.

Our average age at estimated due date is 33! That should help some of us who are feeling older.

And that's not just because we're all second-timers! In fact, most of us are having our first baby this year.

Baby #1 - 31
Baby #2 - 26
Baby #3 - 9
Baby #4 - 1
Babies 1&2 together! - 1

Fifteen of us are expecting lovely little boys, nineteen of us are expecting darling little girls, and at least sixteen of us are waiting to be surprised!

The average due date is June 13th, and the most popular due date is June 24th. We don't have anyone expecting on the 15th, 23rd, 27th, or 30th as far as I can tell.

And if you happen to have a baby on my birthday (June 16th), your baby will be born on Father's Day this year!

@weebean that sounds like a terrible appointment and if you're not happy then definitely take up some of the advice and suggestions from the others on this thread about the supervisor of midwives!

Does anyone think they are possibly having a long bony baby?

This one is really visibly now pushing against me in a way other DC have not and my god it can be painful. She is very keen on poking me in the late evening around the side of my stomach and it feels like she’s running a hand/knee/elbow up to my ribs.

In many ways I love it, she’s so visible but also BLIMEY it’s painful. I even “OOOF”’d on the train yesterday.

Another one waiting for the growth scan in the hope of then knowing what I want to do! It’s on Monday so fingers crossed...

Also will say I found my first consultant appointment really disappointing and not helpful in the least so I had a birth options meeting with a consultant midwife which was SO much better!

Just a moan really, I am feeling overwhelmed. I’m desperately trying to organise our house before the baby arrives, we have no storage and too much stuff. I also have 30 school reports to write ASAP but I’m just too tired by the time DS goes to bed to even think about the laptop . Not sleeping well at night due to the pain in my hips - I’ve ordered a cushion to put between my knees and hope it’ll help. I already have a maternity pillow but doesn’t seem to help as much as it used to.

Anyone else have a complete urge to organise and sort the WHOLE house?!

@Daffydillo I'm overwhelmed too. There just seems to be so much to do, and so many choices to make that I'm paralyzed.

I also have no storage, and even with a massive chuck out a couple of weeks ago, we don't have much space since we live in a 1 bed flat. A 1 bed flat which seems to be made up entirely of stairs and sharp edges.

I've delegated everything I possibly can to DH. He's got to buy all the baby stuff because I can't even make a decision on a nursing bra. My hospital bag is unpacked. I haven't bought a single thing for this baby. I'm sending him out to buy a buggy this weekend because doing it myself is just beyond me.

I am also in a flat out panic because I know absolutely nothing about babies, and I have to look after one in 2 months

@allfurcoatnoknickers glad it’s not just me. DH has been pretty useless in terms of helping sort the house out - he cannot see why I have a sudden urge to get everything done. I am most stressed about disposing of things we don’t want/need because I know I shouldn’t be lifting anything. It’s also incredibly difficult to carry everything down to the car with a small child in tow! I am grumpy and I don’t want to be. Wish I could go on maternity early but I am keen to maximise time/money for when the baby is here.

PS - I’m sure you’ll be fab with new baby

@Daffydillo I threw everything I wanted to throw out in several bin bags, and then left them in front of DH's section of the wardrobe, so he couldn't get dressed unless he moved the bags. It took him a week to drop them off at the charity shop, but he did do it eventually.

I am though, a slattern and can tolerate clutter like that until DH snaps. So that technique may or may not work for you.

I'm saving all my leave for when the baby comes too. And I'm in busy season at work and my whole office is in a state of barely suppressed hysteria 🙄 it's not relaxing at all. I have an appointment with my consultant tomorrow and I shudder to think what my blood pressure is going to be like

@allfurcoatnoknickers you are not alone! Our bathroom was gutted on Monday and before that we've had all the floors replaced, some rooms redecorated, etc. I am fed up with all of it and just want to prepare something for the baby! I also looked around our house and decided it was a death trap. After all those years of traditional furniture, did I really need to go all modern now with sharp edges everywhere?

You'll be brilliant with your own baby, I'm sure. Do you have support for moments where you're not sure what to do? I love your approach with the bin bags, I might need to try that myself!

I got motivated today and ordered a bedside crib (Next to Me) and some random clothes from H&M, hoping something will be suitable to pack into a bag. I'm determined to pack a bag next week! I'm 33 weeks and even the Start4Life emails are starting to sound more demanding about being prepared.

