July 2019 (thread 9): shame me about my bump, and I'll shame you about your complete lack of manners

[RooKangaroo]

Honestly, I go to catch up on the thread after a few days and you guys have filled it up! Love this chatty group.

How is everyone this morning?

@DianaB I’m not too worried about trimming before I go as I figure most of it will be waxed off so it doesn’t matter if I don’t get that even, it’s the overall neatness, clean lines & not missing patches etc I’m also hoping it might make me feel a bit better about myself & not just a walking belly 😂 I wouldn’t dare to put a razor anywhere near me if I couldn’t see what I’m doing. It’s bad enough when you knick the back of your ankle, I don’t want to think what it would be like elsewhere. I’m sure that I was also told that if you go for hot wax trimming isn’t an issue, but don’t quote me on that as I may have got it wrong.

A walking belly is exactly how I feel!

On trimming, I've not had much success with various mirrors and have been sort of hacking around (slowly!) w tiny scissors and occasionally a razor up top. It's definitely suboptimal. I've never had a wax 🙈 so won't start now and, given DH's over-enthusiastic performance with my hair when I got a brush stuck at the back, I'd rather not ask him. It does really annoy me not being able to reach. I think a full length mirror Igor be the answer.

Kentishgal I wouldn't diet or do anything drastic. Make sure you don't cause yourself to faint or get dizzy spells, especially when you're out and about. If it's not harming the baby it can all be dealt with later. Plus, don't forget it'll be the baby, the placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood and deliberate extra fat for BF. Plus water retention. That's different from 2st gain under normal circumstances.

It's just occurred to me that no one has weighed me ever in this process. I told them my weight at booking and no one has asked/weighed since, until I raised it at triage while waiting for other stuff but that again was my own weighing. Suggests they aren't v bothered about it was a measurement?

I've been getting on and off dizzy spells all day, not debilitating but enough for me to worry mid-conversation if I might passed out and what the other person might do!!

Had a second bump-toucher today, who took it upon herself to prod around in order to work out which side was back and which side was feet... 😬 She was only about 22, my previous bump-toucher was a senior boss woman pushing retirement so maybe this is not an age thing.

@Kentishgal puppy pads 😂😂 I've got some of those incase waters go/going in the car

@kentishgal I’ve been going swimming and it helps ease my back. The physio last week said to avoid breast stroke because of the extra pressure/stretching it puts on your pubic bone when you open your legs wide. Don’t know if that’s a generic pregnancy recommendation or because I’m getting back/hip pain? X

@Giraffe888 - I’ve been thinking I should do some swimming... haven’t since Tenerife at 21 weeks. I don’t really know any other strokes though . I could do some backstroke I suppose! Hope the physio is helping!

giraffe888 my yoga teacher said the same thing to me last week about avoiding breaststroke with pgp....to which I pointed out that it's the only stroke I can do if I want to keep my hair dry. Touch wood my pgp has eased a fair bit in last couple of weeks - don't know why but I'm hoping that's a permanent improvement! stargazydrifter I hope your dizziness is ok? Have they checked your blood pressure lately? Don't worry I won't diet (I don't have the will power in any event!) But I'll try and ease up on the biscuits nonetheless! Just got back from yoga and the girl next to me was 33 weeks and had put on almost 4st so felt slightly reassured I'm not alone.

@dianablythe and @kentishgal I’ve not found doing breast stroke has hurt but I’m going to follow her advice. I don’t like other strokes but a work colleague today suggested doing breast stroke arms and kicking my legs...not sure it will work but I’ll try it tomorrow 😂

@Giraffe888 my midwife advised the same - said to get one of those little boards kids practice learning to swim with and effectively do doggy paddle! Put me off a bit as breaststroke is my favourite too. Suppose you could do sculling or side-stroke? Front crawl seems like far too much cardio for my liking at this point!

@capybaras yes I could try that. I’ve never liked front crawl anyway! X

I also read that about breaststroke somewhere, but had stupidly assumed it was the arm movements that are the issue when, obviously, it'd be the legs. I suppose one of those paddle boards and kicking legs is another way to swim? I only like breaststroke too and same on the hair!

Haven't made it to yoga still, but someone persuaded me to go to singing bowl therapy - all a bit out there, involves gongs and things and lying on the floor similar to yoga, if it's relaxing it might be worth it. As long a I don't get the giggles!

Blood pressure seems fine (we have an accredited little machine at home) maybe I'm just tired.

Re swimming I was advised breaststroke is ok just consciously reduce your normal leg breadth especially if you have pgp. By far the best I’ve found is to lie on your back and just kick, arms by your side, and really lift up your pelvis, squeeze your bum/glutes and pelvic floor. It’s hard work but the improvement in floor muscles and pain really noticeable afterwards. Then I flip over and use the float and again just kick. Backstroke works well too but skipping arms really gets your birth muscles active. And take breaks as you get out of breath quickly!