@Kescilly well done getting the crib ordered! And don't worry about baby proofing (or what's "suitable furniture"), it's ages before the baby will be on the move and you can worry about that later!! (We certainly did)
@allfurcoatnoknickers I just want to let you in on a little secret...NOBODY knows what the feck they are doing with a tiny baby. Nobody! Sure, some people have had younger siblings, or nieces/nephews and have a bit of experience that way, but until it's your own baby it's no way the same thing. But you know the other thing? You WILL figure it out. There's a kind of instinct to it I think (it sure as hell doesn't come from midwives/health visitors/whoever you see via the NHS) and you will be ok. And you will work it our. You just will!
I'm awake early after a crappy night with DD. DP is away in the US until next week and for the first time, at almost 3, she really seems to miss him (he travels a bit for work and usually she is fine about it). She has been awake crying for him during the night the last 2 nights having JUST started sleeping through 2 weeks ago, so i'm feeling a bit wrecked with the broken nights, and think I have to assume it's going to be like this until he gets back

@daffydillo @allfurcoatnoknickers I feel a bit overwhelmed too. We have a friend visiting with her 12-year-old this weekend, and next weekend we have friends staying from Brighton who are escaping their building works. The last weekend of April a friend is coming from abroad and I kind of wanted to say no to her, but "I just really want to spend time with you before you give birth!". I love my friends, but working FT I crave some time to prepare for the baby. The changing table is still in the IKEA box and baby clothes in the attic. I still don't even have a suitable bag for the hospital though I did order two nursing nighties from Gap. I want to clear out DH's old DVDs and my books and that takes ages.

I think @toomanyflatwhites is right - no one knows what to do with a tiny baby! You just learn. I'm by far the oldest in my family to have a baby, and I've watched everyone else just pick it up as they go along. You WILL know how to do it! Don't be hard on yourself. All the babies want are to be kept warm, dry and fed.

I'm with you ladies - 33 weeks today and whilst we've bought most things, they're piled up in a massive heap along with most other items from our house as the kitchen extension is still not finished. Our downstairs is a building site, we're still living in the loft on a very low bed under the rafters with nowhere to put a crib if she comes early...
Kitchen was due to be finished last week and then we could finally have put everything in it and started clearing out our future bedroom and nursery but the kitchen fitter cut the worktop wrong and now there's a 2 week wait for the new one to be delivered 😣
Plus no idea what to do with a newborn!
It's all a bit overwhelming but we can do this!!!

Glad its not just me @Daffydillo. I feel like my brain has broken and I can't make any decisions at all, I'm so overwhelmed. I have DS running around whilst I can barely walk, my mum is away who normally provides help, DH has been working late, sometimes til midnight and school hols are a nightmare for us as DS can't cope in a lot of busy environments and his routines are all out the window. He's been a superstar all things considered. And to top it off, I've had all the paperwork through for his SEN stuff and schooling for September which requires a huge amount of reading and liaising with advice from various charities etc. Anyone who has ever dealt with EHC plans will know what I mean and I'm trying to get a school place for him for Sep. So that on top of being ill has just pushed me into panic mode!
Like some of you, I just want the house magically sorted, and to get things ready for baby.

I echo what others have said. Once baby is here you just learn on the job! They never do what the baby books say they will anyway I also found the children's centres great when I had DS, the ones near me all offer a post natal course once baby has arrived which was fab for meeting other Mums in a small safe space and to get advice on feeding/weaning/health stuff (both mum and baby!) etc. Honestly, I already have DS and am still worried about forgetting how to look after a baby!!

At least the sun is out at last. That should cheer us all up!

@KoalasAteMyHomework best of luck with the EHCP, from an EY teachers perspective I completely understand how stressful the web of terminology, targets and journey is

Another one here getting massive house overhaul and totally not ready. 31 weeks today and we decided (sorry I decided) that the old artex ceilings in our house had to go so had then all plastered beginning of March. Sadly they damaged quite a few walls in the process so all of upstairs has needed painting rather than just the hallway they also broke the shower screen over the bath and managed to get that replaced this week (yay can finally get in and out of the shower a bit safer) all of which has delayed getting the spare room ready to become the nursery. We are finally getting rid of the king size bed of of there this weekend so we can get it painted and then we have somewhere to put all the baby stuff which is currently piled up in one end of our lounge and in the understairs cupboard and I can finally get things washed. Still need to order new drawers and storage from IKEA too fully be ready by it will be a big step in the right direction after the room is decorated.

It also dawned on me yesterday that there are only about 2 months to go and have also had a slight panic that I have no idea what to do never changed a nappy (all my friends who have older kids obviously never trusted me to do theirs (or didn't want to subject me to it?) ) so hoping all my natural instincts kick in. Dh has been great and I think he will be when she is here. We don't have any antenatal classes until middle of May (two weekends of intensive course) so really hoping she doesn't come too early so we can get these done at least.