Has anyone thought about having the Group B Strep test? I know it's a bit early (I think they say 35-37 weeks) but I'm thinking about it - I know the risk is v low with a c section but there is still a small risk. I didn't with my first - but pretty much out of ignorance rather than consciously deciding against. Would be interested in others views.

@kentishgal I’ve never heard of it! 😳 x

Kentishgal yes, me. As you say, the risk is quite low, and lower with ELCS, but the consequences can be serious. I got checked for a short cervix for the same reason. Have got as far as deciding I'd like to, but not worked out how to go about it. Gather NHS won't do it without a "good reason", like with the cervix. I think there are kits you can order online and send away or private clinics. Latter seems preferable. Have you got any further

I had a really annoying bump comment from someone today who had literally just met me: "oh, if you're going on mat leave soon, where on earth is your bump?". I don't know why it riled me so much. I am quietly raging in my head.

The first (I think) baby born on the Facebook group!! According to the post the baby was not quite 30 weeks, but is doing well. It’s getting real now!

stargazydrifter that is a definite "poke in the eye" comment. Some people need to learn some manners! Ignore them - they're just rude. I had seen the kits you can send off - but a friend did it in her last pregnancy (a.d she was positive so got antibiotics) so will ask her where she got it done. But I think I agree - the consequences, however remote, are too devestating to contemplate. chinks123 woah that's so scary!!

Ps giraffe888 have a google - it's a really common bacteria that comes and goes - loads of us have it - but I think if passed onto baby when giving birth it can have potentially serious consequences.

I didn't know about strep b either - will have a proper research tonight. Feel really uncomfortable right now - baby must have moved into an awkward position. Trying to wiggle around on my birth ball to encourage him to settle somewhere better!

@StargazyDrifter I had someone tell me I was far too small for 30 weeks - it really annoyed me too!

In the same of half an hour, I had one woman tell me I was huge and couldn't believe I still had 12 weeks to go then another woman told me that my bump is really small..! People have no clue 😂

In the space of*

This is interesting - https://datayze.com/labor-probability-chart.php

It shows the chances of going into labour by week+day. The chances are so small until you hit around 36 weeks-ish, and then it's interesting how quickly it jumps up into big numbers.

A good one for those who like data and overanalyse things (Who, me? Never! )

Ooh thanks Roo! I was addicted to the miscarriage version of this early on, didn't realise they also have a labour one. Exciting!

How lovely that all is well with the baby that's already been born. Agree, scary as well.

I got even with the annoying bump commentator (in my head at least) by not volunteering that there's a printer on our floor. She's been going up and down a load of stairs all afternoon. I'll be nicer tomorrow.

Strep B I think was routinely tested for once upon a time but these days, I gather, they just check the baby for signs of it on being born and treat if needed. Risk greater in vaginal births than c-sections. I think if spotted early you get a course of tablets.

Oh that's interesting @RooKangaroo a i was addicted to the miscarriage one too!

What are people's thoughts on perineal massage? It's recommended from 34 weeks I think - so thinking about buying the oil now so
I'm prepped. For those who have done it before - is it easy to do yourself or should I rope DH into it?

Seeing that one of our babies has already been born is making me realise it's going to happen and could be soon!

Morning all.
I had someone the other day who I've met twice before through work who basically gave my bump a hug! Think her hand was on there longer then my husband does (the movement and hard belly creeps him out a bit)...

Got a question re work for you guys. Have any of you been excluded from meetings and conversations that affect current projects (pre mat leave)? My mat cover is in my team and to be honest, I feel like she is starting to have direct conversations with my line manager without including me. The line manager does it too.

Also I sent my doc letter explaining my back issues to my line manager on Tuesday morning, haven't got a reply. I've done the same with HR and they are across it, but would have been nice with a reply at least or a question of 'Can I do anything?'. Sometimes I wish I just didn't care as much....

blueeyedviking I'm with you on both of the work issues.

Have something very similar going on in terms of replacement and LM. Only the replacement in our case is someone who currently works to me and who I trained, but I still get excluded. This started happening slowly in December but is now very overt. Have been hearing from outside the team about X and Y step forward, rather than from the LM, and had a slightly grumpy conversation with my replacement last night about keeping me in the loop both as a courtesy and so the team doesn't look completely disjointed if I hear stuff elsewhere for the first time.

I also wish I didn't care. In terms of LM care and concern, that's also non-existent and, while it doesn't matter practically speaking, it's just not nice. There are others I work closely with who have been lovely and considerate in lots of ways, but you'd think your own immediate people would do the decent thing.

I have to confess it doesn't predispose me to giving them the most thorough of handovers... although of course I ultimately will because I still care too much. Looking at it the other way, perhaps this all feels more accurate because the maternity stuff is a bit of an unknown and, certainly in my case, I've no idea if I'd be any good at it? Either way, it sucks a bit.