@Daffydillo thank you. Yes it's a nightmare and as parents we only get 15 calendar days to respond (which is more like 12 as it's from the date of the letter which took a few days to arrive). Have just made our comments in time and am now liaising over naming a school so hoping it'll be issued soon and I can forget about it all! At least I know he will have support now, but he needs a specialist school and it's super stressful not knowing if the local ones have a space!

And yes he is in early years transferring to infant school in Sep so am sure you're aware of the work that goes into that. Doesn't help I'm an overthinker and perfectionist!

Blondcat you'll be sick of nappy changes soon enough so don't inflict voluntary ones on yourself just yet haha! Honestly the nappies these days, cloth or disposable, are super easy. I've yet to meet someone who hasn't managed it, it's not like the movies make out!

I’ve never changed one! My husband has changed our niece but I have zero experience. Will have to learn as I go along!

I love that other people are having work done on their houses as well. And that everyone isn’t 100% prepared yet. Since I’m a bit further along I’m trying to get my act together. Bedside crib being delivered today (although I have no clue where to put it atm), ordered some clothes for after birth to put in the hospital bag. And just ordered a few small supplies like a peri bottle for after care as well.

That NHS hospital bag list is massive though! Do they expect us to move into the hospital? I don’t know how long we are expected to stay in.

I've just found a new thing to worry about: prams! Do many of you have one yet? One thing I'm really looking forward to is walks with the baby, and I want to get the choice of pram right. We live in zone 2 in London, so something light-weight and suitable for the city.... But there's a mind-boggling amount of choice and I can't grasp the lingo! Anyone had one they they'd recommend/have their eye on a specific one?

Reading your experiences, I'm SO glad we decided to postpone kitchen refurbishment. We had new windows installed l this week and that's been stressful enough! You guys are heroes with putting up with building work!

@swiftfox we’ve gone for the Mamas & Papas Flip XT2. I was totally overwhelmed by the choices but basically wanted a travel system that would fit in the small boot of our car. We haven’t used it so far (unless you count the cat occupying the carrycot) but most of the reviews I read were quite good. We aren’t in London though, so might have different requirements to you.

Mamas & Papas Flip XT2
Best pram I’ve ever had @kescilly and I wish we’d never got shot of ours.

Kescilly I am essentially packing two bags. One for labour/birth and then a second one with extra bits in case I stay in a few days again. The second one will just go in the boot of the car so it's there if we need it. So I may back 10 nappies for example and have another ten and some extra baby outfits in the car bag iyswim.
Tbh I didn't need half of what I packed last time but needed some stuff I didn't pack - but it wasn't hard to ask DH or grandparents etc to pop out for me and bring stuff to the hospital. DH even got me a new nightie from the hospital gift shop lol.

Swiftfox is it worth looking at the main Mumsnet site for their rated prams. Also I usually Google things like "best pram for city living 2019" etc and normally get good recommendations that way. Look for something durable but lightweight if you can. We have the mothercare orb (not sure they still make it though) which spins and I love. It was robust enough to get on and off the train but quite heavy at times so not sure how useful it would be for you. Some of the lightweight pushchairs such as silvercross pop can be used from birth too.

I am quite relieved to read many of you are living in building sites. Like @Torsz my downstairs is actually a building site. Knocking out walls this week and kitchen is still in boxes. Finally have water tight extension so electrician can get in there... :s

Need to replaster bedroom, nursery and en-suite hopefully next week and then week after get that painted to give the rooms like to air before baby lungs arrive....

Living in the attic :(

I am actually on the verge of not leaving my bed between the building work and stress of work deadlines and looming mat leave... they can plaster around me hiding under the duvet - do you think they will mind????

@swiftfox we've got the Babyzen Yoyo+ because we both have small cars, so needed something pretty compact! It will even fit in the footwell of the backseats, so frees up the whole boot for other stuff. It's a popular choice for London dwellers I believe! Also nice and small for taking into cafes etc.

Had a bit of a stressful morning as baby wasn't moving as much as usual yesterday, so I went in for monitoring earlier. They worried me a bit as they kept saying "just another 10 minutes", but eventually they seemed happy enough (and they got a doctor to give a second opinion so that reassured me).

@swiftfox we have picked up a second hand bugaboo bee with cocoon to use with newborn its not too heavy and folds as one unit I believe it is meant to be good for city living as doesn't take up to much space on public transport but is pretty costly brand new.